Espresso Your Love (The Coffee Loft Series: Fall Collection)

17. Cassie

17

Cassie

As the candle’s wick catches fire, the smell of amber and vanilla spreads through the room. It’s the first time I’ve lit the candle I made at the festival, and it unmistakably smells like Ryan.

For now, I bask in this fluffy cloud of hope until we talk. That was my plan, but then I got roped into family dinner. More like my sass got me roped into dinner. But his mom and sister were so incredibly sweet, and I can see where Ryan gets his kindness and warmth from. I thought maybe he got some sort of training from work. Learning how to make people feel comfortable around him to get them to confess or something. But it’s just the way he is.

I want him, but he’s been sending mixed signals. One minute, he seems like he wants something more. There was that almost kiss, and us running through the hay maze together was straight out of a movie. And yet the next minute, he’s distant. Did I upset him at the festival? It’s evident in his body language and his words that something is wrong. But when I told him about getting the Mercer wedding, there was that spark between us again.

I collapse onto my bed, thoughts swirling around in my head.

Do I like him? Yes.

Do I want more than friends? Absolutely, yes.

Which would make me his girlfriend? Ryan’s girlfriend.

I can get used to that. But before I start doodling Cassie Hayes again, something is going on with him. Which scares me.

He’s been reserved, and I just wish he would open up to me about it. What if he doesn’t want more and he doesn’t know how to tell me? Maybe I’m too much for him? Or not enough for him.

And what if he does? I’ve never been in a real relationship; I’ve never even been kissed. How do I move forward knowing that hurt is possible? I could walk out of this relationship with a broken heart.

Hi, I’m Cassie, and welcome to my overthinking party.

I walk to the kitchen to grab a container of cupcakes and walk back into my room. The amber scent hits me again, and I groan as I slump down into my bed.

The meeting went smoothly today, better than I could have asked for. The bride was the cutest baker and the groom reminded me of Ryan, a strong exterior but sweet on the inside. The bride brought me cupcakes, and they rival the Sweet Sisters Bakery; they are so delicious. But I won’t tell Hope or Charity.

I already ate one on the plane home—did I mention it was a private plane? Yep. Private plane. I always try to think the best of people and not judge. But when the limo drove onto the tarmac up to a private plane, I began to prepare myself for a very specific type of bride. One who wore fur coats and demanded caviar at brunch.

But instead, I was completely taken aback. She was down-to-earth and funny, and the way she talked about her husband-to- be…it was adorable. Love radiated from every word she spoke about him.

I take another bite of the cupcake, the sweet buttercream frosting melting on my tongue.

The groom-to-be was charismatic. The way he looked at his soon-to-be bride…one word: swoon. I want someone to look at me like that. Like I’m his whole world. Like he wants to spend every moment with me. Someone who pushes me to be my best self. Someone who supports and believes in me.

And I desperately want that to be Ryan.

I’ve gone from a fluffy cloud of hope to an overthinking party and landed in a pit of longing.

I have the skills to plan the most romantic day of your life yet when it comes to my own emotions, I’m a ship lost at sea.

I finish off the cupcake in two bites and savor the chocolatey goodness. Tomorrow is a fresh, new day, and I have to meet the Hayes women at Coffee Loft. I’ll need all the rest I can get to harbor my feelings.

As much as I want to skip my run this morning, I can’t. Not after taking a rest day and an easy day. The marathon is in less than a month, and I need to keep pushing for a better time.

So, with a sigh, I trade the comfort of my bed for leggings and running shoes. I always feel good after, but the before is pure torture. Running helps shut off my overthinking brain and gets me to focus on things besides work and Ryan.

After an invigorating run and shaving fifteen seconds off my best time, I get ready and walk to Coffee Loft. After meeting with Margie and Sadie, I’ll sneak up to my office (aka the loft couch) and get some work done.

The bell of the door clatters as I walk in, the smell of brewing coffee and baked goods filling my senses. Ash is upfront taking an order. She flashes me her bright smile and waves. I return her wave as I join the end of the line. I scan the room to see if I spot Margie and Sadie. It’s a little busier than usual for a Monday, but it looks like I beat them here.

I glance at the door every few seconds, waiting for them to walk in. Ms. Patterson totters in, her gnome canvas bag hanging off her walker.

“Hey, Ash. Busy today, huh?”

“It’s been like this since opening. Aunt Clara said her guests were here for the Autumn Festival and are still here.”

