Defining Us (Rocky Waters)

Chapter 13

13

AINSLEY

W hen I wake up, I am disoriented and have a raging headache. I don’t remember everything from the night before, including how I got into Grayson’s bed. I remember him telling me his story. As he was telling me, I couldn’t look up at him because the tears that pricked the corners of my eyes would have been unleashed, and I couldn’t let him see me cry again.

As he poured his soul out to me, I couldn’t even bring myself to tell him my story, the one that’s so similar to his, only with a different path to the same outcome. I know he’s not a judgmental person by nature, but I’ve never come to terms completely with my decision six years ago. Last night proves that. Plus, I didn’t deem it appropriate to burden him with my story when he just unloaded his. I know it will come up eventually, but as I said last night, we don’t know where this is going. I know where I would like it to go, a place where my heart has pretty much already gone.

I feel him stirring next to me. Without opening his eyes, his strong arms reach out and pull me closer to him. “You feel okay?” he questions with a gentle tone.

“I didn’t pass out, did I?”

“No, you fell asleep in my arms, but you were so cute, I couldn’t wake you. It’s so convenient to just carry you inside and tuck you into my bed.” He still hasn’t opened his eyes, I’ve noticed.

“I’m not complaining.” With that, he pulls me closer to him. I nuzzle my head into his chest. “I could use some ibuprofen though,” I say, more to myself. Pulling out of his grasp after a few comfortable minutes, I ask, “Where do you keep it?”

He pops up off the bed and hustles to the bathroom. He’s back in a minute with a bottle of ibuprofen and a cup of water. He hands me both and takes off for the bathroom again. Sitting up in bed, I shake two pills out of the container and down them. Before Grayson gets back, I settle back down in the bed.

He’s back in a few minutes and when he climbs in next to me, he resumes our cuddled position, pulling me back into his chest. “You still up for our boat excursion?” he asks.

“Um, yes.” I can’t wait to get on his boat and just be on the water. “I need to stop at my apartment and grab some warmer clothes before we go.”

“Okay. It’s a good thing you don’t have any pets. Or plants. They would all be dead by now.” He chuckles at his own statement and grabs a strand of my hair to twirl in his fingers. I love that he feels comfortable enough to do this. I’ve intentionally started leaving strands out for him to play with when I pull my hair back.

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be good.”

It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve been with Grayson, but lying here in bed with him makes me forget what I used to even do on Saturday mornings. I already feel like this is what my Saturday mornings should consist of, maybe minus the hangover. I close my eyes, hoping to alleviate some of the pain that’s taken over my head.

The next thing I know, it’s about two hours later, and I realize I fell back to sleep. I sit up, a little too quickly, but some of the pain has subsided. Grayson’s still in bed, but he’s playing games on his iPad.

“Hey, sleepyhead. Ready to rejoin the land of the living?”

“Not particularly,” I complain. “As if this king-sized bed wasn’t comfortable on its own, you have to be in it too.” I look up at him, a smile on my face. He places a tender kiss on the top of my head and then smiles at my comment. “How’s the bed on the boat?”

“It’s not as comfortable as this one,” he replies, going back to finish his game. “But for one night, I think we can make do.”

“When do you want to leave?”

“There’s no rush.”

“You shouldn’t tell me that. I’ll go back to sleep…” I cuddle closer to him, sneaking myself underneath his arm.

He puts his iPad in his lap. “Darling, you in my bed or you on my boat makes no difference to me.”

“Where should we go on the boat?” I ask, willing myself to get some motivation to get out of bed.

“I was thinking we could go over to Bar Harbor. I don’t think it will take too long to get there, but I can map it out. We can spend the day exploring it. Bella loves the shopping there, or so she says. Have you ever been?”

I shake my head. “No, but I’ve always wanted to go to Acadia National Park. Can we work that in?”

“You won, so you get to pick, silly.” He tousles my hair.

“Then we are doing that. And I’m getting out of bed. Right. Now.” I finally will myself out of bed to get the day started.

A fter a brief stop at my apartment for warmer clothes and to bring in the mail, Grayson drives us down to the marina where his boat is docked. It’s a short drive, but as we get closer and the boats come into view, it’s quite fascinating. He parks the car in the lot for overnighters, and we unload our bags and food. At his insistence, Grayson makes easy work of carrying all our stuff. He grabs my hand as he leads me down to the docks. We pass by several boats of various sizes, but the closer we get to his, the bigger they get .

When we reach what appears to be his boat, I gasp at the sight. “This is seriously your boat?” I ask in amazement.

“Yep, she’s a beauty isn’t she?”

“Yes!” I whip out my phone to take a few photos of it, including a selfie in front of it. Grayson hops aboard to get everything ready while I admire the boat. The boat is named Gray’s Bells . “Who came up with the name?” I shout up to him.

