Festive Hearts And Kisses (Hope Valley Christmas 2)

15. Reed

REED

We get a lift home. There aren’t really any taxis this time on Christmas Eve, not that it’s all that late, but we’re out in the sticks. I wave at Hailey as she drives away, a bemused smile on my face, still not used to the way everyone seems to rely on each other here.

“All right?” Jerry asks, his hand finding mine again, like it has ever since I told him it was okay.

I wasn’t lying when I said I liked it.

I close my fingers around his. “Yeah.”

We turn towards the house and I stop in my tracks, because it’s a sight that needs a moment’s appreciation. It’s not the first time I’ve seen Jerry’s house all lit up, but it’s Christmas Eve, the night is crisp, clear, and just... magical.

“Wow,” I breathe.

Jerry hums in agreement and we stand and watch the lights on his outside Christmas tree slowly fade in and out. He knocks his shoulder against mine. “Come on. Let’s go inside.”

As usual, we’re greeted by happy barks and less-than-impressed meows, which never fails to amuse me. Cats are such arseholes.

Jerry leads them all into the kitchen to feed them while I take my time slipping out of my boots and hanging up my coat.

Something about tonight feels different, and I don’t mean just because it’s Christmas Eve. Maybe that’s part of it, but something’s changed between me and Jerry. I can feel it.

Maybe it should scare me, but it doesn’t. And I’m not too fussed about examining why right now, because Jerry’s leaning against the kitchen doorjamb, watching me.

He glances up at the mistletoe still hanging above him, a smile curving his lips when he looks back at me.

Oh, it’s like that, is it?

His arms slide around my waist when I reach him, pulling me close. It’s the easiest thing in the world to lean in and kiss him. There’s no hesitation, no worrying if this is ok, if it’s what we both want. At some point we’ve moved on from that stage, and I’d be kidding myself if I tried to pass this off as something casual.

But I’ll be moving out in the near future and I’m still unsure what that’ll mean for us. Forced proximity is a thing . How can I be sure that we’ll still feel this way when we’re not living in the same space?

I guess there’s only one way to find out, but that’s a problem for future Reed. It’s Christmas Eve, I’ve got my arms full of Jerry and his hard cock pressing against my hip. Now is so not the time for introspection. It’ll all be there in the morning, so I’m gonna ignore everything except the man currently taking me apart with his hot mouth and talented tongue.

He kisses me like I’m the only thing in his world right now, the centre of all his attention, and it’s a heady feeling I could easily get used to. His fingers dig into my hips as he backs me up against the nearest wall, grunting in approval when it gives me leverage to grind against him. Honestly, with the way we’re going at it, I could probably come right here in his hallway, especially when his kisses trail down my throat and he growls out “ bed ” against my skin.

My mind is totally on board with it, but my body is too busy reacting to the scrape of his teeth along my collarbone, the press of his cock against mine as he rolls his hips. And for the next few minutes there’s just the sound of shaky inhales and low moans as neither of us moves from the tight embrace were locked in.

But there’s no fucking way I’m not getting him naked tonight.

“Jerry,” I murmur, making a half-hearted effort to ease him off me, because the last thing I want him to do is stop touching me. I need him to meet me halfway if we have any chance of making it upstairs. “I want—” He slides a hand between us, palming my dick, and my filthy moan is so loud I’d be embarrassed if I wasn’t so fucking turned on right now. “Naked.” It’s all I can manage as I thrust into his touch, desperate for more. More of everything, anything, I don’t care at this point, I just want it.

I’m so gone, I try and pull him back against me when my words finally seem to register and Jerry takes a step back.

His eyes are dark, pupils blown, as he sweeps a hungry gaze over me and reaches out a hand. “Come on.” His voice is low, rough, and my body instantly obeys like it knows what’s in store if we do what he says, and I grasp his hand tight.

He leads me up the stairs to his bedroom, and his eyes never leave mine as we shed our clothes in what has to be record time for me. I don’t think I’ve ever been so coordinated in my life, and I manage to get everything off without falling over or getting stuck. It means I’m already naked when he gets tangled up in his T-shirt. With the material covering his face as he tries to wrestle himself free, I take the opportunity to help him with his underwear.

He stills as I hook my thumbs in the waistband and slide his tight black boxers slowly over his hips. His cock is right there, begging for some attention, and I drop to my knees and give in to the urge to taste him.

I take him deep, teasing the length of him with my tongue as I suck him slow and thorough.

