Feathers and Thorne Series Books 1 - 3: The Complete Collection

Chapter Six

Isabella

“I want to know how the fuck they managed to get in. Don’t we have people stationed outside the hospital?”

“They used a side entrance,” Paul replies in a strained voice. “We don’t have enough men to keep this up, Carter.”

“What did I fucking say about excuses?”

My eyes fly open, and I see Carter and Paul standing across from each other near the door of the room. Carter’s eyes are wide and dilated, and he looks like he might throw Paul out the nearest window. To his credit, the younger Blackthorne doesn’t look intimidated.

At least he’s hiding it well.

Paul squares his shoulders and balls his hands into fists at his side. “They’re not excuses. They are facts. We can’t have men here and be fighting the war on another front.”

“You don’t have to,” I reply in a clear voice. “I’m being discharged later today, aren’t I?”

Two pairs of eyes turn to me.

Carter’s expression is still dark when he crosses over to me. “Go back to sleep, dove. This isn’t something you should concern yourself with.”

I shake my head. “Paul is right. You’re wasting valuable resources while I’m cooped up here.”

Carter’s expression darkens further. “Paul doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about and needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut.”

I sit up straighter. “No, he’s right. Hopefully, the doctor gets here soon, so we can all get out of here.”

Although I’m still not sure how I feel about going back to the house, it’s not like I have anywhere else to go.

For now, there isn’t anywhere safe. And I need to think about my baby’s safety above all else.

Carter opens his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted by the arrival of Tristan and Ernesto. Through the glass, they gesture to him, so he motions to Paul, and the two of them step out. Through the window, I see Paul linger outside the door while Carter, Ernesto, and Tristan storm off in the opposite direction.

Sam comes into my room a short while later, carrying more shopping bags. “Apparently, retail therapy really does help.”

I snort. “More baby clothes?”

“I got you a few things, too.” Sam sets the bags down and pushes her hair out of her eyes. “I wasn’t sure of your size, so I hope it’s okay that I asked Carter.”

“Of course, it’s okay.” I offer her a smile. “Sam, you’re pretty much the only person keeping me sane right now.”

Sam gives me a genuine smile. “I got you a few books, a bathrobe, some shampoo, and other toiletries. I figured you could take a shower while I wait for you. How does that sound?”

I nod. “I’d really like that.”

I’m still feeling weak, and standing up sends a wave of nausea through me. Sam helps me to the bathroom, and I spend the short trip thinking about what the doctor said about morning sickness. While a part of me is relieved it means the baby is healthy, the other part of me wonders if I’m being pushed too far.

I can’t even enjoy my pregnancy like other women.

In the bathroom, Sam turns her back on me while I peel off my clothes. I leave them in a pile on the floor and turn the knob. Then I pull the curtain back and step into the stall, turning my head up to face the faucet. Hot water cascades down my back and swirls under my feet. I press my head against the tile wall and release a deep breath.

Sam hands me a plastic bag full of things and withdraws her hand. “So, have you thought of baby names yet?”

I push myself away from the wall and lather up some soap. “No, not really.”

How can I think of anything related to the future of the baby when I’m struggling with the present? I don’t even know if I’m fit to be a mother anymore.

“What if you call her Hope, if it’s a girl, I mean?”

I lift my hair up off the nape of my neck and start to scrub my hair in slow and rhythmic motions. “I like the name, but it’s a little too…”

“Too what?”

“I don’t know, on the nose, I guess,” I say in a small voice. “I don’t know if that makes any sense.”

Sam’s sigh fills the room. “I understand. You could name him after your dad if it’s a boy.”

My lips lift into a half smile. “I like that suggestion.”

“You should definitely send them to public school for a year,” Sam continues in a more cheerful voice. “I know that Carter is going to want the best school for them, but you don’t want your kid to be one of those spoiled brats.”

I snort and place my head under the shower, some of the knots in my stomach unfurling. “You’re absolutely right. I hadn’t thought of that.”

And I’m glad Sam is keeping my mind off of things. Without her, I’d be wallowing in my misery all the time. Knowing that Carter is by my side makes me feel better, but it isn’t drawing me out of my shell. Not in the way Sam is.

In spite of knowing the truth about me and what I’ve done, Sam’s treatment of me hasn’t changed, and words can’t describe how grateful I am for her.

