Festive Hearts And Kisses (Hope Valley Christmas 2)

7. Reed

REED

“You sure about this?” Paul asks as he walks over to my car.

I laugh, because we’ve just pulled up onto the drive outside Jerry’s house. “Bit late now.”

“Nope. I reckon Chris would give you your job back in a heartbeat, and your house isn’t sold yet, so it’s absolutely not too late.” He’s staring at the ground and not looking at me, and guilt floods me.

Not for the first time.

“Hey.” I grab his shoulder and give it a squeeze. “I’m going to miss you too, but it’s only like two and a half hours to get here when there’s no traffic.”

“Exactly!” He looks up then and raises an eyebrow. “You could commute for the one or two days you’re needed in the office. Or stay over at a hotel. I get you wanting a new job, what with the team merger and everything, but there’s no need to move halfway across the country.”

“Two and a half hours,” I repeat with an eye roll. Then I shrug. “I know I could’ve stayed at my old place. But this felt... right. I guess. A proper new start.”

We both glance over at the front door as it opens and watch Jerry walk out. It’s a mild day for November, and he’s wearing faded jeans and a black long-sleeved T-shirt with the sleeves pushed up a bit. His dark hair looks a little windswept, the grey peeking out when he runs a hand through it.

“M-hmm...” Paul leans in close to whisper. “I think I’m beginning to see the appeal.”

I elbow him and ignore the way my pulse races. It’s been a few weeks since I last saw Jerry, it’s bound to be a bit weird until we get used to each other again.

That’s all this is.

I smile as he walks over, Jen trotting next to him. Before I can get a word out, Paul steps in front of me, hand outstretched.

“Hey, you must be Jerry. I’m Paul.”

“Ahh.” Jerry’s smile widens, and I’m horrified to feel a twinge of jealousy because it’s not directed at me. “You must be the best friend.”

“Yep. That’s me.” Paul steps back and makes a show of looking around, and I’m sure it’s not my imagination when his gaze returns to Jerry and lingers . “Wow. I can see why Reed’s so eager to move out here.”

I’m gonna kill him.

Either Jerry’s oblivious to the wink Paul shoots me or he’s ignoring it all, because he just smiles and says, “It’s a beautiful part of the country.” Finally, he turns to me, his expression softening into something warm and inviting, and I really should be ashamed of the smugness I feel about that. “Hey.”

I smile back. “Hey.” I’d forgotten how dark his eyes are or how nicely his sooty lashes frame them, and I get lost in them for a beat too long. Then I catch Paul grinning like an idiot in my periphery, so I make a show of crouching down to stroke Jen. “Hey to you too.”

“Do you need a hand with anything?” Jerry asks, and I make the mistake of glancing up.

His groin is right there , and oh my god, his jeans are snug in all the right places. I straighten so fast I’m surprised I’m not dizzy. “Yeah, please.” Hopefully we can all ignore how rough my voice sounds as I say that, and I’m definitely not imagining saying those two words in totally different circumstances. “Frank is on the back seat if you want to grab him,” I manage, thankfully sounding normal this time.

“Yep. I’ll take him and his stuff and get him settled in your bedroom for now.” He turns quickly, collects Frank from the back of my car, and disappears back inside.

Paul has the decency to wait until the front door clicks shut before he bursts out laughing. “Wow.” He slaps me on the shoulder and shakes his head. “Just friends, my arse. I give it a week before you’re banging.” He’s still chuckling to himself as he starts to unload the rest of my stuff.

I can’t get involved with Jerry, not when I’ve only just moved into his house. It could get all kinds of awkward. I start my new job on Monday, and I don’t need the added stress of trying to look for somewhere else to live if I fuck this up.

Friends.

That’s what we agreed to. And that’s what I’ve spent the last few weeks reminding everyone who’s hinted at anything else.

I may have conveniently forgotten how hot he is.

And now we’re going to be in each other’s pockets for the next couple of months.

Oh God, this is going to be a nightmare.

“Fuck me, I think that’s everything.” I shut the boot of my car and lean against it with a groan. We’ve been unloading my stuff for what seems like hours and my back is killing me. With Paul already headed home for a family get-together, it’s only me and Jerry now.

He leans next to me and crosses his arms. “You okay?”

“What do you mean?”

He raises an eyebrow. “With all this.” He gestures around him. “New job, new home. It’s a lot.”

