Fighting With Light (The Coldwell Brothers #2)

23. Liam

23

Liam

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and look at the organizer behind the table. I didn’t even get checked in for them to tell us we had to postpone again. To say I am annoyed is a major understatement. My skin feels like it’s about to come off my body because I’m so itchy to get on the water, and the longer I wait, the more nervous I get. The goal is to be calm and relaxed. I haven’t done my normal workouts for the past couple of days in anticipation of surfing. But no, Mother Nature has to send in a storm to ruin everything.

Aelia hasn’t said a word to me all morning since we got back, likely sensing how pissed I am.

I stand in the living room watching as the ocean thrashes against the cliffs and the rain pelts the windows. I should work on digging into the transportation process once the guns get to the States. But I’m more curious about my father’s potential interaction with cocaine that comes over the border through Mexico. The mystery can’t solve itself until I move my feet. Maybe I should work out instead, just a little one, to get the blood pumping.

“Liam?” Aelia whispers behind me.

I look at her over my shoulder, and back to watching the epic waves crash against the cliffs. I can feel her get closer, but I keep my back to her. I’m not mad, just irritated at the situation. It’s important to keep cool with bumps in the road, but I’m struggling today, and the mission we’re on makes it difficult. I just want to make it to the next leg in El Salvador and hopefully go right into some beautiful waves. Then we can jet down to Colombia.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asks, placing her hand on my chest. I swear it feels like my heart just jumped as it thuds against her palm .

I shrug and keep looking out the window.

“I’m sorry your competition got canceled. I know that probably doesn’t help.”

Her hand drops from my chest and I consider doing some push-ups or running. I don’t know, something .

“Liam?” Her soft voice rips through my irritation and I turn. Her hair is a little frizzy from the warm, humid air, and gold hoops hang from her ears. She’s wearing a cropped hoodie with a sports bra and frilly shorts that look like they are supposed to be for running, but aren’t for athletics at all. I glance down at the sliver of her stomach exposed from the cropped shirt and swallow thickly.

“I’m going to go work out,” I tell her and run my hand through my hair. I need to move. I need to do something. I reach for the back of my t-shirt and whip it off, tossing it onto the couch. I start to leave, and then she grabs my hand. My body freezes and I feel caught. I feel like I should give in to her, not just because she wants it, but because I want to.

But last night, when she kissed me while adrenaline ran through our bodies. The high of excitement for getting the pictures we needed was maybe even more exhilarating than catching a big wave or climbing a difficult route. Normally if I had done that with my brothers, it would have been fun, but with Aelia, it was…thrilling, I want to do it again.

Last night was not just confirmation that our chemistry was off the charts. I knew that because I felt it almost immediately the moment she spoke to me. Last night proved that we are a good team, and I know without a doubt the instant we cross the line we’ve been inching our toes over, I will be submersing myself in the outcome I have always been afraid of because when this is over, she will leave. She will go back to her family and, for once, want to be there because her father won’t. She deserves that. She deserves to spend time with her mom and even her brothers.

I’ll have my family, but not much will change because I’m bouncing around the world and they’re in California. Kai has a family now, Emerson doesn’t seem interested in anything like that, and I don’t know what I want because I’ve never given myself the chance to envision what that could look like, other than being alone.

I look down at Aelia’s hand in mine and my fingers move around hers. My heart thrums and my mouth goes dry. The rain turns into white noise as I look her in the eye, and I see nothing but longing coming from them.

“Liam,” she rasps.

My name on her lips feels like her fingers in my hair—it soothes.

I tug her hand, pulling her into my front, and she catches herself on my chest at the last second.

With one hand at her lower back, I clasp her jaw and tilt her chin up with my thumb. She stares up at me with parted lips I want to taste and savor.

“I want you, Aelia,” I tell her over the gravel in my throat.

Her eyes widen and my skin feels like it’s on fire in all the places we’re touching. I wonder what it would feel like to have absolutely nothing between us.

“Will you let me have you?”

“Please,” she whispers over her dusky lips. They are almost perfect, but her Cupid’s bow is not as pronounced. Her lips look softer because of it, like they are meant to be pressed against mine, like they are perfect for me.

Keeping my grip on her, our lips brush like the rain that falls on a leaf. It hits and then cascades down, feeding the plant like it’s feeding my lonely soul.

“This is going to hurt, isn’t it?” she whispers across my lips.

I lean my forehead against hers and nod. She’s not referring to sex. She’s talking about the tangible harmony that we have because it has become this living thing between us. It has been almost impossible to ignore and feels a lot like what I think…love might be like.

“Then we better make the heartbreak worth it,” she says.

I look her in the eye one more time, waiting for her to change her mind and push me away. Only she leans in, waiting for me to take control. And that’s how I know I’m done for. She trusts me to take care of her, to keep her safe, to protect her. She’s giving me the power that she has never allowed another to have .

Gently pressing my lips on hers, I slide my hand from her jaw to the back of her neck. Tingles spread through my body and longing replaces the loneliness that has sat in my heart for so long. I yearn for her to want this as much as me. This is not lust, this is not a basic carnal desire to feel good for moments. This is more .

I know in the marrow of my bones that she is the piece of me. She is my missing rib.

Her mouth opens to me and my tongue grazes hers as she sighs into the kiss, leaning into my body. I hold her until it’s not enough. She pulls away and hops into my arms, and I carry us to my room. She fits in my arms like she’s meant to be there all along, and it’s the dumbest thing I have ever said to myself. I don’t feel this way about anyone… except for her.

I don’t know why God put her in my life. We are two people that have no business being together, but there is a reason people say man plans and God laughs. I may not have had a plan for my future, but putting her in my present forces me to look at it, and maybe, just maybe, that’s the point of all of this. Maybe my future isn’t so lonely after all because there is one person who sees me and is only asking for more. I don’t deserve it, I know that, but at this point, I don’t know if I can stop myself, either.

