First Street Heat (Beastverse #1)

1. Lilah

1

Lilah

T hree more weeks. I repeat the words over and over in my head. Three more weeks, and I'm done with school for the rest of my life. There's just one final test that I have scheduled in a little over three weeks. If I pass my test and don't do something stupid to make the other nurses think I'm an idiot during my interview, I'll have a job working as a certified nurse in an omega clinic.

My desire to work in an alpha clinic is at an absolute zero. I'm not an omega looking for a mate. If I was going to find one, it would've happened before now, considering I'm twenty-six and never had a scent match. Working around alphas is just asking for unwanted advances as an unclaimed omega.

Beta only clinics are rare and aren't something I can apply for since even they normally staff themselves with only betas. If I were to work with betas, I'd probably be in a general clinic that takes all dynamics, and it comes with the same issues as working in alpha clinics. So, working at an omega clinic is exactly what I want.

I've been pushing myself a bit hard this week. The last three days have been crammed full of my last three required clinical shifts and a preliminary interview at an omega clinic I've been shadowing at. The omega clinic isn't even fifteen minutes from where I live, and they're ready to hire me as soon as I finish my schooling.

The earliest I can take my final test is in three weeks, though. Thankfully, everything is already done. No more classes, no more clinicals. Now my only focuses are on studying for my last test and preparing for my heat that should be showing up in the next few—

Oh no. I've been telling myself for the last month that my heat is in a few weeks, and I never thought to shorten that guesstimate, even though it makes no sense for my heat to somehow still be a few weeks away.

My body erupts in goosebumps before warmth licks at my nerves. Oh, perfect fucking timing. Not.

I check my calendar, and yep, I'm about due for my stupid heat. I push my laptop off my legs and make my way to the bathroom. Fingers crossed that I was a smart little omega and refilled on heat suppressants, even though I clearly remember reminding myself to do it last time and never actually doing it. It doesn't help that I was so worried about my final clinical assessments that I've been ignoring the signs for days.

My body flashes with searing heat before it fizzles out. It won't be the last time it happens, and it's only going to get worse if I really did procrastinate getting more heat suppressants until it's too late.

I dig around in the cabinet, trying to stay calm, but it's getting harder and harder to keep from panicking.

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

I get on my hands and knees as I start pulling stuff out of my bathroom cabinet. I have no idea how long I've been ignoring the beginning stages, and if the frequency of the past two flashes of warmth means anything, I have less than a day before I'm writhing in pain and begging for an alpha.

Normally, I'd already have an appointment made at my usual heat clinic, where they put me into a medical coma for a week to wait the heat out. They require advance notice, though, and I doubt a day is enough time.

Tears start to prick my eyes as I realize that no matter how many times I go through the various medicine bottles, a new bottle of heat suppressant isn't magically showing up.

I run back to my laptop and check to see how fast a refill can be completed. My hands shake as I log into the patient portal of the omega doctor I see once a year—or, more accurately, I'm supposed to see once a year.

My heart sinks as soon as I read the top banner. Our records show you have not been seen in over a year. In order to refill any prescriptions, please make an appointment by calling our office.

I scream into my pillow and then wail when another wave of heat blossoms under my skin. I'm trying my hardest to ignore how wet I am because that will make me angrier at myself. I should be celebrating because I'm almost done with school that's taken me way longer to finish than it should've.

Instead, I'm reaping the consequences of telling myself the hot flashes were weird temperature spikes and the cramps were just indigestion.

When the latest hot flash ends, I grab my phone and my laptop and get to work. I email my professors to let them know I'll be indisposed for the next week. The load is lighter as we prepare for our final examinations anyway. The one silver lining of my heat is that at least it didn't happen during exams.

I just want to finish nursing school and get my certification so I can be done with not knowing what I'm going to do with my life and flailing around like a fish out of water. The money left to me from my grandmother has almost run out, but I'll survive until my first paycheck comes in.

A job at an omega clinic means I'll be safe for the rest of my life and will never need to mate unless I want to. I won't be forced into a bond out of desperation or a need for protection.

For the first few years after becoming an omega, I tried searching for my scent match. Maggy, my best friend, and I were out almost every night from ages eighteen to twenty-three, looking for the alpha meant to sweep us off our feet and take care of us forever. It was the dreams of naive young women. Dreams I've long since moved on from. Now, I want to be able to take care of myself and not have to rely on the fickle nature of an alpha who isn't scent-bonded to me.

I rein my thoughts and start checking for any appointments at my regular heat clinic. Of course, life can never be that simple. Nope, not when things are finally starting to look up. I get to be reminded why I'm not allowed to forget my position in life. Somewhere out there is an alpha I'm fated to be with. His other half, or some nonsense.

