Embers of Torment (Power and Passion #2)

Chapter 7

Della

I hurried down Pier 4 Boulevard along the waterfront toward Tillson's Café, where I was meeting my sister-in-law Kendra. It was her turn to come to my neighborhood for lunch. The two of us switched back and forth between the Seaport area where I lived and Back Bay, which was the community Kendra and my brother, Spencer, called home. Today's outing would have made for a comfortable stroll if I hadn't been running late.

I'd gotten sidetracked searching the internet for information on Jace. The man had me so freaking intrigued I wanted to know as much as I could about him, and once I'd started my research, I didn't want to stop. After the way he snuggled and took care of me at Adam's apartment Friday night, my interest had blossomed beyond friendly curiosity. But I didn't want to label it anything but that. Doing so would only lead to problems.

That hadn't stopped me from acting like some wannabe private eye. My efforts revealed that he was an infrequent social media user, and his addresses, education, and employment data reflected his years in North Carolina and Colorado and displayed nothing unusual. Although those tidbits gave me a glimpse into his life, they didn't tell me much or help to dispel my suspicion that I was missing something.

I only wished I knew what that something was.

Shrugging off my lingering skepticism, I entered the café and scanned the dining area for Kendra. I spotted her sitting in the corner. Happy to see her, I plopped onto the seat across from her and tossed my purse strap over the back of my chair. Noticing the numbered stand beside the condiment tray, I cocked my head at her. "You ordered already?"

"Well, hello to you too," Kendra laughed, tucking a wayward strand of chestnut hair behind her ear. "And, yes, I did. You mentioned on the phone last night that you were craving a turkey and avocado sandwich, so I went ahead and ordered you one, along with an iced tea. I can run to the counter and change it if that isn't what you want."

"No, no. That's perfect. It's what I was getting." Although I appreciated her taking the initiative to get my lunch, doing so made it feel like I was exploiting her generosity by being late. That wasn't my game plan, and I was sure Kendra didn't see it that way. Besides her motherly nature, she and my brother were overly protective. So, I attributed my odd take on the situation to my hypersensitivity, which was a trait I usually kept hidden since most of society viewed it as a negative.

Growing up, I was an "oops baby," having come into this world after my parents assumed they would have no more children. Although I was unplanned, they deeply loved me, and as the youngest, I became coddled by my parents and older siblings. Beverly was fourteen years older than me and lived in Seattle with her husband and children. Spencer and I had a twelve-year age gap. Now grown up and at the whopping age of thirty-four, I still found my brother and sister suffocating at times, but I knew they meant well.

The years spent protecting me—most notably by my parents when the boy from school bullied me—produced an unwanted consequence. Independence came with some difficulty, and it took a long time to understand myself and develop an identity. Worse still was my internal anguish, created by the two competing sides. I had my bully telling me I was an ugly and worthless subhuman in one ear. At the same time, my parents tried to counter the rhetoric and name-calling in the other. It was like flailing in a bubble of anxiety and depression, and even though it all happened years ago, the bullying left lasting scars.

"Della?" Kendra nudged my arm. "I just asked you a question."

I gave her a blank stare, her voice drawing me from my musings. "I'm sorry. I was thinking about something. Ask me again."

"I said, I assume you were with Adam Friday night. What did you two end up doing?"

"Oh, umm… Adam had a friend come over, and the three of us watched a flick."

"Who was the friend?"

"Just some guy Adam's known for a long time." I brushed a non-existent piece of lint from my jeans and straightened the hem of my blouse.

Kendra pursed her lips as she studied me. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"Come on, Della. I know you and your habits better than you think. You're fidgeting, which means you're either leaving something out or trying to brush past the subject. So who is this guy?" Kendra eyeballed me, then broke into a wide grin. "You're blushing. It has to be because of the friend. Well? Tell me about him."

"Fine." I rolled my eyes and groaned. Kendra was relentless when she wanted information, which meant she wouldn't stop pressing until I fessed up. And, yeah, she knew me far too well, spotting a lie a mile away if I tried to get one by her. "The guy's name is Jace, and he recently moved here from Boulder, Colorado. He and Adam met in their teens and became best buddies when they attended the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill together. He's also super cute."

"And you like him."

"I… Yeah, I guess I do. But it doesn't matter. All we'll ever be is friends."

"Why would you say that if you like the guy?"