Or how much I wish coming clean to Carter is as simple as it is with Sam. But I know that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“That’s why you need me around, and if you feel like making me the baby’s godmother as a thank you, I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

I laugh in spite of myself.

Once I’ve washed off the last of the soap and the shampoo, I push myself up to the tips of my toes. I use one hand to snatch the towel off the nearby hook and the other to switch off the water. Then, I secure the towel around my body and draw the curtain back. Sam’s hand darts out, and she helps me keep my footing and leads me into the room.

An ankle-length dress, a long-sleeved jacket, and a pair of sneakers are draped over the bed.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d want to wear, so I thought I’d help you pick out something comfortable and cute.”

I smile and sink onto the bed. “I really appreciate all of this.”

Sam gives me a quick hug and then takes a step back. “Okay, why don’t I go get us something to eat while you get dressed? I won’t be gone long, okay?”

“I like Sam as a middle name,” I tell her retreating back. “It works if it’s a boy or a girl.”

Sam cranes her neck over her shoulder, and her eyes are glazed with tears. “I would be honored.”

I wait until Sam leaves before making sure the blinds are properly closed. Then I drift back into the bathroom, taking my clothes with me. In the bathroom, I let the towel fall into a heap on the floor and examine myself in the mirror. My body is peppered with small bruises, most of them turning yellow already, but a few of them are still an angry shade of red and blue.

As I run my fingers over my skin, I keep seeing Rich’s fingers trying to silence me.

A shudder races up my spine as I pick the towel back up and bury my face in it. After making sure every inch of my bare skin is dry, I pull my underwear on first. Then I snap on my bra and pull the dress over my head. In a daze, I stare at the mirror and avoid looking at my face directly as I run a comb through my hair.

Sam’s words still reverberate inside of my head. I know she means well, but she has no idea what it’s like for me. Or what it’s going to be like when Carter finds out the truth.

And I know it’s only a matter of time before he does.

Although no one has brought up Rich explicitly in my presence, I know they must’ve done something to hide the body. Over and over, I see Carter dragging Rich’s body out to the backyard and digging as quickly as possible. When my eyes start to fill with tears, I stop brushing my hair and grip the sink.

Why can’t I move past this? Why can’t Sam’s words penetrate the thick shield of guilt and shame wrapped around me? I desperately need them to.

Because I don’t know if I can continue to live like this.

Abruptly, I release the sink and cup my hands together. After splashing cold water on my face, I pat my face dry and pick my soiled clothes and towel off the floor. I stuff them into an empty plastic bag and carry it back into the room. Overhead, the fluorescent lights buzz, and I can hear more beeping monitors in the background.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and bury my face in my hands. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. In a couple of hours, I’m supposed to be released, and Carter is going to want to take me home.

How am I supposed to walk through the front door as if nothing happened? As if I’m the same person who walked out weeks ago.

“Looks like the little bird is all by her lonesome.”

I bolt upright and wheel around to face the door, recognizing Lilian easily, in spite of the cheap blonde-haired wig on her head and the hoodie pulled up to obscure half of her face. Her blood-red lips curl into a sneer as she steps further into the room and kicks the door shut behind her.

“It’s only going to be a matter of minutes before they realize you’re here,” I tell her, struggling to keep the tremor out of my voice. “Carter, in particular, has been dying to get his hands on you.”

Lilian takes off the wig and shakes her hair out. “Oh, I know he is. And once you’re out of the picture, the two of us can finally be together.”

I snatch the buzzer by the side of the bed and press it. “I suggest you leave, Lilian.”

Lilian throws her head back and laughs, the sound low and humorless and full of anger. “That’s not going to do anything. All the nurses are a little occupied with the surprise I left for them.”

My heart misses a beat. “What are you talking about?”

Lilian stops laughing and straightens her back. “Let’s just say that, unlike you, I’ve come prepared. I know they can’t have eyes on you all the time, not with a war brewing, so I left them all a little distraction.”

I drop the buzzer and clasp my hands behind my back. “What do you want?”

Lilian takes off the sunglasses, and I see the crazed gleam in her eyes and the dark circles. I immediately recognize her desperation. “I thought that part was obvious.”

She and I both know the truth. But I have to keep her talking, at least long enough for help to come. Although I pray it isn’t Sam who walks through the door.

I clear my throat. “Carter doesn’t love you. He’s never loved you. Why would you want him back when he’s never going to be yours?”

Lilian’s eyes flash, and her expression darkens. “The only reason he isn’t mine is because you’re in the picture. I’m the only woman he came back to a few times, and I can do it again.”

