Dirty Secrets (The Heights #1)

Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

RAVEN

I laughed as one of the guys showing off on his skateboard in the empty pool managed to take a tumble, Cami laughing too. I was embarrassingly drunk off a six pack, almost missing my mouth as I went to take a swig of my final bottle.

Reid stood beside me, and I could feel his hawk eyes on me like lasers, but he didn’t interfere, letting me get drunk with Cami.

We’d danced, sung along to whatever music one of the other girls had been playing from a small bluetooth speaker, and now the guys were drunk enough to start showing off, apparently.

I sat on the edge of the empty pool and tried not to fall in, dangling my legs over the ledge as Reid leaned down to speak. “I need to take a piss. Stay here with Cami.”

“Yes, Daddy,” I giggled, Cami cracking up as she sat beside me.

“He’s going to spank you, girl. He’s real mad.”

Reid glared at both of us, his voice sharp. “Just stay here.”

He stomped off, and Cami grinned at me. “I don’t know how you do it. If I lived with him, I’d be climbing him like a tree every damn night.”

“The guys don’t want to fuck me,” I snorted, fumbling with a cigarette as I lit it. “I’m starting to think guys don’t like nailing virgins.”

Someone sat on my other side, and I rolled my eyes when Devon spoke. “You need to hang out with different guys then, babe. Normal guys would definitely bend you over every surface of the house.”

“Fuck off, Dev. This conversation is private,” Cami huffed, but he just shrugged.

“Raven was practically shouting for someone to fuck her. Thought I’d offer my help.”

“I’d rather die a virgin,” I muttered, blowing smoke in his face. “Can you go away before Reid gets back? I don’t want to deal with you guys fighting tonight.”

“Worried about your boyfriend? You should let me beat his face into a pulp for how he treats you. I can’t believe he’d leave you untouched,” he chuckled, reaching out to tug my blue hair gently. “There’s something fucking wrong with him and Logan. They fuck everything with a pulse, but not you? Seems a little strange to me. Do you have a weird looking cunt or something?”

“My pussy is fine, thanks for your concern.”

“Don’t you find it weird that they refuse to touch you though? Have they seen you naked before? Something must gross them out, surely,” he hummed, hitting me right where it hurt. I’d wondered the same thing a lot, trying to figure out why they didn’t even flirt with me.

I’d seen them around girls a lot, obviously, so I knew what it looked like when they were interested in someone.

They never looked at me like that.

“It’s their loss,” Devon continued, sliding his hand onto my thigh. “Let them just be your friends. I’m more than happy to show you a good time.”

I was way too drunk if I was considering saying fuck it, but Devon was suddenly sliding down the inside of the pool, glaring up at me as I heard Reid’s voice.

“Touch her again and I’ll cut your fucking hands off, Masterson. I’ve warned you before.”

“She’s begging for someone to take her for a ride. If you don’t want her, get out of the way so someone else can have her,” Devon bit out, getting to his feet and motioning to other people. “Almost everyone here would happily fuck her, Barron. Your girl’s miserable because you won’t let her out of her cage. You think I’m a piece of shit, but all you’re doing is making her feel unwanted. Go on, tell her she’s hot and your dick gets hard whenever she’s around. Everyone knows it but her.”

My heart hammered as I peered up at Reid, stumbling as he grabbed my bicep and hauled me to my feet.

“I wouldn’t touch her even if she was the last woman on earth. Get it through your fucking head, man. I’m not interested in her like that,” he snapped, and I recoiled slightly at the look of anger on his face.

Why was he mad at me over this?

“Reid—”

“We’re leaving,” he growled, not even bothering to say goodbye to Cami as he snatched my bag, and Devon laughed.

“You know where to find me, Raven. I wouldn’t mind slamming into that tight pussy of yours.”

Reid started dragging me towards the hole in the fence, getting annoyed when I kept tripping on my own feet, but he didn’t say anything. It was dark by the fence, I could barely see where I was going, but he steered me to the hole and nudged me through it, taking my wrist firmly in his grip to lead me towards his car.

“Why are you mad at me? I didn’t do anything,” I spat, trying to yank back but failing.

“I’m not fucking mad at you,” he practically snarled, seeming to notice his tone at the last second and took a deep breath before speaking more calmly. “I’m not mad at you. He just really pisses me off.”

“Can you let go of me then? You’re going to break my wrist,” I scowled. His fingers released me and I clutched my wrist to my chest, rubbing at the tender skin.

“Sorry. Can we just get home? I’m going to go back in there in a second and smash his teeth down his throat,” he said gruffly, but his worried eyes raked over me in the moonlight.

I didn’t reply as I tugged the passenger door open and climbed in, slamming it shut behind me.