My eyes widen. “They stayed all weekend?”

“Yes, they loved the festival so much that they wanted to see what else the town had to offer. Aunt Clara said she was fully booked and had to send people to the B business owners all over town said their shops are busy. You did this!”

“Wow. I mean…that’s amazing. I’m thrilled it did so well.” My brain is still processing what this will mean for our town.

“I’d talk more but the long line behind you says I can’t. What do you want today?”

“Any new recipes?” I ask, hopeful for something different.

“I’ve been playing around with a maple cinnamon latte. Wanna try it?”

“I’m always up for it. Make it lofty. And can you add a variety of donuts?”

“Long planning day?”

“Yes, but first, I’m meeting Ryan’s mom and sister here. If they order, it’s on me. Ryan might be with them so that’ll be easy to tell, but if not, just look for the sweet, cheerful mom and daughter duo.”

Ashley raises an eyebrow. “Clearly, we need to catch up today. You need to tell me about the Mercer meeting and whatever is about to happen.”

“I’ll fill you in on your break. I’ll be here working all day.”

I patiently wait for my drink, which smells divine, and then look around to find a table. All are taken downstairs except one right in the middle of the room. I already saw one Madame C here, and I don’t need all of town to be gossiping about this, especially if Ryan comes.

I notice my spot in the loft is open. Perfect. I’ll grab it now and be able to stay there after they leave. I head up the stairs, coffee in one hand and box of donuts in another, and mentally note each step to make sure I don’t trip.

When I get to the coffee table, I empty my hands and set my bag on the ground. I can’t wait another second to taste this drink so I take a small sip.

The sweetness of the maple syrup and cinnamon intermingle perfectly, like a match made in heaven.

I keep watching the door as people come in and out. Margie and Sadie are next to walk in. Ryan isn’t with them, and I feel a pang of disappointment. They look around, and when Sadie spots me, I wave. She gives me a thumbs up, and they stand in line.

I text Ashley what number in line they are, and she sends a heart emoji back to me. I take another sip of my latte before sinking into the plush cushions.

The hum of activity downstairs provides a comforting backdrop. The loft is like a little oasis, and that’s why I love to work here.

“Hey,” a husky voice says from behind me.

I jump and immediately am grateful that I set my latte down on the table.

I turn my head around to find Ryan, in his police uniform. “Ryan! You scared me.” I swat my hand at him, but he moves before I can hit him.

He chuckles. “You really should be more aware of your surroundings.”

“I’ve never been good at that.” I softly smile as he sits down in the chair in front of me. “Hey, where’s Max?”

“I left him with Mitchell in the cruiser. I can’t stay long, but I wanted to say goodbye to Mom and Sadie before they left.”

My heart flutters at his thoughtfulness.

“There you are!” Margie sets her coffee down and envelops me in a hug.

“Margie! It’s so good to see you again.” I return the warm hug.

Sadie offers a hug. “We’ve been looking forward to this since last night! I had to opt for decaf or this baby will be wired on the drive home.”

“I got you some donuts as well. They’re from the local bakery.”

“They are delicious,” Ryan chimes in. “While I’d love to stay longer, I have to get to work.” He hugs his mom and Sadie. “I’ll see you two at family dinner.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” Margie gently pats Ryan’s cheek before he leaves.

I watch as he walks down the stairs. Before he walks out of the shop, he looks back and waves at me. I wave back then turn back to Margie and Sadie. Sadie is giving me a knowing look, and Margie has a wide smile on her face.

“Donut?” I ask, holding up the box, trying to avoid the comments I know are coming.

“Only if that donut comes with a confession that you like my brother, too.”

“Too?”

Sadie’s wide eyes shoot to Margie, who remains neutral.

“He told you?” I squeak out, my cheeks burning red.

Way to play it cool, Cassie.

Margie turns to me, her kind smile as warm as the cinnamon-spiced air.

“Honey, he didn’t need to. It’s written all over his face when he looks at you.”

“It is?”

“Definitely! It’s like the way Luke looks at Lorelai,” Sadie sighs.

I don’t believe that.

“He’s just seemed a little distant lately.”

She reaches for my hand. “It’s not my place to tell his story, but I will tell you this…just give him a little more time. He’ll come around.”

I nod, bottling up my emotions.

“If Ryan knew we were talking about him, he’d flip.” Sadie chuckles, reaching for a donut.

“It’s his own fault that he isn’t here to stop us.” Margie laughs.