I take a few steps to my right in the direction of the bathroom. “Why waste your time? There are plenty of men out there, Lilian, and you’re an attractive woman. You wouldn’t have a hard time finding someone else.”

Lilian takes a step in my direction and pulls her coat back, revealing the knife and syringe there. “I know what you’re trying to do, Isabella, and it’s not going to work. You’re not going to be able to convince me to leave. I want what I came for.”

I take another step in the direction of the bathroom. “And what’s that?”

Lilian gives me a slow and chilling smile. “To eliminate the threat, of course. Without you in the picture, Carter and I can finally be together, just like we were meant to be. But do you know what the problem is? You’re like a fucking cockroach. I’ve sent several people after you, and you still managed to elude them all.”

I dig my nails into my palms. “You’re the one who sent those people to kidnap me from the hospital.”

Lilian takes a few more steps in my direction. “They were supposed to make sure you were sold to some sleazeball like the whore you are. But even the best-laid plans don’t work out well. If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.”

Fear washes over me and settles into a hard knot in the center of my stomach. “You’re not going to kill me.”

Lilian is still advancing on me. “Oh, but I am, and I’m going to make it look like an accident too.”

I dart into the bathroom and swing the bathroom door shut. At the last second, Lilian’s foot darts out, and she keeps the door from closing completely. I use the full force of my weight to push her away, but she is heavier than she looks, and she manages to shove the door the rest of the way. I stumble back, my heart jumping into my throat now. As I glance around for something to use, the door thuds open, hitting the wall opposite it.

Lilian is still smiling. “Why are you making this harder? We both know how this ends. If I’m not the one who gets you, Carter’s enemies will, and they’re going to make it so much more painful for you.”

I throw the plastic bag at her, and Lilian grunts in surprise. In the next instant, I sail past her and back into the room.

I don’t make it far before Lilian pulls me back by my hair, sending little jabs of pain through my skull and up my spine. When I’m close enough to her, I throw my head back and headbutt Lilian. She lets out a low howl and doubles over. I’m panting as fear and adrenaline race through me. My hand is on the knob when Lilian yanks me back again and throws her body against mine. I’m pinned to the ground, thrashing and gasping as Lilian tries to pin my arms behind my back.

For a small woman, she’s got a lot of energy and power.

Her mouth is next to my ear when she talks to me. “Don’t worry. It won’t take effect right away. You’ll be able to feel every single thing that happens to you, and I’m going to be there to watch it.”

I kick my legs out, and she loses her grip, but it’s not enough for me to stand back up. There’s a rustling sound, and Lilian is muttering to herself now.

Using every ounce of energy at my disposal, I fight her. I fight her for my baby, for myself, and for Carter.

When I finally manage to throw Lilian off, I stagger to my feet and fumble for the doorknob, half-blinded by fear. The door swings open, and my heart sputters and crashes when Sam steps through, carrying a tray. The smile immediately falls from her face as I snatch the tray out of her hand and swing it at Lilian. She yelps, and it avoids her by an inch.

“What the hell is that bitch doing here?”

“Trying to kill me,” I say between wheezes. “You need to get help, Sam.”

Sam yanks me back and away from Lilian’s reach. “Somebody help! Security. Where is everyone?”

“Lilian did something to cause a distraction,” I reply between pants. The blood is still pumping furiously through my veins, and I’m struggling to think past the ache in my muscles and the panic clawing its way through my chest. “We need to lure her away.”

Sam and I jump backward as Lilian charges at us, and I catch a glimpse of the wild mane around her face and the shadow settling over it.

She looks unhinged, like the kind of woman who is at the end of her tether. Without any help, there’s no telling what she’ll do.

Sam takes my hand in hers, and she drags me away.

Lilian trails behind us, yelling and taunting me the entire time. Sam and I race past rows and rows of closed doors, but we don’t run into any other medical staff. When we finally reach the end of the hallway, which spills out onto the nurse’s station, we finally see someone else. A single nurse is sitting there, with a landline cradled between her neck and shoulders. Her eyes widen when she sees Lilian round the corner, the syringe held in her hand.

“Call security,” I snap as we circle the desk and stand opposite it. “Where is everyone?”

“There was an emergency.” The nurse’s fingers tremble as she pushes a button under the desk. “What the hell is going on?”