I nod in agreement. “It is... but it’s kind of exciting too.” Don’t get me wrong, part of me is panicking that this is a huge mistake, but the rest of me is cautiously optimistic that this could be the best move I’ve ever made. “I just hope I still feel that way on Monday morning.”

Jerry laughs. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. You already know the guy you’ll be working for, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know the rest of the team. I mean I’ve spoken to them over the phone and email, but I’m still going to be the new guy.” And I’ve always hated that part of starting a new job, but who doesn’t?

He nudges me. “Can’t be any worse than what you left behind, though.”

“Very true.” I wait for the bite of pain that usually follows when I think of Karl, but it doesn’t come. At least not as sharp as I’m used to. “Huh.”

“What’s wrong?” Jerry asks softly.

“Nothing.” It’s been my knee-jerk response when people ask me that. But that’s because it’s usually one of Karl and my mutual friends.

This is Jerry, though.

I can talk to him.

“I was just thinking... it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. Thinking about him,” I add, although I’m pretty sure Jerry doesn’t need me to explain.

“Good.”

The wind picks up then, cool and biting, and I cross my arms with a shiver. Probably not the best idea to be outside in a T-shirt in November. The day might’ve started off mild, but it’s not anymore.

“Come on.” Jerry straightens and nods towards the house. “Let’s go inside before you freeze to death.” He grins. “I forget you’re not used to the cold weather up north.”

“I lived about a hundred miles away, not three hundred!” I grumble, but Jerry is already jogging towards his front door, laughing at the look of indignation on my face. And it hits me then, maybe more than it has at any other moment so far.

Lived .

I don’t live in Worcester anymore. I live here, for the next few months at least.

With Jerry.

That buzz of excitement I felt earlier returns with a vengeance, and I’d be lying if I said it was all for my new job and new house.

Warmth hits me as soon as we get inside, and a sigh escapes as it chases away the chill in my bones. Maybe Jerry’s right about me not being used to the cold. Not that I’m going to tell him that. I don’t know if it’s because it’s much more rural out here, but the air does seem colder. Like it’s properly winter, not a token gesture.

I take my shoes off and set them next to Jerry’s by the door, stroking Jen as she wanders out of the kitchen to greet us.

“Better?” Jerry asks, leaning against the wall in the hallway. His eyes dance with amusement, and I roll mine, but as I’m currently glued to the radiator, there’s not much I can say apart from “Yes, thank you.”

It’s then I notice the boxes piled up in the corner. They’re not mine, everything I brought was either in brown cardboard boxes or in bags. These boxes are white. “What are those?”

Jerry follows my gaze. “Oh, those are the lights and stuff for outside.” He pokes the bottom one with his socked foot. “I cleared some stuff out of the spare room and put it in the loft, so I thought I might as well fetch these down while I was up there. The rest of the decorations are in my bedroom.”

It suddenly clicks. “Ahh, for Christmas.”

“Yes.” He gives me a funny look. “What did you think I meant?”

“I wasn’t sure, exactly. Isn’t it a bit early?” Now he looks at me like I just spoke in tongues.

“It’s late November,” he says, like that explains everything.

“And?”

“Hailey and Char have had the pub decorations up since the ninth. Half the village have their outside lights up already. I’m late by a lot of standards.” He narrows his gaze. “Why, when do you normally decorate?”

I daren’t mention that I didn’t bother with a tree last year. I wasn’t feeling particularly festive, and I tried not to spend too much time in my own place over the holidays. I don’t want to think about the Christmases I spent with Karl, so I opt for a vague, “Probably around the second week in December.” Seems like a reasonable date to put your tree up.

Obviously not to Jerry because he looks a mixture of amused and horrified. “Yeah, we won’t be waiting that long this year.” He points to the boxes. “I was planning on putting them up next weekend, if you fancy giving me a hand?”

It all still seems too early to me, but what do I know? “I guess?”

Jerry snorts. “Don’t get too excited.”

I immediately feel bad. “Sorry. Not sure I’m feeling the Christmas spirit yet.”

That sparkle is back in Jerry’s eyes as he says. “We can’t have that, can we? Put your boots back on and grab your coat.”

“What? Why?” Not sure why I’m even asking because I’m already pulling on my boots.

“We’re going to the pub.”