Reid climbed in behind the wheel and put the radio on low as he drove off, my head resting against the window as I watched the night pass by, not realizing I’d passed out until he gently shook me awake.

“Rae? We’re home.” I blinked up at him, realizing he was standing beside my door, trying to help me out. “C’mon, I’ll put you in bed.”

“I don’t want to go to bed,” I mumbled as he reached over to unclip my seat belt.

“I know. How drunk are you?” he chuckled, sliding an arm around me to pull me out.

“I’m not even drunk,” I argued, my legs not working properly and making me frown down at them. “Where’d my legs go?”

He snickered, holding me carefully to the side and locking the car before lifting me against his chest bridal style. “You’re wasted. Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, until Devon ruined it. You like to fight too much.” I yawned as I buried my face in his neck, closing my eyes. “Guys love things that start with the letter ‘f’, you know? Food, fucking, and fighting.”

“And what do girls like?” he asked dryly, somehow unlocking the house and carrying me inside, heading towards my bedroom.

“Lots of stuff. Music, orgasms, and lots of dick.”

“How do you know they like orgasms and dick?”

“I hear a lot from my room when you guys have company. Those girls seem to like it,” I laughed, sliding an arm around his neck. “I’ve had orgasms before though. God gave me two hands so I’m going to use them.”

“Jesus Christ, Rae,” he snorted, gently placing me on the edge of the bed. “I don’t need to know that.”

“Why not? I’ve seen your dick plenty of times. It’s only fair I traumatize you too,” I pointed out. “I need to pee.”

“Can you go alone?”

“I’m drunk, not stupid,” I grumbled, letting him help me to my feet and taking a second to make them work so I could leave the room and shut myself in the bathroom.

I peed, taking the time to look at myself in the mirror once I was done. It was blurry, but I hated what I knew was there.

My tits weren’t that big but they weren’t tiny, my figure not having much shape to it, thanks to the years of neglect. I’d gone without food a lot growing up, which was probably why I didn’t have the most womanly figure.

No wonder the guys didn’t want to fuck me, I looked like a teenage boy.

I stumbled back to the bedroom, finding Reid already in my bed.

“Do you think if I ate more, I’d look like a girl?” I asked randomly, his eyes glancing up to mine from his phone.

“You do look like a girl,” he said slowly, and I scoffed.

“No, I look like a boy.” I started stripping and he averted his eyes, but he cleared his throat when he realized I wasn’t getting changed.

“Uh, Rae? Pajamas.”

“Look at me,” I demanded, almost falling on my face but managing to stay upright. “I don’t even have an ass.”

He blew out a breath, sliding his eyes to mine. He still didn’t look at me how I wanted though, telling me Devon was probably right. Maybe something was gross about me.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. Can you put a shirt on?”

“Why won’t you look then? You like naked women,” I snapped, hating how my voice cracked slightly. “You look at everyone but me. So there must be something wrong.”

“You really need some sleep,” he murmured as he climbed out of bed and grabbed a shirt from my drawers, offering it to me. “You’re tired, drunk, and you’re upsetting yourself.”

“What’s wrong with my body? Just tell me,” I begged, smacking the shirt out of his hand and motioning down my body.

He finally dropped his gaze, and I hated not knowing what he was thinking as he seemed to take his time assessing me. I almost fell over but he took my arm, meeting my gaze.

“You’re gorgeous, Rae. There’s nothing wrong with your body, I promise.”

“Touch me then,” I challenged, stepping closer.

He bent down and retrieved the shirt on the floor, holding it open and shoving it over my head a little more roughly than necessary.

“I’m not doing this with you. Get in bed and go to sleep.”

His rejection hurt, and I climbed into bed with embarrassment, hating how he was looking at me. I was pretty sure it was the look of pity that you gave a dog just before you put it to sleep.

He climbed in beside me and had no problem pulling me closer now that my body was covered. I stared back at him as he watched me silently, and I enjoyed it way too much when he reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear.

My stupid heart forgot all about his rejection, melting from his soft touch as my bare legs brushed his, and I reached out to press my palm against his naked chest. His heartbeat was rapid under my touch, his voice stern. “Raven?—”

“Let me,” I said softly, tracing his pec with my finger as he continued to watch me.

I traced along his neck and across his jaw, my fingers brushing his bottom lip as he pulled back.

“You need to go to sleep,” he said tensely, going rigid as I shuffled closer. I pressed a kiss to his chest, dragging my lips up to his throat and kissing him there too. My arm slid around his middle and his muscles relaxed a little more as I gently nibbled his neck.

His breathing was loud in the quiet room as I explored his skin with my mouth, my fingers splayed out on his back to keep him close.

“Raven,” he forced out a little more weakly, his hand going to my hip as if to push me back, but he didn’t. If anything, he pulled me closer.

