Cursed by Darkness (Once Upon A Curse)

21. Bodin

TWENTY-ONE

Bodin

Theran’s attack on Forosse was unexpected. Ronna never thought either brother would go that far. She fought to protect her people, and Eryx joined her side. But seeing the two allied only served to anger Theran more. He joined his army on the battlefield, using every bit of his might to defeat his siblings. He vowed to take them out so the world would finally be his.

B odin ran a finger along Juniper’s bare spine with a smile. She was lying fully on top of him, still sleeping. And naked.

He couldn’t think of a more perfect way to wake up.

Except, he needed to get going. The sky was starting to lighten already.

“June,” he whispered. “Wake up.”

Her breathing quickened slightly, so he knew she was awake, but she didn’t move.

Bodin chuckled. “I have to go, Sunshine.”

She shook her head against his chest then pulled herself up higher on his body to bury her face into the side of his neck. He was hard again, even after going at it for most of the night. Mere hours ago, he’d worshiped every inch of her, and she’d returned the favor—his wife was a quick learner, it seemed. It was well worth the lack of sleep, but before passing out, he had still sent a note to ready a carriage so he could rest on the way to the war camp. It would take a little longer, but he didn’t think he’d be able to sit on a horse the whole journey.

Juniper squirmed, drawing attention to the fact that he was pressed to her entrance now. Groaning, he lifted his hips to push in a little, just enough to tease her.

“Don’t go,” she said, lowering onto him completely. “Stay with me.”

A knock on the door saved him from having to answer. He didn’t know what he even would have said. Staying with her sounded so much better than going off to the war front, but his people, their people were falling, and he needed to at least try to help them—both with his leadership and his magic. He was exceptionally strong. His Noxian magic had been passed down from both parents, but he’d also visited the lake a couple of times as a child and drank from its enchanted waters.

As the door opened, Juniper rolled off of Bodin and he quickly made sure they were both covered by the blankets. He’d unlocked it after their last time together, when Juniper had finally fallen asleep. It was still fairly dark, but he shifted, angling his body to hide his hard-on. Nadine strolled in with a soft smile. It was completely out of character for the sassy woman who liked to rile him up. She lit a couple of lanterns on her way over.

“Good morning,” she said, pausing at the foot of the bed. “Laurent had a page find me. He’s ready with the carriage and driver, and a few dozen soldiers are already marching north. I thought I would help Juniper dress so she could walk down to say goodbye.”

Bodin met his wife’s gaze, and she subtly shook her head. He kissed her forehead. “I’ll help her, Nadine.”

“I’ll bathe after saying goodbye,” Juniper added.

Nadine nodded. “I will see you both downstairs, then.”

Bodin sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face. He climbed out of bed before Juniper could convince him never to leave it again. She had that kind of power, he was afraid. Going to his wardrobe, he glanced back to find her openly ogling him. The corner of his lips twitched as he fought a grin.

Seeing his amused look, she narrowed her eyes then stood from the bed too. Now, it was his turn to stare. The candlelight illuminated her perfect curves. Groaning, he turned away. He heard quiet laughter behind him, and he stopped holding back his smile. This woman… He wanted more days with her, more nights. He wanted to share his throne with her and have children with her.

The thought brought him up short. His heart raced in his chest as he remembered Camille’s screams. The blood. If that happened again, if he lost his family again, he wouldn’t survive. There would absolutely be no coming back from losing Juniper. Darkness blurred his vision. Shadows swirled around his hands as the anger and fear bubbled up inside, consuming him. Something tickled at the back of his mind?—

“Bo,” a calm voice whispered, followed by a soothing touch on his arm. “Bodin, look at me.”

He hadn’t even realized he’d closed his eyes, but he opened them now, finding Juniper there with him. She had slipped into a shift, and a gray dress hung over one arm.

“What just happened?” she whispered. Her touch sent the shadows skittering, the darkness fading. “What’s wrong?”

Shaking his head, he pulled her into his arms. His first instinct was to push her away and protect his heart, but he knew it was far too late for that, so he just held on tightly as she clung to him.

He kissed the top of her head. “Nothing. The past caught up with me for a moment.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Are you trying to stall?”

She leaned back with a sad smile. “Maybe. But I really am here if you need to get it out.”

“Thank you,” he said before kissing her lips. “Not today. Let’s get this dress on you before I rip off the garments you managed to put on already.”

