Deeply Personal

Chapter 16

“Love’s the shortest distance between two hearts.”— Patty Preston, YouTube Influencer, The Allegiance, 6.3 million views

Jessica

“Well, well, if it isn’t the lovebirds!”

It was not quite four o’clock on December 23rd when Tom and Alice Buchanan greeted Paul and Jessica at the door to their lake house. It was a very windy and cloudy Saturday afternoon. Lovebirds ? Jessica couldn’t help but smile. Certainly not.

“For you,” she said, handing Alice a Christmas cactus she’d picked up from a garden center the day before.

“That’s so sweet.” Wearing a long sage-green sweater and cream-colored leggings, accessorized with a beautiful jade pendant, Alice took the plant from her, her hazel eyes shining. “Come in, come in.”

They gave each other warm hugs.

Paul and Jessica had driven up in Paul’s car, the wind so strong the vehicle had swerved dangerously at one point while they were driving over a bridge. Jessica had offered to meet him, but Paul had insisted.

“Are you kidding? No way,” he’d said. “How would that look, us coming in two cars?”

“You’re right,” she’d admitted. How could she not have thought of that?

“Of course I’m right.”

As they’d driven up to the two-story lake house, which featured a lovely off-white stone exterior, Jessica had admired the extended wrap-around porch. Now Alice immediately took Jessica by the arm and showed her around, leaving Paul and Tom to chat.

“I hope you found us all right,” Alice said as she walked Jessica through the spacious kitchen. Jessica noticed that the Brazilian onyx quartzite countertops looked especially lovely against the tiled powder-blue backsplash, though she was surprised there was no island, given that there was obviously enough square footage to put one in.

“Not a problem,” Jessica said. “Mr. GPS took us right to your address.”

“Good, good.” Alice looked around and sighed happily. “We love it here so much. It’s so serene. I wish we could spend more time at the lake, but Tom still works so much. Too much. Seventy-five years old, and he won’t give it up to save his life. Can you imagine?”

Won’t give it up to save his life—an interesting way to put it.

“It’s beautiful,” Jessica said. The living room was decorated in soft earth tones and had a grand brick fireplace. A six foot artificial Christmas tree with lush green branches and a white snow-dusted effect that looked like freshly fallen snowflakes sat in the corner, all lit up.

Excitement sliced through her. Hard work definitely bought things like this, and wasn’t that her dream?

They walked into the sunroom which faced the lake. Several large lake houses had been built around the lake. The Buchanans had a private boat dock and their property was filled with tall shade trees. The view was stunning, even with the wind that whipped up the water and gave everything an ominous cast.

“Windy today, isn’t it?” Jessica asked.

Alice tugged on her arm and led her back into the living room. “We checked the weather, and they said it was all going to pass over quickly, so we should be okay.”

“Hope so.” Jessica gave a nervous laugh. She did not like how hard the winds were blowing. She started worrying about the drive home.

There were nine guests in all. Alex and Bryan—the Buchanans’ two sons, both single and in their thirties—were there, as was Rachel, the early-fortyish daughter, accompanied by her husband, Jeff Cavendish—a solidly built successful businessman in his own right. They brought their daughter—a teenage beauty named Olivia. Tom introduced Jessica to everyone. They already knew Paul.

The group stood in the spacious living room and chatted. Pictures of horses adorned the wood-paneled walls, giving everything a rich look. Jessica approved. Once again, she stared out a window and admired the lake view. She caught Paul looking at her from the other side of the room, and she couldn’t help it—a thrill bolted through her as she smiled at him for an instant before looking away.

Conversations, drinks, and the eating of healthy food ensued. Healthy, but not totally healthy. In the corner of the room, Alex was making mint juleps: bourbon, sugar, mint, and crushed ice. Jessica took one, which he served in a copper cup. “Thank you, sir,” she said with a wink.

It proved to be absolutely delicious—sweet and minty, with enough bourbon to slow down all the crazy thought-trains in her mind. It made her think of horse races and the Kentucky Derby and . . . her mother . “Here’s to ya, Mom,” she said to herself as she lifted her cup. “Wherever you are.”

