Falling for Ezra Thomas (Life With the Thomas Brothers #4)

19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

Lorelai

I sigh and stare out the window, unable to get the letter I read this morning out of my mind.

Dear Lorelai,

I have some news. It’s kind of a big deal, so I hope you’re sitting down. If not, maybe do that real quick. I wanted to tell you this over the phone, but we lost privileges thanks to one of the guys acting like an idiot.

Remember a few weeks ago I said our sergeant pulled us aside? Well, today he pulled Masterson, Olson, and me aside again and had a short discussion with us about our careers. He recommended something that shocked me, but I want you to know that this is something for us to talk about together. I’m not going to jump into it without getting your input, because I think we have a future together, Lore. And any decisions I make, need to include you if that’s true.

So, here it goes. He said the three of us show potential, and he thinks we should apply for the Rangers. I never thought that would happen, but I guess hard work and determination really do pay off. I know this is a lot different from what we expected, but when I say I want your input, I mean it. Truly. I want honesty if we’re going to make this work. I’m not sure if it’s what I want to do at this point. I need to think about it, ask a few questions, and discuss it with you and my family.

Speaking of which, I hate to strap you with this, but can you please tell my family about this? When we do get a phone call, it won’t be for long and I want to know what they think.

I’m due a phone call in a few days, maybe even before you get this, but just in case, I promise we can talk about this more then. I’m nervous. I’m praying. I don’t know what else to say about it other than it seems like a great opportunity, but not one I anticipated so it feels a lot scarier than it might have been otherwise. It’s no small thing. I’m not sure how my family will take it—honestly, I think my mother still works under the impression I can decide this isn’t the job for me and give a two-week notice—but most of all, I’m afraid of setting things back with you.

I shouldn’t tell you this in a letter, but I’m about to burst. I can’t hold it in any longer. I love you, Lorelai. I don’t know when it happened, maybe even before I left and it’s grown into something more recognizable while separated from you, but no matter how it happened, I love you. I want what is best for you, for us, and whatever future we can have together.

I hope to talk to you soon.

Love always,

Ezra

To say I am stressed does not fully encompass my emotional turmoil, but I keep myself calm by reminding myself that Ezra won’t do anything rash without talking to me. I matter to him. He…loves me. I wish I could hear those words rather than read them, but despite the delivery method, I know they’re true.

And now I have to figure out how to tell Vivien.

She stands in front of a triple-full-length mirror, inspecting her gown for her first fitting. She looks gorgeous, simply stunning, and I know if I break it to her while we’re here, she’ll get snot all over this beautiful gown. Not to mention the fact that our mother and Ezra’s are here with us. But I can’t keep it a secret. He might call any day, and he asked me to help him out.

I clear my throat, earning everyone’s attention.

“Do you see something that needs to be altered?” Vivien asks, turning around again to look at the dress from behind.

“Oh, uh, no. Um…okay, out with it.” I wipe my hands on my pants and meet my sister’s gaze. For some reason, speaking directly to her seems less daunting than telling Ezra’s mother. “So, I got a letter from Ez this morning, and he asked me to—”

“Oh, how sweet,” Mrs. Thomas says. “I bet there are some waiting at home for the rest of us. I can’t wait.” The way she beams makes it even harder to tell her the truth. There probably aren’t any letters, and she’s not going to like what’s in them if there are.

“About that, he asked me to give you all a message.” All eyes glue to me. “He received a recommendation from his drill instructor. I suppose he and two other men exhibit the characteristics they look for in potential Rangers, and they are encouraging him to apply.”

Mrs. Thomas drops her purse and her mouth falls open. I have no doubt she is presently rethinking her parenting methods, wishing she’d let her boys be a little less responsible and a little more hard to handle, then maybe Ezra wouldn’t be perfect at this soldier thing.

“He…what?” she asks.

I raise my hands to calm her. “He said he wouldn’t make any decisions without talking it out with all of us first, so don’t worry about that. He only wanted me to tell you because I guess they lost phone privileges or something. Anyway, he wanted you to be prepared when he does call.”

Vivien sits on the overstuffed chair beside the mirror. “Wow,” she breathes. “Beck is going to take this hard.”

“I’m sorry to dump this on you. I wasn’t sure when the best time would be and…well…I guess this wasn’t really it either.” I bite my lip.

Mom sighs and puts her things down before turning to hug Mrs. Thomas. They carry a quiet conversation that seems to help Ezra’s mother manage her shock, but Vivien continues to stare at me. I realize she might be hurt that Ezra wrote to me and not to her, his best friend.

“Viv, I’m sorry. I know you’re his best—”

She rises from the chair and waves her hands. “Lore, no. Stop. I think it’s time we tell the truth. Ezra and I might have been best friends for most of our lives, but things have changed. I’m marrying Beck, and you have Ezra’s heart. It’s only right and natural that our friendship fades a little. I want you to be his priority, okay?”

“Still, it can’t be easy. I’m not trying to come between you.”

“You’re not coming between anything. The four of us will be besties until death. You won’t shake Beck and me.”

“Besties until death? You make that sound like a horror show, honestly,” I tease, but I know what she’s saying. She and Beck will share things that Ezra won’t be a part of, and he’s okay with that. And if things really do work out with Ezra and me, we’ll have that same bond…and I’m happy to know Vivien is okay with it too.

“Eh, well, you know what I mean. Now, how do we convince Mrs. Thomas that Ezra’s not going to run off and become some kind of super soldier without her blessing?” she asks.

“I feel like that’s something you should tackle. I broke the news, now you should go fix it.” I wave towards the mothers, praying Mrs. Thomas can see things from her son’s point of view.

