Duncan’s Honor (The Aegis Network: Jacksonville Division #7)

Chapter 1

1

“ H ey, wait up.”

Chastity Jade glanced over her shoulder, trying not to trip in her three-inch heels as she stumbled down the road headed toward home just a few blocks away. Spiked shoes were not her thing. Nor were dresses. It had less to do with being a tomboy her entire life, and more to do with her lack of grace.

Klutzbutt, as her family called her.

Sometimes she really missed the simplicity of her childhood. Even with all the rules and expectations that came with growing up in such a tight religious community, there had been something to be said for the safety and security it had once provided.

Where the big bad world, as her mother described anything beyond their farm, could cause her heart such grief and chaos.

Still, she wouldn’t trade the life she’d come to know for what she’d left behind.

“You shouldn’t be walking home alone,” Duncan Booker, a fellow firefighter, called out as he jogged across the street. His suit coat was draped over his shoulder, his tie pulled loose, and the first two buttons of his shirt were undone.

A warm shiver glazed over her body like soapy shower water. Duncan should be the front cover for the fireman puppy calendar.

And he’d made for a damn sexy groomsman, even though the wedding had been small, only consisting of what Buddy and Kaelie considered family and those they worked with at the fire station and the Aegis Network.

“Because our neighborhood is so dangerous,” she said with an eye roll, waiting for him to catch up. She’d tried to get the man’s attention for the past six months or so. Every once in a while, she thought she might have succeeded, but tonight, when he brushed her off, she’d finally had to admit defeat.

He just wasn’t that into her, and she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. They both had exes that they constantly talked about, making it hard to draw the line between friendship and flirting. At first, she thought they were bonding over a shared experience. She used it as something to bring them closer together. When that didn’t work, she tried not talking about her ex, but all Duncan seemed to be able to chat her up about was exactly that.

Or his stupid-ass ex-girlfriend.

It really was time to wave the white flag, which is exactly what she’d done when she’d slipped out of the party right after he’d refused to even give her one slow dance.

So why the hell was he chasing her down now?

“I’ve watched you fall three times tonight without having any alcohol, and now that you’ve had a few drinks? Well, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” She couldn’t wait to kick the damn things off, drop the dress, and put on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. She felt totally out of her element. “I let Rex’s wife, Tilly, do my makeup. I look like a damn clown.”

“Not even close. You look quite pretty, though you don’t need the makeup. You’re beautiful no matter what.”

“Why, Duncan Booker, are you giving me a compliment? Or are you just drunk?” As long as she’d known the man, he’d waffled between being sweet and flirty and practically ignoring her.

“You dress up real nice.” He took his coat and wrapped it over her bare shoulders. The temperature had dropped, but chilly was still at least ten degrees away.

Slipping her hands through the sleeves, she glanced into his russet eyes, and her heel twisted, causing her body to shift as her ankle gave way.

“Shit,” she muttered, grabbing his thick biceps before she face-planted on the asphalt.

He laughed. “Hop on.” He stepped in front of her, offering her a piggyback ride.

“What are we, twelve?”

“Just do it before you break your leg.”

She hiked up her dress and jumped on his back with more gusto than she planned. He stumbled before his fingers curled around her thighs, digging into her bare skin, sending warm pulses to all the places that made her a woman.

His dark hair smelled like coconut, and she wanted to ruffle it. What the hell? It was always too perfect anyway. She dug her nails in and gave the strands a good tug.

“Hey. Not the hair. It takes a lot to get it to look this good.”

“You do have great hair.” She rested her chin on his shoulder and let out a long breath. Working with him had been easy. He always treated her with respect. He never made her feel as though she didn’t fit in because she was a woman. Or because she was younger than most of the guys. Not one time did he ever try to do things for her or expect she couldn’t handle something because of her sex. However, outside of work, they could be awkward in each other’s presence. For her, it was all the pent-up raw sexual desire that he brought out.

She had no idea what his problem was since he often acted like she had the plague.

The warm Florida air tickled her pores. The white full moon glowed high. The stars filled the sky in abundance. She took in a deep breath and let her eyelids drift shut. “It was a nice wedding.”

“Romantic, small, and quiet,” he said. “Very fitting for the bride and groom.”

“I can’t get over how much Buddy’s twin sister is like him. It’s weird.” She opted to divert the conversation from anything having to do with romance, even though she was the one who brought it up.

“Try dating her.” He cocked his head, catching her gaze.

A hum filled her throat. If there were ever a perfect specimen of a man, it would be Duncan. He might as well have been a Greek god at five-eleven of solid muscle, tan skin, smoky eyes, and a devilish smile.