Her eyebrows flicked up, making him laugh. He kissed her again, and she stood on her toes, her tongue brushing into his mouth.

“All right, all right.”

She laughed when he put her at arm’s length and snatched the dress from her.

“I really need to go,” he said with a groan.

Bodin helped her into her clothes then dressed himself. Standing behind where she sat at the vanity table, he brushed through her messy blond hair and explained her duties while he was gone. He combed out the tangles and swept his fingers through soft strands. The entire time, she smiled at him. He didn’t want to stop, but eventually he finished and went to get his boots.

“Wait, you still want me to hold the weekly levées?” she asked, braiding her hair as he laced up his boots. “I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can. You’re the queen.”

She tied off the end of her long braid and started pacing. “But the people barely know me. Most don’t know me. They’re not going to trust me with their problems.”

Finished with his boots, Bodin pushed to his feet. Juniper rambling was one of his favorite traits of hers. She was so beautiful when flustered, even though he hated when she worried. He stopped her in her tracks, putting a hand on each of her shoulders. “You are the Queen of Mesairla, and I trust you to do this.”

She placed her hands on his chest. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Follow your instincts. If you have questions, ask one of the advisors—Lewis. He’s one of the noblemen who sits on my council; you remember him?” When she nodded, he said, “Good. He’s staying here along with a couple others in my absence. You can talk to him. He’s a good man and will help if needed.” Lewis had been at his father’s side too. “I trust him, and you . You’ll be great, I promise. I wouldn’t trust you with this, or ask it of you, if I didn’t know that you could handle it.”

He released her to grab a sheathed dagger from the smaller desk he kept in here. It was small but just as lethal as any other blade when used right. “Keep this with you. There is an ankle sheath as well for you in the set of drawers by the armoire, but I thought the thigh one would work best for these dresses since they have the long slits.”

Juniper’s eyes widened. “You want me to wear a dagger?”

“Yes.” He knelt and began strapping it around her thigh, but not before kissing her soft skin. “You’re safe here, and the guards will always be with you, especially Richard, but I want to know that you also have the means to protect yourself should you need to.”

“I haven’t practiced in years. What if I don’t remember how to use it?” She swept her fingers through his hair, and he loved the feeling of her nails scratching his scalp. They reminded him of the scratches on the backs of his shoulders from last night.

Grinning up at her, he said, “The pointy end stabs.”

She rolled her eyes, making him chuckle.

He stood and kissed her on the cheek. “Hopefully, you don’t need it. If you do, just… stab and slice until you can either get away or someone arrives to help.”

“Perhaps Richard can train me more,” she whispered. “If that’s all right, I mean.”

Bodin sighed, once again hating how Forosse treated their women. “Yes, Sunshine. Of course it’s all right. I would actually prefer it, now that you mention it.”

She smiled against his lips as he kissed her again.

“The blade was my mother’s,” he whispered. “She…”

Juniper cupped the side of his face. “I’ll keep it safe.”

“It’ll keep you safe,” he teased, needing to lighten the mood before he gave in to the grief again. He cleared his throat.

“Ready to head down to the carriages?”

“No, but let’s go.”

They walked downstairs hand in hand, Richard and Samuel following through the quiet halls. It was far too early for there to be many people around, other than the staff preparing for the day. Juniper leaned her head on his arm, and he wondered how it was possible he’d been gifted this wondrous chance with her.

For so long, he was sure he was cursed to live out the rest of his days alone. After losing so much, he’d thought it was better that way. At least then, no one else could be hurt because of him.

He never expected to find someone like Juniper. Someone who seemed to truly see and understand him. Even as a child and adolescent, he hadn’t known it could be like this. His parents had an arranged marriage as well, and while they grew to care for one another, it wasn’t true love. As far as he knew, it wasn’t this all-consuming need to be with them at every second of the day.

It wasn’t like what he felt with June. The wife he didn’t know he needed.

Because that was who she was now. He couldn’t imagine his life without her now that he knew how much better it was with her beside him. It was difficult to even remember how miserable he’d been before her arrival.

As much as it pained him to consider, he knew that even what he had with Camille didn’t compare to this. They’d only had a year together, but he’d thought it was the happiest year of his life. Yet, in such a short time, Juniper has made her way into his heart, giving him a sense of serenity and joy he had never experienced before.

