Exposed (Let Me Love You #3)

Chapter 16

16

MAGIC CARPET RIDE

MATT

W omen are hormonal during their time of the month, but something deeper is eating at Pepper. I hope she tells me soon, because I’m itching to help.

During Simon’s nap time today, I forced myself to stay up and edit wedding galleries. At least, I finished two of them before I fell asleep.

I’ve never been behind with work, and it’s stressing me out. How do parents find time in the day to do everything? Parents are freaking superheroes. I need to thank mine the next time I see them.

Monday is usually laundry day, but I never got around to it with Simon’s surprise arrival. My second load of laundry is spinning in the washing machine when Pepper gets back from work.

“Hey, Pepper. How was work?” I ask as I entertain Simon with a book during tummy time.

“Haven’t dropped a tray yet, so that’s a win,” she replies.

Simon and I went shopping for her today, and I hope she’s not angry about it. She has a hard time accepting people doing nice things for her.

Side note: while we were at the store, I bought a potty chair. After Simon can sit up by himself, I’m going to sit him on it and see if anything happens.

I clear my throat, then tell Pepper, “I’ve got something to tell you, and I don’t want you to be mad.”

“That is a scary opening statement,” she shudders.

I stand and pick Simon up. She can’t be mad if I’m holding my adorable son, yeah?

“There’s a bag of clothes for you on your bed. You don’t owe me anything, but you may as well not have to do laundry so much while you’re here.” That’s a crappy excuse to buy her stuff, but it’s better than admitting I want to spoil her.

“You can't do that,” she scoffs.

“Already did. Simon helped. We guessed your size. If something doesn’t fit, we can exchange it.”

“You can’t waltz around, paying for everything for me,” she snaps.

She’s mad. Oh well. She’ll have to get over it. I like showing her kindness.

“Actually, I can use my money however I want,” I grin.

“Huh. Good point, but that doesn’t mean I have to wear it,” she sasses.

I step closer to her. “We’ve had this conversation before. If I want to help, let me. It’s not much, but I wanted you to have workout clothes and tennis shoes. Everyone likes choices when they get up in the morning.”

“Not everyone has choices, Matt.”

“Well, now you do,” I bop her on the nose, and she swats my hand away.

“Whatever. Fine.”

“You could say ‘thank you.’”

She sighs, then her face softens. “Thanks, Matt.”

Judging from how she acts, it’s hard for her to accept help from others.

“You bet, Pepper.” I squeeze her shoulder, because I’m craving physical touch from her. She lets her hair out of her ponytail and rolls her neck from side to side as her short hair swishes around.

How does she make simple things look so sexy?

“How was your day with Simon?” She asks.

Simon starts fussing. “Come on, little dude. You know it was good. Let’s show Pepper how strong you are.”

I lay Simon on his tummy on his blue truck blanket. Then, I lift up two corners of the blanket and bend my knees as I gently pull Simon around on the blanket. He’s treated to a smooth ride while he tries to lift his head.

“Taking him for a ride distracts him,” I whisper conspiratorially, like I don’t want Simon to hear.

Pepper’s face is filled with admiration when I sneak a glance at her. “Wow, that’s brilliant,” she smiles.

Fuck, yes. I don’t feel confident in this parenting deal, but this little trick makes me feel like I’m doing something right by my son.

“Simon reminds me of Aladdin when he went on a magic carpet ride,” Pepper giggles.

I watch Simon working to hold his little head up in wonder as he takes in his surroundings.

“This is good for his core. He has to work to hold his head up while moving,” I add.

“He’s going to be a strong kid.”

“The strongest,” I brag. I pause our ride to check the time on my phone. “My parents should be here by now. I’ve got to leave soon for the engagement shoot.”

Don't freak out. They’re not in a wreck. People are late all the time. My parents are usually on time, though.

“Let me wash my hands. I can take care of Simon while you get ready,” Pepper offers.

“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. My parents are never late.

The moment Pepper takes Simon from me, my cell rings. My heart drops when I see my mom’s number on the screen.

“Mom, are you and Dad okay?” I don’t give her a chance to say anything before I ask the question.

“We’re okay, honey. We were in a car wreck, but we’re okay.”

Fuck . I sink to the couch and scrub my hand over my face. “I knew something was wrong. What happened?”

“We’re okay. We think your dad has a broken arm. The ambulance is taking us to Florida Mercy Hospital.”

“Shit. Mom, I’ll cancel my session and drive straight to you guys.”

“No, honey. Don’t worry about us. We’re okay. Really.” She can’t hide the slight tremor in her voice. Car crashes shake you up. I’d know. “I have meatloaf in the car for you and Pepper. It’s a pity it’s going to go bad. Wait, maybe I’ll give it to the paramedics. They can enjoy it, at least.” She laughs nervously.

My palms are sweaty and my grip is so tight, I’m worried I may break my phone. “Mom, don’t worry about the meatloaf. I care about you and Dad, that’s all.”

“I know, but I’m flustered. What are you going to do about Simon? I’m so sorry we’re not there, sweetie.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m cancelling my session and coming to the hospital with Simon.”

A shuffling sound over the phone gives way to my dad’s voice. “Matt, son. We’re fine. We’re going to the ER to get x-rays for my arm. That’s no place for a one month old. Please don’t come here. We’ll get taken care of and take a taxi home.”