“ Reed ,” Jerry whispers, the sound muffled by his T-shirt, but the desperation is loud and clear. I want him to say my name like that at least a few more times tonight, so as much as I want to stay exactly where I am, I give him one last lazy suck and then stand to help him escape his clothes.

As soon as he’s free, he kisses me, chasing the taste of himself as he walks me back towards the bed. We tumble down onto it, a mess of limbs and laughter, and I love that we can be like this. When he rolls me on top of him, his eyes are alight with both amusement and a heat so intense I feel it wash over me, setting my skin on fire.

“Fuck me,” he murmurs, dragging me down so our lips crash together in a move that steals my breath, steals my words too so all I can do is grunt in agreement. There’s nothing I want more in this moment than to sink inside him, to take him apart and hear him moan my name again and again.

Like our kiss downstairs, it’s so fucking easy to take the lube and condom he shoves towards me. To settle between his spread legs and make room for myself. He gasps as I push my cock inside him, and it feels so fucking good I need to take a moment to just breathe .

“Hey.” Jerry’s hands tangle in my hair, lifting my head until our eyes meet. His expression softens, full of an emotion I’m not ready to put a name to, but it fills me with a warmth I feel all the way to my toes. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” I smile, can’t not with him looking at me like that. He tugs me into a kiss that starts off slow, a lazy exploration as we find our rhythm. My hips move of their own accord, drawn into action when Jerry wraps his legs around my back.

It’s all-consuming, this feeling spreading throughout my body, my skin on fire everywhere we touch. Low, guttural moans fill the air between us, and every grind of my hips pulls me closer to that edge as I thrust into him again and again.

“Fuck, Reed .” Jerry grips the back of my neck with one hand, the other snaking between us to wrap around his cock. I want to watch, want to see the moment he falls apart, but I can’t tear my gaze away from his.

There’s so much emotion in his eyes, it almost hurts to stare into them, but I welcome every tug on my heart because the hurt is so fucking good. Everything narrows down to the grip of Jerry’s body as his legs tighten around me, his back arches, and those beautiful eyes of his snap shut as he comes.

It starts at the base of my spine, pleasure building and building as I watch him come undone beneath me. It’s the most beautiful sight, and I bite my lip, thrusting into him as he rides the waves of his orgasm until I can’t hold back any longer.

I come with my face buried in the crook of his neck, the scent of him filling my lungs as I cling to him for all I’m worth.

Silence settles around us, broken only by our laboured breathing until Jerry wraps his arms around me, and he whispers, “Merry Christmas.”

I lift my head enough to glance to the side, seeing his phone lit up on the bedside table.

It’s five past midnight.

I kiss the base of his throat, slowly working my way up until I reach his mouth. “Merry Christmas.” I kiss him properly, pouring everything into it that I’m not ready to admit just yet, and hoping he gets it.

His smile is soft as he strokes my cheek, his eyes reflecting everything back at me, and it would be the perfect moment to say the words that I’m pretty sure we’re both thinking. But I can’t, it’s way too soon, and I’m not in a position to offer that to him. Not yet.

“We should get cleaned up,” he says eventually, and even though the last thing I want to do right now is move, I force myself to get up and let him lead me into the bathroom.

This is the point I’d usually go back to my own room.

Jerry must feel the same shift in our relationship as I do, because once we’re as clean as we’re going to get without a shower, he takes my hand again and walks us back to his bedroom. Neither of us speak as we climb into bed and pull the quilt over us.

Only when I’m tucked up behind him with an arm draped over his waist does he murmur, “This okay?”

I don’t think I’ve ever been more okay than I am right now. Before I can answer, there’s the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs, and soon enough we’re joined by Jen, Kyla, and eventually Frank.

Jerry groans as Jen stands on him before settling at the foot of the bed, and I smother a laugh against his shoulder, then finally answer his question. “Yeah, this is perfect.”

Christmas morning brings with it a gentle dusting of snow. Enough that Jen can run about like an idiot chasing the falling snowflakes, but not so bad that it closes the roads.

We’re woken up by a FaceTime call from Sean and a very excited Vic, proudly showing off the ring on his left hand. After many congratulations and the worst surprised face I’ve ever seen from Jerry, we say goodbye and eventually get up.

A quick shower and mutual handjobs later, true to his word, Jerry makes Christmas dinner with all the things , and it’s the most delicious thing ever. So good that afterwards we’re both too full to do anything other than collapse on the sofa and watch whatever’s on the TV.

It’s not until later that Jerry takes my hand, studying my fingers in a way that makes me immediately pay attention to him. “All right?”