“My father. He wanted a piece of both of us.”

It’s then that I realize he only has this boat because of his parents’ death. Shaking off the sad feeling I won’t allow to creep in, I start to climb aboard. Grayson reaches his hand out to me and helps pull me over. “Welcome to my home on the sea,” he states, pulling me in for a hug. “I just need to make a few adjustments and then we will be on our way. Feel free to look around.”

While he does whatever he needs to do, I take the grand tour. We climbed on the back, which has a two-seater couch. I descend the stairs first. Down below, there are two rooms, each with a double bed. I throw myself on one of them, the one that appears to be Grayson’s room. The bed seems comfortable enough. There’s a tiny bathroom to the left complete with a stall shower. It will definitely be cramped for two of us should we decide that’s something we want to do.

The other bedroom is similarly decorated, but it lacks that comfortable feeling. I think it’s solely because knowing Grayson’s room is the other one has me drawn to it. There’s a bathroom right outside the door to this bedroom.

I take a peek in the room with the engine and “boat parts” but as soon as I see that’s all it is, I quickly move on. There’s a storage room as well down here. It contains some of the necessary supplies for fishing, including tackle boxes and fishing rods. I run my hands along the rods and imagine Grayson behind me, teaching me how to fish.

I continue my tour back upstairs. The kitchen is small. There’s a tiny amount of counter space, a stovetop and oven, a sink and a fridge. Opening up the one cabinet, I find a few mismatched pots and pans.

The dining area is directly across from the kitchen. There’s a table attached to two benches. It will easily seat four adults comfortably. I can’t help but wonder who Grayson has entertained on the boat as I make my way to the back of the boat, where we climbed aboard, and where Grayson is doing something. I take a seat on the couch and ogle him. He looks like he’s taking notes on a clipboard, and then I realize he’s on the phone.

“Okay, great. We’ll be there in about a few hours or so.” He hangs it up, makes one final note on the clipboard, and takes a seat next to me. “So, what do you think?” he asks, eagerly awaiting my answer.

“It’s incredible. Thanks for sharing her with me.”

He nods. “Of course. I’m glad you agreed to come along. You ready to hit the open water?”

“Yes, please.”

He gives me one last hug before pulling me up. He grabs my hand and leads me to the helm. There are two white, comfy-looking chairs. In front of one sits the steering wheel and controls for the boat. He takes that seat and motions for me to take the other one. Happily, I sit my ass down in the chair and tuck my legs underneath me. Looking out the windshield at the water, all I see are boats. I know that will change soon, once we hit the open water.

He starts up the boat, clicks the lever into drive, and slowly eases us out of the boat slip, leading us away from the dock. I watch Grayson as he drives. He’s extremely comfortable standing in front of his chair, one hand on the wheel. He clearly knows what he’s doing, as if he’s been doing it for a long time.

“How long have you had a boating license?” I ask him curious to know.

“First off, here in Maine, it’s not a license. It’s a Boater’s Education Card. I’ve had it since I was first able to, at sixteen. We had a smaller boat then, and my dad taught me how to drive it when I was young, probably around eight or so. I couldn’t officially get my card until years later, but I’ve been driving boats longer than I’ve been driving cars. And I started that before I officially had my driver’s license.” He peers over at me with a smirk.

“Cute,” I tell him. Because well, he is.

In less than ten minutes, we are out of the marina and onto the open water. It’s absolutely breathtaking, not only the view, but being beside this handsome man who I can’t keep my eyes off of. The ride to Bar Harbor takes a couple of hours, and we keep conversation to a minimum. Grayson focuses on the navigation system to make sure we are on track and heading the right way to the marina at Bar Harbor. He’s made reservations for us to be able to dock the boat overnight when we get there.

Once Grayson has pulled the boat into the dock, it’s about all I can do not to jump his bones. He is seriously so sexy driving the boat. The entire ride over, all I wanted to do was shove my hands down my pants and relieve the ache that resided between my thighs. His flirty winks didn’t help much either.

“So, can we go check out the bed now?” I ask in my most pleading and sexy voice, laying on the charm.

“You realize you aren’t so subtle, right?”

“Of course I do. I’m not trying to be subtle. I’m trying to ease the throbbing that is lodged between my thighs right now.” He’s sitting in the captain’s chair behind the wheel, so I try to climb into his lap.

“Downstairs,” he commands. “Meet you there in two.” He practically tosses me to the ground to get out of his seat. I scurry to the back of the boat, down the stairs, and make my way to the bedroom. I strip my clothes off and climb under the covers.

When he comes into the room, he wastes no time undressing. I hold up the blanket so he can crawl in next to me. He reaches his hand in between my thighs and smiles at how saturated I already am. “Damn, girl. Love that you are ready for me.” He fingers my clit, circles it a few times, and then slips one finger inside. My body reacts instantly to his already familiar touch. It’s not going to take much to bring me to orgasm, especially when Grayson starts breathing heavy.