I lifted my head to meet his gaze, finding so much damn lust in his eyes that it almost took my breath away. He was looking at me in the way that he looked at the girls he was fucking, and my ego handled it in the only way I knew how.

I fucking kissed him.

He jerked back in surprise, but I followed him, sliding my hand around the back of his neck to encourage him closer, and I was pretty sure I moaned when he surrendered and kissed me back.

His kisses turned rough, desperate, and needy as his palm cupped my face and his dick dug into my stomach through his boxers, butterflies taking flight inside me as I took his hand and dragged it between my legs.

“Fuck me,” I whispered, those two words acting like icy water over him as his fingers made contact with my bare pussy, and he literally fell out of bed in his escape from me. “What are you?—”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Raven,” he growled, getting to his feet and taking a few steps back from me. “No, we can’t.”

“Why not? You didn’t like it?” I asked quietly, my new ego getting instantly bruised.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you lately, but I’m not fucking you,” he bit out, the words searing me in the chest. “You’re drunk as fuck and don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I do! I want you to fuck me,” I insisted, but he just shook his head.

“I’m sleeping in my room. Stay in here and sleep,” he ordered, storming from the room and slamming the door.

I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt tears drip down my cheeks.

Reid

“Fuck,” I scowled as I stalked into the kitchen for some water, downing a glass and refilling it to drink another. My dick was beyond pissed at me right now, but there was no way I was going to fuck Raven, let alone when she was that drunk.

I shouldn’t have even let her touch me, but her lips on my skin had felt so fucking good.

The front door unlocked and Logan stepped inside with Zavier, both of them going quiet, which told me that I wasn’t keeping my emotions off my face.

“What’s wrong?” Logan asked with a frown, Zavier’s eyes sliding from my tented boxers to the hallway as he spoke too.

“Is Rae in bed?”

I raked my fingers through my hair and sighed, trying to will my damn dick to go down.

“She got wasted off a six pack at the Pit, needed carrying inside from the car, stripped naked and had some kind of meltdown because I wouldn’t look at her, and when I finally wrestled a shirt over her head and got her into bed, she kissed me.”

It was the short version of what happened, but I didn’t want to tell them all the details.

Logan glared at me, his eyes dropping to my dick like it was the enemy. “That better be hard because you walked away and not because the sex was so good that you’re ready for round two.”

“She asked me to fuck her and I bailed,” I muttered, scrubbing a hand over my face. “Devon gave her shit tonight and I think his words mixed with the alcohol are fucking with her. She needs to sleep it off.”

“What did the prick say to her?” Zavier asked, his jaw clenched.

“I didn’t catch all of it. He was propositioning her though, making it out like he’d give her the best sex in the world. Going to the Pit and tagging some walls was supposed to help her, not make things worse. She seems to think she looks like a guy or something since I won’t fuck her.”

“So, you didn’t touch her?” Logan asked, needing to make sure.

“I kissed her back. You try pulling away from that,” I scowled, crossing my arms. “She had her lips all over my neck and shit, dude. It was difficult.”

“How horrible for you. Are you alright?” he deadpanned, his shoulders drooping slightly. “What if you hadn’t been there tonight? She probably would’ve let some dickhead fuck her against their car or something. Go back in there and check on her. Is she okay?”

“I’m not going back in there,” I snorted, and Zavier rolled his eyes as he started walking towards the hallway.

“You’re a prick. Have some fucking willpower. I’ll check on her.”

“Don’t touch her,” I warned, and he flipped me off as he vanished into the dark hallway. I winced when he opened her bedroom door and I could hear her sobbing quietly, guilt slamming into me.

She was crying, great.

“The hell did you say to her?” Logan demanded once we heard the bedroom door close, his gaze returning to me.

“I just told her no. I wasn’t mean about it, but I said I wasn’t going to fuck her. She’s drunk, man. She doesn’t know what she’s asking for.”

“You could’ve at least stayed in there and cuddled her. It’s obvious she’s going through some shit,” he scolded as if I hadn’t noticed the hormonal, angry demon we’d been living with for months.

“If I’d stayed in there, I was going to fuck her. What part of that don’t you guys understand? She was all over me and part of me almost said fuck it. I was so close to ruining everything with her. I left for her sake, not mine,” I argued, relieved when he studied me for a moment before relaxing.

“You have more willpower than me. I probably would’ve bent her over.”

“Logan—”

“I know, I won’t touch her,” he huffed. “We need to figure something out. I really think you need to let her date someone. Pick a nice guy and?—”

“Over my dead body,” I cut in, his eyes narrowing.

“She’s going to fuck someone to spite us soon, and I don’t want to even think about what could happen to her. What if she lets Devon, huh? He won’t be careful and he’ll only send her packing with a pussy full of cum and chlamydia. Do you want that? Help her have safe sex and make sure her first time is good.”

