Fake Game (The System #3)

Chapter Eighteen

EIGHTEEN

DEER

“ W here would you like this, miss?”

“In the bedroom, please.”

I smile at the mover even though it feels like I face-planted into a bee’s nest. My cheeks are all chubby and pushing against my eyes as I try to make sure the grin doesn’t constipated.

I’d like to think I managed to cover up most of the blotchy redness from my tears with the eighty-dollar foundation I slapped on my skin at the ass crack of dawn, but there’s nothing I can do about the puffiness other than sticking my face in an ice bucket.

I don’t hate myself enough to do that.

Yet.

“All right, that’s the last of the boxes.” Sydney breaches the doorway, eyes glued to a clipboard in her hand. “Are you fine with them unpacking and organizing, too?”

I look at the mountain of boxes just in the living room. I have absolutely zero motivation to open them. Maybe I should’ve just thrown everything out and started new. Minimalism is pretty in right now.

“I’m going to take that as a yes.”

I give her a half-assed smile, and she rolls her eyes playfully before going to speak with the movers.

Thank the Gods she came to help me out. I’d be seriously lost without her.

Literally. I can’t even see over some of these boxes.

I look around my new place, which is a lot larger than I expected. Even with all the boxes piled up, I can tell I lucked out with the stunning open floor plan and two massive bedrooms. When Parker said he was getting the apartment repainted, I thought he meant because the previous tenants ruined the walls. Nope. He’d gotten the entire apartment painted an extremely sheer pastel pink color. He even went so far as to get a doorbell system installed to give me peace of mind. It seems a little much for an apartment on the fortieth floor of a high security building, but it makes me feel better now that I’m living alone again.

I gnaw on my bottom lip as that sinking feeling returns.

It is going to be an adjustment, not having Jackson down the hall. Sure, he’s just an elevator ride away, but it’s not the same. His body emits waves that calm my nerves, and I just feel safer when he’s around.

Point in case, last night was the best sleep I’d had in weeks.

Even though I woke up this morning to an empty bed.

Sure, I mean, I know he goes to the gym at 6 a.m. like clockwork, but…I don’t know.

All my stuff is out of the penthouse now, too. I don’t even have a legitimate reason to head back up there unless I want to seem needy or annoying.

My phone buzzes repeatedly, and I pull it out to see a notification from my mod.

RICK: groceries are on their way. Should arrive by seven

RICK: and I’m having a sponsored package from that cosmetics company rerouted to ur new place

RICK: and don’t forget to dip into the Discord tonight

ME: thanks :) appreciate it

RICK: do you want me to keep ur stream scheduled this week?

ME: ……..I guess

ME: I still have to set up my stuff tho

RICK: k – just let me know

I let out a small puff of air as I weave my way into my new streaming room. I’ve already begun unpacking in here. I didn’t trust Parker’s movers enough to handle my set up beyond getting the furniture situated—my PC build alone is worth a couple of grand, and some of the gear is custom. Replacing any of it would be hell.

Trying to distract myself, I begin unboxing all the individual components and cords, setting them up on my desk in just the right way. It’s meticulous and keeps my brain focused as I perfect the aesthetic I’ve spent years curating—which is basically bubblegum e-girl-core.

After what feels like way too long, I plug the final cord into the outlet and watch as the room comes to life. My PC is an ombre pink lightshow, my keyboard sports a flickering rainbow wave, the LEDs lining the ceiling shine a bright magenta, and my gamertag shines on a neon pink sign on the wall. A calm settles over me as my safe haven returns to me.

I hadn’t realized how much I missed having my own streaming room. Part of me worried that I would never feel at peace in here again after the incident. Granted, I tweaked the room setup slightly from how it used to be—no sense moving into a new place and creating a mirror of my old one. But still.

I move on to another box, ripping it open to reveal my streaming equipment. My fingers pause on the edges, the contents inside glaring back at me.

I’d taken a bit of a break from live streaming since moving in with the guys. It’s not like I could stream from Parker’s room without people asking questions. I’ve just been uploading prerecorded content to my channels. But now that I have my space again…

Come on, Deer.

I take a deep breath and begin lifting out the pieces of my ring light. There is no way I would let this haunt me. The longer I avoid it, the worse it will get. I’m not going to lose my career to these assholes.

“I was wondering where you disappeared to.”

Sydney crouches next to me on the floor as I screw my ring light together, her cherry perfume floating into the space.

“I’m sure you had to look super hard.”

“I did. You’re small and easy to miss.”

“Hey, I’m not that much shorter than you.”

“Says the person who can buy children’s shoes.”

My jaw falls open. “You’ve been spending too much time with your boyfriend. You used to be nicer.”

“I won’t argue that.” She drops to the ground and begins flicking through her phone. “I was thinking we could order in and christen your new place—see if Lee and Stevie are free, maybe?”