Okay. She had most definitely consumed one too many drinks tonight.

“You dated Kelly?” she asked. “And Buddy let you live to tell the tale?”

Duncan laughed. “I took her out a couple of times and while she’s a great girl, she’s way too much like my best friend, and it just got all mucky.”

“Mucky?” She adjusted herself on his back, draping her arms over his shoulders. “That kind of word only comes out of your mouth when you’re buzzed.”

“Speaking of which, do you have any beer at your place? I’m going to need to quench my thirst after hiking you all the way home. You’re heavier than you look.”

She slapped the back of his head. “That’s just mean.”

“I was kidding. Well, not about the beer.”

For the next block, they remained silent. She concentrated on the night sounds of crickets and an owl hooting in the distance instead of the sexy man who carried her down the street. At twenty-six, she had her entire life ahead of her, and it wasn’t that she was in a rush, but she wanted it all. Career, kids, the whole ball of wax, and she wanted it sooner rather than later. The one thing she took from being raised a Mennonite was a strong sense of family.

The rest of it, she’d turned her back on when she left home at age eighteen, something she worried her parents might never truly forgive her for. It wasn’t just that she chose to leave her roots behind. Being the oldest, it seemed she inspired curiosity in her younger siblings.

“Keys?” Duncan asked, snapping her mind back to the present.

“Here.” She pulled them from her clutch, wondering why he didn’t just set her down on the stoop. Instead, he carried her into the kitchen, where he set her ass on the counter, then turned, his body snug between her legs. Every muscle tightened with pure delight, but he was just being nice.

Yeah. That had to be it.

Duncan had no interest in her because his heart still belonged to his ex.

And something about being too old. But that was something he’d let slip one night months ago after a few drinks and stroll through the hood.

“Let’s get these off your feet before you kill yourself.” Gently, he lifted her leg, his fingers sizzling across her ankles as he slipped the black heels from her feet.

She tried not to moan, but her vocal cords defied her wishes. “What are you doing?” she asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist, his hands running over the top of her ass.

She should have asked herself the same question when she purposely placed her hands on his broad shoulders, arching her back. While she felt the alcohol, she wasn’t so drunk that she didn’t understand the vibe she sent Duncan.

Only, she’d been sending it for months, and he had ignored it all but maybe a half dozen times and one kiss.

Just one. But it knocked her socks off.

“Something I probably shouldn’t be doing,” he whispered, leaning in, brushing his lips over her mouth.

She closed her eyes and sucked in his tongue, swirling it around with hers, throwing caution to the wind. She hadn’t come this far in life without taking risks.

Unfortunately, he pulled away. “We work together, which complicates things and you’re so young.”

“Me being ten years younger bothers you?”

“Try almost thirteen and it’s not that as much as the fact that your ex always shows up in different places, and you don’t seem to turn him away.” Duncan arched a brow.

She cocked her head. “Seriously? You’re going to bring him up while my legs are wrapped around your waist.” Before he could back away, she locked her ankles together, pulling him closer.

He groaned.

“You either want me, or you don’t,” she said, wishing she’d kept her mouth shut because it didn’t sound sexy at all. “And don’t use my age as an excuse again. I’m not a child.”

“Oh, I want you all right. But I don’t know if I can give you more than a good time, and I’m not into being with someone else’s?—”

She covered his mouth. “You watched me toss him out on his ass a few months ago, and that was the last time he showed up. Why are you using that as an excuse to walk out that door?”

Only, she knew the answer, and her name was Robin. Duncan had been head over heels in love and wanted the world with her, but Robin broke his heart into a million pieces.

His thick lashes fluttered over his whiskey-colored eyes. He opened his mouth and shut it at least five times.

“Look, I’m not asking for anything.” She hoped her voice hadn’t trembled like her insides. “But a good time.” What a lie. However, if she couldn’t have him forever, one night might get him out of her system.

“Chastity, I should go.”

She cupped his face. “Why are you still pining over Robin? What made her so special? Tell me.” She bit down on her lower lip. Clumsy and diarrhea of the mouth. Not a good combination. “Why can’t you get over her?” She had no right to get up in his face, which certainly wouldn’t help her get him in bed. “Forget it. You’re right. This was a bad idea.” She unclasped her legs, dropping her hands to the countertop. “Thanks for walking me home. I appreciate it.”

“For your information, I’m over Robin. That’s not the problem here.” Holding her gaze, he leaned closer. His hot breath scorched her skin. “You’re a good person. Kind. Sweet. Even if something were to happen, it would only be one time. Are you prepared for that?”

“You’re the one who chased me down the street.”

He traced her lower lip with his thumb. “You’d been dropping hints all night. I was just responding to that.”