“I still can’t believe what you told us this afternoon,” Mom says before slowly sipping her tea. “I mean, on one hand I’ve always known what a hard-working team player Ezra is, but to be encouraged to apply for—oh, I don’t even want to think about it.” She shakes her head as if it’s her child considering a career where putting his life in danger regularly is just another day on the job. In some ways, I suppose it is.

“Honey, it’s hard enough on Lorelai to consider that without—”

“No, no, it’s okay, Dad. I understand why Mom is so upset. I expected it, and trust me, there’s nothing she can say that would make it any harder for me to process.”

Beck, Vivien, and I joined Mom and Dad for dinner, which is proving to be an extended conversation about what we all think Ezra should do. However, despite him wanting to include his family in his decision-making process, I think he should do what he’s inclined to do. After all, he joined because he felt compelled to do so. If applying to be a Ranger and going through many more grueling weeks of training is what he wants, who am I to tell him no?

Vivien glances at me. “I hate to say this, but I think the main reason he’s holding off on making a decision is because so many people got mad at him for joining the Army to begin with.”

“I was in shock and mad that he didn’t tell anyone, not that he joined,” Beck says.

“I know, but the argument you said you had with him was intense, and he probably doesn’t want that again.” She runs her hand over his arm, freshly out of a cast. He clasps her hand and smiles, though it’s forced and as weak as my stomach feels.

“It would be best if we supported him and if there is a reason anyone thinks he shouldn’t, we should probably talk it out rather than bombard him with our concerns.” Dad’s pragmatic approach is probably right, since most of our concerns will stem from fear and selfish desire to have him safe at home. “We need to consider what Ezra’s life will be like either way and try not to be selfish.”

Mom sighs and rests her fork on the edge of her plate. “I’m not trying to be selfish, but you try comforting one of your best friends when all she can think about is…well, you know.” She’s referring to Mrs. Thomas falling apart at the bridal shop and she glances at Dad with a somewhat scolding glare.

He sighs. The tension is killing me, so when my phone rings, I startle. “Who could that be?” I glance and don’t recognize the number. It’s not the area code Ezra said to watch for, so I don’t suspect it’s him…but it’s still a Georgia area code. “Will you excuse me?”

I don’t wait for anyone to respond before leaving the dining room. In the off chance that it is Ezra, I don’t want to miss it. When I reach the privacy of the guest bedroom that used to be my childhood room, I close the door and answer.

“Hello?”

“Lorelai Mays? This is Dr. Esposito at the University of Georgia.” My heart sinks that it isn’t Ezra, but I’m also intrigued as to why one of my former college professors has called me.

“Yes, this is Lorelai. How are you Dr. Esposito?”

“I’m doing well, thank you, but I hear you recently quit your position at Chatswain Emergency Veterinary Care. CEVC is a prominent office in the southeast, Lorelai. What happened?”

I swallow hard and remember he was the doctor who helped me get the job that almost killed me. As I run down the list of reasons why I left CEVC, I start to wonder if I overreacted. I was tired, run down, and needed a break. Still, what’s done is done, and I highly doubt I can go back. I’m still not sure I want to.

“I had no idea these were concerns. My colleagues will be disappointed to know the working conditions are not what we hoped for such a large scale and well-known practice.”

“Can I ask how you heard?” I hold my breath, wondering just how blacklisted I might be.

He chuckles. “Let’s just say, one of the doctors hoped I could convince you to return. Things don’t run as smoothly without, shall we say, doctors who are amicable to the public?”

“Ah, gotcha. He ran out of nice doctors and the clients hate what’s left. Got it.” I’m also not at all surprised.

“Nevertheless, I can’t see how they can right a ship quite as wrong as that one based on what you’ve told me. This brings me to the next topic I wanted to discuss with you. I have a position open for an assistant in the surgical department. I know it isn’t exactly what you planned, but you were one of my favorite students, Lorelai. If you want the position, the job is yours.”

“You mean at the teaching hospital?” I ask, my hands shaking from utter shock.

“Of course. You would be the liaison between the patients’ owners and the staff, but you’ll have many hours of hands-on work with the patients as well. You don’t have to answer right away, as I know it will mean relocating for you. Think about it and let me know next week what you think. I’ll email you the official contract to look over, which lists things like benefits and salary.”

“Oh, wow,” I whisper, unable to form coherent sentences. “I appreciate the offer, thank you, Dr. Esposito.”

“Of course, Lorelai. I appreciate your dedication to veterinary medicine and your hard-working attitude.”

“Thank you so much. That means a lot coming from you.”

He chuckles again. “Well, I won’t take up more of your evening. Think about it and let me know what you think.”

“Will do, thank you again.”

We say our goodbyes and I sit on my old bed, pondering this offer. It’s an amazing opportunity to work in the teaching hospital at the same university where I graduated, but it’s still veterinary medicine. It’s even higher stress than the one I just left, but at least the doctors and staff are much kinder and fun to be around. I loved my surgical rotations, and working there would be a dream…for someone confident that she's on the right career path.

But I’m not.

I sigh and push off the bed with another bag of bricks on my shoulders. The offer is amazing, but I can’t deny the weight of it makes my choices even more difficult to pick apart. And I still haven’t talked to Mr. Thomas about opening my own practice, which seems more and more like something I don’t want to manage as the days pass.

I have to do something, though, so I wait for the email to come through and open the contract. It’s six figures of bliss with a benefits package that can’t be beat, but it doesn’t trigger any sort of emotion—not joy, not excitement, nothing. The only real emotion I can process is worry for what all of this might mean for Ezra and me.

Otherwise, I feel nothing, and part of me wonders if that’s my answer after all.