Dirty Secrets (The Heights #1)

Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

RAVEN

I felt like shit when I woke up alone, checking the time to see it was after ten in the morning.

I dragged my ass out of bed and into the bathroom, relieving my bladder before showering to try and wake myself up better.

There was a light knock on the door before it opened, Logan’s voice reaching me from behind the curtain. “I’ve made you a coffee and breakfast. It’s in the kitchen.”

“Thank you,” I groaned, hearing him chuckle.

“Not feeling too good today, Rae?”

“How do you guys do this all the time?” I complained, closing my eyes to let the warm water run down my head and back.

“We don’t. Our bodies are used to it, unlike yours,” he teased. “I’ll wait for you in the kitchen. Reid and Zavier are out, so at least it’s quiet for you.”

“Where’d they go?”

There was a weird pause before Logan answered, confusing me. “They figured you might want some space this morning after how last night went.”

“Reid thinks I’m still upset that he snapped at me? It’s fine, Devon was just being a dick. I know Reid wasn’t mad at me,” I said slowly, poking my head around the curtain to find him frowning. “Did something else happen? I don’t really remember.”

“Oh boy,” he muttered, cringing slightly. “Finish your shower. We’ll talk over breakfast.”

Alarm bells went off in my head as he gave me one final glance before leaving me alone again, my stomach twisting uncomfortably. If someone had touched me, there was no way the guys would’ve left this morning, but why would I need space if something bad hadn’t happened?

I finished rinsing off and climbed out, drying myself in record time and getting dressed into my comfortable sweats and tank top. I wandered out to the kitchen to find Logan at the table texting, coffee and breakfast on the table for both of us.

“What’s going on? I’m kind of freaking out,” I said slowly, his eyes lifting to mine.

“What do you remember about last night?” he asked as I sat in the chair beside his, taking the pain pills and washing them down with coffee.

“Um, Devon being a prick and trying to convince me to fuck him, then Reid dragged me home.” My eyes went wide as I remembered a little more, groaning. “Oh my God, I think I stripped naked. No wonder Reid left.”

Logan chuckled, but there wasn’t much humor in it. “Yeah, but there’s more.”

“What’s worse than me stripping naked?”

“You, uh, got pretty upset about your body. Asked Reid why he didn’t want to fuck you.” Embarrassment washed through me, and it only got worse when he continued. “And once Reid managed to wrestle a shirt over you and get you in bed, you got handsy. You kind of kissed him.”

I choked on my coffee, putting it on the table in front of me to avoid spilling it.

“I kissed him?” I managed to rasp out as I got control of myself, my face heating.

“Yeah. You cried yourself to sleep when he refused to sleep with you.”

“I can’t believe I did that. I need to apologize, or just die, either option I’m happy with,” I mumbled, taking my head in my hands and resting my elbows on the table. “He must hate me.”

“He doesn’t, he just didn’t want you feeling awkward when you woke up. We didn’t realize you were drunk enough to forget,” he replied, patting my arm. “Besides, it’s not like Reid’s a prude. It didn’t bother him. It was just a kiss.”

“Yeah, a kiss from me . I’m the last person he wants to kiss.”

He stared at me for a second before snorting. “Sure. Whatever you think. Eat your breakfast, it will help you feel better. Reid’s not upset with you, I promise. He was more worried about how drunk you were. And, Rae? I know sometimes drunk rambles hold some truth, so I just wanted to say that you don’t look like a boy. You’re hot, promise.”

All I heard was that Logan thought I was hot.

“You don’t need to make shit up to make me feel better, but thanks,” I said quietly, making him frown.

“I’d never lie to you.” I gave him a look, and he cringed. “Well, I won’t lie to you about that. The street racing stuff was different.”

I didn't want to fight with him, so I just nodded.

We lapsed into silence as we picked at our food, and I choked on my coffee for the second time when Logan spoke. “If you’re going through some kind of hormone thing where you’re always horny, you could always get toys. I know you probably don’t want big dildos, but maybe a bullet vibrator or?—”

“Oh my God, Logan. Stop,” I squeaked out, and he tilted his head with confusion.

