Eclipse Sector (V-Clan #3)

16. Cillian

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CILLIAN

Ivana’s ability to challenge me drove me mad in the best and worst ways.

“You’re a coward.”

Those three words haunted me. I’d witnessed the sudden understanding in her features as she’d voiced that statement. She hadn’t meant the proclamation to be cruel; she’d simply been vocalizing a realization.

And it was a realization I did not like.

Not one fucking bit.

Because a small part of me was now whispering, Is she right? Am I coward?

Ivana seemed to think so, and that belief was changing everything. I could see it in her eyes, the way she seemed to look at me now. It’d all changed in a blink, the natural glow of intrigue disappearing from her gaze as a disappointed glimmer took its place.

My stomach twisted.

I didn’t appreciate this change. It bothered me almost as much as watching her date other Alphas.

What happens when that amorous glitter appears for one of them? I wondered, a growl building in my chest.

A base part of me understood that this had all been tolerable because despite everything, deep down, Ivana had still wanted me.

That had appealed to me on a level I hadn’t fully analyzed, which naturally made me an asshole. I couldn’t push her away while secretly being pleased that she never left.

Fuck.

Ivana sighed, her gaze leaving mine. I felt that departure deep in my soul, this moment profound in a way that had my wolf pacing inside me.

If I left her now, it would be the end.

She’d finally be free of her crush.

And I would be alone.

For good.

“I need to get ready for my date with Prince Cael,” Ivana said softly, her demeanor and tone confirming my fears.

She shifted sideways, attempting to free herself from my grasp. My hands automatically tightened around her in response, my body refusing to let her go.

This… this can’t be the end.

She’s mine.

She’s not.

She is .

The voices warred in my head, the thoughts swirling in a cacophony of insanity. This Omega… this woman… Ivana…

“ Fuck ,” I breathed. My grip in her hair forced her head back once more, causing her gaze to clash with mine. “I’m not afraid, Ivana. Not… not in the way you think. I… I made a vow to myself over a thousand years ago to never take a mate. To never be my father. To ensure his line ended… with me.”

It was more than I’d ever voiced aloud to anyone.

Oh, Kieran no doubt knew. Lorcan, too.

But I’d never vocalized my intentions to them.

However, Ivana… I wanted her to understand. To not see me as a coward. To realize that I was trying to protect her— from me .

“He was a tyrant,” I told her. “The former Alpha Prince of Eclipse Sector. Kieran took him down when I couldn’t.” Because I’d been too weak to finish the job. “That’s how Kieran became an Alpha Prince.” She might have heard about that in passing already. Or maybe she hadn’t. Most wolves in Blood Sector weren’t old enough to know the history of Eclipse Sector.

Because my father killed most of the Alphas and raped their Omegas.

And that had happened after exterminating every Beta in Eclipse Sector.

I winced at the graphic history unfolding in my mind. My bastard father had murdered many of my brothers and sisters, too. As well as all of their Omega mothers.

Including my own.

“My father was insane,” I confided softly. “And I don’t mean that as an exaggeration. I mean he was driven to insanity by bloodlust.” I swallowed. “I don’t know what triggered it, but whatever it was likely exists in me. So when you talk about fear, Ivana, that is my phobia—becoming my father.”

Which was why I’d devoted my life to saving Omegas from troublesome situations.

My father had created a harem of unwilling Omegas, knotting the women without regard to their consent and sharing them with Alphas from other clans around the world. He hadn’t fraternized with V-Clan kind; he’d preferred the mentality of Z-Clan and X-Clan wolves.

I repeated some of that aloud to Ivana, withholding the violent details. Then added, “He killed everyone in Eclipse Sector who was over the age of fifteen, as well as all of his Alpha sons—except me. The only reason I survived was because he saw himself in me.”

A fact he loved to comment on every time we locked eyes. “It’s like looking in a mirror,” he’d say, pleased. “Just need to toughen you up, my boy.”

My grip in Ivana’s hair loosened, my stomach churning with the memories of my past. Memories of him .