He shifts his body so he’s more on top of me, rather than sitting next to me. I watch as the veins in his arm pop out as he slips another finger inside. His other hand cups my breast, his fingers circling my nipple and then tugging gently. My hand finds my other breast and I mimic his movements. My head tips back against the pillow, exposing my neck. He brings his head down and feathers kisses down one side.

When I hear him whisper, “Let go, darling,” I obey his command. I let my orgasm wash over me, the heat filling me up with ecstasy. My hips lift off the bed as he continues to slip his fingers in and out. He moves his lips to the other side of my neck and this time kisses up my neck. I wrap my arms around his back and allow myself to come back from the brink of pleasure.

As he kisses my neck, he removes his fingers and drags them up to my clit. He circles it a few times before he hops off the bed. I lay on the bed, massaging my breasts while I wait for him to get the condoms.

I hear him rummaging through the bags. “Hey, did you pack them?” He lifts his head over the bed.

“Nope, that’s your job,” I tell him, flicking my taut nipples, feeling myself beginning to rise again.

“Fuck,” he moans, drawing out the last part of the word. Before he climbs back up on the bed, I notice the pre-cum on the tip of his dick. His face is pensive, as if he’s contemplating something, clearly about to break another one of his rules.

Looking him straight in the face, I tell him, “No.” I let my hands fall from my breasts. “Use your mouth.”

He shakes his head and pretends to pout. “How exactly does that help me?”

His comment surprises me because he’s not selfish when it comes to sex. At all.

“I’ll let you come on my breasts,” I quickly offer, sliding my ass back towards the pillows to sit up .

He starts to stroke his dick, as he hovers over me. “You’re on the pill. I’m clean, you’re clean. It will feel so good.” He drags his dick along my stomach, getting awfully close to my groin area.

“No,” I assert again, more adamantly this time. I don’t want to remind him of what he told me yesterday, but that’s not the only reason why I won’t do it. “You want me to suck you off? I’ll even swallow,” I add with a smile.

“Tempting, but maybe later.” He continues to stroke himself, but I can tell he’s not satisfied.

“Let me stroke you,” I tell him, adding my hand on top of his. As I try to push it out of the way, he shifts his body so I can’t reach it from my position. As I watch him, I realize how aroused he’s making me. So much so that my hand finds its way down my abdomen and in between my legs. I hover above my clit for a few seconds to determine his reaction. When his eyebrows go up, I find my clit and start rubbing. My eyes automatically close as I’m already keyed up.

“Eyes open, Ainsley,” he instructs.

When I force them back open, he’s sitting back on his knees continuing to stroke himself. His deep chocolate eyes bore into mine, and it spurs me on. My fingers attack my clit at a faster pace, and he picks up the pace for himself as well.

I lick my lips at the sight of the pre-cum leaking out. Trying to focus my attention on him as well as my pending orgasm, I lose the battle as my orgasm hits hard. My eyes close for the briefest of seconds as my insides tighten and the rush of pleasure overtakes my body. I remove my hand from my clit and lay it against my stomach.

When I’m able to open my eyes, I watch as Grayson’s orgasm hits, the cum shooting all over my chest and stomach.

When he takes in what he’s done, his eyes widen and he exclaims, “Shit. That was fucking hot.” He hops down off the bed to grab a towel from the bag. He comes back over and gently wipes me down.

“Have you never done that before?” I ask him .

“Never,” he replies, “but I’m adding that to my list to do again.” His lips turn up into a smile as he continues to rub me down. Then his face gets more serious. “Have you done that before?” he asks, and then quickly adds, “You know what I mean.”

I shake my head with a giggle. “Nope, but feel free to do it again.”

He finishes cleaning me up and throws the towel on the floor, then lays against the pillows, and hauls me up onto his chest. He takes my hair down and slips the hair tie on my wrist. I get more lost in him when he starts twirling my hair and almost miss what he says. “We can get some condoms when we go to town in a bit. I’m sorry I forgot them.”

“I’m not,” I respond honestly. “That shit was hot.”

He nods in agreement. “I love watching you come.”

And I love you, I almost voice. Where it comes from, I’m not entirely sure, but damn it if it isn’t true.

“Are you hungry?” he asks.

“A little.” I look back at him. “Don’t take this the wrong way because you know I love your cooking, but can we go out to eat? Like a real date?”

“Ainsley Bradford, are you asking me out on a date?” he asks with a chuckle.

“Totally. Will you go out with me?” I wonder playfully, taking a piece of my hair and tangling it around my fingers.

“Only if I get to kiss you at the end. With my tongue.”