“You’re sure Frank’ll be okay in the spare room?” It’s probably the third time I’ve asked on the way to the pub, but I feel guilty for leaving him when we’ve only just moved in.

To his credit, Jerry doesn’t even sound annoyed when he tells me, also for the third time, “He’ll be fine. We both checked on him before we left. He was fed, watered, and curled up in your jumper. He also has his litter tray there if he needs it.”

All of which is true.

Frank was fast asleep. Didn’t even so much as twitch when I opened the door to check on him. “Sorry. I just feel bad for leaving him.”

Jerry smirks. “And I’m sure he’ll make you feel even worse when we get back later. Cats are arseholes like that.”

I turn to look at him. “I thought you were supposed to love all animals in your profession.”

“I do. Mostly,” he adds with a wry smile. “But I’ve also met my fair share of cats who know exactly how to manipulate their owners. Frank is as happy as you like up in that bedroom, but the second you step foot in there, he’s going to act like you left him alone for days with no food and no water.” He gives me a pointed look. “Because he’s an arsehole. And you spoil him.”

“I do not.”

It’s a big fat lie and we both know it. Jerry just laughs.

Whatever else I was going to say is abruptly forgotten as the pub comes into view. We’ve passed quite a few houses with their Christmas lights already on display, and as lovely as they were, they are no match for the sight that greets us as we pull into the pub car park.

“Wow.” It’s about all I can manage as I take it all in. Jerry comes to a stop but doesn’t turn off the engine just yet. There aren’t any free spaces out the front of the pub, so we’ll have to park around the back, but it’s like he knows I need a little more time to appreciate everything.

“I don’t remember it being like this last year.” But then I guess I wasn’t in the best state of mind to appreciate it.

“I think last year was a bit of a rush, what with Hailey and Char taking over the pub and Hailey expecting their baby any second.” He pauses and I wonder if he’s remembering anything else about last year.

Like New Year’s Eve in particular.

Hard to believe it’s been almost a year since I met Jerry.

Since I first kissed him.

And now you’re living with him.

It takes me a second to get my mind back to the present and realise Jerry’s talking again.

“So this year, I think they wanted to add their own touch to the decorations now they have the time to do it properly.”

We sit in silent appreciation of the beautifully decorated country pub. It’s Christmas card worthy—one of those fancy thick ones, not the twenty you get for a fiver.

Warm-white icicle lights follow the lines of the roof, all along the eaves. The lower windows have thick green garlands along the sills, with more lights wound around them. A huge wreath decorates the door, the red berries of the holly matching the ribbon tied into a big, elegant bow.

I don’t remember if they had a Christmas tree outside last year, but they have one now, and it’s a beauty. Taller than me by about four feet, its lights fade in and out in a hypnotic dance that steals my attention until Jerry speaks.

“Feeling more Christmassy yet?”

My smile is immediate and so wide I know he can see it even with me still looking out the window. “Getting there.”

Jerry chuckles. “Just wait till you get inside.”

He drives around to the car park behind the pub, which is almost full. I’m not sure why I’m surprised. It’s a Saturday night. But I guess I wasn’t expecting the local pub to be heaving.

Another thing I’m not used to is all the stars.

The night is almost cloudless, which means it’s pretty fucking cold, but I can’t help but stop and stare up at the ink-coloured sky. Can’t hide the awe in my voice as I whisper, “They’re so bright.”

“They are.” Jerry comes to a stop beside me, standing so close, our arms brush.

It seems so natural, I half expect him to sling his arm around my shoulders and pull me in even closer, and when he doesn’t, the disappointment is real.

He shifts position, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I’ve been here for so long now, I sometimes take all this for granted.” His breath fogs the air and that draws my attention to his mouth. I’m suddenly hit with the strongest memory of being here almost eleven months ago.

Of warm lips on mine as a pub of happy villagers celebrated around us.

Of a kiss that was everything I needed at the time but also the only thing I had to offer.

Things are different now.

I’m different.

I’m no longer crippled by the gnawing pain of not being enough to keep the man I was in love with. It’s not totally gone, still hurts if I let it, but I’m better at not doing that these days.

But with our current living situation, I still don’t have anything more to offer Jerry than a warm smile when he turns to face me.

I wonder if that will change when I eventually move out or if the moment will have passed for both of us. The thought that Jerry might no longer look at me with that burning hunger I’ve witnessed on two occasions now—maybe three if we stay out here any longer—causes a pang in my chest, stronger than I was expecting.

