Feathers and Thorne Series Books 1 - 3: The Complete Collection

Chapter Five

Isabella

I avert my gaze and stare at the window overlooking the city’s skyline. Although there are bright blue skies outside, and the sun is high in the sky, the cheerful weather does nothing to lift my spirits.

And it doesn’t chase away the darkness settling around my heart. Nothing can. A part of me wonders if anything ever will.

It’s been eight days of doctor’s visits and nurses poking at my arms and sides while Carter lingers in the background. Eight days of being examined, my every flaw and every weakness scrutinized as if the hospital is going to be able to fix what’s wrong with me. My blood pressure remains frustratingly low, and I’ve lost more weight than when I first came in, and no one can understand why.

Except for Sam.

She’s the only other person who knows the truth about how I got away from Rich. The only person I can bear to talk to about it.

Everyone else hovers, well-intentioned and watchful but never daring to imagine the truth.

As hard as it is for me to watch Carter struggle, especially when I hear him pacing at night, and whenever I see him arguing with the other Blackthornes, I know this is for the best. Carter met me when I was pure and unspoiled, as far removed from the violence of his day-to-day life as possible. Up until a week ago, he and I were from two completely different worlds.

Now, whenever I look at my hands or catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, all I see is red. Red staining my clothes, my soul, and every available surface.

I feel like I’m losing my mind, but I’m powerless to stop it. And a small part of me wonders if it’s the least I deserve for taking another man’s life.

Sam waves her hand in front of my face and perches on the edge of the bed. “Are you even listening to me?”

I blink and swing my gaze back to Sam’s. She has a little more color in her cheeks, and her clothes are actually clean, but seeing her so put together and in control only makes me feel worse.

Because I know I can’t go back to that.

Sam sighs and inches closer. “Isabella, you can’t keep beating yourself up over this. Have you ever known me to be a liar?”

I frown. “No, but what does that have to do with anything?”

Sam shifts even closer and holds my gaze. “I wouldn’t lie to you about this, Isabella. You did what you had to do, and I would’ve done the same thing.”

A lump rises in the back of my throat. “You and I talked about the kind of world I’m going to bring my baby into, and we talked about not wanting that to affect the baby…”

Sam winces. “Yes, but this is different.”

“How is this different?” I throw my hands up in the air and shake my head. “These hands have blood on them, just like Carter’s. My baby isn’t even here yet, and I’m already a terrible mother.”

The kind who can’t even keep her head above water.

The Blackthorne mansion seems like another time, one that is so far removed from the present that it feels like another life altogether. And another me, one untainted by blood and destruction.

Sam stands up and runs a hand over her face. “You need to tell Carter the truth. He’s not handling any of this well, and it’s affecting the business.”

My gaze snaps up to hers. “What are you talking about?”

Sam glances over her shoulders and then back at me. “I overheard Tristan and Paul talking the other day. The war with the Natoris and Philipses isn’t over. They’re trying to negotiate a truce, but it’s not going well.”

A shiver of fear races up my spine. “What do they want?”

“They want some of the Blackthorne territories,” Sam whispers, with another fearful look over her shoulders. “Carter is furious, and he keeps pushing back, but his head isn’t in it.”

I search Sam’s face. “I never asked him to do this. I didn’t ask for any of this.”

Sam nods, and her expression softens. “I know, but you had a chance to walk away, and you didn’t. So, like it or not, this is your life now.”

I exhale. “Can’t Tristan talk to Carter?”

Sam pulls a face and shakes her head, wisps of dark hair flying out of her bun. “He’s tried, but Carter won’t listen to anyone. He barely sleeps, barely eats, and spends most of his time in your room or prowling the hallway. I don’t think he’s even set foot outside the hospital since you’ve been here.”

I gasp. “But he… he can’t be here all the time. He’s got an empire to run.”

Sam sinks into the nearest chair and runs her fingers through her hair. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when this is all over, I’m not even sure there’s going to be an empire left.”

Fear and panic snake their way through me and climb up my chest.

“What are we going to do, Sam?”

Sam throws her head back and stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t know what the right thing to do is. I honestly don’t, but I do know that it has to start with you and Carter talking. I don’t see another way forward.”

“We tried talking,” I whisper, mostly to myself. “And it didn’t work out for us.”

On the contrary, it just made things worse. I’ve never felt further away from the man I love, and it is eating me up inside. Almost as much as the guilt and shame are.

Sam sighs. “I think you need to try again. Your issues are not going to be resolved in a day, Isabella.”

I press my lips together and don’t say anything.

Sam gets up to leave the room, and Carter bursts in, his eyes wide and wild. He points at Sam, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and down the sides of his face. “Get onto the bed, now.”

Sam’s brows furrow together. “What the hell is the matter with you? This isn’t the time or place for—”

Carter crosses over to Sam and places a hand over her mouth. “For fuck’s sake, I need you to stop arguing with me and do as you’re told. Natori men are here, and they’re looking for Isabella.”

I swing my legs over the side of the bed, and Carter helps me to my feet. “Where are we going to go? There’s nowhere for us to hide.”

Carter grips my hand in his. “Yes, there is. Get under the bed.”

On shaky legs, Sam climbs onto the bed and draws the covers up to her chest. Her eyes are wide and shining with worry as Carter slides across the floor and under the bed. After a brief pause, he pulls me down, and I follow his lead, pausing to tuck myself into his side, my heart hammering unsteadily the entire time.