“Josh—”

“I know you promised to look after her, I did too, but even Josh would admit that she’s an adult now. Go to bed. Lopez has her tonight,” he sighed, and part of me almost changed my mind about not sleeping in her room. Zavier had less willpower than I did, but I also trusted him not to fuck her while she was that drunk.

He respected her too much for that.

I nodded, heading to my bedroom and locking myself inside, mentally cursing myself for wanting her lips on my skin again.

Zavier

Raven cried herself to sleep, blubbering about Reid rejecting her and something about her ugly body before passing out against my chest. I had no idea where she got that thought from, she was gorgeous.

Sure, she was a little skinny, but I’d been working on that by feeding her lots of soup. It was cheap to make and store in the freezer, making it the perfect meal.

My hand slid under her shirt to rest on her hip, and I bit back a groan when I realized she didn’t have any panties on.

No wonder Reid struggled to tell her no if she was rubbing up on him like that.

I trailed my hand higher along her side, my fingers brushing against her soft back and making her sigh contently in her sleep, her body arching into me slightly as if to get closer.

I’d stripped down to my boxers, so the wet heat of her pussy against my thigh was really difficult to ignore.

I reminded myself that even if I woke her up and said I’d happily fuck her, she was drunk.

That snapped me out of my creepy touching session as I fixed her shirt and pulled back a little, just in time for Logan to poke his head in.

“Is she okay?” he asked quietly, opening the door wider so the light from the hallway could shine in for him to see her.

“Not really, but she’s finally asleep. Can you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Get her some panties from the drawer,” I said dryly, and he hesitated before doing as I asked. He handed them to me and I untangled myself from her hold, kneeling on the bed beside her and peeling the blanket back.

“Dude, what are you doing?” Logan hissed.

“Look away if her pussy bothers you so much. I need to put them on her because she keeps putting her pussy on my damn thigh,” I huffed, keeping the shirt tugged down to cover her as I slipped her feet through the holes in the panties and slid them up her legs.

I didn’t miss how Logan peeked over as I had to move her shirt out of the way and lift her slightly to get her panties over her butt.

“This is weird,” he mumbled, looking ready to leave, but he didn’t. He shut the door once I had Raven sorted, the room plunging into darkness, and then I heard his clothes rustling as he stripped off to join us.

Raven stirred as he climbed over her, her voice sounding drunker somehow.

“Logan?”

“Go back to sleep,” he murmured, my eyes narrowing in the dark as I swore I heard him kiss her. I had no proof, so I shuffled back into my spot beside her and fixed the blanket, loving how she curled into my chest again as Logan spooned her from behind.

They both fell asleep fast, and it was definitely easier for me to sleep now that her pussy was covered.

That was until Raven started groaning and woke me up again.

“I feel sick.”

“Do you need to throw up?” I asked, flicking the lamp on and looking back at her. She nodded and I stood, helping her out of bed and half carrying her to the bathroom, getting her inside just in time for her to drop to her knees and throw up the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

I managed to get her hair out of the way, holding it in one hand so I could gently rub her back with my free hand. Logan appeared in the doorway with a bottle of water, squatting beside her with a sigh. “When did you eat last?”

“Breakfast,” she rasped out, making me frown. No wonder she felt sick if she’d gotten drunk on an empty stomach.

I glanced at Logan and he gave me a look of understanding, getting to his feet. “You need some toast. I’ll make you some. Keep drinking the water.”

“I don’t want food,” she groaned, gagging at the thought.

“I know, but it will help, trust me,” he answered before leaving the room.

I swore the more water she sipped, the more she threw up, and I cringed as she looked back at me, her face sweaty and her eyes tired.

“Do you want a cool cloth for your face?”

“I want to die. Where’s all our stabby friends when we need them?” she mumbled, making me chuckle as I risked letting her hair go to grab a cloth, soaking it in the sink with cold water. I squatted beside her, patting her clammy face with it.

“You’ll feel better once you eat and take some pain meds. Maybe have a cool shower too, I know that helps me when I’ve drank too much.”

“I just want to go back to sleep. I didn’t even drink much.”

“You’re not used to drinking at all, and you haven't eaten since this morning. Sip the water and let’s get you out to the kitchen for that toast,” I smiled, helping her to her feet and folding the cloth to press it against her forehead. “Hold that there. You’re really warm.”

She did as she was asked, following me out to where Logan had placed a plate of lightly buttered toast with some pain meds.

It took a while for her to eat it, but once she’d managed to keep it down and had taken the pills, we tucked her back into bed between us and she passed out again, making Logan snort.

“Well, I doubt she’ll get drunk again any time soon. So, I guess that's something good that’s come from this.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I mumbled, taking one last glance at her before switching the lamp off and going back to sleep.