Daddy’s Wild Girl (Montana Daddies #16)

Chapter 33

33

“ T he way that asshole treated you isn’t right. Or how a Daddy should take care of his girl. He was abusive. You understand that, right?”

She nodded. “I do. But it was so hard to see that when I was with him. He made himself my whole world. He didn’t like when I went out with my friends so I stopped seeing them. He didn’t like when he didn’t know where I was, so I had to text him when I left the apartment and when I returned. If he thought I’d taken too long, he’d have to punish me. It was only because he loved me so much . . . that’s what he’d say. He wanted to make sure I was all right. He worried when he didn’t know where I was. That’s when he decided to put a tracker on me.”

Corbin began swearing.

He also felt slightly guilty that the thought of putting a tracker on her without her permission had crossed his mind because he, too, wanted to know where she was at all times.

“Don’t look like that. I know that look. You’re thinking you’re like him, but you’re not. None of that was about me. It was all an ego trip for him. Having someone who followed his every word, who jumped when he said jump, who idolized and looked up at him. He thought he was so powerful. Especially considering who my father is. I think that gave him an extra ego boost.”

“You called him Daddy?”

“Oh yes, he wouldn’t accept me calling him anything else. Not his name, not sir, nothing. It was Daddy all the time. No matter what we were doing. He . . . sometimes it made me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t necessarily want to be Little all of the time. I didn’t want to call him Daddy all the time. And even when I was Little, I had to be the sort of Little he wanted.”

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“I had to act the way he wanted. He wanted me to be around seven or eight and to wear these overalls and pants. He’d do my hair in French braids, and I’d be expected to sit quietly and color or have tea parties with my toys. Don’t get me wrong, I like coloring and tea parties. But not all the time. Sometimes, I wanted to fly a kite or climb a tree or go ice skating or rock climbing. He never let me do any of those things. I wasn’t to get dirty, or speak too loudly, or play too roughly. I wasn’t even allowed to play with slime. And that’s like, a crime, or something.” She slammed her hand over her mouth and stared at him wide-eyed.

What was wrong?

Oh.

Then he got it.

Had her Little just peeked out at him?

“It’s all right,” he soothed. “It’s okay to slip into Little headspace.”

“But it’s not,” she whispered. “I swore I never would again.”

God. He closed his eyes for a moment and convinced himself that he could not leave her to go and find this asshole.

Right fucking now.

When he opened them, he was calmer, at least on the outside. “Baby, I know what happened with this complete and utter asshole was terrible and I understand that it has affected you and made you shy away from your Little side. But you have to know that wasn’t a healthy relationship. He wasn’t a good Daddy. He wasn’t even a good fucking person. He manipulated and brainwashed you. And you deserve so much better.”

“I don’t know that I do.”

He gently cupped her chin, tilting her head back. “You do. I promise you that. If you don’t know it, I do. And I will remind you as much as you need to hear it. But by shutting down your Little side, the things that you need to be happy, all you’re doing is hurting yourself.”

“I don’t even really know what I need.”

“Well, my guess is you need to fly a fucking kite and climb a tree—under supervision, of course—and get muddy and messy. Wear what you want. And play with slime, because you’re right, it is a crime not to be allowed to do that.”

She sniffled, but she was smiling. It was shaky, but it was there.

“And you need a Daddy who will support and lift you up, not berate and manipulate you. Someone who will let you be you.”

“Even if I’m not really sure who that is anymore?”

“Then it would be my privilege to help you. But this isn’t living, baby. Hiding your Little, not wanting to get involved with anyone else . . . that’s letting him win. At the moment, he’s winning. When he’s the loser. A fucking waste of space. He should have been a come stain in his father’s sock.”

“Corbin!” she said with a shocked laugh. “You can’t say things like that.”

“Sure I can. Just did. And it’s all true. Let me put you on a pedestal, treat you like the fucking queen you are.”

Tilting her head to the side, she studied him. “Queens don’t get spanked, though.”

He grinned. He was winning her over. Relief filled him. Not for himself or his needs. They were secondary.

