The Dragon Queen (Death #4)

14. Calista

Chapter 14

Calista

“ Roooooaaaaaaarrrrrr !”

I jerked awake in the tent and reached for Talon beside me. The war had ended and our enemies had been slain, so I didn’t know who attacked us or why, but I knew a dragon wouldn’t roar in the middle of the night without reason.

When I didn’t feel him, I yanked back the cot like he was somehow hidden underneath it. But I was alone in the tent. Talon had said he would join me when he was ready, but now it seemed like he had never come.

Calista!

Khazmuda, what’s wrong?

Where is Talon?

I—I don’t know.

He’s not with you?

No. He never came to bed ? —

“ Rooooaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr !”

I pulled on my boots and stumbled out of the tent, my knees hitting the grass outside before I regained my balance. Khazmuda, what’s going on?

He’s gone.

Maybe he’s with Ethan or Queen Eldinar ? —

You don’t understand. The fuse that binds us has disappeared.

I looked at the royal grounds without really seeing anything. What does that mean?

I can’t speak to him. I push my mind to his, but there’s nothing there.

But he has the gift. You should still be able to speak with him whether you’re fused or not.

Exactly.

Terror descended upon my shoulders and gnawed at my stomach. Fear latched on to every organ and squeezed.

Which means he’s gone.

It was almost dawn, the sky slowly turning from blue to purple, the stars becoming masked by the light. I moved toward the courtyard to begin my search. Perhaps he was there or in the castle. What does that mean, Khazmuda?

He wouldn’t break our fuse voluntarily, not when it would age him by decades. That means…it was involuntary.

I slowed my pace, unfathomable pain on my shoulders, not wanting to understand his words.

I awoke to a sudden burst of pain. A pain that burned white-hot then disappeared on the wind. It must have come from him.

I looked up and saw Khazmuda fly overhead, rising above the edge of the cliff because he’d slept alone since there wasn’t enough room near the castle. You’re scaring me…

I’m scared too, Calista.

I arrived at the courtyard and searched for his black armor and elegant cape. I expected him to stand before the stakes that had burned his enemies, but he was nowhere in sight. “Talon!” I scanned the area then looked at the front doors to the castle, which were closed without guards posted outside.

I stepped around the stakes and moved to the main path—and then halted.

Upon the ground, he lay on his back, his arms sprawled out around him like he’d fallen without trying to catch himself. Blood dripped to the stone from where he’d struck his head. His eyes were closed as if he’d fallen asleep, but his chest didn’t rise as he drew breath.

I sucked in a harsh breath as I immediately burst into tears. But I remained stuck in place as the shock immobilized me. It felt like a bad dream, the kind that would make me jerk awake and reach for him, but the dream never faded. The nightmare continued with no end in sight.

“Talon…” When I accepted the sight before me, I rushed to him and dropped to my knees. One hand went to his chest, while the other went to his neck, searching for a pulse, hoping I would feel his chest rise with his next breath.

But he was cold to the touch…like he’d been there a while.

Tears poured down my face as the horror sank into my flesh. I gasped for breath then let out a shriek of grief. “No!” I gave him a hard shake, like that would somehow undo whatever evil had happened here. “Talon!”

The ground trembled when Khazmuda landed beside me. His head immediately dropped down, and his snout grazed against Talon’s cheek. He gave Talon’s body a shake before he looked at his closed eyes, as if that would wake him up.

“I don’t understand…”

I sat there and panted in anguish, crying and screeching, not knowing what to do except writhe in indescribable pain. I knew the truth because it looked me right in the face, but I refused to accept the unacceptable.

Khazmuda stilled as he looked down at Talon, looking at his white-as-snow face. Then a giant tear streaked down his snout and splattered on Talon’s chest plate before it ran down his sides like rain.

“It’s dented …” I pressed my hand to his chest and felt the way the dragon armor had been caved in. Pieces were also melted, like a white-hot fire had been pressed directly against it.

Khazmuda remained, more tears splashing onto Talon and soaking into his cape and clothing. He breathed harder, unusual noises coming from his snout, and that was when I knew he was crying.

“I—I don’t understand,” I said through my tears. “What happened?”