Halfway through their drinks, as everyone was chattering around them, Paul put his arm around Jessica, and something warm ran through her heart. Instinctively, she leaned into him and rested her head against his shoulder. She reveled in his closeness, the feel of his firm body next to hers. God, he was built like a brick wall.

She recalled how he’d carried her to the medical tent, lifting her up in his strong arms. For a second, she closed her eyes. Then she broke out of her reverie and forced herself to move away from him with a disbelieving laugh.

“Now, now, fake date, remember?” The words just fell out of her, completely without thinking about it. She’d spoken in a low voice, but still. She didn’t want to encourage him. She couldn’t encourage—

“Fake date? How cool is that?”

Huh?

They both swung around. They hadn’t realized Olivia was standing behind them, less than a foot away, a plate of appetizers in her hands. The kid was like a teenage ghost that had appeared out of a smoky haze. “I love it when people fake date. It happens in rom-coms all the time. Cool.”

“Oh, she was just kidding,” Paul said, waving an arm in the air.

“Just kidding.” Jessica forced a laugh and blushed, her voice rising in pitch as if she were almost singing. “Whenever we get in a little spat, one of us will say, ‘fake date’.” She made air quotes with her fingers and laughed even more. “Private joke. You know how it is.”

“If you say so.” Olivia gave them a knowing wink. She was wearing wide-leg jeans and a lavender sweater vest over a white shirt and continued smiling at them inquisitively as she brushed back her long blonde hair. Her wide hoop earrings jangled. “You know, I’d like to go on a fake date one day. It sounds fun.” And then, losing interest, she walked away, checking out her phone. Teens and their attention spans.

“Just go with me,” Paul whispered in her ear. “I’m going to kiss you. For appearances only. If you’re not okay with that, move back now.”

Jessica blinked up at him, stunned by the suggestion.

What should I do?

She didn’t retreat, and Paul cupped her cheek, his callused palm rough against her jaw and his fingers reaching into her hair. He gently held the weight of her head while placing his other hand against her back, so she was fully supported as he tilted her face toward his. He paused, his gaze meeting hers, giving her another chance to say no. When she didn’t—when she closed her eyes and lifted her chin—he leaned in.

The kiss was soft and gentle, a question more than a statement, and Jessica found herself answering it. Her fingers spasmed against his shirt, clutching at him to draw him close. A soft sound came from Paul’s throat, too low for anyone else to hear, meant only for Jessica, and she breathed deep in response, his taste of bourbon and mint filling her.

He pulled away. Cool air slipped between them, and she shivered. His hand pressed against her spine, and she realized she’d nearly gone limp—he was entirely holding her up. She forced herself to straighten and blinked away the film that seemed to have formed over her vision. Had the rest of the world truly disappeared? Had time stopped, or had it only been her?

“You’re the best, babe,” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear, looking around the room.

She tried to respond. She really did, but no words would make it past her throat. Paul.

That kiss, that singular moment of his lips adventuring onto hers had sent her floating away, lifted up. Damn! The things she had to do to win a deal.

After the appetizers and a casual dinner of wild-caught salmon, vegetables, and salad, they sang “Happy Birthday” to Alice, who smiled grandly before blowing out the single candle on her cake, which was large and adorned with a big 7 and 4.

They all applauded, and Mr. Buchanan hugged his wife. With his eyes turning liquid, he kissed her on the lips. “The earth may revolve around the sun,” he said, “but my world revolves around you, Alice. Only you.”

Oh, so sweet. Everyone applauded, and Alice looked buoyant. Jessica was so touched she could hardly stand it. This kind of penguin-ish behavior . . .

Would that ever happen for her? Or would she be a Patty Preston believer and simply learn to rely on herself through life and forget about a man, or at least put the search for a man on the back burner?

Never having a man in her life again was a hard pill to swallow. But maybe it was best that way. Just look what happened the last time she’d let someone in. Maybe she was better off alone.

A few minutes later, Jessica managed to corner Mr. Buchanan’s middle son—Bryan—in a one-on-one conversation. He was tall and handsome, wearing a sweater and jeans.

“So I saw your proposal,” he said. His eyes shot into her. “Trust me, we’re looking at you very closely. You should know something shortly.”