She lets go of my neck, expecting me to put her on the bed. Instead, I turn around and fall back in what feels like slow motion into the feather comforter. She pushes herself up and looks down at me with her hair falling over her shoulders and brushing my face. Our eyes lock and I can feel her marking me. She has stamped my heart forever, and no matter what happens in the future, she will forever have a part of me.

Aelia leans in and kisses me with gentle intent as her tongue dips against mine, and it sends shudders down my spine. I grip her face between my hands and her elbows buckle, failing to hold her up. Pressing my lips to her one more time, I flip us so I’m on top and dive back into that velvet mouth, inhaling her cherry-sweet scent. We explore each other with a primitive need to answer our silent call. She whimpers into my mouth and her hips jolt. My body almost quakes against hers and I run my hand down her frame, over her hip, to her smooth thigh .

She lifts her leg around my hip and I pull back, lifting us at the same time so she’s sitting in my lap. I grab the hem of her shirt and toss it, leaving her in a strappy sports bra. She grazes the tips of her nails over my skin, making me shudder. She presses kisses up my neck as I drag my hands up and down her ribs. Aelia leans back and grabs the edges of her bra to pull it over her head.

I stare at her chest for a moment then she leans in, sucking on my pulse, and my blood roars. This slow and steady build-up is too thick, too difficult to feel, it’s nearly suffocating. Her hands drape over my shoulders and she binds her warmth to mine. I groan with the contact, drawing my hands up and down her spine. She tugs my hair back and takes my mouth again, wild and unrestrained in her desire. Her hips roll against me and I grip them hard, helping her. She whimpers and pulls away, resting her head on my shoulder as her hips move in even circles.

“That’s it, baby,” I encourage her. She moans in my ear and the sound alone provokes the fire that we’ve been stoking for so long.

Her hips circle faster and I push her off my lap and get to my knees. She cries out in frustration and bites down on her lip while I reach for her shorts and pull them down her legs. “Tu es magnifique,” I growl. She turns her head as if she’s embarrassed and I grip her hand. “You’re not shy, princess, don’t start now.”

She drops her hand and watches me admire her, as her chest lifts and falls with quick breaths. I untie my shorts and kick them off. My whole body feels jittery and reckless. I’m the wire, and she’s the water—sparks are inevitable.

I graze my finger over her chest and goosebumps rise in my path. She moans out, tipping her head back. Then I skim my hand down her stomach to her center, brushing her with my knuckle. Her hips jolt up and she inhales sharply as I move in a steady rhythm. I watch in awe as her eyes close and she grips the sheets, tilting her head back, exposing her pretty neck.

“Merde,” I curse and curl my fingers, watching her turn into a puddle for me. “C’est bien,” I grunt. She pulses her hips and cries into the ceiling. She lays there for a beat, then sits up, grabbing my hand to tug me down over her body.

“I need you, Liam,” she whispers and runs her hands through my hair, pushing it out of my face .

“You have me,” I rasp and lift my hips and gently push myself forward. I’ve never felt so unhurried before, but it feels like we have all the time in the world, even if we don’t. Time halts around us as I give her body the attention it demands from me because she deserves to be cared for with slow, deliberate intention. She lifts her head and looks down at us. Her eyes flare and legs spread wider, and fireworks explode under my skin. She groans and digs her nails into my back.

“Open your eyes, princess.”

Her long lashes flutter open, revealing her beautiful moss-colored eyes as they lock onto mine.

I set our deliberate, languid pace. She lifts and I push, and all I feel is her. All I taste is her, and she tastes every bit of the future I can see with her, and that scares the shit out of me.

“Liam, I—” she cries.

“I know, baby, I know,” I tell her. I know she feels it as a tear slips from her eye, and we gasp for air as our bodies move together in what I can only call making love. The bed creaks beneath us and I hear faint thunder crack as rain continues to fall.

“I can’t—” she gasps.

Refusing to let this end, I lift up onto my knees and grab her hips, dragging her back to me, forcing her back to arch, and she grips the sheets above her head. “You can,” I grunt.

“Liam,” she cries out again. I pulse my hips, quickening our pace. She groans long and low, and I slide my hand over her dewy body, grip her throat, and squeeze.

She gasps and surprises me, as she clenches her abdomen sitting all the way up to wrap her arms around my neck, throwing me off balance. I fall back onto my butt, too taken by this goddess of a woman, and I hold her ramming my hips up. Aelia cries into my ear as her rough breaths brush against my cheek.

“Yes,” she moans.

I groan, knowing this can’t last much longer because she overwhelms every inch of me. She slips her hand between us, and I push it away, replacing her thumb with mine. Her eyes spring open as she looks down at me, holding the back of my head so we are a breath apart. She kisses me and we pant against each other’s mouths, sharing every breath as we fall over the deep and warm edge together.

Aelia sputters, gripping my hair for purchase as ecstasy rolls through her and consumes me. Our bodies continue rocking together, still chasing the heart-bursting effect that we have created with each other.

Laying her back onto the bed, I throw myself next to her and she curls into my chest, nuzzling her nose into my neck.

I lost track of time a while ago, but we lay in silence for so long the rain soothes me to sleep and Aelia’s soft hand comes to my cheek. I open my eyes and she stares for a moment before pressing her lips to mine. What we just shared was so…soft.

An ache blooms in my chest at the thought. I’ve never had that before. I’ve never had someone hold my heart in their hands, let alone hold it without hesitation to keep it safe. Aelia has done that. She has taken my heart and she has no idea what that means.

Now, I can never let her go.

I knew it would hurt if I ever had the chance to fall, but I never could have predicted it would be with a woman who was supposed to be my enemy.