Khazmuda trembled as he cried, quietly shrieking like a hurt dog as his tears splashed over Talon. He dipped his head and let it rest against Talon, eyes closed as more tears broke through his closed rids and soaked Talon’s clothing.

I panted until I lost breath, the horror of reality too much for my broken heart to bear. “I—I don’t understand.” I didn’t know what else to say, didn’t know why I continued to speak at all, wasn’t even aware of what I was saying. Someone had slain Talon…and it looked like he didn’t even put up a fight.

Khazmuda pulled his head back then released an anguished roar, different from his battle cries and expressions of rage. It was a cry of agony, so loud it made my ears ring. “ Rooooooaaaaaarrrrrrr !”

“No…” My hand went to Talon’s heart, praying that it would beat again, that this wasn’t real…that it couldn’t be real.

Everything was a blur from that moment on. Others came to see the spectacle, and Queen Eldinar and Uncle Ezra examined Talon’s body and made the same conclusion—that he was really gone.

When Ethan arrived, he looked upon Talon’s body then gave a slight shake of his head. He didn’t grieve for his friend the way Khazmuda and I did. He held his silence and stepped away, looking out over the city with glazed eyes.

I wanted to run from reality, but I didn’t want to leave Talon’s side, protecting him in death even though someone unalive couldn’t be hurt. I felt no desire for revenge because a person’s execution wouldn’t bring back the person he’d killed.

Khazmuda lay upon the stone with his chin on the ground, crying on and off, not saying a word to me or anyone else. Other dragons would come to console him, to rub their snouts against him, but he wouldn’t react to their touch.

His mind was elsewhere.

I sat there upon the stone, feeling more helpless than I ever had in my life. When I’d fled Scorpion Valley, I’d thought I was running toward something better. When I’d fled the Arid Sands, I’d thought life would get better on the other side. But now that I’d lost Talon…life would never get better.

The first real happiness I’d ever had was taken from me.

It was senseless and unexpected. He feared the battle would claim his life, but he survived a war and achieved all of his dreams…just to be killed by an unknown foe in the end. It decimated me. I sat upon the ground with my arms around my knees, unable to look at Talon’s dead body anymore.

My uncle came to me, taking a knee beside me as his hand went to my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Calista.”

I didn’t look at him or acknowledge his words. I didn’t want condolences for an event I refused to believe had happened in the first place. I didn’t want pity because that would make it real. Khazmuda and I were equally eviscerated by this, but we neither spoke nor looked at each other.

My uncle sat with me for a long time and didn’t say anything else.

Eventually, Queen Eldinar approached, and my uncle silently excused himself.

I didn’t look at her. Kept my eyes on the ground. The flood of tears had caused a pounding headache in my temples, but that didn’t stop new tears from coming. Drops formed in the creases then slowly dripped down my face.

Queen Eldinar offered no words of solace. She didn’t place her hand on mine. She just sat there with me, feeling the pain with me.

I looked at Khazmuda, who continued to sniffle on and off, releasing quiet whines like a dog that didn’t know how else to express his grief.

She continued to sit there.

When the battle was over, I was excited for the future. Whether we lived here or in the north, I would be happy as long as I had Talon and Khazmuda. Whether he asked me to marry him now or in five years, it didn’t matter. I looked forward to the day we had children, when I could give him a child to fill that void in his heart.

But all of that had been taken from me—and it was fucking cruel. “I don’t know what happened.”

She remained quiet.

“I—I just don’t understand.”

She looked at Khazmuda, his tears like diamonds against his scales. “I’m sorry—for both of you.”

My lips trembled as new tears dripped down my cheeks.

“Neither of you deserves this. Talon doesn’t deserve it either.”

“I—I don’t know what to do.” He was my home, the place I belonged when we had no shelter. Whether we were in Shadow Stone or Riviana Star or in the middle of nowhere, he was my home. Without him, I had no purpose or motivation.

“You still have Khazmuda, Calista. Not that he could ever replace what you lost.”

Tears continued to drip to my lips.

“You always have a home with us in Riviana Star. You’re always one of us.”

I wiped away the tears with my palm.

