Finding Love in Ivy Falls

Chapter Thirty-Three

TESSA

The Opposite Of Drama

For the last week, Manny and I worked together in a brittle sort of agreement. Every conversation between us was short questions and even shorter answers. He’d asked if I’d ordered the Italian espresso machine I’d had my eye on, and I’d given a quiet yes. When I’d asked if we’d receive the marble slab for the top of the bar before Christmas, all he’d given me was a simple nod.

I hated every minute of it, but it was the right choice. It wasn’t fair to build things between us when I couldn’t dig my way out of the complicated issues swirling in my own life.

‘Hey.’ I looked up to find Billy staring at me from the threshold of my office, a paper bag clutched in his hand. ‘Still like the chicken pesto sandwich from McCrearys?’

‘Yes, but that’s like fifteen minutes outside of town.’

‘Silvio gave me an extra-long lunch.’

I glanced at the spot on his arm where his seven stitches appeared to be healing well.

‘It’s not that far,’ he said, noting where my stare lingered. ‘I actually think he wanted to close the store for a bit. Heard him on the phone this morning with Mrs Vanderpool. Sounded like she was inviting him over for lunch.’

I tried not to smile. ‘They’re spending a lot of time together.’

He shrugged and sat in the chair in front of my desk. ‘No matter our age, guys always like the attention of a gorgeous woman.’ His gaze lingered on me a little too long before he handed over the sandwich that was still warm. ‘What are you working on?’ he asked between bites of his BLT.

‘I want to throw a small party to celebrate the opening of the coffee bar. I’m thinking the second week of February.’

He pointed to the pad on my desk and smiled. ‘Is that your “Tessa Do” list?’

‘Maybe,’ I said with a laugh.

Ever since I was a kid, I loved making lists. I had one for my morning routine. The girls’ schoolwork. It was a nightmare when my parents took Tor and me on vacation because the packing list was endless. In high school, I made one at the beginning of the year for all my classes. Instead of a ‘To Do’ list, Billy called them my ‘Tessa Do’ lists.

‘You know me. Trying to be organized, because I need this all to go smoothly.’

Billy gave me a long look.

I finally met his gaze and gave him an irritated, ‘What?’

‘I owe you an apology.’

‘For what exactly? There are so many things that require one.’

He blanched but gave me a slow nod. ‘True. In this case, it’s for doubting you and your ability to handle this store.’

I nearly choked on a piece of chicken. ‘Excuse me?’

‘There are a lot of shitty things I said and did to you, Tessie. The minute I questioned if you could handle the work here, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. You’ve always loved this place. Your mom knew that.’ His words weren’t more than a whisper. ‘She was right to will it to you.’

‘Well, thank you,’ I said, tapping the edges of my mouth with a napkin. ‘But I’m not going to lie. It’s been a struggle for me.’

‘You may not be outwardly strong and outspoken like Torran, but you have a quiet power that I think is more potent. That people also respect.’

‘That may be the kindest thing you’ve said to me in a long time.’

‘I know.’ He tipped his chin down. ‘That’s just one more thing I should apologize for.’

I didn’t know how to handle this contrite side of Billy, so I went back to eating and focusing on my list.

He leaned in and looked at it as I wrote notes about checking our application for the food service permit and needing custom napkins with the P&P logo. I added a line about asking Barb and Susan about plates for the signature pastries they were making. And a reminder to go to the bank to have extra cash on hand in the hope that business might be brisk that night.

Billy watched me with interest. ‘Anything I can do to help you out? Silvio has me working from nine to three, but I’m available after.’

Again, I had to take another beat, not used to this new and responsible version of him.

‘When it gets closer, I may need you to do more carpooling. Take the girls to school or soccer practice.’

‘Whatever you need, Tessie. I’m here.’

He gave me a warm gaze that held so much promise. When we were a family, I’d wished for these kinds of moments. When he’d act like a real husband and father.

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how we’d gotten here. After Rose was born, he did all the fatherly things. Changed diapers. Took the girls on walks in the double stroller when they were fussy. Once they became more self-sufficient, he began to fade away. Like he had his own plans and none of them included his family. Now we stood in this odd place where he was equal parts stranger and longtime friend. It made me wonder if he really did have the capacity for change. To become a different person after making such a terrible mistake. Maybe at some point we could be friends. Co-parent the girls successfully. Even in light of all that, there was still one thing we needed to settle.

I reached into the top drawer of my desk, skimming my hand over an extra set of keys before clasping onto a large gray envelope. The name of my attorney stamped in the corner in deep blue ink. I slid the envelope across the desk to him.