Relief floods me at the thought of not having to be alone.

“Sure, let’s get Ace Burger.”

“Already one step ahead of you.” She tilts her phone my way to show the online ordering app.

“Ugh, I love you and all your planning.” I turn to give her a genuine smile as I pluck the phone from her.

Syd’s eyes flick over my face, her expression faltering for a second. She opens her mouth to say something but ends up just clenching her jaw together.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s never nothing with you.”

She lets out a sigh.

“Sydney.”

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re looking better than a few weeks ago, but…” She pulls her lower lip between her teeth.

“But.”

“But you still look…not…great.”

I give her an unamused side-eye.

“Like I said, you’re looking better. Seriously.” Her smile borders on a wince. “But I don’t know. Are you getting any sleep?”

The metal nut I’d been in the middle of twisting slips from my fingers onto my new rug.

“What did Jackson tell you?”

One of her blonde brows rises. “Nothing,” she says slowly, carefully drawing out the letters.

Shit.

“Why?”

I shrug, digging my fingers into the soft rug, searching for the nut so I can finish setting up this stupid ring light. Sydney stays silent, and I can tell she wants to push me but is afraid I’ll snap back at her. Which I might. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s bad enough that Jackson knows about the nightmares, if everyone else hears about them…they’ll never leave me alone.

And it’s getting better. I know it’s getting better.

I’m not waking up screaming anymore.

“Yikes, who killed the vibe in here?”

We whip our heads around to see Lee leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey,” I smile. “We were just about to text you about grabbing food.”

“Like this?” She holds up two white plastic bags with her left hand, grinning.

“You’re a mind reader.”

“If only.” She laughs and nods her head back. “Come on. I just passed your movers on the way out. We have the place to ourselves, and I’m starving to death.”

Syd and I watch as she disappears back into the body of the apartment. I remain rooted to the floor, but Syd gives my knee a pat before she stands up.

“Come on, before she starts whining for us.” She holds her hand out to me.

I take her hand and let her pull me up. There’s a short pause as that concern returns and flushes over her features again, but she just gives my hand a squeeze before letting go and following Lee.

I close my eyes, imagining all my stress falling off my skin like dripping water. When I reopen them, I feel a little more human again.

Lee has already made herself at home on my couch, her legs kicked under her ass as she fiddles with the remote for my TV.

“The movers didn’t hook anything up, so I took the liberty of doing it. You’re welcome,” she preens, flipping to one of my many streaming services.

“Thank you, Oh Goddess Lee, whatever would I do without you?”

“Why do I have such strange friends,” Sydney sighs, settling on the couch next to me.

“Stop, you love us.” I blow her a kiss.

She rolls her eyes—she always rolls her eyes—and begins ripping open the takeout bags Lee brought. The smell of melted cheese and ketchup wafts around us as we settle in.

“By the way, are you guys busy Sat?” Lee reaches forward and grabs her burger, taking a large bite.

“Why?” I steal a fry from her lap.

“There’s this content creator party downtown.”

I wrinkle my nose. “Pass.”

“Aw, come on. You’re not going to make me go alone.”

Dammit. See, now this is why I always ended up going out. It wasn’t because I ever wanted to but because I would never let Lee go alone. My sense of Girl Code is too strong, even if my social anxiety pulses like a beacon during a storm at the idea.

“You could always get one of the boys to go with you,” Syd offers. “I ended up having to move their streaming schedule around that day so they could have it free.”

“Why?”

“Jackson’s sister has another piano thing.”

My ears perk up, and I try to sound casual as I ask, “Where is that again?”

“The recital? Her high school, I think.”

“Back down in Oceanside?”

“Mm, yeah.” She pops a fry in her mouth, chewing on it as her eyes narrow. “Why?”

“Just curious.”

She holds a limp sweet potato fry out and uses it to gesture at me. “I can smell your lies from a mile away. What are you cooking?”

“Nothing bad. Exactly.” I avert my gaze. “Just helping a friend out. Maybe. I don’t know. I haven’t decided.”

Lee’s eyes pop wide as a sly smile spreads across her face. “Ooooh. Right.”

Sydney whips her head between the two of us so fast I worry she’s going to pull a muscle. “Deer, spill.”

“No. You might get mad at me, and I haven’t even done anything.”

A cool wave washes over her features—her publicist persona kicking into gear. “God dammit. What did the boys do?” She tosses her fry on the table and goes to grab her phone. “I swear, they can’t let me live in peace for a minute.”

“No!” I slap my hand over hers. “No. It’s…Gods.”

“You better explain or I’m going to call them all right now.”

“Fine, fine.” I slump back against my couch, and Lee lets out a cackle. “If we’re going to point the finger anywhere, Stevie is the one who started the whole idea. Okay?”