Festive Hearts And Kisses (Hope Valley Christmas 2)

12. Jerry

JERRY

I’m just pulling into the pub car park on Friday night when my phone buzzes with a text. It’s the thirteenth today, and any messages on Friday the thirteenth make me nervous. I relax as I read it and see it’s nothing serious.

Reed : Going to be a bit late, just finishing off some work.

Even though I’m disappointed he’s not here already, just seeing Reed’s name on my phone makes my insides tingle. Not that I’d ever admit that out loud.

As soon as I’m parked, I open the message and reply.

Jerry : You don’t have to come if you’re busy. Sean will understand.

He’ll moan that Reed’s working too much, but he won’t mind. Reed’s reply is almost instant and it makes me laugh out loud.

Reed : He’ll text me and tell me I’m working too much and when we see him next, he’ll tell me the same thing to my face. I’ll be there in about forty minutes.

That we sets off those butterflies again. I know I need to be careful where Reed and I are concerned, but I like this feeling. I like the flush of excitement I get when he does or says something that implies we’re a couple. Even though we’re not, and I know that, it’s not a feeling I’ve had in a while and it’s... nice.

Am I setting myself up for heartbreak?

Maybe.

Okay, more than likely. But at this point I think that’s inevitable, so I’m just going to enjoy the ride and deal with the fallout later.

Who knows, maybe we can pick it up at a later date when he’s settled in his new place. My gut tells me that once Reed moves out, that’ll be it. But I’ve been wrong before.

I reply, telling him I’ll see him in a bit, and get out of my car.

Christmas music greets me as I pull open the door to the Charnwell Inn. Shakin’ Stevens providing a cheery festive background to the laughter and conversation of a packed pub.

I glance around, finally spotting Sean and Vic in the corner near the open fire. Of course they’ve got empty glasses, and as soon as they see me, Sean lifts his then points to the bar.

Perfect timing, obviously.

Hailey’s behind the bar tonight, alongside Char’s sister. I snag a spot at the very end and wait for her to notice me. I’m in no hurry, so I take a seat and mess about on my phone.

“Hey, Jerry.” Hailey smiles when I look up. “What can I get for you?”

“I’ll have a pint and whatever Vic and Sean are drinking if you know it?”

“I do, because they’re creatures of habit. Like you. Back in a sec.” She moves away to get our drinks, and I go back to scrolling through the photos on my phone. I’m looking for a good one of my outside lights to send my mum, but a ton of the ones I took last night are blurry. I doubt any of them do it justice, to be fair, but surely one of them’s got to be okay.

The next one that pops up makes me pause, because I don’t remember taking it. The outside tree is front and centre of the photo, but in the background, Reed is leaning on the doorjamb of my front door.

I zoom in to see him better. He must’ve just come out of the shower, because he’s wearing sleep pants, and I remember him changing into them while I was outside. He’s resting his head against the frame, his arms crossed looking happy and relaxed as he watches something out of the picture.

Me , I think. He’s watching me.

“Ooh, what’s got you smiling like that?” Hailey sets three pint glasses in front of me , her eyebrows raised in question.

I’m too slow to zoom back out and she smirks as she sees what’s on the screen. “Your house looks lovely,” she says, and I give her a grateful smile for not calling me out.

“Thank you.” I pay and carry the drinks over to Vic and Sean.

“Perfect timing, as usual.” Sean laughs at my scowl, taking his and Vic’s drinks from me.

“Thank you,” Vic says, and I send him a smile, because unlike my best friend, Vic has manners.

“Where’s Reed?” Sean asks as I settle into my seat opposite them.

“Running late. He’s just finishing off some work.” I take a drink of my pint and savour the taste. It’s been a long week, but thankfully I’ve got the weekend off.

Sean tsks softly. “He works too much.”

I snort, thinking about Reed’s text message. “He said you’d say that.”

“Did he now?” He leans forward, studying me. “I will also say that he seems a lot happier now he’s moved here and switched jobs. Or...” He pauses and shares a look with Vic. I barely refrain from sighing because neither of them is subtle. “Maybe it’s something else putting that smile on his face.”

I frown, because I’m pretty sure Sean hasn’t seen him since Reed and I got together. “When did you see him last?”