Because he wanted her to have whatever she desired. If she truly didn’t want to be a Little anymore, that was fine. He would support her.

But he didn’t believe that. She deserved a safe space to explore her needs and feelings. To figure out what she really wanted, and he was determined to give that to her.

“How do you know? I think they might get spanked more than anyone else, because they need someone to keep them grounded and under control.” A sudden thought occurred to him. “So he didn’t spank you?”

Relief flooded him as she shook her head. “No, like I said, his punishments were never physical. Actually, he refused to spank me.”

“Refused to?” he asked. “You asked him to and he wouldn’t?”

What the hell?

Her cheeks grew red, but she nodded. “I, uh, I asked if we could use spanking as a punishment instead of timeouts or writing essays. But he said it was barbaric and ridiculous, and if I didn’t like his punishments, then perhaps I shouldn’t be naughty.”

Fuck, the things he’d like to do to this fucker.

They weren’t legal. And he didn’t give a shit.

“Then it’s just as well you’ve found yourself a man who’ll happily spank you when you’re naughty.”

She narrowed her gaze. “I’m not sure that’s a good thing. And you needn’t sound so cheerful about spanking me.”

“Your bare ass over my lap, and me getting to turn it red? Why wouldn’t I feel cheerful?” He smiled through his anger.

“You’re terrible. So spanking is something you’d use as punishment as a Daddy?”

“Yeah, I prefer to use spankings. I mean, I sometimes use timeouts. But I won’t do that with you. A spanking means that the punishment is over and done with quickly. And then we can move past what happened. I don’t want you to be scared of me or of who you are.”

“I’m still not sure I can do this.” She looked so uncertain that it hurt him. He wanted to bundle her up and keep her with him all the time so he could protect her from the world.

But he knew she’d likely knee him in the balls if he tried. God, the thought of anyone trying to snuff out the spark that this girl had . . . it was painful.

“You have a pacifier and bottle in that box . . . your Little is younger?”

“I . . . I think so. I mean . . . I bought those things in the box one day when he was at work. I was supposed to be doing my schoolwork and if he’d found out, he would have taken them away—along with a blanket and an outfit that I really liked. I’ve had Nutters for longer. She was a childhood toy and he let me keep her.”

Let her keep her toy.

Like she’d expected him to throw it away.

“One step at a time, okay?” he said to her. “Come to the Ranch with me. We’ll explore our feelings for each other. If your Little side feels like coming out, great. If not, then we’ll deal with it.”

“But won’t you be upset if I don’t want to do that anymore?”

Well, he didn’t think she could just turn off that part of herself like a tap turning off water. But he didn’t say that.

“I won’t be upset.”

Bebe eyed him like she didn’t quite believe him. Then she nodded and he breathed out a sigh of relief.

“That’s my girl. I’m going to take good care of you. I promise.”

Still, he’d make sure to pack the things in that cardboard box in the closet to take with them.

“How did it end?” he asked.

“Ah, well, it ended when he found someone better than me.”

“What the fuck?” he asked.

Better than her?

What the fuck kind of nonsense was that?

“Yeah, I was completely dependent on him by then. I did everything he told me to. Ate what he wanted, wore what he put me in, and went to bed when he said. I even took the classes he wanted me to. He, uh, this is so embarrassing to admit . . .”

He just waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts.

“I, uh, well, I didn’t cope well without him. And he’d stopped being around as much. I didn’t really notice until he was gone all night. And my stomach was rumbling because I wasn’t allowed to go into the kitchen and get my own food. And so I hadn’t eaten since breakfast the day before.”

“Please tell me you ate something?” he begged.

“I wanted to,” she whispered. “I stood at the entrance to the kitchen and tried to tell myself to go in and get some food. But I was also worried about the cameras and if it was some trick. He’d do that. Test my obedience and if I failed . . . well, the punishment was usually severe.”

“He would test your obedience by starving you?” he snapped.

“Well, he had never left me that long. But yeah, he’d go out and not feed me and see if I’d disobey him. So I stood at the entrance of the kitchen and knew that if it was a test, I couldn’t fail. I was shaking, scared, and so tired and hungry.”