“We would be honored to bury him in our cemetery. Beside honorable kings and queens. As the savior of our forest, he’s earned a place there. Unless you think he’d rather remain here with his ancestors.”

“If he stays here, I can’t visit him.” It was a selfish thought, but I couldn’t live on the other side of the world while his grave remained behind. The Southern Isles was a beautiful place, but without Talon, I felt no love for it.

“Then he’ll join us.”

I’d gone to sleep wondering where we would wed and what I would wear. And when I woke up, I planned his burial.

“Perhaps you could fuse with Khazmuda. That way, he feels less alone.”

I looked at Khazmuda, who continued to stare at the stone beneath his chin, looking as devastated as I felt. “Maybe…”

“I am here for you always, Calista. Whatever you need, I will grant it.”

I turned to look at her for the first time, to see the same stoicism that she always wore. “I’m surprised you’re not more upset about all of this. The two of you were close.”

Her blue eyes remained locked on mine for seconds before she looked away. “When you’ve lived as long as I have, you become used to death. I’ve lost a lot of people I’ve cared for—and I will continue to lose people I care for.”

I accepted her answer and looked away.

She sat with me for a while longer before she left.

One of the guards built me a bonfire outside my tent. I sat in front of it alone, wounded by the memory of all the times I’d sat in front of a fire with Talon, staring at him across the flames. Our deepest conversations had happened in moments such as this.

Now, there was no one there.

Khazmuda drenched Talon’s body in tears to preserve him, and then Talon was placed in a coffin, sealed to carry back across the sea. There was no reason for Queen Eldinar and the elves to stay here, and the rest of the soldiers ached for home. There was no monarch in the Southern Isles to rule the people. They would have to choose a new king to usher in a new era.

Khazmuda lay nearby, his scales glowing in the fire.

I looked at him, seeing misery on an expressionless face. “Khazmuda…” My voice cracked when I spoke, drenched in pain and tears.

His eyes shifted to me.

“Queen Eldinar suggested we fuse together.” It was the first time Khazmuda was unattached in many decades, and the silence must feel deafening. I felt alone too, and the only one who carried the same misery was him. “That way, we can at least be together in this.”

His eyes continued to watch me. He hadn’t said a word to anyone, including me.

“We don’t have to do it. It’s just an idea.”

I’ll think about it.

I didn’t push the topic, because Khazmuda’s presence wouldn’t be enough to make me feel better anyway. “Okay.”

We prepared to depart the Southern Isles, pack the ship with all the essentials we would need for the return journey. Now that Talon was gone, there wasn’t a king of Shadow Stone and the Northern Kingdoms, so I wasn’t sure what would happen to those lands.

I could reclaim my throne over Scorpion Valley, but my heart had no desire to rule, no desire to take back the lands that had belonged in my family for generations. Without the love of my life to share it with me, I lacked the motivation for anything and everything.

Inferno appeared before me on the cliff, his scales scarred and mutilated from the battle, a hole punctured in one of his wings. He could fly, but not for great distances because he easily lost his balance and nearly toppled.

“I’m sorry I haven’t checked on you.” I knew Macabre had done his best to heal him, but after Talon passed away, I’d completely forgotten him. I loved Inferno deeply, but I’d stopped caring about everything.

I FEEL NO GRUDGE TOWARD YOU, CALISTA. GRIEF HAS SWALLOWED YOU WHOLE.

I gave a slight nod and felt the burn behind my eyes.

I DIDN’T CARE FOR TALON IN THE BEGINNING, BUT HE PROVED HIMSELF TO BE A RIGHTEOUS KING. I WILL HONOR HIM FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE.

“He—he was the best man I ever knew.”

HE WAS. WE’RE FREE BECAUSE OF HIM. I’VE FOUND MY SISTER BECAUSE OF HIM .

“That makes me happy…” As happy as I could be at the moment.

KHAZMUDA SAID YOU’RE RETURNING TO RIVIANA STAR .

I nodded.

I DON’T WANT TO BE APART FROM YOU, BUT MY HOME IS HERE. WE HAVE A WORLD TO REBUILD .