“Why? We’re besties, we can talk about it. I know your period cycle and wash your bloodied sheets sometimes. I think a dildo is fine to discuss. You were only asking about what I like in bed the other day, remember?”

“It’s fucking weird.”

“I’m just trying to help,” he said with a shrug, draining his coffee and thankfully shutting up about it.

The guys got back a few minutes later, my face instantly heating as Reid met my gaze.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, making it worse.

“Embarrassed,” I mumbled.

“She doesn’t really remember any of it,” Logan murmured, making Reid frown at me.

“You blacked out?”

“Yeah. I remember leaving the Pit and flashing you, but that’s about it. Logan filled me in. I’m so fucking sorry,” I blurted out, but he shook his head.

“It’s fine. Can we talk in private?”

I nodded, getting to my feet and following him up to his bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed as he closed the door behind him.

“Reid—”

“I don’t need apologies,” he cut in, sitting beside me and nudging my shoulder with his. “It was my fault for letting you get that drunk in the first place.”

“I kissed you though.”

“I kissed you back,” he said bluntly, my head turning to face him so fast I almost snapped my damn neck. “I shouldn’t have. You’re not some random girl, you’re one of my best friends. I’m sorry I didn’t stop you at first.”

“Was it at least a good kiss?” I asked slowly, a chuckle slipping from his lips.

“Well, I didn’t stop you, so it can’t have been too bad. Again, I’m sorry for that. You were drunk and vulnerable, and I took advantage of that without meaning to. I do want to let you know that you also shoved my hand between your legs. I didn’t tell the guys that though, so don’t worry.”

“I tried to get you to put your hand in my panties?” I squeaked, and he cringed.

“You weren’t wearing any.”

“I woke up in panties,” I mumbled. “Did you put me in some?”

“No.”

“Great, so at least two of you saw my pussy last night,” I grumbled, earning a lopsided smile from him.

“I guess it’s payback for all the times you’ve seen us naked.”

“It’s different,” I sighed, raking a hand through my hair and pausing as he took my wrist to stop me.

“It’s not. I know we treat you like one of the guys, but we know you’re a woman. I’ve failed you if you don’t realize how gorgeous you are. Why do you think we have to fight off all these assholes?” he teased, releasing me. “The difference between you and other girls is that we care about you.”

“But you don’t want to sleep with me, right?” I said dryly, seeming to surprise him.

“You want me to? Rae?—”

“No, it’s just that you guys fuck everything,” I laughed nervously, shaking my head. “Forget I said anything.”

“Hey,” he murmured, dropping an arm around my shoulders. “You don’t want to be treated like those girls. I’d never risk our friendship, and Josh would somehow come back and kill me. I don’t want to sleep with you because you’re one of my best friends, okay?”

“I don’t want your slutty dick anyway,” I smiled, giving him a playful shove. “We’re fine, dude. As long as you’re not mad at me, I’m good.”

“I’m just glad it was me and not some random asshole who’d take advantage of you,” he said seriously, and I cringed.

“Yeah. Thanks for getting me home.”

“I’ve always got you,” he promised. “Now, enough sex talk before you throw yourself at me again.”

The joke made me relax as I swatted at him, getting to my feet. “It just goes to show how bad alcohol is for your brain. I think if you guys stopped drinking, maybe you’d stop sticking your dicks in random girls.”

“Sounds horrible. I’ll pass,” he said with a straight face.

“You’ll accidentally knock someone up one day, you know?”

“Doubtful. I never stick my dick in a pussy without a condom.”

“I’m surprised you remember when you’re drinking.”

“It’s autopilot. Logan’s the same,” he shrugged. “You want to come to the track tonight and hang out?”

“You want to race?” I asked, crossing my arms and leaning against the wall.

“I might see if Riley wants to. Maybe you could get Logan to give you the keys to his? I’ll give you a race,” he offered, but I shook my head.

