Exposed (Let Me Love You #3)

Chapter 17

17

A FEW GOOD PULL UPS

PEPPER

F alling asleep in Simon’s bed last night was awful. I could’ve accidentally kicked him in my sleep. I woke up when Simon started crying around midnight and quickly excused myself to the guest room. Matt assured me it wasn’t a problem as he left the room to get Simon’s bottle ready.

“I’m sorry. Sleeping with him was dangerous. I could’ve rolled over on him,” I say for the hundredth time while we’re in Matt’s workout room. I’m wearing a t-shirt, sports bra and shorts that Matt bought for me. Believe me, I’m bringing that up next. I don’t know what his motive is for buying me stuff, but I’m about to find out. As soon as I redeem myself from the fact that I crawled inside a crib.

“His crib is small enough that you don’t have room to roll over on him.” He pauses to bang out a few reps of a lift where he squats while holding insanely looking heavy dumbbells on his shoulders, then explodes to a standing position and pushes the weights up above his head.

He’s shirtless, and the muscles in his torso and arms strain and stretch under the work. His chest and abs rise and fall and from the effort he just expended. Hot damn, I want to lick him.

“Pepper.” Matt’s voice breaks through my lust-filled thoughts.

“Hmm?” I move my eyes from his body to his blue gaze, and he’s grinning at me. He knows I was checking him out, and I feel my cheeks heat.

“I don’t care that you fell asleep with him, Pepper. I can work easy knowing you’re here caring for him,” Matt explains, wiping sweat from his brow.

Simon is kicking his feet and throwing his hands around on his little play mat in the corner of the workout room.

“I’ve watched babies hundreds of times, and I never once climbed in the crib with them. Simon was so fussy, and he calmed down as soon as I got in the crib. I sang to him, then I fell asleep accidentally.” Laying next to a sweet smelling, tiny baby was incredibly relaxing.

“You guys looked adorable in there together,” Matt grins.

“Well, it won’t happen again. But I’ve gotta say, once he can have a blanket, he’ll totally fall asleep with that cozy blanket. I’ve never felt anything so luscious.”

“It’s luscious ?” He laughs, then picks up his dumbbells for another set.

“That’s the best word to describe it,” I shrug. “Next subject. Why are you buying me clothes and shoes?”

Matt raises his eyebrows at me in the mirror as he lifts.

“What’s your motive, Matt? Be straight with me.”

Once he finishes his set, he turns to face me with his hands on his hips. His black shorts hang low on his waist, and his bare torso glistens with sweat. He’s luscious. I wanted to wrap myself up in Simon’s blanket last night, but right now, I’d much rather have Matt’s body wrapped around me.

I can’t forget the night when he made me come, and I’d like to do it again.

Focus. Find out what he wants.

“Have you ever had someone do something nice for you without wanting something in return?” He asks.

“No,” I shake my head.

“I like you, Pep. I do things for the people I care about.”

He does another set of reps that looks incredibly difficult with the big dumbbells he’s using, and I do the same lift with five-pound dumbbells he bought for me when he bought my clothes.

Yeah. Another nice thing he did. There are now dumbbells in his exercise room for guess who? Me.

I grew up in a home where my older sister and parents barely tolerated me. I dated a guy two years older than me in high school who taught me how to drive if I would have sex with him. I’m not used to people being kind to me without ulterior motives.

“Okay, want me to spot you on pull ups?” He asks when he’s ready to move on.

“Um, I guess.”

Hesitation tries to get the best of me, but I tamp it down. It’s a little nerve-wracking trying something new. My life has been spent mostly in survival mode. l’ve never had the time or resources to spend doing hobbies, but it’s adventurous and fun.

I like that he wants me involved with what he’s doing. Growing up, my parents wanted me to leave them alone. My sister was six years older than me and didn’t let me tag along with her.

“Come on. There’s nothing to it. I’ll hold you, and you try to pull your chin close to the bar.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s that simple,” I scoff playfully.

Placing his hands on my waist, he counts to three. When he lifts me, I squeal.