“Duncan. No offense, but I can’t say that I’m looking for a serious relationship. Been there, done that, not ready to rinse, wash, and repeat.”

He took her legs and wrapped them around him again as his mouth crash-landed on hers. Their teeth smacked as their tongues twisted and turned over each other. His hands groped at her dress, tugging at the zipper in the back. She wiggled out of his coat and pulled at his tie, desperate to feel his bare skin.

She didn’t care about anything other than being in his arms. If this was all she would get, then she’d manage to live with that.

Or at least that is what she told herself.

As he lifted her off the counter, she let the dress the pool at her feet. She stood before him in nothing but a tiny yellow thong. She’d never been ashamed of her body, but in that moment, the urge to cover up forced her hands to cup her breasts. She didn’t know why. He stared at her with adoring eyes as he undressed, eagerly tossing his shirt to the table and kicking out of his pants before taking her into his arms.

“You’re so pretty,” he murmured, circling his fingers around her wrists and tugging her hands from her chest. “You’re amazing just as you are.”

His hands glided up and down her back while his lips burned tiny kisses on her neck, making his way to her breasts.

She gasped as he took her tight nipple into his mouth. Her breath came in short, choppy pants. She’d fantasized many times about what it would be like to be with Duncan and not even one had her reeling like this. His touch was both gentle and scorching. He made her feel like she was the only woman in the universe for him, which was crazy.

This would be one night. And then she’d have to pretend like it meant nothing.

He looked up at her as he dotted her belly with sweet kisses, his fingers rolling her panties over her hips. “You’re special, Chastity, and you deserve better than me.”

She hadn’t time to ask what the hell he meant by that as he hoisted her back onto the counter and kissed her intimately. His velvet tongue glided over her, and in her in a way, no one else had ever touched her. It was soft yet carried the pressure to take her to new heights.

Threading her fingers through his hair, she pressed her heels into his shoulders. She watched him with awe, enjoying every lap of his tongue and stroke of his fingers.

“Duncan,” she whispered, tugging at his head. Her body quivered.

But he didn’t take heed. No. He dug in deeper. Harder. Faster.

She couldn’t fill her lungs with enough air. They burned with every sharp breath. When she’d first left her community, the idea of having sex before marriage had still been a foreign concept. It hadn’t been until she’d turned twenty that she even considered it.

It hadn’t gone quite as planned, but at least the young man she’d been with had done his best to make it comfortable. They dated for a few months, but she didn’t love him.

But she did love Duncan.

Over the years, she had a few lovers and a few long-term relationships with fantastic sex, but no one made her feel like Duncan right now in this moment. It was as if he worshipped her body like a temple, his only focus on her pleasure.

Her stomach trembled on the verge of release. She tried to hold back, savoring the sensations as every cell erupted like a massive volcano.

“Oh God,” she said with a throaty moan, her thighs clamping down over his face as her body jerked. Before she knew what hit her, he’d lifted her from the counter as he sat in one of the kitchen table chairs, lowering her over him. “Oh my God.” He slid inside like he was made just for her. Rocking back and forth, she kissed him, tasting herself on his sweet lips. She rolled her hips over him, desperate to please him.

He held on to her hips, pushing her back and forth in the same desperation. Their mouths joined much in the same way as their bodies moved against each other in the heat of raw passion. His hands roamed her skin, molding her muscles as if she were wet clay waiting to be transformed into art.

The orgasm building inside promised to rock her wildly, sending her to a place she’d only dreamed about.

With Duncan.

And now it was happening for real.

She wanted to pinch herself.

He buried his face in her neck, nibbling at her earlobe, whispering her name as he groaned and grunted, and then something akin to a low howl echoed in her ears.

Even her wildest fantasy hadn’t come close to what he did to her body, mind, and soul.

“Duncan,” she cried out, digging her fingernails into his muscles. Thank God they were cut short, or she might have drawn blood. Her moans filled the air like a foghorn on the river. Loud and proud.

He cupped her ass, holding her still.

Neither one could catch their breath as their chests heaved into each other, clashing like waves smashing on the beach. She rested her head on his broad shoulder, trying to calm her pulse. Her legs squeezed around his waist, and she needed to hold on to him for a bit longer.

For the next five minutes, he showered her cheek and neck with soft kisses while his fingers danced up and down her spine in a loving caress. It was so tender she thought that perhaps he cared a little more than just a man and a woman sharing a night of the purest form of sexual release.

But as loving as he was, he also began to pull away—not physically but emotionally and mentally. She could tell by the way his body tensed and his touch changed to what felt like an obligation, not a man caving to a woman’s desire.