That was it. That was all she needed to hear. Jessica nearly fell back with delight.

“I can modify anything,” she said with her most heartfelt ingratiating smile, trying to keep her voice calm, while inside her stomach was buzzing with giddiness.

“Not necessary. We’re impressed with your work.” He gave her a brief, all-business smile. “Don’t worry about a—”

Lightning lit the sky, and a blast of thunder shook the house. The lights flickered, went out for a dreadfully long moment, then came back on. They all looked out the window as Mother Nature turned violent.

“Oh, no,” Bryan said, staring at his phone.

“What?” Paul asked.

“Looks like a tornado’s starting to develop nearby. I’m serious.”

Winds howled. A thick wall of rain washed over the house. They all stared out the window and grew quiet. Five minutes later, and it wasn’t letting up one bit. A loud blast of sound erupted.

“That’s the tornado signal,” Mr. Buchanan announced.

Oh, great. Just what she needed.

“I’m not allowing anyone to leave. It’s not safe, and we have enough bedrooms and spare toothbrushes for everyone.”

We weren’t leaving?

It was nearly seven o’clock now, and Jessica realized that he was right. There was no way they were going to be able to drive home in this weather. Jessica stared out the window in desperation. What would they do? A fake date was one thing, but a fake sleepover? God, that was just too much to handle.

Jessica rubbed her temples. “It should settle down, don’t you think?” she asked Bryan, hoping and praying. As if to disagree with her, a huge branch flew past the window in the den.

“Don’t think so,” Bryan said. He pointed at the dark, roiling sky.

Paul came up to her, and together they stared out. When he moved closer, she inhaled the scent of him, and his body electrified hers by nothing more than its nearness. Incredible. Even in the midst of a major frickin’ weather event, he turned her on.

“Look,” Paul said. He showed her the weather forecast on his phone.

The heading was in red: “TORNADO WARNING!” A series of affected counties were listed, and theirs—Sumner—was definitely under alert.

Jessica didn’t see an actual funnel when she stared out the window again, but it certainly looked like there was a real possibility for one. The longer she looked, the darker the sky turned. Her hands slickened, breathing quickened.

“You’d be a fool to try to drive home in this weather,” Mr. Buchanan said, walking up to them. “We need to head to the wine cellar and wait this sucker out.”

Paul turned to Jessica and gave her a wry smile. “Looks like we’re stuck here for the duration.” He bit his lower lip. His flirtatious smile made Jessica shiver.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “It might pass over,” she said, meeting his gaze.

And then the lights went out.

Wonderful!

Cellphone flashlights emerging, they all headed to the wine cellar, making their way slowly and carefully. There, they cocooned beneath warm blankets that Mr. Buchanan had brought at Alice’s urging. He set a camping light in the middle of the room. Time passed, thunder boomed, winds howled, and for a moment, the house shook. The winds grew stronger, filled with a mighty force. Oh, God. Was this it? Was this how her life ended? Was the house going to be torn to shreds?

They tracked the weather patterns on their phones, and received texts from friends asking how they were doing. Not so great. The winds kept coming, rain and hail crashing down, the power of the storm growing more intense, and Jessica leaned against Paul for comfort, her body trembling.

As the winds and rain persisted, Mr. Buchanan uncorked a red. “My best bottle of Bourdeaux,” he said. He passed glasses around and poured a drink for them all. “Always wanted to taste this and now’s as good a time as any. I was saving it for a special occasion. But who knows what tomorrow brings. Cheers.”

“The Lafite Rothschild, Dad?” Bryan said with a look of doubt on his face. “Are you sure?”

“May as well.” Mr. Buchanan shrugged. “You can’t take it with you.”

“To you,” Paul said, his eyes roaming around Jessica’s face as he clinked his glass to hers.

“No, to you, babe,” Jessica said, forcing a smile for all to see.

She took a sip of the wine. It was incredibly smooth and tart and delicious. But it didn’t ease her fears. Thunder crashed, and once again, the house shook mercilessly. Something boomed and cracked nearby, and they were all startled, not knowing what it was.

Oh, God! Surely, this was the end of the line . . .

