Darkness

12. Autumn-Rose

Twelve

Autumn-Rose

Throwing my bag in the back of the car, I take in the icy breeze moving through the air. I love spring and summer, but there is always something nice about the cool autumn air.

“You killed it in there.” I jump, my back hitting the car. Rowan looks up and down my body. How is he always there? “You looked stunning. You’ll win easily at the end of the month.” He takes a step closer to me, and I glance around to see who’s around. No-one.

“You need to leave.” I quickly move to the driver’s door, but he blocks me in.

“Leave!” I shout at him this time.

“When are you going to realize you and I are meant to be together?” Rowan leans in closer to me, and my whole body freeze when his hand grips onto my hip. “I’ll be your biggest supporter. I never want to stop you from living your dream.” His mouth moves closer to mine, and I try to push him away. He’s too strong.

“I don’t want you anywhere near me.” I slap him hard, but it only angers him.

I go to scream, but he grabs my face, his lips hitting hard against mine. I fight him, but it’s not getting me anywhere. Biting his bottom lip, making him finally move away from me, gives me the chance to get in the car quickly.

I jump when he slams his hand on the window.

“You’re mine! Remember that. Always mine!” he shouts into the window.

My body is shaking as I drive off quickly. Trying to calm myself down, as the tears escape my eyes.

He’s never going away. He will always be there.

No matter what happens in my life, being on the ice is home to me. I can be angry or sad. It is always going to be home.

Being on the ice will always make everything go away. I’m skating so much that I don’t have time to think of anything else. I still remember the day I fell in love with ice skating, then figure skating. This was all I ever wanted to do.

I begged my dad to get me a lesson. I wanted the dream. I wanted to take part in competitions, play for my country and I wanted to show the world that I'm their next big star.

And I did. I became a world Champion. I won every competition I ever took part in.

Do I miss it? Yes, every single day.

I had to stop, I didn’t have a choice.

Stopping competitions was something that broke me.

Why? Because sometimes people come into your life, for the wrong reasons. He came into my life and took everything from me. I had to stop the one thing I loved more than anything in the world because of him. That makes me hate him even more. I know one day he will find me. It didn’t matter what I did or said, he told me I’d be his. No matter what. I’m reminded of that every time I step on the ice.

As I slide along the ice, and I start spinning so fast everything around me is becoming a blur. Finally stopping, I take a deep breath.

It’s not him that brings me to the rink this morning. It’s Mr. Cain. I couldn’t stop thinking about him yesterday, then he had to come to the shop. I’m not interested in anything he has to say to me. He made me feel cheap, again. I felt like I was worth nothing. That is not something I want to feel like again.

I must be mad because all I did yesterday was sit on my bed, hoping I’d see him in his apartment. Again, there was nothing, not a light, not any movement. I honestly don’t even think he lives there.

The way Mr. Cain made me feel was nothing my body has ever felt before. It was as if I had been pulled out of my body, and handed it over to him to make me see the stars. And God, did I see the stars? He showed me the whole damn galaxy.

He made me feel like he wanted me. The way he was talking to me, the small comments he made, I thought he wanted me. I mean, he kissed me first. He asked me if I wanted to stop. He wanted it.

So what the hell happened? What did I do wrong that made him turn away from me like that?

Should I care? No. Do I care? Yes. I wanted him then. I still want him now.

I try to shake the stupid thoughts out of my head. I want him, but he wants nothing to do with me. I skate off the ice and get ready for a busy day in the shop. We have a few arrangements to make for collection today, then I also have to get a wedding finalized. I’ve made up the ideas I’m thinking about doing, so I need to email the designs through and hope they like them. And to top off my day, Katy is going to be asking about Mr. Cain again. Yesterday she wouldn’t shut up at all, and normally I’m happy to talk, but the subject was the same.

Grabbing my bag, I head out to my car, hoping that having a busy day will keep my mind away from the sexy green eyed man. Here’s to wishful thinking. I’m sure I know well that is going to work.

“You got a delivery,” Katy shouts as I stand outside the shop looking at the window, checking to see if my spring window display will work. I hope it does because I honestly think it’s my best idea yet. “You got a delivery!” Katy shouts again.

“I heard you.” I walk through the door, and walk straight out to the back so I can drop all my stuff in the office, then I make my way back to her. “You know you can sign for it.” I put out my hand to sign the paperwork.

“It’s not that type of delivery.” She points to the bouquet of red roses in the black vase. “Took me all morning to make it the way he wanted.” Katy is all excited about her work, and I have to say she’s done a good job, too.

The deep red and maroon colors look so good together. I smile as I take in the sweet scent of them. Taking out the card.

My English Rose

C

“Not much for words, but he knew the flowers he wanted. And he wrote the note himself.” My thumb moves over the words and I have to stop myself from smiling.

I can’t forgive him because he gave me flowers. Yet, my job creating beautiful bouquets is for when a boyfriend, or husband, messes up. They come here, write the note and ask for forgiveness.

“I say call him.” She hands me a card, and I narrow my brows at her. “Come on, he’s a hot, sexy, mysterious man-”

“Can you get me a tea, please?” I cut her off before she says something which will annoy me. Not taking the card from her, I pick up the vase and go to my office to get started for the day.

Sitting down I wait for Katy to leave before the smile I’ve been trying so hard to stop curls up on my lips. They are beautiful, and someone bought me flowers. No one really gets me flowers because they think I work in a flower shop and I don’t want them. They can’t be more wrong. There is no woman on this planet who doesn’t like flowers.

Looking back at the card, my English Rose. Do I enjoy being called that? Yes, absolutely.

Am I going to hear him out? It’s hard not to when I get flowers as stunning as these. I’ll go over to the club after work, and thank him in person, then I can get a better idea of whether this is a game for him. I don’t want to play games, I want something real.