Buddy had warned her that he might push her away if she continued to pursue him. He'd been distant with everyone ever since he and Robin broke up.

Hell, her entire team had warned her that Robin had messed him up so badly that he might never recover.

But no one would tell her why.

What the hell had he just done?

Chastity deserved someone who could give her everything she wanted, and Duncan wasn’t that man.

Not now. Perhaps never. No matter how much he cared about her, his heart still ached for what he might have lost. He couldn’t explain the pain that had wormed its way into his soul, but it was wedged so deep he couldn’t see past it.

And he’d tried.

He wanted to allow himself to move from the past and into the present, but every time he tried, what happened smacked his memory like a speeding bullet. It was a relentless assault and now he’d pulled one of the sweetest women he knew into battle.

Fuck. If he listened closely to himself, he’d realize how much better off he was without Robin and her lies.

Yet he wasn’t sure Chastity was what he needed.

Still, he’d made love to her anyway.

If you could call what they did in her kitchen making love . No, that was more like desperate fucking by two insanely horny people who didn’t think through the ramifications of what would happen next.

He hiked up his pants, staring at her wearing only his dress shirt, leaning against the very counter he’d given her the first orgasm. It was hard to bite back a smile remembering it, but it immediately turned into a frown. He turned, and his mood soured even more as he stared at an image of her dick ex-boyfriend.

Over him? Duncan thought not. Well, at least he didn’t have to worry about her getting hung up him. That should make him feel better, but it didn’t.

“You’re regretting this, aren’t you?” she asked.

He had to credit her for sounding confident and strong when asking such a question.

Shifting his gaze, he threaded his fingers through his hair. “No. I don’t think I could regret that, but?—”

“The word but implies regret.” She folded her arms over her chest, crossing her ankles.

God, the woman had some serious sex appeal. But what killed him was how intelligent and kind she was—always giving of herself to everyone. He wished he could get his head out of his ass. If he could ever love another woman again, it would be someone like Chastity.

No. It would be Chastity.

Only, she was in love with someone else, a point driven home by that damn picture.

And his heart hardened and twisted just thinking about ever trusting another woman again.

“It’s not regret. But you and I aren’t a good idea. Working together could be tough, and I hope it won’t be awkward for either of us two days from now.”

“That’s not your problem, and it’s just an excuse.”

He arched his brow. “And what exactly is my problem, then?”

“You’re afraid. I get it, so am I.”

“The only thing I’m afraid of is that you’re not over him.” He pointed to the picture on the counter.

“I’m so over him.”

“Then why is the picture still there?” Jesus. Now he sounded like a goddamn jealous boyfriend.

“It’s a good one of me and my siblings, and I didn’t feel like cutting the asshole out, ruining a perfect picture.”

That was a fair enough response. Only, he had a few good ones of him, Robin, and his buddies, and he wasn’t displaying them in his house anymore.

“But since we’re on the subject, the real reason you don’t want to take a chance on me is you’re afraid I’ll turn out just like Robin. What the hell did she do to you?”

He closed his eyes, taking a deep calming breath. He repeated that five times before blinking. “I’m sorry. You are a special woman and someday your prince will come, but it’s not me.”

“Now you’re just being a dick.”

He let out a sarcastic laugh. “Maybe. But I’m being honest. I like you. And if I thought things wouldn’t get weird, I’d say let’s do it again. But I don’t want to hurt you, and in the end, that’s what will happen.”

“I believe only half of that. The rest is you’re afraid I’ll hurt you. Well, I’m not Robin and while I have no idea what she did, I highly doubt I’d be the kind of girl to do it. But if you want to go on as if this didn’t happen, then I can do that.” She shrugged, but he noticed she had a difficult time swallowing.

Yeah, he was an asshole for hurting her like this, but if he didn’t do it now, letting it drag on for a couple of dates or a few months, it would make more than his and her life hell.

It would make everyone else at the station house go bonkers and he couldn’t have that.

He scratched his chest, feeling the sharp squeezing pain he had every time he thought about the baby Robin had aborted.

Only this time, the cause of the pain had been his inability to get close to Chastity. He’d been thinking about her for months and always enjoyed her company, but no matter how much he wanted her, his heart wouldn’t allow anyone in, not even her.

“I’m sorry, Chastity. I really am.”

“I know,” she said. “Let me go get some clothes on and I’ll give you your shirt back.”

He stood in the middle of the kitchen as she disappeared into the bedroom. He wouldn’t be there when she returned.

Hopefully, they could put this in the past and remain friends.

He slipped from her house into the night, resigned that he’d spend the rest of his life alone.

“I’m not pining for her,” he whispered. “I’m pining for the child I thought I’d have.”