Finding Home at Randy’s (Diner Days)

Chapter 10

Jordan

Ready to come home yet?

Luka

Ask me when the snow hits

Jordan

LOL, yeah, that’s a no for me. Everything’s good? Job, settling in, all that?

Luka

Yeah, it’s fine. Job’s the job, ya know, not much difference there. Val’s been great, and I’m really appreciative of them. I made a new friend, who’s been showing me around, so it’s going well enough.

Jordan

*You* made a friend? What is this world coming to?

Luka

Asshole

Jordan

Seriously, I’m happy for you. I’m glad it seems to be what you needed.

Luka

Yeah… It really has been.

Jordan

Tell me more about this friend… grinning emoji

Luka

Ugh, it’s not like that, we really are just friends

Jordan

What’s their name? How’d you meet?

Luka

Denver. They’re a friend of Valery’s. Val, the shit, invited them and someone else over a few weeks ago and we hit it off.

Jordan

Good. I’m glad, you deserve to have a friend

Luka

I’m serious… We’re FRIENDS.

Jordan

I believe you…

Luka

Liar.

Jordan

GTG, have to meet a client. We should Skype or something soon, maybe do a watch party. I miss your face.

Luka

Gross, but sure.

I maybe miss you too.

Jordan

Talk to ya later

T ossing my phone onto my bed, I lay back with a sigh. Without my cousin to distract me, my thoughts go back to the other day when Denver and Graeme were discussing the munch. I can’t deny my interest was piqued, but with it, the overwhelming fear that the people who frequent it will take one look at me and see all the ways in which I don’t fit.

I’ve seen kink stuff online and whatnot, who hasn’t? And I’ll admit, some of it is intriguing, but I wouldn’t know where to start. Despite Denver’s reassurances that a munch is the perfect place to meet other people who may be into the same thing, it’s terrifying because what if someone asks a question I can’t answer? They’ll probably want to know where I fit, and how can I possibly answer that without experiencing it?

It’d be like fumbling my way through my first sexual experience all over again, and that was a fucking disaster . The thought makes my throat tighten and I have to close my eyes and take slow, measured breaths, trying to calm the sudden anxiousness running through me.

A knock on my bedroom door makes me jump and I place a hand on my chest, feeling my racing heartbeat.

“Yeah?” I call out in a shaky voice.

Valery pushes the door open a little. “Hey, you okay?” Their brow furrows and they look at me in concern.

“I’m fine. Just…working through something. What’s up?”

“Oh-kay,” they say slowly. “I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me? I can order food and we can just hang out? I feel like we haven’t gotten to do a lot of that recently.”

“Yeah, sure, that sounds good. I’ll be right out.”

“Take your time. I’ll get the food, pizza okay?”

“Perfect, you know what I like.”

“Just come out when you’re done having a crisis.”

“I’m fine!” I say as they close the door behind them, but honestly, I don’t even believe my words.

Taking a few more minutes to center myself, I leave my bedroom and head into the living room. Valery smiles at me when they look up from their phone.

“Food should be here in about forty minutes.”

“Great, let me know how much I owe you.”

“Pfft, my treat. I asked you, plus, as I said, I feel bad for pretty much neglecting you.”

I roll my eyes and sit against the arm of the sofa. “I don’t know how many times I have to reassure you, but I promise, it’s fine. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself. Besides, Denver’s been great, I like spending time with them.”

Val smiles. “I knew you two would get along.” I look at them dubiously and they laugh. “Seriously, maybe not on paper because you’re very different, but Den’s cool. They’ve always had that friendly, at ease aura about them. Not much can faze them, so I knew they were someone I wanted you to meet, to help put you at ease a little.”

“You’re a little shit, but you’re not wrong. I like them.”

“Good.” They give me a look and I scoff, because I can see where they’re going to go next.

“No.” I shake my head. “I like Denver as a person and a friend, but in no way, shape, or form am I looking for a relationship right now.”

“Oh, come on, I think you’ll be cute together!”

“I promise, I’m fine. The last thing I need is a partner. I barely feel like I can make a life here, and that life is currently a mess. I don’t want to put that on anyone else.”

Valery makes a noise of disagreement but they don’t argue, except to say, “That family of yours did you a disservice. But, no matter. You’re here with me and we’ll get you straightened out.” They laugh a little at their own turn of words.

“What about you?” I venture. “You’re so worried about my love life, or lack thereof, when are you going to put yourself out there and meet someone?”

They groan and curl their legs under themself. “I’ve gone on dates, thank you very much.”

“Sure, but you haven’t actually been with anyone. It’s been what…seven years since you and Jor broke up? And you are trying to tell me you haven’t found anyone in all that time?”

