Duncan’s Honor (The Aegis Network: Jacksonville Division #7)

Chapter 4

4

D uncan swigged his beer and stared at Chastity while she chatted with Maren, Tilly, Dixie, and Kaelie. It had been a little over a week since he and Chastity had come to their agreement and he’d been nothing short of miserable. He did his best to hide his emotions from everyone. He joked and laughed and tried to act like himself, but it had become impossible.

Chastity had gotten under his skin, and he didn’t know how to rid himself of these emotions.

The only problem was nothing had changed because every time he thought about acting on them, fucking Robin and what she had done popped into his brain like a damn nightmare. Intellectually, he knew Chastity wasn’t Robin, and Chastity had a different moral compass. She wouldn’t do what Robin had, even under the worst of circumstances. At least not in the same way.

But Duncan still couldn’t get it out of his brain.

“Hey, man.” Buddy eased into the chair beside him and clanked his beer against Duncan’s. “You’ve been awfully quiet today.”

“Just tired,” Duncan said. “I worked a detail yesterday for the Aegis Network right after a shift. It wasn’t a tough detail. But I haven’t slept much in three days and I’m looking forward to crashing after this little party is over.”

“Are you sure that’s all this is?”

Duncan let out a short laugh before chugging his beer. “If one more person brings up what they think is going on, I’m going to haul off and punch them right between the eyes.”

“I get it.” Buddy nodded. “But it’s me. Not everyone else. I know the whole sordid tale and will call it like I see it. You’re holding on to what Robin did simply because you’re afraid to feel something real again.” Buddy pointed to where Chastity sat with the other ladies in Arthur’s backyard. “And that woman makes you feel things that scare the crap out of you.”

“I’m not having this fucking conversation again. Not with you. Not with anyone.”

Buddy sighed. “Have it your way.” He stood. “But she’s not going wait around forever for you to get your head out of your ass.” He stuck his free hand in his pocket and made his way toward where Rex and Kent stood.

Chastity rose, holding her glass of wine, and padded in his direction. She plopped down in the chair and let out a groan. “So, is everyone giving you the business? Or is it just me?”

He burst out laughing.

“I don’t find it funny.”

“I don’t either. It’s just the way you said it and your timing.”

“At least we can laugh at it now.”

“I’ll cheers to that.” He clanked his beer against her glass. “What are people saying to you?”

“They want to know if I put you in a foul mood.” She held his stare. “I honestly don’t know how to respond to that. For the last ten days we’ve kept each other at a safe distance when we’re not at the station. At gatherings, we tend not to hang out and people have noticed. We don’t run together anymore, which I honestly miss. Something has to give and I guess it starts right now.”

He chuckled. He’d always enjoyed this side of Chastity. Being confident had been a struggle for her and he understood why. He respected it. He only wished that she could be this way all the time. “I’ve got another assignment with the Aegis Network. It will take me away for a few days, but when I return, we can start running together again. Things can go back to the way they were before.” He nearly choked on the last word. He was no longer sure he could do that. Or that he even wanted to.

But this wasn’t the time or place to change the narrative he’d been spinning. He needed some space to think and he couldn’t do that while she was so close. Being on a mission would give him that distance to sort through his thoughts. To deal with the things that prevented him from moving forward with his life.

To rid his heart and soul of the darkness Robin had left him with and maybe then he could allow Chastity in before it was too late.

“I’d really like that,” Chastity said. “I’ve missed my friend. My confidant.”

“I’ve missed you too.” He reached for her hand but jerked it away.

No more random touching.

He needed to respect that.

For now.

Once he had his head clear, he’d form a plan. But he couldn’t do that while still grappling with the earthquake that had left him heartbroken. Chastity deserved better and if he were to give this any chance, he owed it to her to be a whole man.

“When do you leave for your assignment?”

“Tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be gone for three or four days. Could be shorter. I’ll text you updates.”

“Just like old times.” She smiled.

“No. New times.” With more resolve than he’d had in a long time, he vowed to himself he’d be a new man when he returned.