Jerry sighs before looking up. “I know we didn’t talk about Christmas presents...” He trails off and I sit up a bit straighter.

“Please tell me you didn’t get me one, because that’s going to make me feel like an arse for not getting you one.”

He laughs and shakes his head, and thank fuck for that. I know there’s something though, so I nudge his knee with mine. “What is it then?”

“Well...” He checks the time on his phone and curses softly. “I didn’t get you anything, but then I got a text this morning, and well... it seemed perfect at the time. But now I’m not so sure.”

I have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about but can’t deny I’m a little intrigued and excited. A present is a present, right? So it’s no surprise I’m smiling when I turn my head to face him. “Tell me.”

The doorbell rings, making us both jump. Jerry nods towards the door. “At this point, it’ll be easier if I just show you.”

Beyond curious now, I get up and follow him to the door. When he opens it, the hot vet from his clinic is on the other side, beaming at Jerry in a way that makes my teeth itch, but then my gaze catches on what he’s carrying.

A small cat carrier.

“Merry Christmas,” the guy says as he hands the carrier to Jerry. Then he’s gone before I think of anything to say, waving over his shoulder as he hurries back to his car.

Jerry shuts his front door, and then it’s just me, him, and a cat carrier. Oh and Jen, because obviously she needs to investigate the new arrival. “So...” Jerry scrunches his nose, when a tiny high-pitched meow fills the hallway.

I raise an eyebrow.

He sighs. “The cat and kittens they brought in the other week need rehoming. Mark took the mother and one of the kittens, and I thought maybe... um... well, Frank seems to like the company here, and I didn’t want him to be on his own when you eventually move into your own place.”

There’s a sudden lump in my throat.

I don’t know if it’s because that’s so fucking thoughtful of him or the fact that he’s already planning for when I leave, which is fucking ridiculous because I’m the one who’s been insistent that’s going to happen at some point.

“It’s no problem if you don’t want her, I can always keep her here,” he says quickly when I still haven’t said anything, and it spurs me into finding my voice.

“No, I’d love to take her. You’re absolutely right about Frank getting used to the company here.”

So have I.

I take the carrier from him and kiss him so thoroughly we’re both breathing heavily by the time I step back. “Thank you.”

He smiles this time, eyes crinkling at the corners, and I’m struck again by just how fucking lovely he is in every way. “I didn’t get you anything, though.”

Before I can start to feel guilty, he shakes his head. “This has already been one of the best Christmas’s I’ve had in a long, long time, Reed. I don’t need anything else.”

Fuck me, what am I supposed to say to that? I kiss him again because the words that would fit in this moment still won’t come, and nothing else seems right, so I let my mouth talk for me and kiss him with everything I’m feeling inside.

We name the little grey kitten Fae. I tell Jerry it’s because she’s small and delicate like a fairy, but really it’s because this day has been so fucking magical it seems only fitting. After some curious sniffing and the odd hiss, Fae is accepted into the gang of two cats and a dog and when we go to bed that night, she curls up with Frank in the overpriced fluffy bed I bought him. It’s the cutest thing I’ve seen, and I may have had a little tear or two at the sight of them.

And at the realisation that it’s going to hurt all around when I eventually move out.

“Drive carefully.” Jerry hands me my backpack and the bag of presents I’m taking to my parent’s house.

Boxing Day morning is thankfully crisp and clear but with no snow. It’s still taken me longer than normal to actually get ready to leave.

That would be the lazy morning sex you had with Jerry.

I slept in his bed again last night.

Waking up wrapped in his arms is my new favourite thing, but neither of us have mentioned this new development. I know we need to talk about it, but there hasn’t been the right moment. Instead, I say, “You sure you’re all right keeping Frank and Fae while I’m gone?”

Jerry rolls his eyes. “Yes. For the hundredth time.”

“Okay.” I open the door, the cold hitting me and making me shiver. “I’ll see you in a few days, then.”

“Yeah.” He grips my coat and pulls me into a kiss that quickly deepens until he’s got me pressed against the wall. There’s no wonder I’m finding it hard to leave the house. But he steps back before I can think of an excuse to stay. “Safe trip.”

“Thanks.” I finally force myself to step outside and walk to my car. I can feel Jerry watching me as I put my bags on the back seat. And it’s harder than it should be to open the driver’s door and get in.

I’m just about to start the engine when Jerry shouts from the doorway.

“Reed, wait .” He runs out of the house in slippers .

I lower my window, frowning as he comes to a stop next to my car. “What’s wrong?”