Valery shrugs. “What can I say? Your cousin is kind of hard to get over. But seriously, there hasn’t been anyone I’ve vibed with. I won’t lie and say I don’t still have feelings for Jordan, but we’re friends now, and I’m okay with that. At the same time, I already know what it’s like to have that type of all-encompassing and fulfilling love. I won’t settle for less. I meant what I said a few weeks ago—I would have married Jordan, given the chance. I want to feel that again. I’ve been here seven years and it hasn’t happened yet, so ya know, I'm just going to take my time, and if someone falls into my lap…well, I’ll consider not pushing them off.”

Chuckling, I shake my head.

“So what have you and Denver been up to?”

Before I can reply, there’s a knock on the door and I let out a breath of relief when Valery jumps up to answer it. I don’t mind talking about my friendship with Denver, especially since all we’ve been doing is hanging out, but the munch is still on my mind, as are my mixed feelings about it. Valery might be easy to talk to, but I’m not sure this is something I want to spill. Not when I can’t even think about kink or BDSM without getting weird, fluttery feelings inside.

Then again, who else am I going to talk to? My cousin? Denver? Neither option is really appealing, for different reasons. As much as I don’t want to admit it—because it makes me seem kind of pathetic—Jordan, Valery, and Denver are my only friends.

Valery comes into the room with the pizza box, paper plates and napkins piled on top. They drop their burden on the coffee table before heading back into the kitchen, calling over their shoulder, “What do you want to drink?”

“Water, please!”

“You’re boring!”

I laugh and take a breath, not letting my nerves get ahead of me. “Hey, what do you know about the munch held at Randy’s?”

The silence is almost deafening, but Val comes back into the room with drinks, handing me my water before setting theirs on the floor by their chair.

“Well…” they reply, moving the plates and napkins before flipping open the pizza box. “I know the organizers are good people. Cin is sassy and fun, a bit of a handful. I’m not into kink, but I’ve been around when they’ve congregated at Randy’s. It’s nothing scary, promise.” Valery puts food on their plate then looks at me. “Did Denver say something about it to you? I know they’re into all that.”

I shrug and pick at the label on my water. “They mentioned it to someone when we were at the diner the other day, trying to convince him to go. Denver offered to bring me with them, but… I don’t know. I don’t want to feel out of place, or for someone to think I don’t belong.”

“If that whole thing might be your scene, then why don’t you go and see? The way I look at it, you can get a feel for the people, maybe get some questions answered, and if it’s not for you, that’s fine. But meeting new people is never a bad thing.”

“Says you.”

“Worse comes to worse, you answer a few questions about yourself. I don’t see the problem with that.”

Sighing, I set my water aside and lean forward, grabbing a plate and a slice of pizza. “I don’t know. I’m not good at pretending to be a functioning person, you know that.”

Valery laughs and I glare at them. “Sorry, sorry.” They try to hide their smile behind a hand. “I love you just as you are, Luka. But the way you said it was… Well, can you blame me? I know peopling isn’t your strong suit, but it’s not like you’ll be alone. Denver will be there, they’ll take care of you. Even if it’s not this month, you can go the next, or the one after. Hell, it’s not my thing, but I’ll go with you too, if you want.”

I shake my head. “I couldn’t ask that of you.”

“You’re not, I’m offering. Because we’re friends, and maybe I’ll find some hot Dom who won’t mind sticking to boring ol’ spanking with me before they fuck my brains out.”

I choke on the bite of food I just took. Valery jumps up and tries to pat my back but I wave them off, grabbing a napkin and spitting into it. After coughing a few times, I’m able to get myself under control. “Jesus,” I rasp. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Sorry! Don’t tell Jordan, I am far too pretty for prison.”

I snort and cough again, my eyes watering from the near-death experience. “I’m fine.” Balancing my plate on my knee, I snatch up my water and take a few slow sips. “I don’t think you can call spanking boring, but that’s exactly why, if I do go, you’re not allowed to come with me.”

Valery laughs. “You’re so dramatic. Fine, I’ll behave and stay home, but that just means you should go.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Sure. So long as you actually do think.”

“I will, promise.”

“Good. Now, wanna watch something?”

“Seems safer than talking to you while eating. I would rather not almost die again tonight.”

Valery scoffs. “You’re fine, don’t be such a baby.”

Rolling my eyes, I grab another piece of pizza and Val snatches up the remote to turn the TV on.

“Thanks, Val,” I say quietly as they browse a streaming app. “Almost killing me aside, I’m glad you’re here to listen.”

“Anytime.”