“She’s insane.” I step behind the desk and pull the woman backward. “My fiancé and I have a restraining order against her, but she won’t abide by it.”

Together, the three of us step out from behind the desk and dart into another empty hallway. Lilian is still hot on our heels as we take a series of twists and turns. I’m suddenly thankful no one else is in the hallway because I can’t imagine what Lilian might do to them. In her desperation to get to me, she will lash out at anyone. Everyone is fair game as far as she’s concerned.

When we reach the elevator, the nurse presses the button frantically and tries her phone. “I don’t know what’s happening. I’ve got a really bad signal.”

The elevator doors ping open, and I release a sigh of relief when a few security guards spill out, with Carter stepping off last. His face is one of stony fury when he recognizes Lilian, who skids to a halt. Immediately, he tucks me into his side and motions to Sam to step behind him. I’m still shaking and uneasy as the security guards surround Lilian.

The syringe falls to the floor with a clattering sound as Lilian spins on her heels and darts off.

Carter takes a step in her direction, but my hand darts out to stop him. “Don’t go.”

He twists to face me, and I can see the muscles working in his jaw. “You can’t ask me for that, dove. I have to go after her to make sure they do their fucking jobs.”

“They’ll get her,” I plead, my eyes moving over his face. “There’s no way she’s going to make it out of here.”

Carter pries my fingers away and gives me an apologetic look. “I can’t leave that up to chance.”

Without waiting for a response, he darts off after them, and I collapse against Sam. The two of us shiver as the nurse leads us back to the station. There, she pulls out two chairs for us and forces us to sit down. She is saying something to me, but I can’t make out the words.

Because all I can think of is what would’ve happened if help hadn’t arrived in time. Would Lilian have hurt Sam and the nurse to get to me? Would I even still be alive to see Carter one last time?

I drape an arm over my stomach, another violent tremor coursing through me. “My baby…”

Comprehension dawns on the nurse’s face as she kneels in front of me. She pulls out a portable sonar from a nearby supply room and sets it up. Wordlessly, she runs the machine over my stomach, a furrow appearing between her brows.

A long and tense moment passes.

Finally, we all hear my baby’s heartbeat, strong and steady, as it fills the empty hallway. Sam buries her face in her hands, and I collapse against the nurse. She pats my back awkwardly and waits for a few minutes before pulling away. Then she puts away the machine and leads me back to my room. Sam and the nurse put everything back where it was while I linger in the doorway, one hand over my stomach and the other curled into a fist at my side.

I keep listening for the sound of Lilian’s voice.

Carter materializes as Sam is helping me get back into bed. He and Sam exchange a quick look before she leaves the room, the door clicking shut behind her.

I fold my arms in my lap. “I hope it was worth it.”

Carter runs a hand over his face. “What the hell did you expect me to do, dove? She came after you at the fucking hospital. She’s lost her mind. I’m not the bad guy here.”

“I told you not to go after her.”

Carter crosses over to me, his eyes blazing with emotion. “And I told you that I wasn’t going to do that. What the fuck do you expect me to do, huh? Let a bunch of dumbass security guards go after her?”

I ignore the low thrumming in my veins. “Did you get her?”

Carter gives a sharp shake of his head. “She got away, but I’ve got Ernesto and Lorenzo out looking for her. Tristan and Paul are posted nearby. She’s not going to get away with this, dove. I promise.”

I look away from him and link my fingers together. “I don’t want you to make that promise, Carter. I don’t want more violence.”

“Excuse me?”

I swing my gaze back to his, and the tight feeling in my chest only grows. “The answer to violence is not more violence.”

Carter barks out a laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me? We’ve been here for eight days, and I’ve done everything I can to make sure there’s very little violence, and you want to bust me for that?”

I sit up straighter. “I’m not busting you for it. I’m just saying that there is another way to do things. Sam and I were talking, and—”

“Oh, here we go again,” Carter mutters darkly. “I’m starting to think this relationship is between three people.”

I frown. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Carter makes a vague hand gesture, his hair in tufts on top of his head by now. “You’ve barely been able to look at me since you’ve been admitted. You don’t want me to touch you, and you won’t tell me what happened with Rich.”

“And?”

Carter stands at the foot of the bed, his expression tight. “But when it comes to Sam, you can’t shut up. The only time you act human is when she’s around, and I want to know why.”

I blink. “That’s not fair. That’s not the only time I act human…”

But Carter and I both know I’m lying.

