Filthy Devil (Dark Horse MC #6)

Chapter 24

CHAPTER

TWENTY-FOUR

JAMES

After Bugsy leaves, and I’m left alone with Nash, he calls me over to his bedside again. I’m not sure how I went from walking away forever to refusing to leave his side, but here I am. I sink down beside him again as he takes his hand in mine and his eyes connect to my own. Focusing on me, staring at me like there is nobody else in this whole world.

“I know you’re on the edge. On the verge of running away.”

“Nash—” I begin, but he shakes his head once, and I snap my lips closed. Clearly, he wishes to speak. So I let him. And honestly, what would I say? That it’s a lie? It’s not. I was and am on the brink of trying to get the hell away from everything.

“You are. I can see it in your eyes. I’m asking you this, James. If you want to run because you don’t really want to be with me, then I’ll get you all set up somewhere safe. But if you are ready to run over some fucked-up sense of protection, then you can just let all that shit go. Because you aren’t protecting a damn person if you walk away.”

I flick my gaze down to my lap before I slowly lift it again, my eyes meeting his. “Nash, seeing you like that…”

He raises his arm, and his fingers curl around the side of my neck and firmly hold me there. When his fingers flex, I suck in a breath. My tongue slips out to wet my dry bottom lip.

“Fuck seeing me like that, sweetheart. Fuck it. Because it won’t ever happen again. I stupidly let my guard down. And that is on me.”

“But this,” I whisper, gently reaching out and placing my hand on his injury, “this is on me. I was the idiot who agreed to their terms. I should just go with them, and this can be done and over with.”

Wrong.

Thing.

To.

Say.

“No,” Nash growls. “Just fucking no.”

I open my mouth to argue some more because, apparently, I cannot understand these textual clues, so I just keep going and pissing him off more and more. His angry blue eyes darken right in front of me.

“You should absolutely not go with them, James. You want to be raped in every orifice until you die? Maybe add in some torture on the side? Because that is what will happen to you. Not sure what they had planned before, but that is definitely on the table now.”

I gulp, a knot in my throat, my eyes wide as my imagination takes over and I think about the scene he’s just laid out for me. He didn’t even have to go into detail, because I am seeing it in my mind, and my whole body trembles just thinking about it.

“Don’t think you want that,” he grunts, his anger still apparent. “Besides, when we’re finished with these fucks, there won’t be anyone to take you anywhere because they’ll all be dead.”

Before I can respond, he roughly pulls me forward, his face just centimeters from mine. His lips are almost touching my own. I’ve almost forgotten about the anger, about running, about the argument.

I’ve almost forgotten because I want him to kiss me that damn badly.

“If you want to leave, James, then go. I won’t make you stay. But you walk away. You’re not coming back.”

He releases me, and the suddenness of it causes my body to physically jerk backward as if he hit me. And he did, just not with his hands. He hit me with his words. I instantly feel sick to my stomach.

“Nash,” I whisper.

Tears fill my eyes, mainly because I really screwed this up, and I don’t know how to fix it. I keep screwing this up. My breathing starts coming out in pants as I begin to panic. Standing from the bed, I take a step backward, but only one, before I stop.

“It’s not just you in this. Your son, your daughter-in-law, your grandsons. I can’t allow anything to happen to them because of something I created. And I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to any of them.”

The anger in his gaze slowly dissipates. I don’t know if it’s because I mentioned his grandsons or what, but everything I said was the truth.

“Your clubhouse burned down, Nash. They could have been inside. They could have gotten hurt.” Tears well in my eyes and instantly begin to slide down my cheeks. Then my lip begins to tremble, and I full-on ugly cry.

“Shit,” he hisses. “Come here, sweetheart.”

Nash’s voice softens as he calls me over. I stay where I am for a moment, trying to get myself together, but I’m not sure it works. Because I still feel like I’m a rattled mess. He calls me over again, his tone a bit more stern this time.

That’s when my feet move. It's as if my body does what it wants without me actually forcing it to in any way. When I sink down on the side of the bed again, he reaches for my hands and holds them with his.

“Nothing happened to any of them,” he whispers. “And it won’t. This shit is going to be done, and everything will go back to a more normal state. We have to rebuild the clubhouse, but we have the strip club still.”

“How can you be so calm?” I snap.

His lips curve up into a smile. “Because you care about my family more than you do yourself.”

“I’m not sure what that means,” I whisper.

But I do.

I know exactly what that means. When his fingers wrap around the back of my neck this time, it’s gentle and sweet. He pulls me forward until his mouth touches mine, and I feel like my entire body relaxes in that instant.