Sharing about the arrangement with his brother relieved so much of the guilt making him keep June away. She hadn’t known about it, and she was adamant that Bodin understood that a piece of parchment from fifteen years ago that claimed now-impossible things was irrelevant. She’d told him in the middle of the night, while cuddling after another session, the only thing that mattered was that she and Bodin had found their way to one another. That they were exactly where they were supposed to be, with the one they were meant to be with. And he couldn’t deny the truth in those words. He felt it in his soul that she was right.

They reached the gravel path beyond the main front doors, and Juniper stopped in her tracks, forcing him back into the present.

“You’re going too?” she asked.

Laurent, who’d been waiting at the carriage, looked to Bodin in clear concern, obviously not wanting to upset her.

“I need him with me,” Bodin said, sparing his friend. “He’s my right-hand man.”

“I know. I just… I hadn’t realized you’d both be gone.” Her voice trailed off, the end almost too quiet to hear, but Bodin caught it.

Laurent must have too because he pulled her into a hug. “Aw, Juni, don’t be sad. I’ll be back in a couple months.”

“Weeks,” she and Bodin said simultaneously.

When Laurent glanced at him over her head, Bodin explained, “I promised her I’d be back in two weeks.”

Laurent grinned at him, looking far too pleased by this news. “Then, we shall see you in a fortnight.”

She continued holding on to him, and Bodin watched his friend’s features soften. Laurent didn’t know about her magic, but he was aware of most of her past, so he knew this was a big deal for her. She hadn’t really had anyone like this in a long time.

Bodin put a hand on her back. “All right, give me a moment with my wife.”

Juniper turned, and before she could object, he was lifting her up. She didn’t hesitate to wrap her legs around his waist, seeming not to care that the slits in her skirt exposed to her mid-thigh as he kissed her. Any higher, and they probably would have been able to see her pantalettes. He couldn’t bring himself to care right now either. Saying goodbye to her was proving to be even more difficult than he’d anticipated. If he knew where they were going was safe, he wouldn’t hesitate to bring her with them.

She kissed him deeply, as if she was dreading this goodbye just as much. His palm went to the back of her head, grasping her hair and holding her tightly.

All too soon, someone cleared their throat. He had a feeling it was Richard, but Bodin didn’t look away from Juniper as he pulled back just enough to rest his forehead to hers.

“I’m going to miss you,” she whispered.

“I’ll miss you too.” He was glad they had spent the previous night together. Even if they hadn’t conceived an heir, he was happy to give her those memories. Despite his promise to make it home alive, there were no guarantees. There never were in war.

“Bo, I…”

He lowered her feet to the ground but didn’t release her just yet. “I know.”

And he did. If she was feeling a fraction of what he was, he understood perfectly. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he’d fallen for this incredible woman. He tilted her chin up to meet her brilliant green gaze that glimmered in the flickering torchlight. The sun had only barely started to rise.

“Explore more of the doors and the rest of the palace, and I’ll be back before you know it. I’ve asked Nadine to accompany you should you want anyone other than Richard. But will you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Actually, two things.” Bodin pressed his lips to her forehead. “Save the ninth room to go in with me? I’d really like to be with you when you see it for the first time.”

She nodded. “And the second request?”

“Find Inaya and tell her I spoke with the royal healer. He’d be happy to have her as an apprentice.” Bodin hated the idea of the young woman possibly struggling on her own, and the older man who’d worked for his family for decades was looking for another person to share his work with.

Juniper let out a slow breath, shaking her head. “Why do you let the world see you as a cruel monster? You are anything but.”

To hear that she thought so meant a great deal, more than she could possibly know. But the truth was, it had just been easier all these years to shut himself away and focus on the war. Perhaps it was time to share why. He didn’t want to frighten her, but he was starting to think maybe she would listen without judgment. So far, she hadn’t balked from anything he’d done or said. For the first time in years, he had someone other than Laurent who he was certain he could trust. Not even Nadine knew his reasons entirely.

“I’ll explain more once I return.” He kissed her one more time, holding her close—grateful he could. “I’ll see you in two weeks.”

“Be careful.”

“I always am,” he said, remembering the day of the attack when he’d left her in the portal room and they’d spoken the same words.

Bodin turned and went to the carriage before he changed his mind. He heard Laurent telling her goodbye before climbing in as well, and then they were off, heading toward the never-ending war.