It isn’t his fault I can’t look at him without seeing Rich’s last moments or that I can’t bring myself to tell him. Instead, I’ve let it fester between us, growing to twice its size and sucking up all the oxygen in the room.

Carter’s voice is low when he speaks. “You and I both know that isn’t true. I’ve tried to be patient, dove. I know you’ve been through a lot of shit, and the last thing I want is to add to that, but fucking hell… what more do you want from me?”

“This is you being patient? You’ve been hovering the entire time!”

Carter comes to stand next to me, and I can see the amount of effort it’s taking for him to hold himself still. “Because I love you, Isabella. Because I’m supposed to protect you. Because it’s what a fucking fiancé does. I’m not some fucking stranger who lied to you and manipulated you—”

I jump out of bed and point a finger at him. “You just can’t let that go, can you? You hate that I confided in Rich and that he and I became friends. Why can’t you accept that I’m going to confide in other people? You can’t be everything to me, Carter.”

Nor will I let him. I’m already too dependent and reliant on him, and the last thing I need is not to have a support system at all. Especially given the nature of my life with Carter.

Carter takes a step forward, and I drop my hand. “Why can’t you accept that I know better than you? I know when people want to use you or take advantage of you, and I can tell when they’re fucking lying.”

“I’m not as na?ve as you think I am,” I snap, pausing to tilt my head back. “I can handle myself.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Carter says before closing the distance between us. He grips my shoulders and looks into my eyes. “I am not going to apologize for who I am or what I do to protect this family.”

I squirm and try to push Carter away. “Let me go.”

Carter’s hands dug further into my arms.

Abruptly, he releases me and takes a step back. “People like Rich prey on your insecurities and your fears, and they know how to exploit them.”

“Sam isn’t one of those people,” I tell him with a frown. “You can’t put her in the same category as them, and you know it.”

“I can if she’s poisoning you against me, dove.”

I throw my hands up in the air and scowl. “Sam supports me, but you don’t care about that. You won’t even give her a chance, and we both know why. You’re threatened by her.”

Carter takes me into his arms and kisses me. I’m so shocked that both of my eyes remain open. Until he cups the back of my neck and massages my scalp.

I shudder and melt into the kiss, a barrage of emotions rising up within me. When Carter’s arms come up around my waist, and he digs his fingers into the flesh there, I know it’s too late. I kiss him back with just as much fervor and passion, every last inch of me coming alive under his touch.

It’s like I’ve been gasping for air. Carter’s kisses feel like lifting my head up over the water and inhaling. It feels like I’ve been living a nightmare, craving his touch and his embrace.

We stumble backward, and my back hits the nearest wall. Carter growls into the kiss and nips on my lower lip. His tongue darts into my mouth, beginning a sensual battle for dominance. Then his hands move down, and he hoists me up, so I wrap my legs around him.

Carter is rubbing himself against me when someone clears their throat. I grab a fistful of Carter’s shirt and deepen the kiss.

The person clears their throat again, so Carter sets me back down on my feet and spins around. “What?”

I peek out from behind Carter and see Sam lingering in the doorway, a sheepish look on her face. She has her hands clasped behind her back and isn’t meeting anyone’s gaze. “Sorry to interrupt. Tristan asked me to come and find you.”

Carter tucks me into his side and straightens his back. “Have any of them managed to find Lilian?”

Sam shakes her head. “No, I’m afraid not.”

Carter swears, and I see him ball his hands into fists. He is inches away from punching the wall when he looks over at me and sees my frown. Slowly and with a great deal of reluctance, he lowers his hand and takes a step away from me. He is raking his fingers through his hair when the doctor comes in and takes a look around the room.

“Did you guys move some things around?”

Sam steps in front of us and gives him a warm smile. “We’re sorry, doc. Isabella was feeling a little angsty at being cooped up here all this time. We did try and put everything back the way it was.”

Dr. Masterson scribbles something down and nods. “That’s fine.”

“We’re happy to pay for the damages,” I say in a breathless voice. Carter shoots me an incredulous look, but I ignore him. “If there are any.”

Dr. Masterson waves my comment away. “It’s nothing to worry about, Ms. Julis. Now, I will need you to follow up with your primary healthcare provider in the city, and you’re going to need to take it easy. Avoid anything that will cause extra stress.”

Sam hides her snort behind a cough.

I step forward and pat Sam on the back. “I’ll do my best, doctor. Thank you so much for all your help.”