His smile is sly, like he’s caught me out. “Why? Have things changed between you?”

This time I do sigh, because I’m not falling for that lame trap. “You implied you’d seen him smiling.” I shrug. “I just wondered when that was.”

Sean huffs. “Are you seriously not going to tell me?”

I smirk at him. “If there was anything to tell, it wouldn’t be just me who’d have to agree to other people knowing.” As much as I love Sean, and if it was anyone other than Reed, then I’d tell him in a heartbeat. But it is Reed, and that makes the situation a little more complicated with Sean also being his friend. We’ve not had the conversation about people knowing about us, and I’m not about to tell anyone until we have.

Sean looks like he’s about to argue, so I meet his eyes and turn serious. “Let it go for now, yeah?”

As soon as he realises I’m serious, he gives me a nod and drops the subject entirely. “So,” he says, “tell me about your week. Rumour has it you’ve been out of the clinic for most of it.”

Small towns are such gossips. I’m pretty sure Sean gets his information from one of the girls he works with, because she’s friendly with Sarah. Not that it’s a secret or anything.

What is surprising is that no one saw Reed and I kissing at the Christmas tree farm. No one from around here anyway. Sean would’ve had the answers to his questions if that were the case.

Either way, I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I take another drink and then fill Sean and Vic in on my visits to the dairy farm, probably in way more detail than either of them wanted.

When I finish my drink, Vic is only too happy to snatch up my empty glass and head to the bar for refills. I laugh as I watch him hurry away. “Too much?”

Sean snorts. “I think that’s more than he ever wanted to know about a cow’s internal organs.” He takes a quick glance back at the bar, then leans over the table, voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m thinking about getting Vic a ring for Christmas.”

It takes a second for the meaning to register. My eyebrows shoot up. “Fuck, really?” I’m obviously way too loud because Sean glares and shushes me.

“Yes,” he hisses. “Please act like we’re talking about boring shit. Vic’s way too clever as it is.”

I try and school my features, but my smile won’t go away. I’m so fucking happy for him. For both of them. “That’s amazing. And congratulations.”

“He hasn’t said yes yet.”

“He will, though.” There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Vic’s as crazy about Sean as he is about Vic.

Sean bites his lip, uncharacteristically nervous. “You don’t think it’s too soon?”

I shake my head. “Nope. You love each other.”

“We do.” He grins, and warmth fills me at how he positively glows with happiness.

“Then it’s definitely not too soon.”

After a beat he says, “Are you going to get Reed one?”

“ No !” Is he crazy?

“I don’t mean a ring, you idiot. A Christmas present.”

Oh. Right. “Er...” To be fair, I haven’t even given it a thought. I mean I know Christmas is in twelve days, so it’s not like I didn’t know it was coming, but the idea of getting Reed something never occurred to me. “Should I?”

“I don’t know, Jer. How close have the two of you got since he moved in?” He’s not teasing me this time. This is Sean asking me a serious question. One I think I can answer honestly, without breaking Reed’s trust. “I’m not sure if we’re that close.” And that stings a little. I’d like to say we were getting there, but I have no idea if a Christmas present from me would send him running.

I don’t have time to dwell on it, though, because Vic’s heading back with drinks and he’s not alone.

“Look who I found.” He sets the drinks on the table, and I think I manage to thank him, but all my attention is on Reed, standing next to him. He smiles when he sees me.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” I smile back, fully aware of Sean watching us, but I don’t care because Reed is a sight to behold. Hair a tousled mess, and skin flushed from the cold, his bright pink cheeks make his blue eyes standout more than ever, and I can’t look away.

Vic clears his throat, startling us both, and Reed’s flush deepens as he hurries to sit down. “How’s work going?”

Reed relaxes bit by bit as he fills Sean and Vic in on his new job and the people he works with. I’ve heard most of this before, and while I’m still listening to him, because he gets animated when he gets going and I love watching him like that, my mind wanders a little to mine and Sean’s earlier conversation.

Should I be getting Reed a Christmas present? Are we in that sort of relationship? Are we even in a relationship at all? And if I did get him one, what the hell would it be?

When Sean kicks me under the table, I tune back in to realise there’s a pause in the conversation and everyone’s looking my way. “What?”

