Fake Game (The System #3)

Chapter Seventeen

SEVENTEEN

JACKSON

I toss for what feels like the fiftieth time in the last hour.

I just can’t fall asleep on this fucking couch. I don’t care how custom or expensive it is, it doesn’t make up for an actual bed. My bed. Which is less than twenty feet away. The very same bed a woman whose face won’t leave my mind is lying in.

I flip over, shoving my cheek against the pillow as I attempt to get somewhat comfortable. I’ve been trying to count sheep to empty my brain, but they just keep morphing from fluffy white animals to fluffy pink ones.

I’m starting to think I might have a serious problem.

A squeaking noise has me pausing, my body locking up as I strain to hear where it came from.

I swear to God, if Aleks and Stevie are fucking again, I’m going to murder them.

Our streaming rooms might be soundproof, but our bedrooms aren’t, and the living room echoes sound like a damn canyon.

The noise comes again, but this time it sounds a little different. There’s a hitch in the tone.

It…

It almost sounds like someone’s crying.

I bolt up, throwing off my blanket. A sinking feeling churns throughout my stomach. My feet slap against the tiles as I make a beeline for my bedroom. There’s no light creeping out from under the door, but as I lean my ear toward the wood, I hear muffled wheezing.

My fingers twitch on the door handle, but when a hiccup slips through, so does my resolve. I push the door open.

My room is cloaked in darkness, the only light coming from some charging cables in the corner.

There’s a sharp intake of breath, and the entire room feels like it is frozen in time as I move forward. My eyes start to adjust, and I make out her small form huddled in a ball, twisted in the sheets. I’m careful not to scare her as I climb onto the mattress, reaching a tentative hand out to rest on the sheet covering her body. Her breath comes in short, quiet intervals—like she is barely restraining herself from hyperventilating. I’m unable to stop my thumb from moving on its own, rubbing in a slow circular pattern.

I don’t say anything and neither does she.

She’s been here for a little over a week and this is the second night I’ve caught her having some sort of a nightmare. My throat thickens as I think about the weeks she spent before coming here when she was holed up in her apartment all alone. How many times did this happen after the incident? How many nights did she cry alone?

No wonder she looked a mess when I picked her up. She’d probably given up on sleeping altogether.

Deer releases another hiccup, but her body begins to relax under my hand. I feel some of the tension ease from the tight curl she’s been holding as her muscles start to melt.

Without giving it too much thought, I lower my body to the mattress. I curve into something like a C shape, molding myself into a fence of safety around her. My hand doesn’t leave her once in the process, anchoring her to me.

She begins to wriggle, and I spot the tips of her fingers as they emerge from beneath her cocoon. Those pointy nails curve around the edge of the sheet and slowly move it down until her eyes crest. She holds the sheet there, tight against the bridge of her nose as she blinks those puffy doe eyes at me. I don’t need light to know that they’re bloodshot.

“Hi.”

The corners of my lips threaten to quirk up.

Damn, she’s cute.

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Again.”

I shake my head, bringing my hand up to rest against the crown of her head. “You didn’t.” The pads of my fingers burrow into her locks as I start to massage her.

Deer’s eyes flutter shut as she leans back into my touch.

“Thank you.”

A golden light warms my chest at her words.

“I told you, you don’t need to suffer alone.”

Her eyes blink open and her brows pinch. “Practice what you preach.”

“I’m not the one barricading myself in a blanket fortress to avoid my issues.”

She lets out a small huff of air and I smile.

Her gaze turns wary, and she grips the edge of the sheet more tightly.

“Do you think…”

“I do think. Maybe a little too much.”

I see the corners of her eyes crinkle with a hidden smile. That warmth in my chest spreads.

“Do you think you could stay?”

My hand halts in its path as I blink down at her. Her eyes widen before she pulls the sheet back over her head.

“You know what? Never mind. That was dumb. Ignore me.”

“Hey. Wait a second.” I grab the sheet near where she has it curled in her fist and tug. “Deer, look at me.”

“No.” Her knuckles whiten as she keeps me from pulling the fabric back down.

I let out a sigh.

It always feels like two steps forward, three steps back with her. I’ve never noticed before, but she really keeps people at arm’s length. You just never realize it because she always acts so friendly.

I push myself up, resting on my elbows as I search for the corner of the sheet. Once I find it, I slip off the bed.

“Wait!” Deer pops out from her cocoon, pure fear etched into her features.

My chest splits open.

I lift the sheet up and slide under it, joining her in bed. “Shh,” I hum. Without giving it much thought, I curl my arms around her. “I’m not going anywhere; I was just getting more comfortable.”

Her body stiffens in my hold, and I can feel her heart thumping against the back of her ribs. After what feels like a beat too long, she lets out a breath, her frame slumping. Her breathing starts to regulate, matching my own as she calms down.

“Thank you,” she mutters against my chest, her wet cheeks pressing against me.

“You don’t have to keep thanking me.”

She shrugs and I thread one of my hands back through her hair, pulling her tighter to me.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to come check on me.”

“True.”

“Except you did because you’re a nice person.”

“I thought you said I was the grumpiest person you’ve ever known.”

“Can’t you let me give you a compliment?”

“No.”

She lets out a small laugh. One of her arms unfurls and inches out to wrap around my waist. A thousand lights zap against my skin at the contact. I steel myself as she snuggles closer, unable to ignore the way her breasts are pushing up against my bare chest.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Come on, Jackson. You’re here to comfort her, not to fuck her.

I gulp, my Adam’s apple feeling like a thirty-pound rock as I try to center my thoughts. My dick really needs to get the memo that now is seriously not the fucking time.

Except, it seems like the world is hell-bent on making this hard for me.

Deer shifts, bringing her knees higher to her chest, which causes them to graze against my cock in the process. She lets out a sleepy sigh while I stifle a groan.

Against my better judgement, I let my arm slide down her body until my hand stops at the small of her back. I’m tempted to let it linger lower but stop myself before I do something I can’t take back. Just being in here, being in bed with her, is too much.

I shouldn’t be holding her like this.

I shouldn’t be doing any of this.

She’s vulnerable right now, broken. Who am I to take advantage of that?

I’m not that sort of guy.

We’re barely even friends.

I look down at her.

Fuck.

I’m so fucked.