Everyone looked somber, except Olivia, who kept texting as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

“What are you texting about, dear?” Alice asked her as she sat next to her husband, who wore a tight frown on his face. Thunder boomed above and the house shook, wood creaked.

“I just saw something goofy on TikTok,” Olivia said. “I’m sharing it.”

All the adults rolled their eyes. No one said a word.

“Drink up,” Mr. Buchanan said, passing around a second pour.

The thunder continued as the winds raged with angry fury. The house shook violently this time, as if it was about to come unglued, and Jessica shut her eyes, fearing the worst, her body tensing as her heart rattled in her chest. Oh, God. Surely, this was it. Bryan had turned pale, Alex looked sick, and Mr. Buchanan looked like he was on his last gasp. Rachel and Jeff were clinging to each other for dear life as thunder and lightning and winds forcefully bucked and snapped the exterior of the house.

Please, God. Make it stop!

And then, just as if it seemed the house was going to rip apart, the winds started to lessen minute by minute as the hard rain gradually let up. Were they out of the woods, or was this just a prelude for something worse?

Fifteen minutes later, they had their answer. The storm passed and the winds slowed considerably. Finally, it was over.

“Thank God,” Alice said.

“Amen,” Bryan agreed.

Jessica said a silent prayer of thanks, her body unwinding from the tension. It was as if Mother Nature had decided the fun was over—at last. Finally, they emerged from the wine cellar—the home still intact. Jessica had never felt so relieved, though, she had to admit, dying inside a wine cellar really wasn’t that bad of a way to go.

Paul and Bryan went outside to inspect the damage. When they returned, Paul said, “Don’t think we’re going anywhere.”

“Why not?” Jessica asked.

“There’s a huge tree in the middle of the road,” Bryan said. “We couldn’t go around that thing unless we were flying.”

“Oh, man,” Jessica said.

“We are stuck,” Bryan said.

“Yep,” Alex agreed.

“Looks like we have some overnight visitors,” Mr. Buchanan said, rubbing his hands together. He smiled broadly. “Didn’t know this was a bed and breakfast, did you?”

They all laughed.

“So . . . uhh . . . what are the sleeping arrangements?” Paul asked Tom as they traipsed back to the den, using their flashlights. Alice was clearly shaken by the whole situation a bit more than the others. What a birthday.

“You two can have the back bedroom upstairs,” Alice said. “It has its own bathroom. Don’t worry. There’s plenty of room for all of us.”

And that was that. She was going to have to stay in the same bedroom with Paul overnight. There was no way around it. It would look too suspicious if Paul decided to sleep on the couch. Get over it. It was happening.

“It’s small, but comfortable,” Alice went on. “We have four bedrooms, main down, three up, so it should work out. Alex and Bryan can share a bedroom, and they can flip a coin for who gets the air mattress, and there’s a bedroom for Rachel and Jeff. Tom and I will have the main bedroom, and darling Olivia gets the couch in the den.”

“Well, I, uh . . .” Jessica grew completely tongue-tied. Acting skills: vanished. She started rubbing her hands together. She hadn’t expected this at all. “I . . .”

“Oh, come on. I’ll show you two lovebirds the way.” Alice gave them both a knowing smile. She led them both with a flashlight upstairs.

Jessica just stood there, mouth open, blinking.

“Oh, don’t look so worried,” Alice said, waving a hand in the air as suddenly the lights came back on. “It’ll be fine. See? Lights! It always works out, don’t you think? It’ll be just fine.”

Fine? Fine?

After showing them to their bedroom, Alice walked off to a closet down the hall and returned.

“Here are brand-new toothbrushes just for you. Red and blue. Anything else?” Alice asked. Jessica put on a smile, but she rubbed her arms as if she’d turned cold and both Alice and Paul stared at her.

“Something wrong?” Alice asked.

“Uh, no, just a bit, uh, chilly,” Jessica lied.

“I’ll have Tom turn up the heat to make up for the outage,” Alice said.

“No, that’s okay,” Jessica said quickly. “I'm just the cold-blooded type.”

“I’ll warm her up,” Paul said, latching onto her with a huge grin.

“Of course you will,” Alice said, giving him a knowing look.

Paul and Alice laughed and Jessica tried to join in.

