Feathers and Thorne Series Books 1 - 3: The Complete Collection

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Isabella

It feels like my body is on fire. Like someone is holding a match to my skin and keeps waving it around.

My head is swimming, and my tongue feels heavy as I groan. Then I try to lift one hand to my forehead, but it’s held back. With a frown, I try the other hand, but it takes me a few tries to get it moving. In the background, there’s a loud cacophony of voices, all of them clamoring to be heard over the other.

I drop my hand to cup my stomach, but it feels lighter. Flatter.

Gasping, I shoot up in bed, my body drenched in sweat and my heart hammering uneasily inside of my chest. I lick my dry lips, glance down at my stomach, and frown at the lack of a bump there. When I look back up, I see Sam sprawled on a chair by my bed, her mouth half open.

Everything around me is unfamiliar.

I blink, and the hospital room swims into focus, revealing whitewashed walls, a monitor on one side of the bed, and a connecting door leading to a tile-floored bathroom. Gingerly, I push myself up, and my tongue darts out to lick my dry lips again. When I swallow, it feels like something hard and heavy is lodged in my throat.

My breath hitches in my throat as I try to remove the IV.

The monitor I’m hooked up to starts beeping loudly, and it startles Sam awake. She looks confused at first, then when she sees me propped up, she leaps to her feet. Glancing over her shoulder, she calls out in a hoarse voice. A moment later, a nurse in pink scrubs comes in and helps to calm me down.

I suck in a harsh breath and slump against the mattress. “What happened? Where’s my baby?”

Sam hovers over the nurse, her eyebrows drawn together. “What do you remember?”

“We were in the house. We were waiting for Carter and Tristan.” I bring my free hand up and run it over my face. “Sam, where’s my baby?”

“You need to take it easy, honey.” The nurse frows and wags a finger at me. “You’ve been through a major surgery, and all this stress and getting worked up isn’t going to help anyone.”

“Surgery?” My stomach dips. I try to push myself up further, but the nurse won’t let me. “Why won’t anyone tell me what’s wrong? I want my baby.”

“She’s in an incubator,” Sam replies after exchanging a quick look with the nurse. “They had to take her out because you were going into distress, and they couldn’t get your blood pressure back up.”

I struggle against the nurse’s firm grip. “What do you mean she’s in an incubator?”

Next to me, the monitor starts going crazy again, but I don’t care.

I can’t be lying in a hospital bed while my baby is in the hospital somewhere, fighting for her life. She needs me, and I have to see her. I need to know she’s okay.

“Go into the hallway and call for a doctor. She’s going into distress again,” the nurse tells Sam with a frown. “I told you to wait to give her the news. It’s too much for her all at once.”

I squirm and try to get up, but the nurse is a lot stronger than I gave her credit for.

When an older-looking doctor with broad shoulders and salt and pepper in his hair comes in, he doesn’t look pleased. Wordlessly, he crosses over to me, a concerned look on his face. He murmurs something to the nurse, and she turns to the medical cart by the end of the bed. She comes back with a syringe in her hand. The nurse lifts my arm up. A heartbeat later, the sharp end sinks into my skin, and I hold myself completely still. Slowly, the nurse releases me, and I sink back against the mattress.

“What did you give me?”

“I’m going to look into having your daughter brought down,” Dr. Mullins says without looking at me. He pats Sam’s shoulders on the way past. As soon as he’s gone, the nurse launches into action, fluffing up my pillow and bringing out another blanket for me. After shooting me a sympathetic smile, she exits the room, and the door clicks shut behind her.

I feel like I’m floating on a cloud, but I don’t like it. I have no idea what they gave me or why I ended up in the hospital.

All I know is that Sam has dark circles under her eyes and looks like she’s had a rough few days, and I don’t know why.

“You’ve been in a medically induced coma for a few days. When your blood pressure dropped, the doctor realized you had an infection, and you had to go in for surgery,” Sam explains in a low voice. “Carter fought with them to get them to move you to a private room, and a few hours ago, the doctor came in to take you off the breathing tube. He wanted to see if you could breathe on your own. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

I swallow. “What about… how did… the surgery go?”

“I don’t know what happened while you were in there, but they had to take the baby out.”

My tongue feels heavy and awkward. “Is she okay?”

“We all take turns keeping an eye on her,” Sam replies, running a slow hand over her face. “And you, of course. Carter hasn’t left your side.”

My heart misses a beat. “He’s here?”

“He’s been here the whole time. I don’t know where he is right now, but I’m sure he’ll be—”

The door opens with a thud and slams into the other wall. Carter comes in, carrying two cups of coffee. His eyes widen when he sees me, and he shoves the cups at Sam, who barely avoids having hot liquid spilled all over her. My lips lift into a half smile as Carter sinks to his knees in front of me and gathers me into his arms.

He smells like sweat and sandalwood, but it’s my favorite scent in the world.

I throw both arms around him and press him to my chest, over the hammering of my heart. Sam mutters something under her breath and leaves the room, pulling the door shut behind her. For a while, neither of us says anything as Carter continues to crouch, murmuring my name over and over.

“You have no idea how fucking worried I was,” Carter says, into my hair. He kisses my forehead and blinks back the tears. “God, dove. You had me really scared there.”

