Darn Knit All (All Access #3)

Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

THEO

Mai

I miss you

Theo

I miss you too

Mai

What have you been up to?

Theo

Missing you

Mai

And?

Theo

Jerking off to thoughts of you

Mai

THEO!

Theo

What? You want me to sweet-talk you? I stroketh mine throbbing member to the memory of thy taste on my lips. I burn for you, my sweet kumquat

Mai

I hate that I laughed

I t had been thirteen days, three hours and eighteen minutes since I’d hugged Mai for the last time before she’d boarded the plane for Milan. I found myself regularly daydreaming about seeing her, touching her, tasting her.

A basketball hit me in the face, jerking me back to reality.

“Shit! Sorry, man!” Jay Wood ran across the court to lay a hand on my shoulder. “You okay?”

I rubbed my nose, nodding. “That’s what I get for zoning out.”

Upon my return to the Cove, our weekly basketball ritual had recommenced—Linc, Jay, Ren, and I duking it out on the local court. Winner took all—while the losers had to pay for the first round of drinks.

Jay searched my face. “Your nose might be fine but something else is chewing at you.”

I huffed out a laugh, shoving him away. “How about you leave the mental health diagnosis to your wife.”

“It’s about Mai, right?”

My head whipped to stare at Ren who stood behind me, his hands on his hips.

“You’ve been a morose bastard since you got back.” His lips quirked at one side. “You fell in love with her.”

I opened my mouth to deny then sighed. “Yeah, I did. Hard.”

“I fucking knew it.” Linc shoved me. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I haven’t told her yet.” I scrubbed a hand over my still smarting face. “Not to mention the whole Italy thing.”

“What about Italy?” Jay asked, absently spinning the ball on one finger.

I glanced around the empty indoor court—the faded bleachers and fluorescent lighting were as familiar to me as my own hand. Our weekly games—when we were all in town—were more than just four guys shooting the shit. They’d become an outlet for us, a place to share our struggles.

I pointed at Ren. “You going to get weird that I’m talking about your sister?”

“Not unless you’re saying something derogatory.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “But I’ll give you a warning before I start punching.”

“Fair.” I sighed, stepping back to flop onto the worn wooden bleacher behind me. “I’m a fuck-up.”

Linc and Ren dropped on either side of me while Jay chose to sit on the basketball, rolling gently back and forth.

“Explain,” Jay said, and I appreciated that he didn’t deny my statement.

“I want….”

Fuck. How did one describe this aching need inside them? It went beyond missing Mai, beyond the love I had for her, to some long-forgotten part of who I was.

“I want,” I said again with a sigh. “I want her to have everything she desires—be it a fashion house in Milan, world travel, babies—whatever she wants.”

“That’s about her. What—beyond my sister—do you want?” Ren prompted.

“The fuck if I know.” I sighed, leaning back in my seat to stare up at the scuff-marked ceiling.

“This is probably not the time to do this,” Linc said, drawing my gaze to him. “But Annie and I have talked, and we both agree—I’m sorry, bro. But we need to fire you.”

I jerked upright. “The fuck, dude?”

“Oh, harsh,” Jay said with a wince.

Linc’s green gaze met my own, his expression sympathetic but determined. “Let’s be honest, you’re not happy at the company.” He held up a hand to halt my protests. “You’re not, Theo. You haven’t been for a long time, and I’ve been too selfish to recognize it. You deserve to leave and find your true passion.”

I swallowed, feeling a weight shift off my shoulders. “What about the business?”

“We’re good. Promise. While you were away, the team stepped up. They did a stellar job.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “You know you’ll always have a place here. But it’s time for you to work out what you want. And I refuse to be the fucker who holds you back.”

I blew out a breath. “Well, fuck. You’ve stolen my thunder.”

He cocked an eyebrow.

“I’ve been trying to think of a way to quit for the past two weeks. I love you, don’t get me wrong. But coming back here—it doesn’t fit anymore.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to be—but I know I want to do it with Mai.”

Ren huffed and I turned to him.

“I’m happy for you.” He shook his head. “But if you knit me anything for Christmas, I will revoke my approval.”

“You can knit me a body condom,” Jay said with a laugh. “These ungrateful dicks don’t appreciate true workmanship.”

I reached down and pulled out a hundred-dollar note from my sock and handed it to Ren.

“What’s this?” he asked, accepting it with two fingers and a wrinkled nose.

“For losing the bet.”

He frowned for a second then laughed. “So no quickie wedding?”

“Not this year.” I blew out my breath. “When I marry your sister, it’ll be because we’re ready. Not because of some bet.”

“When? Awfully presumptuous of you.”

I grinned, not denying it.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Jay asked, rocking on the ball. “Run for city council? Raise goats? Learn a new trade?”

“Fuck if I know.” I shrugged. “Guess I’ll have to figure it out.”

Linc clapped a hand on my shoulder as he pushed himself to a stand. “I’ll be magnanimous and allow you to keep your job until you work out your next step—but don’t get comfy. There’s a time limit on your employment.”

I chuckled, allowing him to haul me up. “Yes, boss.”

He pulled me in for a quick, back-slapping hug. “I’m proud of you, Theo. Change is never easy.”

“Tell me about it.”

Jay followed us back onto the court, tossing the ball back and forth with Ren.

“It’s a pity you can’t go try a bunch of different jobs to find one that fits.”

Ren snorted. “Can you imagine? I’d pay good money to watch Theo trying to teach kindergarteners their numbers.”

“Or hauling fish—the guy would fall overboard in the first five minutes.”

Linc snorted. “Overboard? He gets seasick.”

“Once! I got seasick once!”

Jay wrapped an arm around my shoulders, squeezing. “It’s okay. You can come learn how to work wood with me.”

“Fuck no!” Ren shuddered. “Do you want him to cut all his fingers off?”

“I hate you all,” I told them, intercepting the ball. “Now let’s play.”

That night I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling and wishing I could text Mai but our time zone difference meant she’d be sleeping soundly.

My conversation with the guys played through my head over and over.

I knew what I wanted—Mai. But a job that fulfilled me would be nice too.

I glanced at my clock. Fourteen days, one hour and three minutes down. Which meant there was still a lifetime to go until her internship ended.

I lifted my phone, turned on the bedside lamp, and snapped off a picture of me cuddling with Urma.

Theo

We miss you

Don’t tell her, but Urma snores as badly as you

Knowing she’d laugh when she woke, I clicked off the light and closed my eyes, silently counting the minutes until I’d see her again.