“I prefer to spectate and leave the racing to the experts.”

“No running off to get drunk,” he warned jokingly, and I gagged.

“Definitely not. I don’t think I’ll be able to even smell beer without throwing up for a while. I need an early night, to be honest.”

“I said I’d never drink again after a bad hangover, and then was blackout drunk a week later,” he snickered, getting to his feet and looking down at me, my stupid heart beating a little faster as he tickled me under the chin. “Maybe stop at three next time though.”

“Good idea,” I smiled, moving back from his touch before I did something stupid like try to kiss him while sober. “I might go outside for some fresh air.”

“Take water,” he ordered as I left, and I saluted him before leaving the room and downing a glass of water in the kitchen on my way outside.

Logan and Zavier were on the porch smoking, and Logan gave me a grin. “Was that awkward?”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” I scowled, flipping him off.

Zavier handed me his cigarette with a smile, drawing me against his chest and patting my back. “There, there. We’ve all done dumb shit when drunk.”

“Get off me,” I grumbled, but I didn’t move, leaning into him a little more. “No more talk about me being drunk. I’m never drinking again.”

“Famous last words,” Logan chuckled, dragging on his cigarette and turning his attention to Zavier. “Did you see what Laurel Summers posted on IG this morning?”

“No,” Zavier grunted, not really sounding that interested, but Logan scrolled on his phone and turned the screen towards us. I’d gone to school with Laurel, and she’d made a career doing porn. I didn’t shame people for that, we were all in survival mode, and that career path had gotten her out of the Heights and into a nice house in Crestford.

“Did she get a boob job?” Zavier asked as he ran his eyes over the picture of Laurel lying on a bed, the photo taken from above as her nipples showed through her see-through bra.

“I think so. She got her clit pierced too. It’s kind of hot,” Logan grinned, typing away on his phone before showing us a very close shot of a cum filled pussy with a piercing through the clit.

“Ugh, gross,” I scowled, turning away. “Why the fuck would you think a cream pie and a piercing is that hot? It’s gross.”

“Have you learned nothing by being my bestie?” Logan pouted. “It’s insanely hot.”

“I didn’t think you fucked without a condom?” I answered dryly, making him raise an eyebrow at me.

“Yeah, that’s why it’s hot. It’s a fantasy. Don’t you watch porn? I bet you like random shit too.”

“Watching someone else’s cum drip out of a pussy is weird. I mean, if it was your own body fluids I can see how maybe you’d like it, but that cum isn’t even yours,” I argued, making Zavier laugh as he slid his arms around my middle from behind to keep me close.

“You’d be surprised what you’re into once you explore a little. Don’t let guys cream pie you though.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said flatly, intending on pulling away, but he put a hand on my waist and started moving his thumb back and forth, occasionally slipping it under my shirt to my heated skin.

Logan gave me the side-eye as I leaned back against Zavier more to smoke, but he didn’t say anything. For a moment, I panicked that I was being really fucking obvious, but when both of them continued their conversation, I relaxed.

I zoned a lot of it out since they were discussing weird updates about random porn stars they watched, and I tensed when Zavier whispered in my ear. “Can you stop?”

“Stop what?” I realized I was rubbing on him slightly, and I jerked forward when I felt how damn hard he was. “I’m going inside.”

“It’s fine,” he insisted, looking guilty. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

I ignored him and tossed my cigarette butt in the ashtray and practically sprinted inside, ignoring Reid in the hallway as I locked myself in my bedroom and dove into bed.

What the fuck was wrong with me? Twice in two days was a little ridiculous.

Logan

“What did you do?” I huffed, giving Zavier a dirty look as Raven slammed the door as she escaped. She was really jumpy for some reason.

“Nothing,” he answered with a sigh, sitting on the porch and leaning back against the wall to get comfortable.

“You just apologized for embarrassing her. What the fuck did you do, Lopez?” I bit out, his eyes lifting to mine.

