Elevator Pitch (Hapless In Love #1)

63. Runaway Bride Again?

63

runaway bride again?

Selah

Manhattan NY | April 20, 2024

The doors open and I step onto the platform. Clifford watches me from the hallway, with a tilted head. He’s confused and concerned about Greyson and me.

Me too, sweetie. Me too.

This is why rules were put in place. He was the one that was more experienced with casual relationships. He was the one that shouldn’t have fallen in love. He was concerned about me coming from long-term relationships and look at what happened. I’m doing it again. I packed a go bag, and I am running. This fucking elevator cannot close fast enough. I need to get far away from here.

Greyson is in love with me. Why doesn’t he understand? I can’t trust anyone not to hurt me. Loving me simply isn’t enough. It doesn’t ensure my safety. Manipulation was a familiar friend disguised as love and I was the butt of the joke. I didn’t know until the end that Jourdan never loved me. I was simply an easy target. Even after two years of therapy I don’t trust myself not to get caught in another spiderweb. The best way to protect myself is to have strict rules and boundaries .

Grey’s voice quivers when he calls out for Cliff, but he stands in the hall waiting for me. I never wanted to hurt him. My stomach turns at the cracks in his voice. I never intended to hurt anyone. This was the one time I did something selfish because I thought I deserved it, and I see now that I was wrong. I dragged him into this. We wouldn’t even be here right now if I’d stayed away from him like I tried to in the beginning. The doors are closing and Cliff whines.

I’m so sorry.

A wracked sob escapes me before the doors fully shut. I’m certain he heard it. I couldn’t hold it any longer. I watch the numbers descend through teary eyes until they stop on my floor. I managed to make it home without running into anyone else. I plop onto my bed and scream into my pillow. Everything was perfect. These past few months have been smooth and peaceful. Every day with him feels like a dream, so I’d be lying if I said it never felt like we were ‘more,’ or at least heading towards it. Then yesterday was unreal. I can’t fault him for riding that high and baring his soul. He could’ve lied, but he didn’t. He promised he wouldn’t lie, and I respect it, even if I don’t like the truth.

I hate how I reacted at that moment. I really care for Greyson and enjoy his company. We get along well, and this arrangement made sense, at least I thought. I’m just not capable of giving him what he deserves so I won’t waste his time. He could find himself a woman that’s ready to be loved and appreciate him now. He said he’d wait for me. Why? What good would that do for him? If you’re ready to love and be loved, why waste time waiting for someone that isn’t to eventually come around? I’m surely not worth all that trouble. I’m not healed enough, and I don’t want to damage anyone’s heart while mending my own.

I am chaos and Greyson is peace.

I don’t want to hear anything about ‘Stubborn Selah’ right now. I need a neutral voice of reason, and that’s Eric Callahan. I send off a text to see if he’s down for some shenanigans today.

Me

“Do you want to get violently high and go to IKEA?”

Eric

What’s going on?

Questions!

How can I drive if I am violently high?

Also, how violent are we talking?

Cause I got this Alaskan Thunder Fuck that just came fresh from the farm.

Me

Is the Thunder Fuck violent enough to forget how I handled something?

Eric

Selah, what did you do?

Wait. You didn’t do the runaway bride again, did you?

Not with Greyson. What happened?

Me

I did the runaway bride again.

Eric

Tell me what this man did to make you put the sneaks back on.

Me

He said he’s in love with me.

Eric

Well, fuck.

That’ll do it.

It sounds more like you need the violence and adult supervision.

Me

I don’t want to talk about it.

I just want to get out of here.

Eric

Be there in twenty minutes.

Bring Oreos.

Doublestuf ONLY.

Me

Bet.