At least, those are the stories my mother used to tell me. I don't even know how I believed them all for as long as I did, considering my father never mated her and was barely in my life.

When I was younger, I thought being an omega would be like a fairytale, but instead of Cinderella being swept off her feet by Prince Charming, I'm Rapunzel in a tower of isolation I've built myself.

I'm twenty-six years old, never found a mate, and have only been knotted a few times by alphas who've scent matched other omegas while dating me. The worst of which being my latest ex, an alpha who ended up scent-matching to my best friend the first time they met.

Our double date ended five minutes after it started. I was left with the alpha Maggy brought to be her date. He offered to take me home and then proceeded to try to get in my pants since we were both dumped. That was almost a year ago, and I haven't been on a real date since then. Not that I've really given anyone the chance.

The only time I leave my alpha-free apartment complex is to get groceries, and that's maybe once a week. Big surprise, I'm not scent matching an alpha at the grocery store.

My stomach churns, which I think might be another cramp, but actually ends up just being me freaking myself out and making myself sad over my pathetic excuse of a dating life. The feeling kicks me back into action, though.

My clinic has no available spots, and I don't know which of the clinics in the city are actually good. Some of them look promising but then are sketchy when you show up. I need to feel safe in these kinds of places. With the whole being put to sleep in my most vulnerable time.

Maggy went to a heat clinic in the city not long before she was mated. She tried telling me all about it right after she went because she said it was amazing, but I was in the middle of finals and couldn't handle listening to her brag about getting laid. Not that I couldn't handle it, but I was already struggling with trying to figure out why Liam wasn't willing to mate with me. Liam, also known as Maggy's mate, thanks to me.

I call Maggy before I can talk myself out of it. Not that we aren't okay. She's still my best friend and probably always will be. I just think her mate could use better timing. And a job in the city so she can be closer to me.

"What's up?" Maggy answers the phone, already knowing I need something. I don't usually call unless it's an emergency, and this most definitely is. There are skeevy heat clinics out there.

"I may or may not have been ignoring the signs of heat and am now in an emergency," I say through clenched teeth as another wave of warmth threatens to strangle me. "What was the name of the clinic you visited before you mated Liam?"

"Are you going to try it out? I think you'll love it there," Maggy cackles as she says it. She knows it has been way too long since I've been knotted or even fucked. "It's called First Street Heat. You should look into their physical stimulation alphas since it's probably the only time you'll allow yourself to get off anymore."

"Oh god," I groan, but can't deny that the idea of getting knotted does sound really nice. It has been forever, and I wasn't built to be celibate. "I get off plenty on my own, I'll have you know."

"Get on the website." Maggy ignores my grumbling. "I want to hear your reaction to the sexy alphas you can choose from."

"I hate you so much."

But do my fingers immediately start working? Yes, they do. Maggy has to know she's already kind of sold me on the idea because she's silently waiting for me to tell her I've found it.

I type in the name of the heat clinic and search for it. Four point seven stars must mean it's pretty great. I mean, they could be fake reviews, but I'm staying positive for the time being.

The website looks professional enough and not sketchy like I've seen some of the other clinics. Some of them try too hard to be sexy or advertise that they have alphas that will assist in the heat. This one doesn't advertise physical stimulation anywhere on the front page.

"This place is clean?" I ask, and also somewhat imply that I want to know more than just the cleanliness of it.

"Professional staff, everything looked sanitized and polished, and the alpha I met with was an actual sweetheart when he wasn't blowing out my back." Maggy takes a deep breath and then continues. "You need to get back out there, and maybe having an alpha dick you down for a while will help you to maybe think about dating again?"

"Look, maybe it's been a while since I've been with anyone," I admit as I click on a button labeled 'Schedule an Appointment.'

I need to schedule one anyway, and they have open slots. I might as well use them. Just because I fill out the application doesn't mean I have to use it. The idea of someone being inside of me does sound better and better the longer I think about it, though.

I begin filling in the personal information, wanting to get to the good part where I get to look at sexy alphas trying to sell themselves on being the one to assist during a heat.

"How long?" Maggy asks. "You know you probably can't survive without getting a consistent alpha knot every once in a while. Your lady bits are going to shrivel up and die at some point if you keep going like you have been."

"Trust me," I say while absentmindedly filling out the rest of the paperwork. I set the phone down and put it on speakerphone so I can use both hands to type. "I am perfectly aware of how I'm wasting my omega charm by staying cooped up at home all the time. If finding an alpha that didn't suck wasn't so difficult, maybe I'd get out there more often."