“She was rubbing up on me so I told her to stop.”

“She’s like a cat in heat,” I muttered, sitting beside him. “Maybe I’ll steal her a fucking vibrator.”

“I was considering that. She was really curious about what I was into when we discussed it over breakfast yesterday.”

“I can’t believe you two talk sex stuff like that,” I grumbled, jealousy seeping in. She’d always been able to come to me for personal things, so the amount of things she was now going to Zavier for really bothered me.

“You sure you don’t want me to just give her what she wants?” he offered, and if it was anyone else offering that, I would’ve punched them in the mouth, but I knew he wasn’t trying to fuck her for the sake of it.

He cared about her, but my jealousy wasn’t going to allow him to touch her like that.

“Then what? You two start dating?” I asked dryly.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It is because then I’ll be beating you up daily,” I snarked, a light laugh leaving him.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous, bro. Tell me the truth, you want me, don’t you?”

That eased the tension, and I gave him a light shove, fighting a smile.

“Prick. I knew you were fruity.”

“Only for you, don’t tell Reid,” he joked, patting me on the shoulder. “I have something to do tonight. Cover for me?”

I narrowed my eyes, not liking where this was going.

“Maybe. It depends where you’re going.”

“I have something to deal with. I’ll be back late.”

“You said you were done with dodgy secret jobs,” I hissed, making him wince.

“It’s just something small.”

“Small? Define small. Is this like when you and Ander bought Penn from the skin trade with fake money? Do you understand what would’ve happened to us if her father had found out that money was fake before he’d died? I’m glad you guys saved Penn, but you put all of us in danger. He could've taken Raven as revenge.”

“No, there’s just a party I need to attend,” he replied tightly, not making me feel any better.

“Let me guess, it’s in some rich prick's house and you’ll be rubbing shoulders with a bunch of corrupt assholes for information? Dude, you’re in too deep. You said you’d stop.”

“There’s no danger with this. It’s just an event. I like to keep my foot in the door with them.”

From the look on his face, he knew that was bullshit.

“All it takes is for one of them to realize you and Ander have been playing them all this time, and you’re fucked. Ander took off, so you have no backup. Everyone knows you’re besties with Beckett, so how long until they question that? The Donovans literally take down all their skin trade businesses.”

“I swear, I’d never do anything to risk you guys,” he said seriously, holding out his knuckles for me to bump. “I’m careful.”

“Yeah, well, Josh was careful too with those simple drug deals, but that didn’t stop him from getting gunned down in the kitchen. Please think about it,” I warned, tapping his knuckles with a sigh.

That image would forever be burned into my brain, so would the sound of Raven’s screams.

I never wanted to hear that again.

“I’ll think about it. Did Reid get the money for the electric bill?” he asked, changing the subject and making me wince.

“He’s working on it.”

“I can try to reach out to Lavaro for a loan?”

“Don’t bother. Raven would murder all of us if we got into debt with him. He’s not coming back, dude. I know you two got close, but let him go. We’ll figure it out, we always do,” I stated firmly, annoyance flashing across his face.

“I can fix it, and he’ll be back eventually. He said he would.”

“Then why did he cut contact? We promised Rae that we wouldn’t lean on him for money, so don’t piss her off by trying. She’d send you packing.”

“How would she know it came from him? She doesn’t know most of the money we all used to bring in was some kind of dodgy bullshit,” he argued, and I scowled.

“She’s not stupid, she knows. She specifically asked us not to go to Ander though, so don’t.”

“I don’t want her sleeping in a cold house because the heating doesn’t work.”

“You think we want that shit for her?” I snapped, giving him a shove, and he put his hands up to stop me from doing it again.

“I know you don’t. Sorry, I just hate that she has to live like this.”

I considered punching him but calmed down, knowing all of our nerves were shot to shit lately. We were behind on the bills, it was almost the anniversary of Josh’s death, and all this weird shit with Raven was fucking with us too.