“Your tea.” Katy places it on the desk, as I walk to the side and grab all the orders for today, and get to work. “You think Lincoln is single?” I laugh at Katy’s question.

“How am I meant to know? It’s not like I talk to them all the time.” I shake my head at her and she follows me out to the front and we both set up at the workstation to get started.

“You think he’s hot? I have a feeling he’s older than he looks.” Katy takes one of the order slips and looks through it, while I do the same. “You know what I say, the older men have more experience.”

“What do you always say to me? You want something, you go get it. So go get it.” I look up at her, but she’s still reading the slip and I can see her thinking about it too.

I’ve not looked at Lincoln like that once, mainly because Mr. Cain has been with him, and well, I can’t really see anything when he’s close by.

“Maybe I will.” Her tone makes me laugh again because it’s an ‘I’ll show you,’ but a hint of, ‘fuck can I do it?’

If Mr. Cain is anything to go by, I’m going to say Lincoln is a closed book too, and opening them up is not an easy job. They always say a good book is worth opening at least once. Let’s see what ride Mr. Cain will take me on.

“This one is for a wife on their twentieth anniversary.” Taking the slip from Katy. I need some romance in my life at the moment, so writing this card is going to be just what I need. “I was going to give it to you. No need to snatch,” Katy jokes with me, and I stick my tongue out at her. “I’ll take the funeral then.” She picks up the next slip and I look down at the notes the husband has left.

He’s mentioned her favorite flower is lilies, and she likes bright colors. Walking around the shop, I see what we have, and start picking up a few different ones which will look nice together. He has written a few things he would like to mention on the card, and it’s the first thing I want to do. Really get into the mindset, and because of the roses Mr. Cain sent me, I’m feeling hopeful about the idea of romance.

Grabbing my notebook and pen, I think about what to write.

Thank you for spilling your coffee on me 21 years ago, because in that moment I knew my world was going to be filled with nothing but brightness and beauty. Your

smile is the best thing to wake up to in the morning, because my days get so much better. I’d be lost without you.

I love you

Clark.

I smile at the card, making sure I’ve written the key points he had noted for me. Happy with what I have, I get back to the front of the shop and get the flowers together for him, and see Katy walking around with a customer outside. Oh no, by the looks on her face it’s one of those customers who thinks they can arrange the flowers better than us and is telling her how we have one flower which doesn’t look good with another.

I could save her, but I think this can be a lesson for her to keep her nose out of mine and Mr. Cain’s business. Giving her a smile, I get back to my order. I’m smiling and hoping Mr. Cain will tell me he’s an asshole and messed up.

***

One in the morning, and no sign of Mr. Cain in his place. Again, I bet he doesn’t even live there, and I’m driving myself crazy for no reason at all. Grabbing my coat, I leave the apartment and make my way to the only place I know I won’t be tracked or anything.

Looking over my shoulder, a few times, making sure no creeps are following me, it’s one of the reasons I have not one but two pepper sprays in my pocket. Enough time to run if I need to.

“Hi, Jay.” I walk over to the man. When I first approached him, I was scared he was going to hurt me, but the more I’ve been coming, he looks out for me. Even protected me once when some asshole was giving me a hard time.

“Hi, Autumn. Here you go.” I take the cell from him and give him the money. Walking over to the small bench to the side, I dial the number and get ready to set the timer on my cell. Three minutes, I don’t know if it’s true but in movies and TV shows they always say keep them on the line for three minutes to pinpoint where the person is, and I don’t put it past Rowan to track me through the cell calls.

“Hello.” The voice on the other end always hits me, and the timer has started.

“Mom, how are you?”

“So good to hear your voice. We are all good. Nothing new is happening. Your sister has finished her exams and is just waiting for the results. She’s looking for a job for the summer. Your dad thinks her going to university is going to be a nightmare.” My mom tells me as much information as she can in the time we have.

“She’s always wanted to leave home. Nothing has changed then.” I joke with her, which makes her laugh.

“No, I think your dad is more worried because of what happened to you. I keep telling him, with you it was a one-time thing’ but you know him, he’s worried.”

“I don’t blame him. Talking about him , have you heard anything?” I ask. I hate that I have to waste my time talking about him , so we promised only once a month I would get an update on him.

“He came around asking for you, and we think he’s getting our post somehow. He still thinks you belong to him. Asshole.” I don’t reply to my mom. I was hoping he would just leave me alone. I guess, I’m not that lucky.

“Are you still knitting? How is the blanket coming along?” I just want to talk to my mom about anything that feels like a normal conversation.

“Almost finished, and I can’t wait to give it to you one day. How is the shop?” She’s been working on this blanket for months now, and said it’s for me to have in the winter as it gets cold here. I have no idea how she will get it to me, though.

“Busy, got three weddings coming up, and you would be surprised how many men cheat on their partners.” I laugh, because it is true, this week has been crazy with cheating men.

“So, men are pigs everywhere then.”

“Yes, they are. Same time next week, mom. I love you.” I choke on the words, because I have to wait a whole week to talk to her again. “Can dad be there next week?” I ask. He finds it hard to talk to me, but once in a while he will if I ask in advance.

“I will tell him. I love you.” I end the call with fifteen seconds left, and hand the cell to Jay to get rid of it for me.

“See you next week.” I smile and make my way back to the apartment, as I wipe the tears away. I hate the bastard who has taken me away from my family.

The walk back is always quicker because I just want to get into bed and cry myself to sleep. Buzzing into the building, I go up the stairs, getting my steps in for the day. As I reach my floor, I stop when I see him leaning against the wall, looking all sexy in his black joggers and black t-shirt showing off his tattoos.