"You think all alphas suck because you don't go out and meet with any of them."

Maggy's never been very happy with how I don't even attempt to date or meet any alphas anymore like most unmated omegas. When I was first coming into being an omega, I went to plenty of clubs and tried to meet an alpha, but most of them were asses. Sure, I met some good ones, but they weren't my scent matches.

I only dated Liam for a few months, but that was my longest relationship. Since he's been mated to Maggy, I haven't been back out to the clubs or any of the places most omegas end up meeting their mates. Nope, I threw myself into school and reminded myself how much I don't need an alpha.

When I click submit on the clinic's paperwork, I'm met with a screen that says something about providing photo identification that I may not fully comprehend before I click accept. Then my laptop's camera turns on, a countdown starts, and I look like an absolute mess of an omega when it finally clicks to take a picture.

"Maggy!" I screech when I look at the picture that's now processed and on my file.

I look like a complete and total mess, and there's not even a retake option. I would've put on some makeup or made myself look presentable if I knew my picture would be taken. The hot alphas are probably going to see it.

Yes, I may have decided that I'm leaning more toward accepting a hot alpha's knot during my heat than suffering silently in a coma.

"What's wrong?" Maggy asks with actual worry in her voice, like something's wrong instead of me being an idiot and not reading instructions.

"You didn't tell me it would take a picture."

"Oh my god, send it to me!" Maggy laughs again, this time sounding like she's choking on a drink. I hate that she already knows I'm going to look like an idiot in it. "Please, send it to me!"

I grab my phone and snap a picture of my laptop screen. "You owe me," I say as I send it to her.

She waits to respond until her phone notifies her she has a message, and then she cackles even louder, a snort or two coming out with each inhale. "Looking hot, Lilah."

"Fuck off," I laugh. It's too late to do anything about it now, so I might as well continue scheduling an appointment. "Okay, so do I want physical stimulation?"

"At least look at them before you say no. I swear, Lilah, they treat you so good. None of that weird shit where the alphas are only there to get their rocks off. Well, at least the one I saw. James or Jackson. I don't know something with a J. He was so about making sure I enjoyed myself way more than he was worried about if he got off."

"But they do?" I ask. I mean, they have to since they're offering physical stimulation. I assume that means they'll be knotting me, but if they do that, they'll come inside me.

"Of course, they get off, but they're respectful about it," Maggy answers. "Seriously, the alphas there seemed very professional. It isn't just some fuck fest. I received an email beforehand with their STD test results showing they were clear, and they ensure either you or the alpha you choose is on some type of birth control."

I chew on my lips before clicking the 'yes' on wanting physical stimulation. I'm met with a screen that tells me I need to submit testing records by the day of my appointment, which means I now need to get tested somewhere because I haven't seen my doctor in over a year, according to their system. Not that I have anything since I haven't even looked at an alpha in a long time.

"I wish you still lived around here," I say as I click on a new tab and schedule an appointment for an urgent testing center in thirty minutes. One of the perks of the most powerful dynamics in the world being overtly horny all of the time is that testing labs have become almost instantaneous in their processing of certain samples. "I need moral support to get out of bed and get tested."

"Wait!" Maggy moves around so loudly that I can hear her on the other side of the phone. "Are you doing it?"

"I mean, why not?" The answer is pathetic. I know this, but I also know it's kind of embarrassing for me to admit. Especially to the only person who knows I've never been physically stimulated during a heat. Not once. I was planning on asking Liam, but again, he's not my alpha.

"Hell yeah, why not!"

After I click accept on getting my testing into the clinic by my appointment, I'm met with a question on whether I want a male or female alpha to administer my physical stimulation. I almost laugh at how clinical they word everything, but I assume it's to keep things as professional as they can be for what it is. I hover over the male option and bite my lips as I click accept.

Oh, fuck me. They're all drop-dead gorgeous.

"Maggy!" I squeal her name as the four male alphas appear on the screen.

"Hot, right?" Maggy asks. "Tell me about each one as you go."

"Didn't you already look at all of them?" I giggle as I hover my mouse over the lips of the first alpha.

They're all clothed, which is unfortunate and another indicator that they take it seriously. I've seen so many that use their alphas as sex objects for their clinics that it's nice to see them as actual humans.

"I did, but maybe they've changed, and now I can live vicariously through you," Maggy says, too excited.

I go through each alpha listed and describe their pictures to Maggy. All of them are in a dress shirt with sleeves rolled up and slacks. It's classier than the sleazy clinics that try to get their alphas as naked as possible to entice omegas, but whoever picked their outfits knew what those who liked male alphas liked.