“Come on,” I hiss, making a show of rubbing my hands together because I need him to stop looking at me like that. “It’s fucking freezing out here.”

That snaps him out of it, and he steps back, but not before his gaze dips to my mouth. I wet my lips, an unconscious decision that doesn’t help the moment at all, but Jerry is a stronger man than me, and with a wry grin I don’t think I’m supposed to see, he gestures towards the pub behind us. “Come on then, let’s get your southern blood warmed up.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

His laughter rings out in the still night, and whatever tension was building between us ebbs to a warm hum that never quite goes away.

Warmth, music, and laughter spills out of the pub as Jerry pulls the door open. It’s nowhere near the excited chaos that met me and Sean when we did exactly this on New Year’s Eve, but it’s lively and just as welcoming as we walk through the doors.

The inside is as tastefully decorated as the outside—thankfully, no Christmas music is playing yet, because I don’t care what Jerry says, it’s definitely too early for that—but I can’t deny I’m feeling more festive with every twinkling light and shiny bauble I see.

Plenty of heads turn our way, and even though I’m an outsider here, the locals welcome me as enthusiastically as they do Jerry, which is both lovely and a little unnerving.

Jerry must notice, because as we find a spot at the end of the bar, he leans in to whisper. “Word travels fast. You’re a local now.”

I huff. “Hardly. I haven’t even been here a day yet.”

I feel his shoulders rise as he shrugs. “They’re a welcoming bunch.”

They’re also a nosy bunch.

I’m not used to so many people wanting to know my business all at once, even if their curiosity is well-meaning and borne out of a genuine desire to get to know me better. At least that’s what Jerry tells me every time we have to explain that No, we’re not a couple. I’ve not moved in with Jerry. I’m renting his spare room while I look for somewhere permanent of my own.

After what feels like the hundredth time I’ve answered this question, I groan and rest my head in my hands on the bar. Hailey’s taken over serving drinks and her laughter makes me glance up enough to glare at her. “Was it this bad when you moved up here?”

She shakes her head. “No, because Char and me were already married, and since I was the size of a house, it was no secret we had a baby on the way.” She scrunches her nose up. “Although it was a bit like that when Vic came to stay with us and people realised he’s my ex-husband.” She leans over the bar, voice lowered. “That did set some tongues wagging. Especially when he hooked up with Sean.”

That makes me grin. “I can imagine.”

“Anyway,” she says, replacing my empty glass with a fresh beer. “You get used to it after a while.” Her smile turns fond. “It’s kind of nice. I never thought I’d like everyone knowing my business, but there’s something to be said for walking down the high street and being greeted by friendly faces instead of nameless strangers.” She leaves me with that pearl of wisdom and moves down the bar to serve someone else.

I’m not sure it’s something I’ll get used to, or even want. And depending on where I choose to live after leaving Jerry’s, I might not have to. But in the cheery atmosphere of the pub, it’s not something I want to dwell on right now, so I don’t.

I’ve only just moved here, for fuck’s sake. House hunting can wait.

I push it to the back of my mind and tune in to the conversation Jerry’s having with the guy who’s appeared beside him. The ruggedly hot guy who’s looking way too familiar with Jerry for my liking.

“I’ve got some Nordmann firs coming in on Thursday. Good selection of four to seven footers.” He winks at Jerry. “I know you like ’em big.”

Jerry laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners as he shakes his head. “How old are you, Pete? Twelve?”

Pete? That’s not a name I recognise. I wait for Jerry to introduce me, like he has with everyone else who’s come up to say hello. And I speed things up by stepping close enough to Jerry that I bump his arm.

He turns towards me, lips still curved in a smile. “Reed, this is Pete Harbrook.” He moves enough for me to get a better look at Pete . “He and his sister Sadie run the Christmas tree farm up the road.”

Pete rolls his eyes. “It’s a little further than up the road. ” He holds out his hand. “Hi, it’s nice to finally meet the guy everyone’s been talking about.”

That makes me flush. I don’t know if he’s teasing me or telling the truth, and honestly, I’m not sure which I want it to be, so I just take his hand and return his smile. “Hey.” I point to the beautifully decorated tree in the corner of the pub. “Is that one of yours?”

Pete grins. “Yep. So’s the one outside.”