"Because it would be detrimental to let anything happen. Adam has been acting all giddy now that Jace has moved to Boston. There's no way I'm going to screw that up."

Kendra leaned back, leaving space for one of the servers who came to our table with our lunch order. After dispersing our sandwiches and drinks, the employee picked up our numbered stand. Tucking his tray under his arm, he hustled back toward the kitchen.

Kendra glanced at me while selecting a sweetener packet from the condiment caddy. "You'll have to explain what that means because I'm not following your logic."

"Okay, put it this way. Have you known any of my dates over the last six or eight months to go well?"

"Sure. The one where that cute stockbroker took you to that pricey steak house and… Never mind. I forgot he told you to order what you wanted and then claimed to have forgotten his wallet when the bill came. Damn, I think that date cost you some bucks."

"Thanks for the memory. Anyway, the point is my dating is going about as well as a train wreck. If I went out with Jace, I could almost guarantee that something embarrassing, uncomfortable, or irritating would eventually happen. We'd get pissed at each other and stop talking, which is bound to affect Adam. I don't want him to think he has to choose sides or feel bad because he introduced us. It would put Adam in a sticky situation, and he's so darn sensitive it would upset him."

"So you're willing to pass on a guy that you're interested in because you don't want to hurt Adam's feelings?"

"Yes, and don't roll your eyes at me like that. Adam's my best friend, and I don't want to destroy that."

"You're being ridiculous," Kendra muttered before taking a bite of her chicken salad sandwich. She washed it down with a sip of her iced tea and peeked at me over the rim of the glass. "I have an idea."

"What?" I eyed her with caution.

"Why don't you broach the subject with Adam and tell him how you feel?"

"Oh, heck, no. Adam would go nuts if he knew I was interested in Jace, and he'd try to push us together. Besides, Adam would never tell me the truth. If I asked him whether a failed relationship between Jace and me would affect him, Adam would say it wouldn't. But I know him too well. He'd take it personally."

"Why don't you mention it to Sofie and see what she thinks?"

"That wouldn't work either. Sofie would go the opposite direction and tell me Adam's a grown man capable of dealing with the situation and that I should do what I want. Then she'd go out of her way to set Jace and me up."

"I like her line of reasoning and agree with it."

"No," I groaned. "Adam's too sensitive. It's not that easy."

"Yes, it is, and I don't think it's Adam you're truly worried about. It's you. You're petrified that going out with this guy will become a disaster, and you don't want to get disappointed or hurt. But what you're failing to consider is that the caliber of the guys you've been seeing has been shitty. That's where the problem lies. It's not with you or dating in general. If he's a decent person, who knows where it could lead, and it's silly not to give it a chance."

"You're wrong." Frustrated and defensive, I shifted my attention to the counter and line of people waiting to order. I gasped and held my breath.

"What?" Kendra asked, trying to follow my gaze.

"It's him."

"Him who?"

"Jace. Adam's friend. He's wearing a forest green button-down shirt. Freaking monkey muffins! Do I look okay?" I nervously scanned my blouse and pants.

Kendra burst out laughing. "Oh, shit. You do like this guy. I don't think I've ever seen you care about impressing someone. And, my God, he's adorable."

"Shut up, okay? It's not like this is a big place. I don't want him to hear you and notice me sitting here." I looked back at the counter and met Jace's startled gaze. I swallowed, my throat becoming dry.

A smile lit up Jace's face as he walked toward our table, holding a take-out bag. "Della. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah, well. I didn't plan to see you either. Kendra and I come here for lunch on occasion. She's my sister-in-law." I turned to Kendra. "This is Adam's friend, Jace."

An evil little light seemed to pop into Kendra's eyes. "Oh, I see. He's the one you were telling me about."

"Really? You were talking about me?" Jace chuckled.

"I was not!"

"All right then. But I hope it was positive, whatever you weren't saying about me." Jace winked at Kendra. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Same here," Kendra said with obvious enjoyment.

I shot her a pissy look and smiled up at Jace. "What brings you here?"

"I thought I'd pick up lunch on my way to my cousin Ree's house. I told her I'd stop by to visit. She lives over in Chestnut Hill. I come here since their sandwiches are better than most, and this place isn't far from home."

"I wasn't aware you had family here." I was surprised by Jace's comment. Adam had talked about Jace so often that it seemed odd he hadn't mentioned it.