“Your car is totaled?” I exclaim.

“It needs repairing. They’re towing it to a mechanic for us.”

“Shit, you guys don’t have a car.” I grab the back of my neck.

“We’re fine. We’ve got my truck,” my dad assures me.

My hands are shaking, and my knees are bouncing. I need to walk, so I get up and pace the carpet of my living room.

“Call me when you get home, okay?” I request.

“Will do, son. Love you,” my dad says, then ends the call.

I toss it on the couch.

“What happened?” Pepper asks.

“Shit. They didn’t even tell me how the car wreck happened,” I walk to Pepper, take Simon and hold him close.

I hate car accidents.

“That’s okay. All that matters is they’re safe.”

“Yeah. They’re safe.”

Grace is dead, and I’m never getting her back.

“Are you okay, Matt?” She asks cautiously.

“No,” I choke out, pacing with Simon. “I can’t do this.”

Memories flood my mind. Crunching metal. Glass shattering. Grace screaming, then her silence. Rain soaking my clothes and hair until I was freezing cold.

I can’t breathe or think. My mind is on overload.

“Matt?”

“What?” I snap. She must’ve asked me a question, but the noise in my head is too loud.

“Your parents are safe. You and Simon are safe. Are you worried about work?” Pepper asks.

“You won’t tell me any of your secrets, so why should I tell you mine?” I yell.

Simon jerks in my arms, and Pepper flinches and steps back from me. Simon looks in my eyes, then throws his head back and wails.

Dammit. That was a dick move.

“I’m sorry. My mind is fucked up right now. I didn’t mean to scare you, Simon,” I kiss the top of his head and rub his back, but he’s full on showing his tonsils while he screams bloody murder.

Pepper keeps her distance from me now. “I can watch Simon while you work if you want,” her voice is quiet but strong, and she holds her hands out to take Simon.

“Yeah. That can work. I’m sorry I scared you, Pepper.” I hand Simon to her. Maybe I need some distance and to lose myself in my work for a few hours.

I need to get myself together. Man the fuck up, Matt. You can’t change history. Move forward.

“Thanks, Pep. I’ll pay you.”

“Consider us fair and square for me eating your food and staying at your house.”

“No. I’ll pay you,” I insist. “You sure you’re comfortable with this?”

“Yeah. I babysat all through college. I’ll make sure he’s fed, clean and is comfy and asleep in bed before you get home.” She rocks him in her arms and pats his diaper covered bum while his all out wailing turns to whimpers. “Want to play with me, sweet Simon?” She softly traces his eyebrow with her fingertip.

Seeing her hold Simon, a sense of relief washes over me. I don’t have to ask if she knows where everything is or if she knows what to do. She’s a natural with babies.

A couple of hours later, I unlock my front door and quietly enter and relock it.

Shani growls low in the hallway, then scampers forward when she recognizes me.

“Hey, girl. You watching out for Pepper and Simon?” I bend down and ruffle her fur. “‘Atta girl.”

As I take my shoes off and set them by the front door, I think about how I can apologize to Pepper. Besides saying sorry again, I’d like to show her how remorseful I feel by making her come as many times as I can.

I owe her an explanation for how I royally freaked out on her this afternoon. I shouldn’t have yelled at her. The image of Simon’s terrified face when I yelled is burned into my memory. I don’t want to do that again. Thankfully, Simon won’t remember it. Unfortunately, Pepper and I will.

No lights are on in the house except the warm glow of the night lights: one in the kitchen and one coming from my room. I grab a drink of water and see that the dishes are all cleaned and put away. The Colorado Rockies magnet I got from my trip to Denver to see my friends is holding up a feeding schedule on the fridge.

Pepper measured out the next round of formula and set it next to the bottle warmer, so it’s ready to be prepared. A clean bottle is also out. Little things like that help immensely in the middle of the night when I’m half asleep.

Wow. Pepper took care of Simon and did that. I’m impressed.

If Pepper is awake, I’m hoping to show her how sorry I am. I want to kiss away the pain and fear I caused her. Memories of her delectable little body writhing on me makes my cock hard.

Shani leads the way to my room. When I open the door, my heart melts. Pepper is sleeping on her side next to Simon in his crib. She looks young with her face relaxed and her guard down while at rest. Simon’s truck blanket is draped over her feet, free and clear of Simon who’s laying on his back. They both look small and vulnerable, and I want to keep them from harm. I want to rescue Pepper from whatever is haunting her.

Shani looks at me, licks her chops, then takes her spot on the floor by Simon’s crib.

I don’t have the heart to wake Pepper. She worked hard catering, then came home and took care of my son after I yelled at her.

Tiredness seeps into every cell in my body. I’m exhausted from worrying about my parents. They called on my way home from work saying they were okay and almost home. My dad fractured his wrist and will get a cast tomorrow.

One thing is for sure, I don’t want my parents driving all the way from Aveline every time I need a babysitter. They can’t be my nannies. Once in a while, sure, but they need to be able to enjoy being grandparents without the obligation of driving into Miami almost every day.

I need a nanny, and my top pick is currently cuddled up next to my son. She may not be here forever, but I’m going to make the most of the time I have with her. Although, I’d like to convince her to stick around. She’s courageous and kind, and her beauty rivals even the coolest ocean sunrise I’ve seen.