Reed’s looking at me with what I think is a mix of nerves and... excitement? I look to Sean for help, and he doesn’t miss a beat.

“I was just asking if you and Reed wanted to come for a few drinks on Christmas Eve. If you’re not working, that is.”

I have absolutely no idea how to answer that and I want to kick Sean for putting us both on the spot. I glance at him, but he looks oblivious. And maybe he is. As far as he’s concerned, both Reed and I are his friends, so why wouldn’t he invite us both round. It just sounds so coupley and... and it’s possible I’m overthinking this.

Reed hasn’t said anything either so maybe he is too. After all, just because Sean asked us at the same time, it doesn’t mean he expects us to answer as one. “Yeah,” I say, purposefully not looking at Reed. “That sounds great. I’m working till one, but free after that.”

“Reed?” Sean turns to him, expectantly, and I have to give it to him, his expression gives nothing away when I’m positive he’s doing this for my benefit.

Reed doesn’t glance at me either when he answers. “Yeah, I’m free. Thank you.”

“Right.” Sean rubs his hands together. “Now that’s settled, I have a bone to pick with you.”

For a second I’m wondering what the hell I’ve done now, then I realise he’s still talking to Reed who looks adorably confused. His nose is all scrunched like he’s wracking his brain to think what he’s done wrong but is coming up empty.

“What about?” he asks eventually.

Sean tuts and Vic groans. “I thought we were friends. But you’ve been here for a few weeks now and yet this is the first time I’ve seen you.” He puts a hand on his chest. “I’m hurt, Reed. Hurt .”

Reed relaxes now he knows it’s nothing serious. At least I don’t think Sean’s serious. “Um... I’ve been busy?”

It comes out like more of a question, and I shake my head, because Sean’s got that gleam in his eye. I’m tempted to stand on his foot to get him to stop but then remember that he’s right. They are friends.

And they were friends long before Reed and I met.

So I keep my mouth shut and let two friends tease each other.

“Busy, huh?” Sean’s gaze flicks to me, then back to Reed. That fucker. He doesn’t say anything else though, and apparently Reed seems to have come to the same conclusion I did earlier because he gets a similar look in his blue eyes.

“Yes. You know, like how you were when you first met Vic and were too busy to even tell me you’d met someone, let alone someone you’d first met when you were at uni.” He raises an eyebrow, looking all smug like he’s got his own back, but I can see his mistake a mile off.

And so can Sean.

He waits a beat before going in for the kill. “So you’re saying that you and Jerry are like me and Vic?”

Reed’s eyes widen, and his mouth opens and closes as he realises that’s exactly what he implied. He turns to me, and I raise my hands. I’d love to help out, but there’s no way I’m touching that one.

I think it’s obvious by now, even to me, that I’d love for me and Reed to end up like Vic and Sean. But I can’t say that, obviously. It’s not what we agreed, and I’m not about to tell Reed I’ve changed my mind while we’re in the middle of a pub and not alone.

“I think,” Vic says, coming to everyone’s rescue. “That moving house and starting a new job is stressful enough without needy friends”—he shoots Sean a pointed look—“making you feel guilty about not having much time for socialising.”

“Fine.” Sean rolls his eyes, but his expression softens as he stares at his boyfriend.

Soon-to-be fiancé.

I keep that thought to myself, though. “How about this.” I’ve got everyone’s attention now. “Why don’t we meet up for a dog walk Sunday morning. The dogs love a play date.” I look at Sean. “And you can see your friend, if he’s up for it.” I reach over and ruffle his hair, making him laugh.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Reed?” I ask, because I’m not about to assume he wants to come, or that he’s free. “You up for a walk Sunday morning?”

He’s got a look on his face that I can’t read, but then it clears, and he offers me a small smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.” His eyes are fixed on me as he says it, and I feel it deep inside, like he’s telling me something significant, just not with words.

Or maybe I just want that to be the case. Either way, I’ll be spending my Sunday morning with my favourite people, so I’m happy.

Or I am until Vic asks what I expect he thinks is an innocent question, but it hits me like a sledgehammer.

“Had any interest in your house yet, Reed?”

Reed’s gaze flicks briefly to mine, before returning to Vic. “I mean it’s not been on the market all that long, but yeah, it’s had a fair bit of interest so far. A couple of viewings, but no offers yet.”