The camp was set up a fair distance from the battlefield, but the sounds of fighting reached Bodin when they arrived. It had taken two full days to get here by carriage, even with trading out horses in various villages along the way. He’d wanted to switch to horseback on the second day, but Laurent argued that they would need their rest. Bodin knew he was right. Especially if they went to the frontlines to help fight after speaking with the commanders.

The carriage rolled to a stop. He and Laurent got out and immediately made their way to the largest tent on the eastern edge of camp near the mountains. A handful of commanders were already standing around the long planning table at the center.

“What’s the situation,” Bodin said without preamble, taking an open spot. They bowed their heads, but he waved them off. He didn’t care about formalities here. Out on the battlefield, his ranking didn’t matter. A sword could kill him just as easily as a lower-ranked soldier.

“Gilarn sent ships across the lake a week ago with fresh troops.” Lieutenant Moreau had been close friends with the former king before the latter passed. By some gods-blessed miracle, he’d made it through this war for fifteen years, and Bodin was eternally grateful for his loyalty, experience, and knowledge. “They have pushed our lines back, almost out of the valley entirely. At this rate, they’ll reach our camp within a day, maybe two, tops.”

Laurent cursed under his breath, and Bodin agreed with the assessment. Looking at the map with figurines to represent each side, he considered everything he knew. The Roumer Mountains spanned the continent, creating a natural divide between Mesairla and Gilarn. The river that split them and flowed into Lac de Rêves was too rocky to travel by boat from the sea, and the lake was surrounded by mountains save for two openings.

To the north of the lake was a small gap that led to Gilarn, and to the south was Valétoi—the valley they were fighting for. Nestled between the rocky terrain, it was spacious enough to give better access to the waters that provided their magic. According to the stories, it had once been a beautiful, lush land. Now, it was tarnished by the war, left bloodied and battered by the near constant fighting.

“We need to reinforce the lines and ensure they do not invade the rest of the kingdom,” Bodin said. “There have already been attacks on our villages by small groups who’ve slipped through.”

Except, he was questioning if that was true. Interrogating the prisoner weeks ago brought up the rebel group Umbra, and he couldn’t help but wonder if they were responsible for the other attacks too. The Umbra wanted this war, believed those with Noxian magic were superior and should rule the realm. And it wasn’t unheard of for them to impersonate Gilarnian soldiers and wreak havoc in hopes of sparking more animosity between kingdoms.

“Have you seen anyone get through?” he asked, glancing at the lieutenant.

Moreau’s thick, dark eyebrows furrowed. He shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of.”

A few others agreed.

“Regardless, we’re vastly outnumbered, Your Majesty. We are barely hanging on at this point,” one of the commanders said. Bodin wasn’t sure which; he couldn’t look up from the map.

“The queen has written to her father to request more men from Forosse,” he said, trying to put the pieces together. He was missing something. It kept nudging the back of his mind, just out of reach.

“Will that be enough though?” Laurent asked.

“I don’t know…” He didn’t know if anything was enough. “It will have to be.”

Shouts rang out, and everyone’s heads snapped up. A soldier ran into the tent, yelling, “They’re here! We’re under attack.”

Everyone rushed from the tent to find chaos. Smoke billowed toward the sky on the western side of the camp. Moreau stuck an arm out to block Bodin’s path as the others headed in that direction with blades drawn. “You should stay here, Your Majesty.”

Bodin knew the man meant no disrespect. He had always taken it upon himself to try to protect Bodin when he came here. Not just physically.

“Stand aside, Moreau,” Laurent said. “He’ll just fight you to get past. There’s no stopping him. Trust me; I’ve tried.”

The older commander sighed and nodded before moving. Bodin thanked him before running into the mayhem with both of them flanking him. He unsheathed his sword and struck the first Gilarnian soldier he saw. Four more quickly replaced him. Bodin tapped into his magic to give him extra strength—the same sort of strength that had helped his warriors continue to fight this long, despite being outnumbered.

Then, realization struck. They weren’t using magic. If these were truly Gilarnian soldiers, where was the Lumen magic? Where were the shields of light?

Glinting metal swung at his head, but he managed to duck beneath the blade in time. He whirled around to drive an elbow into the man’s gut. Spinning, he finished the job with his sword and turned to his next opponent.

Only to be hit in the head, hard.

The world seemed to tilt on its axis as his vision blurred.

As he collapsed to the ground, he heard Laurent shouting his name. He opened his mouth, needing to tell him?—

He fell into darkness, unable to hold on.

All he could do was pray that this wasn’t like last time.