“Okay, then. I guess I’ll leave you two alone now,” Alice said, looking at Paul, then Jessica, Paul, then Jessica. “Night-night,” she said in a sing-song way.

Jessica quickly drew away from Paul as she walked around the room. God. What had she gotten herself into now? This was insane. One thing was funny though: Lenny would get such a kick out of this.

The double bed, covered by a blue duvet, looked intimidating and far too narrow. Jessica balked at the sight. Rain gently fell outside as if to underscore the fact that this was going to be one long and nightmarish night. The night was so dark and moonless and—well, creepy.

Paul asked, “Ready for bed? I think it’s time, don’t you?”

What could she say?

Jessica felt herself coloring.

“I do,” she said.

“Say it again,” he asked with a mischievous grin.

“What?”

“I do.” Then she caught the joke. “Oh, hush,” Jessica said.

For a moment, Jessica pretended to herself that this was a real relationship, and they were heading to bed as a real couple. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? But reason quickly restored itself.

“What a weird day,” Jessica said, staring out the window.

Paul came up behind her and rubbed her shoulders. “Tell me about it.”

Jessica’s knees buckled, and she moved away from him, plopping down on the bed. She felt tired and drained and a bit queasy from the entire event. “This was the strangest birthday party of my life,” she blurted. The acting, the lying, the fake smiles, the tornado, that uplifting kiss, hearing what Bryan had reported about the potential project—it had been an emotional ride.

And now, they were alone. Together. Just the two of them. No need to be fake anymore. At least outwardly.

Jessica appreciated how honorable Paul was, though. He drew back the covers on the bed, and Jessica watched as he stood there.

“Ladies first,” he said as his eyes brightened.

“So, I’m supposed to get in there with—”

Suddenly thunder boomed so mightily right above them that it startled Jessica completely. As if someone had pushed her, she fell forward, right against Paul, and the force of her body was enough to push Paul off balance. They both collapsed on the bed with Jessica on top of him, her face an inch away from his face.

“That was interesting,” she said, as they remained in this position, face to face, body to body.

“Very interesting,” Paul said.

They laughed until their laughter faded away, until . . . No. Jessica used all her self-control to stand, trying to regain her dignity in the process.

“Sorry about that. Thunder has always frightened me.” She rubbed the back of her neck.

“I can tell. Look. I know this is uncomfortable, so why don’t we just pretend this is a . . . a . . .” Paul said.

“Sleepover?” Jessica filled in.

“Hardly that. I mean we’re not in high school,” Paul said.

“Right. Let’s just call it a mutually inclusive accommodation due to unforeseen circumstances,” Jessica said.

Paul snickered. “If you say so.”

Jessica sat down on the bed and smoothed the duvet with her hand. “Small bed,” she said.

“Cozy bed,” Paul countered.

Jessica rolled her eyes.

“Okay, I get the picture,” Paul said. “I’ll sleep on the floor. I’ll just go and ask Alice for a sleeping bag and—”

“Are you crazy? How would that look? Just keep to your side of the bed, buster, and we’ll work it out . . . somehow.”

They both took off their shoes, used the bathroom, and then Jessica climbed into bed, which creaked and complained like her conscience. Paul turned out the lights, then slid in next to her and pulled the covers up over them. She turned her back on him quickly and felt his butt rub against hers. She slithered to the very farthest part of the bed on her side—one more inch and she’d be falling off.

And no, they did not fit well on this bed together. Paul’s big body practically overtook the entire bed.

They grew silent and time inched forward. Jessica couldn’t sleep. But Paul? His steady breathing told her he had fallen asleep so easily it was ridiculous. Damn him! To have the audacity to actually sleep at a time like this. How dare he!

Jessica tried to get comfortable but found it impossible.

She pulled the covers closer as her mental wheels churned. The train of her thoughts took her to all kinds of places. The Buchanan deal and how it was such a maybe still, even with Bryan’s encouragement— nothing’s final till it’s final . And Paul, no matter how hard she tried not to give into him, life kept drawing them together—really close together. It was strange and funny and anxiety-producing all at the same time.

Finally, Jessica fell asleep, tired, exhausted really, yet feeling safe next to Paul.

Safe. Yet, just as equally confused.