Setting her down on the bed, he got up, and started to pace. Then he caught sight of her worried face. He remembered her ‘levels.’ Had that bastard taught her this? How to gauge how upset he was?

“Hey, I’m not upset with you. You know that, right?” Walking over, he crouched in front of her and placed his hand on her thighs. “None of this was your fault.”

“I was dumb.”

He gave her a stern look, squeezing her thighs lightly. It didn’t feel right to scold her or threaten punishment after what she’d just told him.

At the same time, he didn’t want her saying things like that about herself.

“Don’t speak about yourself like that. He groomed you into being this way. He was older, in a position of power, and a predator. So do not say that you are dumb.”

A sniffle escaped, but she held herself together. He was so proud of her.

“He didn’t get back until later on that night. And, out of the blue, he just told me to pack up my things and get out.”

“He did what?”

“I just stood there like an idiot who couldn’t understand what he was saying. Because I no longer had an opinion or mind of my own. Finally, he just started packing up my things, then drove me to the train station. He said that it would be best for me to find a new college. That he was just thinking of my feelings, because he didn’t want me to have to see him with his new girlfriend.”

“That’s when I asked him why. I . . . I’m so ashamed of this part, but I begged him not to leave me. To keep me. I don’t know why I did that, I was miserable. But I didn’t know how I was going to survive without him. And he . . . do you know what he did?”

“No. But I get the feeling I’m not going to like it.”

“He told me to get out of the car, or he’d call the police and have me removed. He said that he’d found someone better than me. Someone prettier, more obedient, a better Little.”

Corbin could barely hold onto his temper. The only thing that was helping him was knowing that she needed to get this out and that if he said anything, she might stop talking.

“After that, I just sat there for a moment. Then I got out. And I stood on the pavement so long that this nice man came up and asked me if I was all right. I told him no, and then I just broke. I collapsed. They called an ambulance for me and I ended up in the hospital for a few days. Turns out, I was dehydrated and exhausted.”

“God, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t know how I was going to survive without him. I was practically in a catatonic state. That was one of the few times my dad actually came through for me. He answered the call from the hospital and came to get me on his own. No one knew what had happened to me. I wouldn’t tell anyone what was going on.”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure if I was protecting him or myself. But my dad figured out that I needed help. He got me home and found a therapist for me, and I slowly started to piece myself back together. Even my mother left me alone. Well, she tried to get me to reveal what had happened. But I wouldn’t tell her. No doubt she’d find a way to use it against me. I hate being this bitter and cynical, but . . .”

“I get it, baby. Have you told anyone about what this guy did?” he asked.

“No, other than my therapist, the only person I’ve ever told is you.”

She stared up at him, her face still, expressionless, but her eyes were filled with so much pain and loneliness that it hurt him.

But he was also happy that she trusted him with this.

“I lived at home in the guesthouse for months. And it was actually kind of peaceful. It was what I needed at that moment. My therapist helped me to work through what happened and I started to put myself back together. I even started to think that maybe my parents had changed, that my father would be more attentive, and my mother would be less manipulative. It was the happiest I’d ever been there. Which is really sad when I think about it. Do you know why I finally left?”

He was starting to think that perhaps he didn’t want to know. “No. Why?”

“I found cameras in the guest house.”

Holy fuck.

“That bitch.”

Just when he thought he had a handle on her mother, she did something else atrocious that actually took his breath away.

She was filming her daughter while she was vulnerable? While she was recovering? Even if her mother didn’t know the details, she must have realized that something terrible had happened to Bebe.

“Yeah. When I confronted my mother, she tried to claim they were for security and for my safety. That she was concerned about my state of mind and wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything.”

Bebe bit her lip and he reached up, freeing it. “But I didn’t believe her. I don’t trust her. I knew I had to leave, to get away from her. So I used the money my grandma left me and bought myself a house. Of course, my mother hated that, but I’d bought the house before she found out. I came into that money when I turned twenty-one, and there was nothing she could do about it. I have another trust fund from my parents, but I only try to use that for . . . emergencies.”