Did she actually want Reid? I couldn’t handle watching them be together.

He’d look after her, so I should be grateful for that, but my jealousy wouldn’t allow me to sit back and watch two of my best friends be in love when I loved her too.

“Maybe I should ask Beckett if any of their businesses need bartenders or something,” I mumbled, hating the idea of working late hours and not being home for Raven, but at least she’d have a roof over her head. If I worked hard, then Reid and Zavier would be home more with Raven.

We all made money doing odd jobs like washing cars or mowing lawns, but it was pocket change, not good income. If I had a part-time job, it would pay better for sure.

“They’re not at the moment, I already asked her,” he replied grimly. “I even asked about security work at Wet Dreams for the Reapers, but they handle it themselves.”

There was a reason Wet Dreams was the best strip club in the country. The Reapers didn’t take any shit and saw the girls as family.

“There has to be something around, surely,” I replied as we walked back into the house, and Reid raised an eyebrow as we entered the kitchen.

“What did you say to her now?”

“Nothing. Her period is definitely about to grace us with its presence,” I said dryly, not looking forward to it.

“I need to get milk today, so I’ll grab her tampons and chocolate,” Reid muttered, mentally reminding himself.

“I’ll bring home some ibuprofen tonight, we’re getting low,” Zavier answered, crossing his arms. “Divide and conquer.”

Reid chuckled, relaxing slightly at the joke. “Yeah, teamwork. Should I check on her? She looked upset.”

“Leave her be. Trust me,” I murmured, giving Zavier the side-eye. “She was rubbing on Lopez like a cat in heat. Embarrassed herself when he asked her to stop.”

“Someone needs to buy her a dildo,” Reid muttered under his breath before jiggling his keys. “I’m going out to see Riley. You guys need anything? I’m heading to the track tonight, so let me know if you want me to come and get you.”

“Nope. I’m heading out myself,” Zavier replied, holding his hand out for my keys, knowing I’d hand them over. “Logan can cheer up Rae. I’ll be back late, so he has forever to make her less murderous.”

“Hey, I’m happy to stay home and snuggle with Rae. I’m the real winner here,” I smirked, knowing she wouldn’t flip out on me. “You guys have fun. I’ll see if I can get Rae out of bed so we can go to the track later. I’ll call you if she wants to come.”

We all split up, and I headed to Raven’s room, letting myself in. She glared at me silently from the bed with her pretty honey eyes, but she didn’t argue as I laid down beside her.

“So, you want to burn shit or something? The guys left and won’t be back until late.”

“We can’t. Last time you got caught you were told it was your last warning. You’re too pretty for jail,” she teased, the anger draining from her face. “Want to go shopping?”

“You mean stealing?” I grinned. “I bet I can get more shit than you.”

“Doubtful. You’re on,” she challenged, moving to climb over me, but I stopped her, her body going rigid for a moment as she landed on top of me. She relaxed after a second and practically melted into my hold though.

Her arms eased around me as she laid like that in silence for a while, and I knew bringing it up with her was going to upset her again, but I had to know. “Are you into Zavier?” As predicted, her muscles tensed and she tried to bail, but I just held her tighter. “I’m not teasing you. I just want to know.”

“He’s hot,” she mumbled, and I couldn’t help the chuckle that left me.

“We’re all hot. Are you blind?”

“Definitely not.” I paused, her head lifting so she could look down at me. She seemed embarrassed, but she spoke confidently. “Guys like you aren't attracted to girls like me though.”

“I’m not fussy,” I joked, wanting to kick myself when her face fell slightly. “I was kidding. You’re fucking hot, Rae. Very fuckable. Ten out of ten.”

She laughed, thankfully, sitting back until she was straddling me. “Stop playing.”

“I’m not. You’re lucky it was Reid and not me you climbed all over last night because I probably wouldn’t have been able to push you away.”

“So, you’d fuck me if I asked?”

The hope in her voice had me as hard as a brick instantly, and I started to wonder what the fuck I’d just started.