Maggy tells me which one she used when she went to the clinic. She doesn't make any comments on the other three other than to say that maybe they're the same ones.

"What about the fifth one?" Maggy asks when I finish describing all of the alphas on the screen. "One of them had a beast. At least one of them did when I was looking."

I scroll down the page to one final entry. No picture is given, but the name of the alpha and a brief description are there. I furrow my brow and then read it out loud to Maggy. "Scott Carter. Please note: Fenrir, my beast, will assist in your physical stimulation. It is highly encouraged that you choose another alpha if you've never been with a beast before. This is not the place to find out if you enjoy the dominance of a beast. He's of a singular focus, and if denied, you'll be placed in a medically induced coma instead. The full cost of your stay will remain the same."

This one. The thought is so startling, and unlike me, I get quiet for a minute as I try to figure out what about this no-picture, red flag of a bio has my subconscious saying, Hey! Let's get that one to take care of all my needs during my heat.

Beasts are the leftovers from the most recent evolution of the human species. Somewhere along the lines of separating into three distinct groups, alphas also had a split in their brain chemistry. Primal urges are all that fuel beasts. At least, that's what's said about them.

Beasts share a body with the alpha whose mind they live in, and they're capable of taking over the body when the body's response dips into the areas the beast is better at handling. I don't know if they can come out without there being sex or a fight on the table, but I've only ever seen them in MMA fights and porn videos.

Not all alphas have beasts. It's been a pretty big push from health officials in the last few decades for those who have beasts to think about permanent sterilization so that they don't continue to pass on the gene. About one percent of the alpha population has beasts, so it makes sense that I've never actually been around one. They're supposedly capable of commanding entire crowds of people and making them submit, but that was more of an urban legend. Or, at least, I'm pretty sure it is.

"Lilah, you're being awfully quiet." Maggy distracts me from the very startling thought I had long enough to get me back on track.

"Have you ever been with a beast?" I ask as nonchalantly as I can. It doesn't work, of course. I can hear Maggy scoff before she even says anything.

"If I slept with a beast, I would've told you immediately."

I chew on my lip as I hover over the selection box where Scott's name is.

When Maggy speaks again, it's in a whisper, like we're talking about something we're not supposed to. "Are you thinking about asking for him?"

"I mean…" I let the rest of my sentence die out because it's reckless and stupid to ask for a beast. I'm more likely to be put unwillingly into a coma than be a good enough omega for a beast.

Scott's description of his beast sounds about on par with what I've heard about them and seen. What? The internet has all kinds of things you can find. One of which that I enjoy is beast pornography.

There's something hot about a man so needy for you that he falls to his base desires. Not to mention, beasts demand total submission in the bedroom, and that calls to my desperate omega soul that wants to be good for an alpha. It's not my finest quality, but then again, most people wouldn't call their bedroom fantasies their best qualities.

"Do it!" Maggy screeches from the other side of the phone. "Oh, please, then tell me everything!"

I use the high of Maggy's enthusiasm to click on the alpha and then submit my request for an appointment before I can think about how unlikely it is that I'll be getting a beast's knot in less than twenty-four hours. If I'm not getting any for a year again, I might as well go a little crazy when I can get some.

"It's done."

"Oh my god!"

An email notification alerts me that my appointment is pending, and I should have an answer by five p.m. A second email pings a second later with instructions on viewing material I need to watch before my appointment.

"Hey, do you know anything about viewing material?" I ask Maggy as I click on the email.

"No, I wasn't sent anything."

I skim the email until I get to the part that makes my heart sink. "For patients wanting to be physically stimulated by a beast, it's important for you to be aware of the nature of their mating habits. Please become acquainted with the following material so that nothing impedes your session. If the following materials are not viewed, or you do not follow the instructions during your stay, you will be placed in a medically induced coma for the remainder of your heat. Your safety and the safety of our alphas is our highest priority."

"Well, I guess you have some homework," Maggy laughs again, but I only feel a coil tightening in my gut. What did I get myself into? "Hey, I gotta get ready for lunch. Text me about the homework. I'm curious what it's going to be."

"Yeah, you got it." I try sounding excited, but it's all becoming way too real now.

When I hang up the phone, I check the time. It's only noon, which means I have five hours before I even know if they'll accept me or not, and only about ten minutes to get to the testing place a couple of blocks away. I want to watch the video now, but I need to get going, or there won't be any reason to watch the video.

I'll head to my appointment and then try to put off watching the video until I know if I'm even accepted for an appointment. Yeah, that's a good plan.