“Whoa there, buddy. Slow down. Let’s get through the meal first and then we can see where it leads.” I can’t contain my amusement, and by the end of the statement, I’m full-out laughing. Grayson joins in, and then he starts to tickle my feet. Since my feet are extremely ticklish, I get a little too close to kicking him in his still uncovered sensitive areas, so instead, he tackles me to the bed. There’s a wild look in his eyes, and as he gazes down between my legs, I know what he wants.

“No. I’m taking you on a date.” I push him off of me, unsuccessfully, because he weighs more than me, and he’s as strong as an ox. “ Grayson, come on,” I plead with him, but he puts more pressure on me to hold me down.

“You said ‘come’ so I must obey.”

I roll my eyes at him, telling him, “You’re ridiculous.” When his face finds me wet and ready to go again, I give up. “Food can wait,” I manage to stutter out as I feel my stomach start to tighten.

A fter two more orgasms, he finally relents and lets us get ready to leave the boat. We shower separately because it’s way quicker. And quite frankly, I’m starving.

I throw my wet hair in a braid because Grayson won’t let me dry it. Just for that, I make sure to tuck in all the strands. Tight. It’s the first thing he notices.

He looks my head over carefully. “Yeah, that’s not going to work for me,” he informs me, as he tries to pull a strand out.

“Hey! Cut it out. Leave it be or you will not be getting your kiss after our date.”

Like a toddler, he pouts and is about to complain again, but thinks better of it. “I hate you,” he tells me, sticking out his tongue.

I smirk at him. “Prove it to me later so that I actually believe you.” I pat his abs—because who can ever get enough?—and walk away, leaving him standing there with his mouth wide open. I smile, knowing how much pleasure I get in the playfulness we bring out in each other.

He catches up to me and throws his arm around my shoulder. When he pulls me in closer, he places a kiss on the top of my head. As he pulls his face away, he mumbles something. Five words. Five little words that have an impact so big that I stop walking.

“What did you say?” I whisper. I grab his wrist and try to pull him back to me. Thankfully, he comes willingly.

He puts his hands on my shoulders, and I can’t help but look up at his face. It’s there in his eyes, what he just said .

He takes a deep breath. With his gaze locked on mine, he states slowly, “I think I love you.”

As if the confession isn’t enough, he crashes his lips to mine. It hits me full force, making me stumble. He steadies me without removing his lips. As he takes my bottom lip into his, I can’t even close my eyes; he’s shocked them wide open. I feel like I can’t breathe as I start to sway back and forth, and he’s still got his lips on my mouth. Feeling way too overwhelmed, I pull my lips away from his and fall into his chest. Trying to steady not only my breathing but my pounding heart as well, I hear him question, “Ainsley?”

Tears catch at the corners of my eyes, and I burrow my head deeper into his chest, wrapping my arms around his back. He embraces me in his arms and squeezes me tightly. And it’s all I can do to just stand steady on my feet for a few minutes. I’m grateful that he just holds me.

When minutes pass, although no clue exactly how long, I squeeze him one last time and then pull out of his embrace. His face is worried, so to reassure him I’m okay, I push up on my tiptoes and plant a tender kiss on his lips. Looking up into those eyes of his, I have to clear my throat before I can speak.

“I’m sorry,” I start, clearing my throat once again. “You caught me off guard. My emotions are all over the place. You have my emotions all over the place. I’m so not a crier, and yet, I’ve cried twice in the time I’ve known you. And they are tears of happiness because you make me so incredibly happy. I’ve never been so consumed by someone before, and well, it’s overpowering in the most incredible and indescribable way. It’s because I don’t think; I know.” I don’t want to steal any of his thunder, nor do I want to say it because he said it to me. Even though I’m sure he wants to hear it, I want him to know I mean it too, that I’m not merely parroting his words.

I place one hand over his heart and the other one over mine. “It’s yours,” I whisper. “You’re the first. Tread carefully.” And I laugh because I need to lighten up the mood. Because as good as this feels, it’s so deep that it’s too heavy to deal with all of it.

Apparently it’s too heavy for Grayson, too. He shakes his head side to side, glancing down at the ground, muttering something. When he picks his face up, his look is less serious than before. “Damn it, girl. Why do you have to go and say shit like that? Here I thought I was doing okay, telling you I love you, and you fucking go and ruin me. This?” He indicates the space between us, my hands still on our hearts, and he puts his hands on top of mine. “I feel it, too. Don’t think I’m giving your heart back to you.”

All I can do is smile. He’s the first to remove his hands, just so he can wipe away the tear that’s fallen down my face. I grab his hand in mine and start walking along the dock. “Come on. I owe you a date.”

“After that, I’m pretty sure you owe me more than just a date.” His smile sneaks across his face, and he winks at me. He brings his mouth down to my ear. “I’ll collect later, darling.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”