“I was thirteen when he finally died,” I muttered. “It took me far too many years to take him down, and in the end, I hadn’t been able to finish the job.” That was when Kieran had taken over and severed my father’s head from his body.

Lorcan had then tossed the remains into my father’s pride and joy—his dungeon incinerator.

The stench of that damn place still haunted me today, despite it having been long destroyed.

“I was a coward that day,” I admitted aloud. “But I’m not a coward with you, Ivana. I’m trying to be strong, to encourage you to find a better mate, to ensure you’re not tied in any way to my darkness.”

I released her hair to palm her cheek.

“I’m not worthy of an Omega mate, love. It’s a fate I’ve long accepted. Although you’ve certainly tempted me to reconsider, I can’t allow myself to be that selfish. Because I don’t deserve to have such a beautiful gift in my life.” I brushed my lips against hers in the softest of touches. “If I could have you, I would in a heartbeat. But it would be wrong, Vana. Very, very wrong.”

My heart felt somehow lighter now that I’d revealed the truth to her.

I wished she could be mine.

But she couldn’t.

“I vowed long ago that I would dedicate my life to protecting the remaining inhabitants of Eclipse Sector and their kin. That vow expanded when Kieran took over Blood Sector and brought all our wolves with him. I serve at his side willingly because he earned my fealty. And I will spend my existence making amends on behalf of my bloodline.”

It was my due. Too many wolves had lost their parents before they even knew them, all because I hadn’t been able to take my father down on my own.

I’d needed Kieran.

“That sounds lonely,” Ivana whispered, drawing my gaze to her mouth. There was something in her tone that hypnotized me. Or maybe it was just the female herself.

Everything she did captivated me. Made me question my fate. Had me longing for something I shouldn’t. Forced words from my mouth that I shouldn’t say…

“Being alone has never bothered me,” I murmured. “It’s my life.”

“That doesn’t have to be your life, Cillian.” Her palms skimmed up my sides, the warmth of her touch causing my wolf to freeze inside me. Anticipation hummed through my veins, my inner beast curious as to what she might do.

Her fingers danced over my chest, causing me to hold my breath.

I didn’t want to move.

Didn’t want to frighten the exploring Omega.

Didn’t want to destroy this unique moment between us.

I’d told her things I hadn’t said to anyone else. Provided her with a history that left me feeling inferior as an Alpha. Gave her all the reasons why we couldn’t be together.

Yet she was… moving closer to me.

“You don’t have to be alone,” she told me, her gentle voice a kiss to my senses. Her warmth moved up to my face, her palm cradling my cheek. I leaned into her hand, desperate for more. Utterly lost to her display of affection.

My hands fell to her hips, my fingers gripping her with a need I could barely suppress.

Fuck . I had no idea what was happening here, but it was profound. Powerful. Us .

And I really didn’t want to fight anymore.

I just wanted to indulge in her soft, feminine touch. Let her pet me. Absorb her words. Believe them, if only just for a few precious seconds.

Ivana’s fingers trailed up into my hair while her opposite palm remained against my cheek.

I swallowed, feeling oddly vulnerable. It was… strange. Very unlike me. But I just wanted to melt into her, accept every ounce of her affection.

It was selfish.

I didn’t deserve this or her.

But I let her lead. Let her press her lips to mine. Let her breathe me in as though I was the oxygen she craved.

Or maybe it was me breathing her in.

Because I suddenly felt anchored to her. Reliant on her to hold me in place. To ground me. To center me.

“Vana,” I said on a reverent exhale, my lips brushing hers.

“Shh,” she hushed me. “Let me show you what it could be like, Cillian. Let me be with you. Just for a minute.”

I shuddered, a hint of alarm sounding from somewhere deep within my mind. Stop this , that part of me demanded. Stop this before it’s ? —

Her tongue traced my bottom lip, silencing my thoughts.

For the first time in my life, I relinquished control.

I gave my Omega what she craved—a piece of me.

No, not a piece. All of me.

If only for a second, I would grant her access to my mind, body, heart, and soul. She was the first Omega to ever tempt me. The first Omega to ever make me consider an alternate path.

And I’d responded by pushing her away.

All while my wolf had pined for her.

Our Omega.