I didn’t know that.

I figured prospective buyers would be too busy with the holiday season to worry about looking for a new home. I guess I was wrong.

And if Reed sells his house, that means?—

“Have you found anywhere yet?” Vic asks, then grunts and shoots a glare at Sean, who I presume has just kicked him under the table.

Reed is oblivious. He shakes his head but suddenly looks a lot more animated.

I try not to feel offended at that. He has every right to get excited about finding a new place to live.

“No,” he says. “But I’ve a had little look at what’s out there in my price range. My boss was telling me about a few areas that might be a good fit.” He rattles off the names of places that I recognise. He’s right, they probably would be a good fit.

They’re also on the other side of Sheffield.

My heart sinks.

If he’s considering moving what would more than likely be an hour or so’s drive with traffic, then that doesn’t bode well for us seeing each other after he moves out. I mean, I know it’s not that far, really. Vic lived an hour or so from Sean when they first got together.

But they already had their own houses then.

Reed choosing to live that distance away feels like he’s making a choice about us too.

Don’t assume things, Jerry.

I’m pretty sure I gave that advice to Sean. I was right then, and I’m right now. Even if it’s hard not to jump to conclusions. Especially with Sean giving me pitying looks on the sly. I glare at him until he stops.

Eventually we finish our drinks and decide to head home for food, and in Vic and Sean’s case, probably sex first, judging by the looks they send each other.

Lucky them.

Reed and I shared a very lovely frottage session on the sofa the other night before I fell asleep on him, but I’m still unsure how to instigate things between us.

Unless we somehow fall into it, I don’t feel comfortable saying something like Want to fuck? But then I don’t want to leave it to circumstance in case it never happens again. Would Reed object if I just kissed him out of the blue? Is that allowed?

Meh, too many fucking rules.

I could just ask him.

Apparently everyone’s said their goodbyes while I’ve been brooding and they’re all looking at me. “See you on Sunday.” I give Sean a hug, then Vic.

As they leave, Reed asks, “Still leaving your car here?”

I rub the back of my neck. “Yeah, if that’s okay.” I’ve not had a lot to drink, but I’m never going to risk it. It’s not worth the possible consequences.

“Course.” I follow him out, wondering how to bring up the subject of spontaneous kissing and sex as we walk the length of the car park.

It takes me the whole journey home, before I think fuck it . I’m just gonna come out with it.

When Reed pulls onto the drive, I stop him from getting out with a hand on his arm. “This thing we’re doing...”

He sits back in his seat. “Yeah?”

“We said we’d ask when we wanted something, right?” I don’t miss the sudden blush creeping over Reed’s cheeks. I like it. But I don’t want to embarrass him, so I reach for his hand. “Is that still the case?”

He nods. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Well, this is me asking if I can kiss you.”

“Now?” he murmurs, already leaning towards me.

I was about to say no, because that’s not what I meant, but I catch it just in time. I can just imagine Reed’s reaction to that. Instead, I say, “Yes, but also when I come in from work, or when you do, or...” I hold out my hands. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say, exactly. Just that there are times I really want to kiss you, but I don’t know if it’s allowed, so I don’t. And then I regret it.”

I also want to fall asleep with him and wake up together, but I don’t say that. My gut tells me that’s an invisible line he’s drawn, and I have to respect that.

But kissing? I really hope he’s willing to bend on this.

He smiles, and I take that as a good sign. “I think kissing is okay.”

I smirk. “I like to think we’re a little more than okay at it.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I think I do, but maybe clarify just to be sure.”

That blush intensifies, but he’s not deterred. “We can kiss. Doesn’t mean it has to lead to more.”

More as in relationship status or more as in sex? I don’t know if he’s being intentionally ambiguous, but I decide not to press. He probably means both.

But still, I’ll take it.

And I do.

Unclipping my seatbelt, I shift position and draw him to me with a hand on his neck. He meets me halfway across the centre console. It’s an awkward angle but we make it work, and kissing Reed is worth it a hundred times over.

I lose myself in the warmth of his mouth, the tease of his tongue, and the way his hands slide onto my thighs and grip me tight like he wants to keep me here forever.

And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.