“I’ve got you, Pepper. Reach for the bar. I’ll help lift you up.”

“Okay. Okay,” I breathe out and laugh at how awkward I feel.

We do five reps of him doing most of the work.

“Come on. Give me one more,” he encourages, and I imagine him saying that in a completely different context.

I’m apparently a praise whore, because I rally and do two more.

When he lowers me to the ground, he pulls me into a quick hug, then pats my lower back.

“Good girl. That was amazing. You’re stronger than you think.”

I’m beaming. My muscles are weak, but I felt strong trying. My muscles tingle, and I rub my biceps.

“Feeling the burn?” He asks.

“I guess that’s it.”

He chuckles. “Let me do my set. Then, I’ll make us a recovery shake.”

Simon is cranky, so Matt straps him into the baby carrier for his pull ups. He does so many, I lose count. He doesn’t stop until he can only lift himself halfway up. He drops down and takes a deep breath, making Simon rise in his baby carrier on his chest.

“My last set, I always push myself to failure.”

“That’s intense,” I remark.

“It’s a good stress reliever. Speaking of stress, I need to apologize for last night.”

“You did already,” I say as I follow him to the kitchen to make us shakes.

“Yeah, but I owe you an explanation. Actually, we need to talk about a few things. Wanna grab showers, then we can talk? I don’t have work today except for editing galleries.”

“I don’t work until later, so that’s fine,” I agree.

Matt puts Simon in his baby rocker and carries him into the bathroom with him.

After we’re cleaned up, we settle in the living room. Simon lays on Matt’s chest on a blanket on the carpet, and I’m sitting on the couch with my legs tucked under me.

“My girlfriend Grace died in a car wreck four years ago,” Matt starts while I’m combing my hair out. I’m so shocked, I drop my comb.

“Grace is the serious girlfriend you told me about?”

“The only actual girlfriend I’ve had. I’ve dated around since then, but nothing legit.”

Getting to know Matt the last few days, I half expected her to come knocking on the door asking to reunite with him. I’d been wondering how he was single, because he seems like such an authentic, fun guy.

“It was raining.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. His hands trace circles on Simon’s back. Matt’s innocent gesture with his son looks like it’s what’s keeping him calm and present while he tells me about Grace. “We were out with Hope, her sister. Our car spun out on a dangerous stretch of the I-95 Express Toll. A car slammed into Hope and Grace’s side. Hope was injured but conscious. She was pinned to her seat by a piece of metal in her leg. I called 9-1-1 right away.”

Matt stops again, and tears roll down his cheeks. His chest rises and falls with jerky breaths, and Simon flails around on Matt’s torso.

“I’m moving a lot, huh, buddy,” Matt soothes his son and lifts his head to kiss Simon’s hair. He sits up and pushes his back against the couch, resting Simon on his chest with his forearm under his pajama covered bum.

“Hope was screaming for her sister, but we couldn’t get Grace to wake up. I was afraid to move Grace, but she wasn’t breathing. I couldn’t let her die. I gently laid her down on the backseat and Hope, who’s a nurse, talked me through CPR.”

Matt is such a formidable looking man, but he’s letting himself be vulnerable with me. Scooting closer to him, I rest my hand in his hair and slowly massage.

“The paramedics used the defibrillator on her several times and did CPR, but nothing brought her back. I continued CPR on Grace while they got Hope out of the car and secured in the ambulance. I told Grace to hold on, and that the doctors at the hospital would help her. I was freezing. It was like the sky had a whole ocean of water to pour on us. I’ve never been that cold.”

He shivers as if reliving the moment, then continues. “Hope was conscious while Grace was unresponsive. They couldn’t technically declare Grace dead, but they told me they believed she was. I rode in the ambulance with Hope, and the doctors immediately took her into surgery to fix her injured hip. I went back to Grace then. An ER doctor declared her dead, but I refused to believe it. When they gave me time to say goodbye to her, I climbed onto the hospital bed to hold her lifeless body. I told her over and over again that she couldn’t leave me. I’d never been with anyone but her, and I thought I’d never find love again.”