Our mate.

Our Vana.

I groaned as her tongue slid into my mouth, her kiss far more tentative than the one we’d shared after her date.

That had been about hunger.

This… this was about something so much deeper. A connection I’d fought for far too long. A yearning that existed between our souls.

But as her tongue touched mine, it awoke something much less tentative inside me. Something visceral. Something feral .

My fingers dug into her hips as I pulled her more firmly against me, my mouth taking charge of hers in the next breath.

I needed more.

I needed her.

I needed this .

Her taste. Her tongue. Her willingness.

This wasn’t about teaching her what she deserved or showing her how an Alpha should kiss an Omega. It was about how I would embrace her. How I would touch her. How I would worship her.

She moaned as I pressed her up against the wall once more, my palms sliding up her wet, naked body to cup her firm breasts. They fit perfectly in my palms, her curves made for my touch. For me .

Because she’s mine.

My wolf growled inside, agreeing with the claim. His rumble grew so loud that I couldn’t hide it, my chest vibrating against Ivana as I kissed her harder. More thoroughly. More intently .

Cillian. The mental voice didn’t belong to my Omega, so I ignored it.

Only Ivana mattered.

Her touch. Her heat. Her slick .

Sweet fuck, I groaned, my inner animal practically rabid with the need to taste our Omega between her thighs. Her citrusy scent had blossomed into an aroma that suffocated every single one of my senses.

My knot throbbed.

My stomach tightened.

My heart raced.

I just wanted to kneel and lick every fucking inch of her.

But her fingers were tangled with my hair, her tongue dueling with mine.

This was no longer soft or sweet or emotional; it was intensity personified.

She wrapped a leg around my hip, her moan an invitation against my mouth.

I lifted her up without thought, my pulsing cock instantly finding her weeping cunt. “Vana,” I growled, sliding against her, reveling in the heat bathing my shaft.

She arched in response, her clit rubbing the head of my dick as she whimpered with need.

Too fast , I thought. Too fucking fast .

Yet we’d been dancing around this for years.

“ Fuck .” I was losing control again. But I couldn’t tell if I was handing the reins to Ivana or to my wolf.

I wanted to be inside her so damn bad.

To rut her.

Knot her.

Claim her.

Her nails scratched down my back as her sweet pussy ground against my aching cock. “ Cillian .”

I didn’t even know if she was ready to take me. Has she ever been taken by an Alpha ? I wondered.

And instantly wished that I hadn’t.

Because the thought of anyone else fucking her had me wanting to murder whoever had dared touch my Omega.

It also had me wanting to drive inside her and claim what was meant to be mine. To make sure she forgot everyone and anyone who might have touched her before me. And to ensure no other Alpha would ever be good enough for her in the future.

So fucking wrong.

Feels too damn right.

My palms skimmed up her sides to once more palm her perfect tits. I teased her hard nipples with my thumbs while my lower half firmly pinned her against the wall.

It wouldn’t take much to enter her.

But an insistent pull in my mind held me back, reminding me to be gentle with her. To cherish her as an Alpha should.

My wolf grumbled inside, his need for her bordering on violence. It’d been six very long years since I’d taken a woman to my bed.

I hadn’t meant to fall into a bout of celibacy, but after meeting Ivana, I’d simply lost interest in everyone else.

She’d consumed every ounce of my attention, dragging me into one of the hardest battles of my life.

It was a battle I was currently losing.

A battle I no longer wished to take part in.

Not with the pliable, willing Omega pressed up against my hard, aroused flesh.

Ivana caught my bottom lip between her teeth, causing my eyes to flash open and collide with her dangerous gaze.

If she bit down, it would initiate a mating bond between us. A bond that required me to bite her in return.

Don’t tempt me, macushla , I thought at her, belatedly realizing that I could access her mind again.

Whatever block she’d created had long since crumbled to dust, allowing me to hear the sensual intentions dancing through her thoughts.

Gods, I groaned, enthralled by her imagination. Yet the underlying hint of innocence told me she wasn’t experienced.

And that…

That forced me to slow down.

To take a breath.