“You’re not going anywhere, are you, James?” he murmurs against my mouth.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good girl,” he grunts, and then I feel his tongue slide across the seam of my lips.

I part them instantly before he slips his tongue inside of me and tastes me. In this moment, I am lost to this man, and I don’t ever want to be found. This is who I belong to. I was full of complete shit when I thought I could leave him in an effort to protect him and his family.

There is no leaving Nash—he is already part of me. I am wholly in love with him. I was stupid to think I could leave. Stupid to think I had any control over this situation because I don’t—I’ve lost it all, and I’m okay with that.

NASH

I’m not sure if it’s completely penetrated yet, but I hope it is starting to sink in with James that I don’t want her to go fucking anywhere. Tomorrow is not promised, no matter what the fuck is going on in your world, and I want to spend today with her.

She lies beside me in the hospital bed, and although my side is sore, I wouldn’t want her anywhere else. Closing my eyes, my body fucking exhausted from the push and pull of emotions earlier, I let out a heavy sigh before I ask her a serious question. One I didn’t think about until Elvis brought it up.

“Do you want babies?” I ask.

She lifts her head, her chin resting against my chest, her eyes wide as she stares at me. What she doesn’t do is answer me. Holding her close, I don’t release my grasp on her as I keep her body close to mine.

“You’re only twenty, James. This is something we should talk about since we’re doing this.”

James sits straight up, forcing my arms to fall away from her body. Her eyes continue to stare into mine, although she is silent. I wait for her to speak. I feel as if she has thought about this, and I’m curious to hear her response.

“Children haven’t ever been something I dreamed about, Nash,” she whispers. Her words sound almost haunted. “I just never thought I would have anyone I’d want to share them with.”

I don’t respond. I’m not sure she wants me to yet. So, instead, I stay silent as I wait for her to continue. James sinks her teeth into the corner of her bottom lip for a moment, tugs on the skin, then releases it.

“I see the way you are with your grandsons. I would be a liar if I said I wouldn’t want something like that in the future with you. I know you don’t want to discuss it anymore, but I understand if you don’t want it with your age.”

I let out a chuckle, then groan as pain shoots through my body from my injury. “Sweetheart, I want to give you everything. If you want children, I’m down with that. If you don’t, I’m okay with that, too. Whatever we do in this life, I want to discuss it and decide together.”

Her lips slowly shift up into a smile that not only reaches her eyes but consumes her entire face. She is stunning. If my side didn’t hurt, and I weren’t in a hospital bed like an old-ass man, I would fuck her right now.

Before she responds, the door opens, and I watch as a doctor walks through. He stops beside the bed as James slips off the mattress and stands to the side. Silently, he walks over to a computer and starts to type on the keyboard. Then he hums as he finally lifts his gaze to meet mine.

“I feel comfortable releasing you tomorrow as long as you take it easy. No rock climbing or anything crazy,” the doctor says, attempting to joke.

I chuckle, although it’s fake as fuck. I don’t want a dang thing to deter my leaving this fucking place. I am ready to get the fuck out, fuck, and sleep in my bed.

He goes over all the information about my stay, the surgery, and the sutures and then sends in a request for a follow-up to someone. Don’t know who, don’t give a fuck. I am ready to leave here and never fucking come back.

“Do you have any questions for me?” the doctor asks.

“Nope,” I state.

He smiles, then shifts his attention to James, and I watch as his demeanor changes. I watch as he takes a step toward her, facing her completely, then extends his arm, his palm reaching out for a handshake.

“I’m Doctor Slater. Do you have any questions or concerns about your father’s condition or care?”

Arching a brow, I watch as James’s gaze flicks to mine, and then, as she shakes the doctor’s hand, her lips curve up into a smirk. She’s going to say something. I know she is. Something that is going to make him uncomfortable. I can tell by the way she’s eyeing me. I’m ready to hear it, too.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I can take good care of Daddy,” she purrs.

Fuck me.

Biting the inside of my cheek, I try not to burst out laughing at her words. I watch as her hand slips from his, then she walks over to me and takes my hand. The doctor looks down at our joined palms, then flicks his gaze back up to hers.

He doesn’t say anything, but I can tell he’s starting to figure it out. Then she leans down and touches her mouth to mine. She turns her head and looks at the doctor again.

“Really good care of him.”

The doctor grunts, then turns around and marches out of the room. That’s when I hear her giggle beside me. Shaking my head, I shift my attention to James. She’s got a smile on her face as wide as the fucking Grand Canyon. She looks beautiful, stunning, and breathtaking all at the same time.