He reaches in and strokes a hand along my jaw. “I know this is the worst time for this conversation, but I can’t watch you drive off for the next five days without telling you how I feel.”

Oh god, we’re doing this now? My mouth moves without my permission. “And how’s that?”

Jerry takes a moment, eyes searching mine. “I don’t want you to move out. But I don’t want you to be my lodger anymore either.” He puts a finger over my lips as I open my mouth to say who the fuck knows what. “Let me finish, please.”

I nod.

“I want my house to be our house. I know you love it here, in Charnwell, and the last few weeks have been the best weeks of my life. I know you’ve got your heart set on finding a new house somewhere else, and of course I’ll support you one hundred percent if that’s what you want. But I wanted to put another option on the table.”

“Staying with you?”

“Yes. You can buy half my house if that’d make you feel better about staying.” His eyes get comically wide and I’m pretty sure mine do the same. “Not that you have to,” he adds quickly. “And maybe that’s too big a step at this stage but if we do this…” His expression softens. “I just want it to feel like your home, too. But we can discuss all that later.”

“I—”

“Don’t decide now. I know this is a lot. Take the next few days to think about it.” He leans in to kiss me. It’s over far too quickly for my liking. “But also know that I’ll still feel the same about you no matter what you decide.” He kisses me again, then turns and jogs back to his house.

As he closes the door and I start the engine, I realise I never asked him one very important question.

How does he feel about me ?

I think I know, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I think about it on and off for the next few days. Through Boxing Day dinner with my parents and the days spent visiting friends and relatives. It’s not until I meet up with Paul for a drink, just the two of us, that someone finally notices my mind is elsewhere.

“Okay, it’s just me and you now, so spill.” Paul sits back in his chair, arms crossed, pint untouched on the table in front of him.

“What do you mean?”

He gives me a pointed look. “I know there’s something going on with you. You didn’t even notice when your mum sent me home with a ton of leftovers the other day. Normally you give her shit for spoiling me instead of you, but this year, nothing. Not a fucking peep. So what’s wrong?”

Christmas music plays in the background, the pub we’re in is decorated to the nines but it’s not the same as the Charnwell Inn, and I have the strongest urge to be back there. Back with Jerry. And that’s all it takes for the words to spill out. “Jerry asked me to move in with him.”

“But...” Paul frowns, confused. “You already live with him.”

“Not as his lodger,” I clarify. “As his boyfriend. Partner. Whatever you want to call it.” I wave a hand because that’s not the important part here.

“And?”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not? I know you like him. More than like him judging by the way you look all soft whenever someone mentions his name.”

“I do not.”

Paul laughs. “Sorry to tell you, mate, but you so fucking do.”

He’s right, so I give up trying to deny it. “Yeah, I like him.” More than like him , like Paul said. “It’s too soon, though.”

“Is it?”

I give him my best incredulous glare. “I’ve only been there since late November. That’s... six weeks at most. I hardly know him.”

“That’s not true, though, is it?” He sobers, sitting forward and reaching for my hand. “Reed, it’s not been just the last six weeks.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve essentially being seeing Jerry for months. Ever since you started texting.”

“But—”

“Think about it. Before you moved in with him, how often did you text him?”

I fidget in my seat, uncomfortably aware he has a point. “Nearly every day,” I mumble.

“And how often do you text me since you moved away?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Once a week.”

He laughs. “If I’m lucky.” I wince, but he quickly shakes his head. “I’m not saying that to make you feel bad. I’m just as shit at it as you are. My point is that even before you moved in with Jerry, you were in a relationship. Maybe you didn’t see him every day, and maybe you hadn’t crossed that line between friends, and more ... But you can’t sit there, look me in the eye and tell me you don’t know him.”

“Fuck.” I scrub a hand through my hair. He’s right, so fucking right, and I think a part of me has known that all along. “Then what am I so afraid of?”

Paul sighs. He’s still got hold of my hand, and he gives it a squeeze. “You know what. It’s scary to think about trusting someone again after what happened with Karl, of course it is. But Jerry isn’t Karl.” His voice softens. “Only you know whether you’re ready to take that chance with someone again, and there’s nothing to say you can’t move into your own house and still keep seeing Jerry. Unless he said otherwise?”

“No, of course he didn’t.”

Paul shrugs. “Well... I guess it’s something you need to think about then.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Like I’ve been thinking about anything else these past few days. But Paul’s given me another perspective. Because he’s right, I haven’t just known Jerry for the few weeks I’ve been living with him.

But do I know him well enough to trust him with my heart?