“They’re lovely trees.” They are. I’m not just saying it to be nice. Both trees have thick, full branches, evenly spread out without any noticeable gaps.

“Thanks.” His gaze flicks between me and Jerry and I wish I knew him well enough to read his expression. “You should come with Jerry when he drives over to pick out his tree.”

“Oh... I don’t—” have any idea what to say, so thank god Jerry interrupts.

“That’s a great idea.” Jerry turns his warm brown eyes on me, his gaze meeting mine and holding it. It’s like the rest of the pub disappears for that one moment as I’m the sole focus of his attention.

Then Pete breaks the spell as he snorts. “Maybe it won’t take you forever to pick one out if you have Reed to rein you in.”

Jerry catches my eye again and smiles. “Ignore him, Reed. He’s full of shit.”

Pete laughs and claps Jerry on the shoulder before saying his goodbyes and moving to talk to another group of people sat over in the corner.

Maybe it’s the beer loosening my tongue, but as I watch Pete walk away, I can’t help but wonder... “Soo... you and Pete?” I raise both eyebrows and it’s telling how Jerry gets my meaning immediately. Or maybe it isn’t and I’m just reading into it, because I’m feeling a little territorial, not that I have any right whatsoever, but there you go.

Jerry sets his empty glass on the bar, then shrugs. “Nope. Thought about it? Yes,” he adds before I can feel too happy about it. “More than once. But no, me and Pete have never hooked up.” Curiosity fills his gaze, and I just know he wants to ask me why I wanted to know, but he seems to think better of it.

“You ready to head back?” he asks instead. “I’m on call, so I want to get an early night just in case.”

Ahh, that’s why he had a soft drink instead of beer. “Yeah, course.” I drain the last of my lager, then say my goodnights to Hailey and a few others near the bar, which is a bit weird, but I guess something I’m going to have to get used to, and follow Jerry out.

“Jesus,” I hiss as soon as we get outside. “How did it get so cold?” It was chilly when we got here, but now it feels like ten degrees colder. My coat really isn’t cutting it against the biting wind that seems to have come from nowhere.

In response, Jerry pulls a woollen hat out of his pocket and slots in onto my head. It’s rainbow coloured with a big pink pompom on the end and probably looks ridiculous on me, but I don’t even care because it’s so warm.

“Thank you.” I tug it a bit lower over my ears, making Jerry laugh. I give him a quick once-over, noting the thick fleecy lining of his coat where he has the collar zipped right up to cover most of his neck. He’s also slipped on a pair of gloves, and he looks extremely snug, apart from his head.

Because you’re wearing his hat.

I should probably feel guilty about that, but I don’t. Instead, I feel a little fluttery inside, a small smile curling my lips. It stays in place all the way back to Jerry’s house.

Jen meets us with a welcoming bark, and as soon as we get inside, the warmth hits us. The sigh I let out borders on pornographic, and Jerry stumbles over his own feet, almost taking me out with him, but we manage to right ourselves before going over.

“You sure there was nothing in that coke you had?” I toe off my boots before looking up at him to see his cheeks flushed pink.

“I’m not the one making sex noises,” he mutters, wrestling with his laces. He finally gets his boots off and stands. We end up facing each other, far too close, and when I breathe in, I’m hit with the subtle scent of his aftershave.

He smells so good, it’s an effort not to lean forward and bury my nose in the crook of his neck. Pretty sure he’d let me if I asked, and I already know from experience he gives the best hugs. But we can’t go down that road. If Jerry wrapped his arms around me now, in the moody lighting of the hallway, I don’t think I’d have the willpower not to kiss him.

Once again Jen comes to the rescue, weaving between us and looking up at Jerry like he’s the best thing she’s ever seen. Can’t argue with her there.

And whoa ... I need to nix those thoughts right now or the next few weeks are going to be excruciating.

“Come on, then,” Jerry croons as he bends to stroke her. “Let’s take you out the back.”

I try to hand him his hat back as he passes, but he shakes his head.

“Keep it. I’ve got plenty of hats, and that one suits you more than it ever did me.” He’s gone before I can utter more than a quick thank you, Jen at his heels as they head through the house to the back door.

My heart is beating way too fast for my liking. He gave me a hat, not declared his undying love. But as I look down at the soft, colourful wool in my hand, I can’t stop my smile any more than I can stop the flutter in my belly.

I’m so fucked.