Sam bolts up, retrieves a heavy blanket from the closet, and returns to the bed. She lets the sides of the blanket cover both sides of the bed, offering better coverage. Then the bed dips and creaks as she climbs onto it and releases a deep and shaky breath.

“What about Tristan and Paul?” Sam’s voice is low, but there’s no mistaking the fear in it. “Are they safe?”

“Tristan was discharged a few minutes ago. He, Paul, and Ernesto were on their way out when they got the news. Paul and Ernesto are nearby, but Tristan is waiting somewhere safe nearby for backup.” Carter’s voice is a low whisper that sends shivers racing up and down my spine. He has one arm around my shoulders, and the other is between us, resting against my stomach.

I feel like I’m going to throw up.

“What if they recognize Sam?” I whisper directly into Carter’s ear. “We shouldn’t be asking her to do this.”

“They won’t recognize her,” Carter insists in an equally soft voice. “She’s going to be fine.”

“Somebody’s coming,” Sam hisses before throwing herself back onto the mattress. Moments later, the door clicks open, and I hold my breath as three sets of heavy footsteps come into the room. Carter’s grip on my shoulders tightens, and I bury my face in the crook of his neck.

If they find us under the bed, they’re going to drag me away, and Carter isn’t going to be able to do a thing to stop them.

He’s only one man. And even on his worst days, he’s had backup.

Even I know that if push comes to shove, Carter is not going to be able to save Sam and me.

I squeeze my eyes shut, letting Carter’s smell wash over me, and pray he doesn’t have to make that decision. Carter is as still as a statue, but I feel the erratic pulse of his heart. I strain to hear what’s happening, but I can barely make out anything over the pounding in my ears. Then Carter places a hand over my mouth, and my eyes fly open to look at him.

My beautiful, broken man is looking at me like I’m his salvation. Like I’m the answer to his prayers.

As if I haven’t single-handedly destroyed any chance of a future we might have. I press my forehead to his, a single tear sliding down my cheek.

Sam stops snoring, and I hear her sit up. “What’s going on? Who are you?”

“We’re looking for someone.” A deep voice answers. “A young woman, small, dark hair.”

“This is my room,” Sam replies, an air of haughtiness in her voice. “And I don’t appreciate you barging in here like this. I’m going to call security, and then I’m going to call my father, who is a senator, by the way.”

“There’s no need for that.” The same voice answers after a brief pause. “We’ll leave now. We don’t want any problems.”

“Get the hell out of my room,” Sam repeats, her voice rising toward the end. “Help! Somebody help me.”

With no amount of relief, we listen to the three footsteps scramble out of the room. Moments later, another pair of footsteps come into the room, and Sam scrambles off the bed. “Ms. Julis went for a walk to stretch her legs. I came in to check on her and fell asleep, and these men came in and started going through her things. What kind of hospital is this anyway?”

“I’ll call security and have them look into it.”

“They couldn’t have gotten far,” Sam adds, her voice climbing higher and higher. “They’re three dark-haired men with buzz cuts and broad shoulders, all wearing suits. I want them arrested for trespassing.”

I cling to Carter, allowing the weight and feel of him to comfort me.

When Carter is sure the nurse is gone, he pokes his head out from under the bed. He crawls out first, and a moment later, he and Sam help me to my feet. I sway a little, and Carter catches me, crushing me to him.

He hasn’t held me like this in weeks. Not since before I left for the Blackthorne manor.

It feels good to be held by Carter; it’s as if I can put myself back together in the comfort of his arms. All too soon, it ends, though, and Carter carries me to the bed. Wordlessly, he darts out of the room without a backward glance at either of us. Sam walks over to the window, pulls down the blinds, and shuts the door. She turns the lock and twists to face me. She looks worried but doesn’t say anything. Neither do I.

Tristan is the first one to come back and check on us. “Are both of you okay?”

Sam looks visibly shaken and hasn’t stopped pacing. “What the hell was that?”

Tristan glances between the two of us. “Carter thinks that the mayor sent those men.”

Sam stops pacing and looks at Tristan, more and more color draining from her face. “The mayor? As in Mayor Hughes?”

Tristan nods reluctantly.

“Fuck.” I breathe, earning startled looks from the two of them. “We’re never going to be safe, are we?”

Tristan averts his gaze and shifts from one foot to the other. “I wouldn’t go that far, but it does make things harder. I’m going to go back out and sweep the perimeter. Lock the door behind me when I leave. Don’t open it up unless it’s Carter or I.”

In the doorway, he pauses and glances over his shoulder. Then he takes Sam into his arms, and he kisses her like his life depends on it. Something low and hateful unfurls in the center of my stomach at the sight. Just as suddenly, he releases Sam, and she staggers back, her face a bright shade of red. She touches a hand to her lips, a smile hovering there.

As soon as Tristan leaves, Sam snaps back to reality with a jolt and throws herself at the door.

After locking it, she spins around to face me. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

I swallow. “You guys are good together. I’m not sure if I ever told you that.”

Sam pushes herself off the door and shoves her hair out of her eyes. “That’s the first time Tristan’s ever kissed me like that.”

She pulls the chair closer to the bed and sinks into it. “Jesus, how did things get so out of hand?”

I have no idea, but while I’ve been recovering and trying to find a way to heal, the war outside our door has only gotten worse.

For the umpteenth time, Carter and I are in the middle of it all, and I don’t see a way out.

Not this time.