Devil’s Vengeance (Devil’s Disciples MC #6)

Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

CHASE

It wasn’t until I showed up in front of Mariah’s parents’ place that I realized how late it was. Not as late as I normally got off, but late enough that it’d be fucking rude if I knocked on the door. And it’d probably scare the shit out of her. I was considering heading back to the clubhouse to get some sleep when my phone rang and Mariah’s name popped up on the screen.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you sitting out front like a creeper?”

Stunned, I looked back at the house. Mariah stood in the front window, her eyebrow raised. There was another woman behind her I didn’t recognize, but Mariah didn’t seem worried about it.

“Get in here.”

Huffing out a laugh, I hung up and headed to her front door. She let me in, that smug look still all over her face. I smacked a kiss on her lips to distract her, locking the door behind me.

“Why were you just sitting out there?”

“Thought it’d be messed up to wake you. I was going to head out in a minute.”

She hummed, lifting onto her toes to kiss me again before whispering against my lips, “Gentleman.”

I rolled my eyes, cupping her neck and squeezing just a little to remind her of the kind of guy I really was. “There’s nothing gentlemanly about what I want to do to you, sweetheart. Just because I’m protective doesn’t make me a gentleman.”

She snickered, and it was obvious she didn’t believe me, but I didn’t get a chance to prove it to her. A light voice cleared from the living room, and I finally looked away from Mariah to see who had joined her. Mariah rolled her eyes.

“Chase, this is my sister, Angelica. Angelica, this is–”

“Holy shit, you’re in the Devil’s Disciples. You’re dating a freaking biker?”

Mariah swung around, shushing the woman harshly. “Will you shut up? Do you want to wake Mom?”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “I take it you didn’t tell her?”

She shot me a dirty look. “Considering every time I learn something new, my life gets threatened if I even think about sharing it? No. I didn’t tell her. She was bullied here by our mom, who thought I needed a shoulder to cry on or whatever. Mom refuses to acknowledge that we aren’t that close.”

Angelica waved away Mariah’s tone, shooting me a sultry grin. “Ignore her. She’s just in a mood. Happens a lot with her. You know, I’ve been dying for an invite to one of those biker parties. I can never figure out how to get in.”

So both sisters lacked self-preservation? Was it a family trait?

“Angelica, don’t,” Mariah interjected. “He’s not bringing you to a party. If he had his way, no women would get anywhere near their club. He’s so overprotective, he puts Dad to shame.”

“Why does that feel like an insult?” I commented, pulling her against my chest. She went willingly enough, which gave me high hopes for the conversation we were going to have about me claiming her. It needed to happen. It was the only way I could guarantee the club would look out for her.

“Because you’re really annoying sometimes,” she quipped, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward her room. I was surprised when her sister protested, grabbing my other arm .

“Hey, don’t just ditch me. I want to meet your man.” She batted her eyelashes at me. “Bikers are hot.”

Freeing my arm, I took a step back. I could see Mariah getting pissed out of the corner of my eye. She mentioned once that her sister was a troublemaker in the extreme. No way did I want a reckless woman like that anywhere near the clubhouse. These sisters needed better self-preservation.

“She’s right. I’m not giving you an invite. Women need to steer clear of our business.”

The sister didn’t like that and jabbed a finger toward her sister. “Why does she get to go?”

“Because I’m claiming her. She’s protected. You’re not. Go find another club to chase.”

In all honesty, women like her were probably perfect for sweetbutts, but I didn’t invite women to the clubhouse. I wasn’t going to put any more people at risk just to get off. Everyone at the club knew I wouldn’t touch sweetbutts, so bringing one to the clubhouse would be suspicious as hell. Besides, Mariah obviously didn't like the idea and I wasn’t looking to piss her off any more than I already had to with what was coming next.

We walked away together to Mariah’s room, ignoring the death glare the sister was shooting us behind our backs. I sat on the foot of the bed while Mariah locked her door, scrubbing my hands over my face. The last few days sucked, and I was exhausted. We couldn’t even plan Nevada’s funeral right now because we were going to war, and we needed to be ready for what was coming.

“You couldn’t come up with a better lie to distract her?”

The annoyance in Mariah’s tone drew my focus, and I dropped my hands, frowning at her. “When did I lie?”

She raised her eyebrows. “When you said you were claiming me? Unless I somehow missed an entire conversation that I definitely think I’d remember.”