Dr. Masterson glances between the three of us, a furrow appearing between his brows. Then Carter steps forward and takes the discharge paperwork out of his hands. He walks Dr. Masterson out, and I deflate as soon as I spot them through the glass. In silence, Sam helps me pack all my things into a small suitcase and wheels it behind us.

“Don’t say it,” I whisper as we wait for Carter to finish talking to the doctor. “I know I messed up.”

Sam taps her fingers against her thigh. “I haven’t said anything, Isabella. Carter is your fiancé.”

“I haven’t told him yet,” I say in a voice so low I wonder if Sam even hears me. When she tilts her head in my direction, and I see the myriad of emotions dance across her face, I know she has. “I’m going to when we go home.”

Sam presses her lips together and nods.

As soon as Carter comes back, he takes the bag from Sam and laces his fingers through mine. When a petite nurse with a long braid steps forward with a wheelchair, Carter gives her a dismissive look. She hurries after us, protesting loudly the whole time until Carter wheels around and gives her a pointed look. Then she shrinks back, and Carter tugs me forward. Sam matches her stride to ours as we hurry down an empty, florescent-lit hallway. At the end of the hallway, we stop in front of the elevator, and Sam pushes the button. I can’t help but glance over my shoulders and down both sides of the hallway as if Lilian is going to jump out at us.

This hospital has too many upsetting memories for me, and I’m all too glad to leave it behind. Even if I am reluctant to face the outside world again.

Carter pulls me into the elevator when the doors ping open, and Sam scurries in after us. The doors shut, and I lean into Carter’s side, allowing the familiar smell of him to wash over me. He runs a hand down my back and pauses at my ass. After giving it a firm squeeze, his hand moves back up to settle around my waist.

Tristan and Paul are waiting for us when we come out.

Wordlessly, Sam tucks herself into Tristan’s side.

Once we set foot through the double doors, a blast of cold air hits me in the face, and I shiver. The first thing I notice is the dark clouds gathering on the horizon, and the second thing I notice is the number of cars in the parking lot. A steady stream of people rushes past in either direction as I search our surroundings for Ernesto’s familiar SUV.

Sure enough, he pulls up, and we all pile into the car, with Paul slipping into the passenger seat and Sam and Tristian sliding into the row of seats behind us. Carter and I are the last to get in, and he practically hoists me off my feet and sets me into the back. Without waiting for me to adjust myself, Carter gets in behind me and presses a button to lift a partition between us and the front of the car. Then he presses another button, and another partition separates us from Tristan and Sam.

I fold my hands in my lap and swallow.

“We’re not done yet, dove,” Carter murmurs without looking at me. “You and I need to find a solution.”

“A solution for what?” I try but fail to sound airy and unaffected, but I can tell by the tightness of Carter’s eyes that he doesn’t believe me.

Why would he?

Carter places two fingers underneath my chin, and I twist so I’m facing him directly. “For you disobeying me. For questioning my decisions. Over and over. Now, I wasn’t going to cause a scene in the hospital, but you know the rules.”

I search his face. “Is that really all you care about? Your stupid punishment?”

Carter’s eyes flash, and he pulls me onto his lap. “Don’t ever ask me that question again, dove. You know what you mean to me, and you know what I’ve done and what I’ll continue to do to keep you safe.”

I squirm against him. “I don’t want you to do that anymore.”

Carter places both hands on my waist and raises an eyebrow. “So, you’d rather I let Lilian kill you and the baby?”

I sputter. “No, of course not.”

Carter gives my ass a light slap. “Then stop fighting me on this.”

I bring my head to rest against his chest and go quiet. Carter holds onto me for the duration of the ride, and I don’t resist. A part of me feels guilty for not coming clean, but the other part of me can’t bear the thought of what it’ll do to Carter.

To us.

When we pull up outside Anita’s house, Carter sweeps me into his arms and carries me up the driveway. Instead of turning to our own house, we step through Anita’s front door. She offers me a wave and a grim smile on the way past, but I avoid her gaze. Carter doesn’t stop until he reaches the top of the stairs and sets me down on my feet. Slowly, he places a hand on my waist and leads me to the room we’ve used before.

All my things have already been set up, including the supplies I was using to prepare for Carter’s project. I let my gaze sweep over the room, taking in the fresh sheets and the smell of lemon lingering in the air. Carter pulls me to him when Tristan brings my bag up and leaves it in the doorway.