I pull back to look at him and frown. “Have you really been here for days?”

Carter nods and takes both of my hands in his. “Where else would I be? You needed me here.”

“Have you seen her? Have you seen our daughter?”

Slowly, Carter rises to his feet and drags the chair with a screech across the floor. He sinks into it, giving me a closer look at the sunken eyes, the disheveled hair, and the bruise over his right eye. When he leans forward to place his head in my lap, I catch a glimpse of the bruises peppered all over his body.

With a gasp, I press my forehead to his. “The meeting! What happened?”

“It’s not important, dove.” Carter squeezes my hand and drops a kiss on each individual knuckle. “All that matters is that you and our daughter are safe.”

“Nobody wants to tell me much.”

Carter swallows audibly. “They had to take her out early, but she seems to be doing fine. She’s so little.”

I draw back to look at him, and my stomach tightens. “Is… is she…”

Carter grips my hands tighter. “I don’t know, but they’re doing everything they can. I was with her when Tristan came to find me. They’re supposed to bring her down.”

I frown. “Won’t it be too dangerous?”

Carter shakes his head. “We’ll figure something out. You’ve already missed her first few days in the world. I know you don’t want to miss any more.”

I place a hand on Carter’s face and sniff. “I’m so sorry, Carter.”

Carter’s brows draw together. “Why are you apologizing? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I was thinking about you and the meeting, and the doctor told me I should avoid stressful situations, but I just couldn’t…”

I hadn’t been able to stop worrying about Carter, having to face all those enemies at once.

And the thought of another Donahue out there in the world, lurking and waiting to strike, had sent me into a frenzy. I don’t know why I wasn’t able to rise above it.

But I can’t ignore the guilt churning in my stomach, especially when the door opens, and they wheel our daughter in, lying fitfully in a large incubator. As soon as I’m close enough to lean sideways, I burst into tears and press my hands to the glass. Wave after wave of emotion washes over me as I struggle to breathe through the tears.

She’s impossibly tiny, and she’s got wires hooked up to her body, making her look even more fragile.

Carter drapes an arm over my shoulders, and I tuck myself into his side. But even the smell and feel of him can’t comfort me.

It’s only when Carter helps me snap on my gloves and I shove my arms through the holes that some of my worry lifts. I want to hold her to me and feel her flushed pink skin against mine, but I know I can’t. So I continue to lean forward and study every last inch of her, trying to commit it to memory.

Still, I can’t ignore the vicious voice in my head telling me that I could’ve prevented this. Could I have done anything differently?

“I’m sorry, bean,” I whisper in a thick voice. “You’re not going to be in there for long. We just need you to hang in there, okay? We’re right here. Mommy loves you so much.”

Carter presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’m going to find you something to eat.”

Once Carter leaves, Sam comes in, and I take one look at her face and burst into another wave of tears. My shoulders are shaking so violently that I can’t hold myself up, and Sam has to help. She wipes away a few of her tears but says nothing. Exhausted and spent, I sag against the mattress, but my eyes don’t leave her.

I’m afraid that if I blink, she’ll disappear.

“She shouldn’t be in there,” I murmur after crossing my arms over my chest. “This is my fault.”

“It’s no one’s fault, Isabella,” Sam tells me with a frown. “It’s a stressful situation. Of course, you were going to react to it.”

I press my lips together and swallow back the rest of my sentence. I don’t expect Sam to understand.

How can she?

Carter comes back in with Anita hot on his trail. She gives me a quick and gentle hug and pats my head. Then she loops her arm through Sam’s and leads her out into the hallway, where Tristan and Paul are standing. The two of them offer me a small wave through the glass, but I can’t even muster up a forced smile for them.

My heart feels heavy.

Until Carter pulls his chair up next to me, places one hand on the incubator, and uses his free hand to lace his fingers through mine. “Have you given the name any more thought?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“She needs a name,” Carter urges in the same even voice. “You told me that you liked Hope. I like it too, and I think she should have more than one middle name.”

“Oh?”

“We could also consider Teresa as a name. Sam and Anita could be her middle names.”

I sink back against the mattress and try to ignore the flutter in my chest. “You remembered my mom’s name.”

Carter nods and gives me a small smile. “Of course, I did.”

“What about Speranza? It means hope in Italian.” I stifle a yawn and blink back the burn in my eyes. “Or is that a little too much?”

Carter’s smile grows wider. “I like it, but let’s talk about it some more after you’ve had a chance to rest. You’ve had an eventful day.”

I shake my head. “What about the baby?”

“Paul and Tristan will keep an eye on her in the NICU,” Carter assures me, with another kiss on the forehead. “And I won’t be far. Get some sleep, dove.”

My eyelids grow heavier and heavier as two nurses come in to wheel our daughter out. I watch them take her out into the hallway, with Carter following close behind. When they round the corner and disappear, a single tear slides down my cheek. I rub my eyes, pull the covers up to my chin, and throw my head back.

Sam and Anita come in together and take up seats on either side of me. I offer them both a sleepy smile before I succumb.

My last thought before I drift off is of Carter and our daughter. And how much I hope the three of us have many more moments together.

I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life.