I was too tired to figure out what I wanted to say. Physically and mentally. I should’ve been done with this Trick shit weeks ago. If I could’ve finished him off at the rally, none of this would’ve happened.

“It’s not a lie. I was going to talk to you about it earlier, but Trick showed up. It didn’t feel like the right time. ”

When I looked up at her, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Sweetbutts would be happy for a claim, but most of the old ladies put up a fight. They weren’t part of the life and didn’t know what it meant. Mariah had an idea, thanks to those books, but she was also dealing with a lot of shit thanks to me, and I could see the open conflict on her face.

“Chase…”

“It’s for your safety, Mariah. I claim you, the club has to protect you. You’ll be a part of the crew in a way, and we always watch out for the old ladies. Even if something bad happened to me, the club would look out for you. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

It was the wrong thing to say. The look on her face said it all. She looked at me like I’d slapped her across the face. I frowned.

“What?”

“No.”

Stunned, I just stared at her. “No?”

She shook her head. “No, Chase. I like you and maybe under different circumstances, we might be good together, but I’m not agreeing to a fake relationship. Not even to protect myself from Trick. I’d rather just leave. If I’m going to be in a relationship with someone, I want it to be something real.”

My gut twisted at the thought. The last real relationship I had ended so poorly, I closed myself off from the idea of ever having another again. It wouldn’t be fair to whoever I picked. Either I kept most of my life from them and kept them hidden to protect them, or I drew them into my world, where assholes like Trick targeted women close to the crew just to screw with us.

It wasn’t like I couldn’t imagine a relationship with Mariah. She was gorgeous, smart, funny. Tough as nails when she needed to be, but soft and good-natured all the rest of the time. Any man would be lucky to have her. It just couldn’t be me. My crew was my life. Always would be. You left the Devil’s Disciples when you were too old to ride or in a body bag. There was no other way out. And I wouldn’t want one. I joined for stupid reasons, getting good backup to scare Trick away from doing anything stupid. But my crew became my family. My life belonged to my crew. I couldn’t bring Mariah into that .

But I couldn’t risk her life either.

While I was still struggling to figure out what to say, she stepped between my spread knees, her soft hands pulling my face up to look at her. She didn’t look pissed at my suggestion, which honestly surprised me. Just resigned.

“You know, I’ve read about claiming. It’s like marriage for bikers, right? Are you telling me you’d want to basically marry me just to keep me safe? That doesn’t come off as insane to you?”

“Nothing sounds insane when it comes to your safety.”

The corners of her mouth kicked up and her eyes softened. “Gentleman.”

“You keep saying that, but you don’t want me to claim you. Make it make sense, Mariah.” I was pushing, which I told myself I wouldn’t do, but I couldn’t help it. I needed to keep her safe. Croy wouldn’t wait forever to put his stupid plan into motion, whether she wanted it or not. I needed her claimed, so they’d protect her first.

Her thumbs stroked my cheeks, soothing me, even while she shook her head. “If it were something real, I’d consider it. But it's not. You wouldn’t ask if you thought I’d get through it all safely on my own. I don’t even know if you really want me or if we’ve just been fooling around because it's convenient. I’m not signing up for that kind of commitment with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.”

That felt a little like a punch to the gut. I wanted her. I’d wanted her since day one. It was easy to pretend otherwise when I thought I’d never see her again. I ignored it when she showed back up again, hoping she’d get the picture and stay away. And I was ignoring it now because she deserved better than me. She deserved better than a life with a criminal.

“I want you,” I admitted quietly. “So much it makes me feel stupid sometimes. But I want you safe more than I want you beside me. I don’t want to drag someone so perfect into my world. I’d ruin you.”

Pressing her lips together, she raised her eyebrows at me. “You mean more than I already am? I’m in this, Chase. Unless you tell me the old ladies experience more than being targeted by your rivals, threatened with assault, and stalked on a regular basis.”

I huffed out a laugh, wrapping my arms around her legs. “You’d be surprised. The old ladies are tough as hell. They’ve been through a lot.” I sobered, hugging her a little tighter. “I don’t want that for you. I want you to be safe and happy somewhere you won’t be targeted or threatened or anything else fucked up that comes with being connected with my crew.”

“And if I feel safe and happy with you?”

No matter how hard I tried to shove the feeling down, the hope that one question gave me kept expanding in my chest like a balloon. I couldn’t keep lying to myself. I wanted her. I was just too afraid to keep her.