“This is where you belong, Inferno. Please be happy. Perhaps we’ll see each other again…someday.” I should be devastated by this separation, but I couldn’t feel more anguish than I already did. There was simply no more room in my broken body.

I HOPE SO, PRETTY. YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

“Talon saved your life.”

THAT DRAGON WOULD HAVE SLAUGHTERED ME IF HE’D STRUCK ME JUST ONCE MORE. YOU TOOK ON ASTAROTH ON YOUR OWN, KNOWING YOU WOULDN’T DEFEAT HIM. YOU HAVE MORE THAN JUST THE BLOOD OF DRAGONS, BUT ALSO THE COURAGE .

“That’s nice of you to say.” And it would have meant a lot more if anything meant anything anymore.

He dropped his snout and rubbed it against me, letting me feel the smooth scales touch my skin and hair. A quiet breath escaped his nostrils, what I interpreted as a sigh. UNTIL NEXT TIME.

“Until next time.”

He stepped away and gave me a final look. I’M VERY SORRY THAT YOU LOST YOUR MATE.

I’d heard a lot of apologies the last few days, but that one hurt far more than the others. It made tears spring to my eyes and burn like fire. “Thank you.”

KING CONSTANTINE WISHES TO SPEAK WITH YOU. He opened his wings and struggled to fly, the opening in his wing making it hard for him to lift his weight and reach the sky. But he succeeded after a brief struggle and glided away.

King Constantine, King of Dragons, took Inferno’s place shortly after he left, a dragon far bigger than all the others, even Khazmuda. He landed with a thud so powerful it made the cliff shake, made the castle shift. He was a beautiful dragon with scales so brilliant it seemed like someone had scrubbed them clean. He folded his wings and held himself with stiffness, just the way a man carried himself with a straight spine to balance a crown upon his head. After he regarded me, he craned his neck to dip his head low enough for our eyes to meet.

I could not let you leave without, first, expressing my gratitude for everything you’ve done for my kin, and second, paying my condolences for your loss. I didn’t know Talon Rothschild well, only spoke with his father briefly, but I do remember the sight of him once before at court. A handsome young man with so much potential—potential he fulfilled in his short life. Because of him and Khazmuda, my mind and body are free from the ruthless enslavement by dark beings. It’s sad to know that I lost so many decades of life, but I’m also grateful I don’t remember a moment of it. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.

I stood before the mightiest of dragons, his voice carrying wisdom that I’d never heard from another being, and while the meeting was a pleasure, I really couldn’t savor it. “Even though Talon lost his life as a consequence of the battle, I know this is what he wanted. He wanted the dragons to be free—and that will be his undying legacy.”

A legacy that you will carry in your heart for as long as you live. A legacy that every living dragon will carry with us forevermore. Talon Rothschild will be a hero whose name will be remembered as long as we remain in these lands. I’m sorry for your loss, but you should be proud of the man you loved.

“I am.” I felt the hot tears pool in the corners of my eyes.

What I wouldn’t give to cure your grief. You’re so brave for such a small person.

“He made me brave.” He made me the woman I was today. Not a victim, but a survivor. Not a damsel, but a warrior.

I hope you find peace, Calista Laurier—in time.

“I—I don’t know if I ever will. I loved him so much…” The tears came free and streaked down my cheeks, my sorrow exploding like fire. A fire that destroyed everything in its path. Even a winter rain couldn’t douse it. I grieved like a widow who had lost her husband of forty years, who’d lost the father of her children, but I’d known him for such a brief amount of time.

Constantine dipped his head lower so our eyes were level. If we truly love someone once, we always love them. A paradoxical comfort… If it always hurts, then you always know that love was real.

I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing, forcing the tears to abate so I could continue the conversation. “I’m sorry.”

Never apologize for feeling what you feel when you feel it. We lost many dragons in the battle, and I’m not ashamed of the many tears I’ve shed. Evil came to these lands and tarnished two beautiful races. It will take a very long time for us to heal and flourish once more. We will progress at our own pace, and one day, we will be whole.

“I’ll never be whole without him.”

His large eyes focused on mine. Then one day, you’ll learn how to be whole as a half.