“Hey, you don’t have to justify anything to me, baby. I’m glad you got out of there.”

“I wasn’t in a good place. My mental health suffered. I only stayed in San Francisco because this was where my therapist was and I didn’t think I had the strength to start over.”

He didn’t know how she didn’t realize exactly how strong she was when it was so clear to him.

“After a while, though, I realized how much the house was going to cost to fix and that I couldn’t afford to eat and fix the house and go to my therapy sessions. In hindsight, perhaps I should have dipped into my trust fund and kept going to see the therapist.” She gave a sad-sounding laugh. “I should get a job, but the idea of interviewing with someone who saw me on The Benner Life fills me with anxiety. And then what would I even do? I find it hard to have commitments because sometimes things build up in my brain so much that I just need to do something to distract myself, to get myself out of my own head.”

“Like go sky jumping or skateboarding or knock down a wall that you don’t know is structural or not.”

“Yeah, like that. Sometimes, all I hear in my head is his voice. Telling me that I wasn’t good enough. I have dreams of him ordering me to do things I didn’t want to do and me obeying like a good little robot. My worst nightmare is when he orders me to walk off this cliff and I just do it, then I’m falling and screaming . . .”

“Oh, baby.” He gathered her up and rocked her back and forth. “You’re all right. I won’t ever let that bastard or anyone else hurt you again.”

“You can’t promise me that.”

He could if he kept her close and never let her out of his sight.

Probably not a healthy way to live, but if that was the way it had to be . . .

But you don’t want to become like that bastard. You can’t smother her.

“I won’t let him hurt you,” he repeated. “Not him, not your mother, not this stalker.”

“Do you think it’s just some random person who h-hates me?” she asked. “I can’t understand why they would do this . . . why they would a-attack you like that.”

God. She didn’t need this on top of everything else.

He drew her back so he could stare into her face, his hands cupping her cheeks. “Listen to me. He will not hurt you. I promise. You’re going to come to the Ranch and I’m going to take care of you. And if your Little side wants to come out, then she can. We also have a therapist on the Ranch if that’s something you want to consider.”

“I don’t know. I like my old therapist.”

“Then we can see if they could do sessions via video call, but I think you do need to speak to a professional.”

She grimaced. “Yeah, I’ll dip into the trust fund. Trust fund baby, huh?”

“No, not a trust fund baby,” he said sternly. “My baby. My precious, sweet girl. I don’t give a shit whether you have a trust fund or not. What other people think doesn’t matter.”

“I know that logically, but I still feel this curl of shame in my gut when I think about using it. I can still hear what people call me. Sometimes, that’s what I dream about. My nightmares are filled with people yelling mean things at me. Things I saw them write online. And then Ericc is there . . . then him . . . and I can’t get away.”

His poor girl.

She’d been through so much.

“Anytime you hear that, you tell me,” he said sternly. “But you don’t need to dip into your trust fund. Kent keeps Archer on retainer for JSI. So you don’t need to pay.”

“But I don’t work for JSI,” she told him.

“But I do, and partners are included.”

“I’m not . . . I mean, we’re not . . .” Her face dipped down and he tucked a finger under her chin to tilt her head back.

“I want us to be,” he told her. “I want us to be partners. I want to call you my girlfriend. I want to kiss you, hug you, care for you. And I want you to come to Sanctuary Ranch with me, but if you can’t, then I’m staying right here with you. I’m not leaving you. I won’t ever leave you or push you away or take advantage of you. I promise.”

God.

He was all she’d ever wanted. Had she really considered not going with him? Was she insane?

Look at him.

Not only was he gorgeous, but he was the best person she knew.

And he wanted her.

It boggled her mind. But she knew there was only one answer.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, I’ll come with you. I’ll be your girl.”

Whether she could be his Little girl, she didn’t know. But she trusted him to know whether that was a deal-breaker.

A slow smile crept across his face. “That’s my girl.”

That’s what she was.

His girl.