"It's only my cousin and her daughter, Lily. Ree's divorced, and she and I were close when we were kids, spending a substantial amount of time together. Her parents moved from here to Nashville around five years ago when my uncle accepted a position with Vanderbilt University Medical Center."

"That must mean you were already familiar with Boston when you relocated here from Boulder."

"Yes and no. Although I spent a chunk of my early childhood here, that was long ago. The city and surrounding areas have changed since then. Well, I should get going. I told Ree I'd be there about now and don't want to disrupt your lunch. Kendra, it was terrific to meet you."

"The pleasure was mine." Kendra smiled back at Jace, appearing amused by the interruption.

"Della, it was fun running into you. I'm sure I'll see you sometime during the week. And remember to keep the conversations you're not sharing about me to the pleasant stuff. I wouldn't want Kendra to develop a bad opinion of me. Have a wonderful afternoon." Jace nodded slightly and gave me a cheeky smile. Then he swiftly walked away.

"You're a brat," I called after him, trying to act like I took offense to his comment. I had to admit, though, it was the opposite. I enjoyed his attention and playful banter. Of course, he didn't need to know that.

Jace laughed, the sound captivating.

"Oh, Lord. That man is hot. I swear, Della, if you don't make a play for him, I'll never speak to you again."

"Yeah, right. Like you're going to stop talking to me. We're family, remember? Besides, I already told you how I feel about the situation. So…how's my brother, and what's he up to today?"

"Brilliant ploy," Kendra laughed. "Change the subject. That's fine. I'll drop it—for now." She took a bite of her sandwich and another sip of tea. "As far as Spencer goes, he's taking Nathan to a Red Sox game at Fenway this afternoon. He's trying to get in some father-son bonding time, which is challenging with a teenager. It's like Nathan finds hanging out with his parents unappealing nowadays, and Spencer has to rack his brain to find something Nathan's interested in. I'm sure you're familiar with the scenario from when you were a teen."

"Umm…not really. I was always close to my parents."

"Hmm, I can understand that. Your folks are about the best there are. Your mom, especially, with how she supported and bolstered you when you went through all that crap when you were a kid. To this day, Spencer still wishes he had realized what was happening and was able to help. But he'd already moved away to college by then, and the only thing he and I were noticing was each other."

"Yeah, well. That was eons ago, and there's no point in hashing up the past. That's a whole period in my life I prefer to forget. So…umm. Can we please talk about something else?"

"I get it. That's fine." Kendra's face brightened. "Ooh, I have some exciting news to share. One of the local galleries is putting together an exhibit featuring Boston artists. They've invited me to show some of my sculptures. I have to decide which pieces to include by the end of next week."

"That's fantastic. So which ones are you leaning toward?"

"I'm not sure yet."

I finished my sandwich while I listened to Kendra talk about her upcoming exhibit and the various sculptures she was trying to choose between. Even though I gave her my attention, I couldn't shake the anguish her reflections about my childhood had brought, especially since those were the most painful years of my life.

And they were becoming more difficult to forget with each failed date. The ridicule and condescending comments inflicted upon me by the asshats I dated were increasingly reminiscent of those from my elementary school bully.

I shrugged off my spate of failures and buried my pain, unwilling to ruin the afternoon. After another hour of light-hearted chitchat, Kendra said she needed to go. I walked her to her car, and after a quick hug goodbye, I headed toward Seaport Common instead of returning home.

I breathed in the fresh, salty air while I strolled through the park. The sun was bright, and the temperature was comfortably warm. Wanting to take advantage of such a gorgeous day, I sat on a nearby bench to enjoy the view and people-watch.

A young couple chatted as they passed, the man pushing a baby in a stroller. Groups of people sat in the yellow and white chairs underneath the line of trees, and a boisterous group of men and several ladies played a game of cornhole on the lawn. Sighing, I turned to look behind me and spotted a man and woman about my age cuddling on a bench. The man leaned down and kissed the woman's forehead, his gaze filled with love and adoration.

I studied them while I sank into a sea of loneliness, wondering why a relationship like that increasingly seemed out of my grasp. I could feel a growing twinge of sadness and need as I continued watching the pair, the green monster of envy trying to climb to the surface. Then I thought of Jace, envisioning us sitting on the bench in that couple's place.

Dispirited, I got up and turned to leave. I had a blossoming interest in Jace, but my friendship with Adam and disastrous dating history pushed him out of my reach.