Tristan looks directly at me, a strange gleam in his eyes. “I never got the chance to thank you.”

I blink. “What for?”

“For coming back for me,” Tristan replies, the words pouring out of him in a rush. “I have no idea how you got away from Rich. At this point, it doesn’t really matter. I’m sorry I put you and the baby in danger.”

I step out of Carter’s arms and offer Tristan the barest hint of a smile. “I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I never should’ve left you.”

Tristan shrugs and looks away. “You didn’t have a choice. Rich was very persuasive.”

Silence settles between us.

Carter clears his throat and places both hands around my waist. “Isabella needs to rest.”

Tristan nods, and another look passes between them.

Then Carter reaches into the pocket of his pants and pulls out a set of keys. He hands them over to Trista, who grips them in the palm of his hands. As quickly as he came, Tristan heads back downstairs, leaving Carter and me alone for the first time in days. Carter’s fingers are still laced through mine as he walks over to the bed and pulls me onto his lap.

This time, when he kisses me, I’m all too aware of the desperation, of the yearning. Of Carter’s need to re-establish control.

But when he spins us around and lowers me onto the bed, I know I can’t give it to him. Carter rubs his hands up and down my arms, sending shivers racing through my body. He hovers over me, his lean and powerful body keeping some of my demons at bay. However, when he lifts the dress up so it pools around my waist, I freeze.

Suddenly, I can’t think of how good it feels to kiss Carter. Or how badly I want to feel his skin against mine.

When Carter draws back to look at me, all I can see is all the ways I’ve failed him. I make a low noise in the back of my throat and let my arms fall to my sides. Frowning, Carter tries to kiss me again, but I turn my head to the side so his lips touch my cheek instead. Sighing, Carter draws back to look at me, but I don’t meet his gaze.

“Dove?”

“Mercy,” I whisper, hating how my voice cracks on the last letter.

For the longest time, Carter doesn’t move. So long, in fact, that I wonder if he didn’t hear me.

When he does finally move, shame and guilt have settled in the center of my stomach as I pull my dress back down. I fold my arms over my chest and curl onto my side. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a flash of movement, and Carter materializes with his shirt on. He brushes my hair out of my face and presses a kiss to my forehead.

Through the slit in the bathroom door, I see him switch on the water and wait for the tub to fill. In the mirror, I catch a glimpse of his reflection, and it nearly weakens my resolve.

Until he looks up, and our eyes meet from across the room. I swallow, flip onto my back, and glance up at the ceiling.

Carter returns to the room and perches on the edge of the bed. “Anita is letting us have the entire floor to ourselves. Tristan and Sam are staying at our place, so they’re nearby.”

I swallow. “What about the war?”

“I already told you that I’m going to take care of it,” Carter says in a hard voice. “It’s taken enough from us, and I don’t want it to take anymore.”

I lower my gaze and stare at him through lowered lashes. “And Lilian?”

Carter stands up and pulls the cover up to my chin. “You need to focus on getting better and keeping our baby healthy. That’s all that matters.”

Tears burn the back of my eyes when Carter leans forward and presses his mouth to my forehead. He lingers, and I almost want him to move further down and kiss me again. Before I can shift closer, Carter pulls away and steps out of the room. The door clicks shut behind him, and I stand up. In the bathroom, I peel off my dress and throw it into the laundry basket.

With my body mostly submerged in the water, I pull some of the bubbles to myself.

Then, I drape my arms on either side of the tub and exhale. “Maybe you’d be better off without us, bean. You could go to a nice, normal home with normal people who’ll love you and look after you and give you all the things we can’t.”

Including safety.

It’s the one thing I know I can’t give my baby.

I suck in a harsh breath, plunge my head under the water and squeeze my eyes shut. When the need for air becomes too great, I lift my head back up and gasp. Carter is in the room, sitting on the edge of the bed with his ankles crossed together. He doesn’t say anything as he watches me. I turn away from him and stare at the window above the toilet.

I have no idea how long I sat there or when I fell asleep.

All I know is that when Carter lifts me out of the water and wraps me in a towel, I’m relieved. He helps me change into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt that smells like him. I’m still half asleep when he helps me climb onto the bed and tucks the covers around me. I lace my fingers through his and refuse to let go until I drift off.

Because I’m afraid of what’s waiting for me when I close my eyes.

Carter pulls a chair up and sits down next to me. “You’re not alone, dove. We’ll get through this together.”