Devil’s Vengeance (Devil’s Disciples MC #6)

Chapter 42

CHAPTER 42

MARIAH

I could see how hard he was struggling to keep himself in check. His one goal was to keep me safe. He’d give up on any chance at happiness for himself just to protect me, and any other woman he got attached to, safe from the reality of life with his crew. But he was ignoring the fact that I was already dropped into the deep end. Especially if I went through with the plan they had. His denying what he wanted wasn’t helping either of us.

When he said he wanted to claim me, for a second it made me really happy. That he wanted me so much that he’d claim me, knowing how his crew probably felt about me. But it wasn’t real. He wasn’t doing it because he wanted me. He was doing it out of an obligation to protect me. I wasn’t interested in that. I wanted something real.

We weren’t going to get anywhere with the conversation tonight. Not with both of us on opposite sides of the argument. For now, we needed sleep. I pulled his hands and tipped my head toward the bed.

“Come on. Let’s get some sleep. We’ll discuss it more later.”

With a heavy sigh, he nodded, shrugging out of his cut and setting it aside on my dresser. It was the only item of clothing he was careful with. The rest he ditched haphazardly until he was in his boxers. I smiled at the domesticity of the situation, even if I knew it wasn’t real. I’d already gotten comfortable in an old t-shirt and shorts while me and Angelica talked about nothing. I slid under the covers, turning on my side to look at him after he switched off the bedside lamp. He got comfortable on his back, one arm tucked under his head, the other hand resting on his belly. He stared at the ceiling, not even bothering to try to get some sleep.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He turned, his face cast in shadows from the limited lighting coming through my bedroom window. “Talk about what?”

“Whatever is bothering you so much, you can’t even try to get some sleep?”

His brow furrowed, and he turned to face the ceiling again. I thought maybe he’d ignore the question. It wouldn’t surprise me if he did. But right when I closed my eyes to get some rest, he spoke, his voice quiet in the dark.

“I failed once. Protecting someone. I vowed to never let it happen again. I want to do whatever I have to in order to keep you safe.”

Resting my hands under my cheek, I considered his words. “You didn’t fail Hannah. You weren’t there. She chose Trick. She went with him. There was no way you could’ve known–”

“She called me.”

I paused, reeling. He hadn’t mentioned that before. “What?”

“That night. She called before the shooting happened. She said she was uncomfortable. I told her to get Trick to take her home.” His voice went tight, and I felt his body tense. “I was still pissed at her. She broke up with me and started dating him less than a week later. My feelings were hurt, and I lashed out. I didn’t take her seriously until the second time she called. I could hear people yelling in the background. She told me she was scared. I think she was hiding, but I told her to get out of there and I’d come get her. If she’d have stayed hidden, she might’ve lived. But I stupidly told her to get outside. To get away.”

It hurt my heart to hear him tell the story. I could hear the pain in his voice. The regret. He carried that with him for years. Blaming himself for her death, even though he wasn’t the one who brought her there.

“By the time I got there, she was dead. Caught in the crossfire. Trick was nowhere to be found.” His hand on his stomach clenched into a fist. “I actually worried about him. I thought maybe he was taken or hurt and they just hadn’t found him yet. Turns out he ran when the shooting started. Left her behind. He admitted it himself. Told me she should have kept up with him. He didn’t feel an ounce of fucking remorse.”

“Which is why you’re so hell-bent on hurting him,” I murmured.

He shook his head. “No, sweetheart. I’m not just going to hurt him.” He looked at me again, the determined fury painted across his face. “I’m going to kill him. You want something real with me, you should know the truth. I’m not a gentleman. I’m not a good man. And I’m not going to stop until that asshole is in the ground where he belongs. He preys on innocent women and feels nothing about hurting them to make himself look good. He killed the sweetest woman on the planet, who trusted him with her life, all because he couldn’t be bothered to leave before he was ready. If he would’ve taken her home when she felt uncomfortable, she would’ve been fine. He’s just as much to blame for her death as I am. And I’m going to end him for it.”

A part of me wanted to argue with him, but this was probably at least a decade-old wound he’d been carrying. No amount of arguing was going to change his mind. And he was right. I said I wanted something real. This was real. In his world, this was how you handled people who screwed up. I’d either have to learn to accept that or walk away. And the more time I spent with him, the harder it was to even consider that option. Because despite his need for vengeance, Chase was a good man. A gentleman. He went out of his way to protect women and put them first, no matter what. He was so determined to protect me, he was willing to sign up for a lifetime with me after only knowing me for a few weeks. No matter how hard he argued with it, he was a good man.

And if I didn’t help him, he’d die trying to get back at the man who stole his first love.

Despite being unbelievably comfortable, thanks to Chase being pressed up against my back, I didn’t sleep well. Partially because I was still worried about Trick showing up and attacking me and my family. But also because my mind was busy doing mental gymnastics all night, trying to figure out a better plan than what Chase told me Croy suggested .

None of the ideas I came up with made any sense. It was either too obvious and Trick would see right through it, or too dangerous. I didn’t want to do anything that would put the general public in danger. So unless I figured out a way to be in the library alone without tipping off Trick, I didn’t have a clue what to do.

I was groggy and grouchy when I finally dragged myself out of bed. It was early enough that I wouldn’t have to deal with Angelica pestering Chase for an invite to the clubhouse, but I had to be careful to get out of the house without running into my mom. She already held back once on meeting Chase. If she found out he stayed the night, that interrogation would definitely make me late for work.

Thankfully, she had another morning of goat yoga to keep her busy, so I waited to wake Chase until she was headed out and dragged him out of the house not long after. He seemed bemused by my determination to not interact with my family, but I didn’t stop to explain things to him. And he couldn’t ask on our way because we still drove separately. He wanted me to have an exit plan if something went down.

Regina arrived before me, so the library was already open when we arrived, but it didn’t stop Chase from doing his perimeter search. I let him go without a fight, because I wasn’t winning that argument, and got comfortable in my chair behind the circulation desk.

“He’s back again, huh?”

I jumped nearly three feet in the air, letting out a startled squeak. Which, of course, had Chase racing back to check on me. I waved him away, pressing a hand to my heart, and shot Regina a frown.

“You scared the hell out of me.”

She chuckled, handing me a mug of coffee in apology. I took a sip as she sat down beside me, feeling the caffeine do its thing. I would’ve made some at home before we left, but I didn’t want to linger and potentially deal with my mother coming home early or something.

Regina cleared her throat, giving me a significant look after Chase disappeared down an aisle again.

“Well?”

I shrugged. Since she knew enough of the truth, I felt like I could be honest. “He knew Trick was a bad bet, too. He’s trying to protect me. ”

Her brows furrowed, and she pressed her lips together tightly. “You know, before yesterday, I would’ve said that was a bit much. But his sticking around might not be the worst idea. You do realize he’s probably just as dangerous, right?”

I tipped my head back and forth. “Yes, and no. His club is dangerous. He isn’t. He’s saved my life twice already. I trust him.”

Nothing that had happened so far had changed my opinion on that. I could trust Chase with my life. I just wasn’t sure I could trust him with my heart.