To gently remove my lip from her teeth so I could trail kisses across her cheek.

She needed tenderness. Adoration. Worship .

My hands returned to her hips, my lips going to her ear. “Have you ever been knotted, Vana?”

Her fingertips skated down my torso, nearing my groin. “Not by a real Alpha, no.”

I frowned. “Are you being coy with me, darling?” Because that certainly seemed like a very Ivana thing to do.

“I have a toy,” she whispered. Her blue eyes lifted to mine, only to drift to the side a heartbeat later as she added, “For my heat cycles. Because… you never…” She swallowed and shook her head. “I don’t think it’s the same as a real knot, but it… helps.”

A note of sadness haunted her mind, pushing away some of her lustful thoughts.

He never came, she was thinking. He left me to suffer alone. Because he never wanted me.

“Fuck, Vana, I?—”

A loud knock against the bathroom door interrupted me mid-sentence. My power instantly locked on our intruder, my gaze narrowing as I spun in his direction.

I should have sensed his entry, should have known he was here by his scent .

But I’d been so consumed by Ivana and her sweet fragrance that I’d failed to properly monitor our surroundings.

Of course, the Beta had just shadowed into the igloo—something I knew with a sweep of his mind.

At least I hadn’t been so far gone that even my wolf had failed to detect his physical approach.

Alas, I should have been aware enough to catch his mental intentions.

That was a problem I’d fix immediately .

You better have a damn good reason for interrupting us, Beta, I telepathically said to Benz.

Lorcan sent me was all he said in reply. But I heard—and felt —his underlying irritation.

He didn’t like that I was in here with Ivana.

And he really didn’t approve of the alluring scent of her slick in the air.

I ignored his presence and connected to Lorcan’s mind. You sent Benz for me?

You weren’t responding to my calls. The stoicism that typically underlined my old friend’s voice was notably replaced by annoyance. We have a situation.

What kind of situation?

Lorcan went straight to the point, replying, Omega Sylvia was found unconscious thirty minutes ago in her igloo.

I froze. What?

Someone drugged her, Cillian. I’m healing her, but it’s an estrus stimulant. When she wakes up, she’ll be in heat.

A growl escaped me. A growl born of unadulterated fury .

Stimulating an estrus was common for other types of wolves. Some Alphas didn’t want to wait to breed their chosen Omegas.

However, that wasn’t how we did things in the V-Clan sectors. We respected our Omegas and their cycles.

One of these Alphas isn’t playing by the rules, I thought to myself, my hands balling into fists. And that asshole broke those rules while I was otherwise occupied.

“What is it?” Ivana asked, pulling me from my thoughts and forcing me to look at the heart of my distraction.

“I need to go,” I told her, the words a rumble in my chest.

Fuck. I shouldn’t have even been here at all.

It was my job to watch the Omegas.

My duty to protect them.

And I’d been too caught up in Ivana to focus on my task. On my vow .

This… this was precisely why I couldn’t mate her. She was a dangerous distraction. A tempting fate. An unattainable ideal .

“Cillian,” she said, grabbing my arm. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“Benz can explain,” I replied as I shadowed out of the shower to grab a towel. The Beta opened the door, causing me to glare at him. “You can explain after Ivana is dressed.”

“You act as though I haven’t seen her naked before,” he drawled, leaning against the doorjamb and blocking my exit. “She’s my best friend, Alpha Cillian. We run together as wolves often. She’s like a sister to me.”

The way he said that sounded like more of a warning than an explanation. Like he was trying to tell me to be careful with her or he would make me pay for hurting her.

I would have laughed if I weren’t so concerned with the situation at hand. “Move, Beta.”

He held my gaze for a beat too long, then sighed and stepped back to allow me to pass.

“Cillian,” Ivana called as she grabbed a towel to trail after me.

By the time she entered the main room, my pants were already on. “I have to go,” I told her again as I grabbed my shirt.

Then I shadowed before she could try to stop me.

I’m sorry, Vana, I whispered into her mind. But I can’t be yours.

Not now.

Not ever.

Because I was married to my duty first.

Everything else had to come second.

Or bad things happened.

Bad things… like this .