Billy took a full swallow. ‘Is that what I think it is?’

‘Yes,’ I said, pulling a pen out of the old coffee cup on my desk. ‘This is as good a time as any to sign the divorce papers.’

His skin went ashen as he slid the documents out. The room stayed quiet as he read page by page. When he was finished, he put the papers down and shook his head. ‘You want full custody of the girls?’

‘Of course. The last time we talked I told you that was the plan.’

‘I just thought with me coming back, showing you how I’ve changed, we could work something out.’

‘Billy, be serious. You abandoned them. Abandoned all of us.’

His shoulders quickly sank.

‘I see that you’re putting in a real effort, and I will continue to allow you to see the girls, but I won’t give you any kind of custody, at least not right now.’

He began to wrap up his sandwich, his eyes still focused on the floor. ‘I understand.’

A sharp knock thankfully broke up the uncomfortable moment. I moved around Billy and opened my office door.

‘Tess, we need to talk…’ Dad stomped inside and stopped at the sight of Billy, who stood up quickly.

‘I was just leaving. See you later, Tessie.’

My father stood with his back ramrod straight. If a look could turn someone to ash, Billy would be incinerated right now.

Once he was gone, my father stared at the papers on the desk. ‘Did he sign them?’

‘We were just talking about it.’

‘Tessa.’ The lines in his forehead bunched together. ‘Put that pen in his hand and make him do it before he disappears again.’

‘Dad, I’ve got what feels like a million things going on, and I’m not in a place where I can push him right now. It’ll get done soon, I promise.’

He must have heard the catch in my voice, because the tight set of his jaw went slack.

‘I get that you’re worried. That you want to protect Iris and Rose.’ I dragged in a stilted breath. ‘But he’s got a job, a place to live, and he’s trying to make amends.’

‘I still do not know what Greta Vanderpool was thinking,’ he huffed.

‘That Billy swerved his car, hit a tree, all in an attempt to not hurt the one thing she holds most dear in this world.’

‘Yes, I get that,’ he said wearily.

‘We’re finding our way, Dad. It will all work out.’

He crossed his arms over his chest. ‘I worry that he’s going to hurt you all again.’

‘I’m not going into this blindly. We just discussed how I am asking for full custody. How his time with the girls will be carefully monitored. I’ve also told him, several times, that the minute he steps a toe out of line, he’ll be out of their lives for good. But, for now, he’s doing what he’s promised, and it’s been good for the girls to spend time with him.’

‘A chameleon can change to whatever he needs his environment to be.’ He glanced back in the direction Billy left. ‘Those tattoos can be covered up. That mop of bleached blonde hair can be shaved off, but he can’t hide the crimes of his past, no matter how hard he tries to look or act like an upstanding citizen.’

‘You have every right to be worried, but your job as a grandfather is to think of the girls first.’

He closed his eyes. Dragged a hand down over his face. ‘It’s times like these that I need your mother. She’d know the right way to calm me down. Help me see reason instead of red.’

‘Dad,’ I said softly. ‘I know you love Iris and Rose. That love is bigger than what you feel for Billy. Lean into that. Please .’

He pulled me into a hug. ‘What effect does this have on Manny?’ he asked quietly.

This was one topic I did not want to discuss with him.

‘Tessa.’ He pulled back, and the loaded look in his eyes said he’d heard the gossip about Manny and me.

‘We’ve agreed to give each other space.’ I pulled my braid over my shoulder and fiddled with the elastic. ‘Between the store, the girls, and now Billy, I don’t know how much more room I have in my life for drama.’

‘Is Manny drama?’

‘He is the opposite of drama,’ I confessed.

‘I’ve tried very hard this last year to listen to what you and Torran need. To not interfere. But these past months, I’ve watched you bloom back to life. When Manny is around, you light up brighter than all that neon inside the Dairy Dip. He pays attention to your needs. Wants to make your world fuller. Is it worth risking all that because Billy is back?’

‘There is only so much I can handle right now. Manny needs someone who can be fully engaged. Give him their undivided attention. I feel like a piece of taffy being yanked in twenty different directions, and there isn’t enough time in the day to build something good and solid with him – which is what he deserves.’

Dad furrowed his brow. ‘Do you think he’ll wait until you’ve got this all figured out?’

I gave a sad shrug. ‘That’s an answer only he can give.’

He pulled me into another hug, and I tried not to think about how every second I spent away from Manny felt like a long string of stormy days without a chance of sunshine in sight.