“I can’t imagine, Matt,” I say softly.

“That’s why I went nuts about my parents’ accident.”

“You didn’t go that nuts, and it makes sense. I’m sorry you lost her.”

“I can’t let them keep driving here everyday to watch Simon. I need a nanny.”

This is where he tells me I need to leave. I start to pull my hand back from massaging his head, but he gently grips my hand and interlocks his fingers with mine.

“The lab called today with the paternity results. Simon is 100% my kid. I’m not surprised, but it makes this more real.”

“I bet,” I nod.

“He’s totally dependent on me, and being his parent is a huge responsibility. I want to give him the best. I’m not asking you to leave, Pep. I’m asking you to stay and be Simon’s nanny, because you’re the best one for the job,” he announces as he turns to look in my eyes. His blue eyes plead with mine, and I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

“You want me to be Simon’s nanny?” I ask incredulously. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough. I watched you catering at three different weddings. You’re caring, and you’re a fighter.”

“That’s not stalkerish,” I joke.

“I can’t help that you were working the same weddings I was,” he chuckles and playfully pushes my calf, then an alarm goes off on his phone. “Time to feed Simon. Come with me.”

We walk into the kitchen, and I hold Simon while Matt makes his bottle.

“I’m usually hyper focused on work, but from the first minute I saw you, I thought about you even while I was working. Every time you served a little girl, you’d give her a curtsy before you walked away,” he shares.

He noticed me do that? “I called them princess. Every little girl should feel like one,” I murmur.

He gives me a soft smile. “You’re right, they should. Every time you served a little boy, you’d bow, then give him a little salute.”

“Cheesing it up with the little kids is my favorite part of the job.”

It certainly isn’t getting hit on by the guys. Serving them food and drinks makes some of them think they’ll serve your pussy to them on a platter. I’d rather hit them over the side of the head with the tray I’m holding. Some pervert tries to cop a feel at every catering event I work, and it’s getting old.

“You said you don’t like catering. Be Simon’s nanny. I need someone I’m comfortable with, and you’re it.”

Being Simon’s nanny would be loads better than catering, but I couldn’t ask Matt to pay me. Not when I’m already staying here for free. I need money.

“I need to have a job so I can pay you rent.”

Matt reaches for Simon with the prepared bottle. “Please, Pepper. I work 10-hour days on the weekends when I do weddings, and I work during the week, too. Simon needs a reliable nanny, and I can’t expect my parents to watch him while I work a full-time job. I'll pay you double what you were making with the catering job. You’ll make the money you need twice as fast. And I don’t need you to pay me rent.”

The catering job doesn’t pay that well, but they didn’t blink an eye when I gave them my fake ID. “I can’t ask you to pay me when I’m staying at your house for free. And you’ve already bought me shoes and clothes. And dumbbells.”

“Taking care of my son while I work is a huge weight off my shoulders. Compensating you generously is the least I can do.”

“I’ll pay you back.”

“Don’t pay me back. Pay it forward to someone else who needs it,” he insists while he feeds Simon.

“I’m supposed to work tonight,” I sigh.

“I’m sorry to ask you to quit. Actually, I’m not. Nannying Simon is a way better gig.”

“Since you’re working from home today, I’ll work tonight as my last shift and quit,” I suggest.

“Good. That company always has plenty of servers. They’ll be fine. I only have one you ,” he urges.

“Wow. Way to guilt trip me.”

“Is it working?” He grins.

“Yeah.” I’m ecstatic I can be done with that job.

A tooting sound erupts from Simon’s backside, followed by a potent odor.

“Good push, little dude. Let’s get you cleaned up,” Matt chuckles as he carries him to the changing area he has set up in the living room.

Before I take this job, I have to share the secret I’ve been hiding from him. It’s only fair, because he may not want me watching his son after he knows.

While Matt is changing Simon’s diaper, I gather the determination to go for it. Ripping the band-aid off is the best way to do this.