Fix You (The Irish Rogues #3)

Chapter Twenty-Thirty Raphael

W ith my head buried in my hands, I sat outfitted in a form fitting designer tux in one of the preparation rooms of the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul in Philadelphia. It was the church that generations of Carusos had held their wedding ceremonies in. Dirty money had changed hands to ensure that today’s date was available for the ceremony many were calling the Wedding of the Year.

While today might’ve been my wedding day, it felt more like my funeral.

Considering how dead inside I felt, it might as well have been my funeral. It had been three weeks since I’d heard anything from Maeve. Although I’d promised not to hunt her to bring her back, I couldn’t stand not knowing where she was. Her phone number was no longer working. She’d disappeared from both the states and Ireland. Only Kellan knew where she’d gone, and he wouldn’t even tell his brothers, least of all me, where she had gone.

At the feel of a hand at my back, I pulled my hands away from my face. Peering up at Leandro, he gave me a reassuring smile. “Just say the word, and we’ll get the hell out of here.”

Gianni snorted. “And face the wrath of the Carusos again ?” He smacked a hand on my back. “Sorry bro, but it’s too fucking late to run now.”

“It’s never too late say fuck it all and go after Maeve,” Leo protested.

“Since when are you a romantic?” Gianni challenged.

With a shrug, Leo replied, “I’m not. I just hate seeing him like this.”

I shook my head. “No, G’s right. It’s too late.”

Grimacing, Leonardo replied, “It’s a damn shame that you and Drea have to be so fucking miserable.”

At the mention of my bride to be, I cocked my brows in surprise at him. “You saw her this morning?”

An odd look flickered in Leo’s eyes before he replied, “No. I meant last night at the rehearsal dinner.”

Leandro was right. Drea had appeared pale and withdrawn. She’d barely eaten anything before excusing herself. Guilt ate at me that I was the one who was bringing her such misery. We were both thoroughly fucked and not in the good way.

One of the many people working with the wedding coordinator poked their head inside the room. “It’s time for the groom and groomsmen to take their places at the altar,” the man said.

At the roll of my stomach, Gianni replied, “We’re coming.”

Reluctantly, I rose out of my chair. With each step I took, the ache in my chest twisted tighter and tighter. For a moment, I allowed myself to imagine this was Maeve’s and my wedding day. That I was heading to the altar where I would be joined with her.

But fate was a cruel motherfucker.

Leo and Gianni fell in step beside me. I drew on the strength radiating from them. Despite my despair, I was doing the right thing. In the end, I was saving the lives of the people I loved by joining with the Carusos.

Once we took our place at the top of the altar, the Bridal March started up, sending the crowd to their feet. With the sound of the organ booming through me, my throat tightened, and I fought to breathe.

The double doors opened to reveal Drea. She appeared in an elegant dress with her veil held in place by a glittering tiara. She looked every bit the mafia princess she was.

Edoardo walked her up the aisle with a satisfied smirk. His evident gloating irritated me to no end. More than anything, I hated how his cowardly actions had forced me into a corner.

When Edoardo and Drea reached the altar, I held out my hand. Drea remained frozen, staring past me over my shoulder as if she was searching for an exit to make a run for.

“Andrea!” Edoardo hissed.

His words shook her out of the stupor, and her gaze snapped to me. Tears shone in her eyes as she slipped her trembling hand into mine. Of all the scenarios I’d painted in my mind of my wedding day, a reluctant, scared out of her mind bride wasn’t one of them.

“You may be seated,” the priest instructed.

After the crowd sat down, the priest smiled at Drea and me. A low whine began in my ear, drowning out his words. I watched as his mouth moved, but I didn’t hear anything. I just felt cold and adrift. Like I was on a sinking ship looking out at the vast ocean just waiting to drown me in its choppy waves.

No, I couldn’t fucking do this.

I had to save myself. I’d managed somehow to help Maeve fix herself, but all along, she wasn’t the only one who needed saving. I had to fix myself, and the only way I could do that was with Maeve by my side.

The safety of those I loved was always an issue as long as we stayed in the underworld. The same could be said for our businesses–they would always be a target. As much as I wanted to save my family and my livelihood, I couldn’t do that if I was bound in a miserable marriage and depressed out of my fucking mind.

When Drea squeezed my hand, I shook my head. “I’m sorry. What?”

The priest gave me a funny look. “I said repeat after me. I, Raphael Alessio Neretti, take you, Andrea Cecilia Caruso, to be my wife. I promise to–”

“No.”

As gasps and murmurs rang through the crowd, the priest’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

I squeezed Andrea’s hands. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t marry you.”

Relief flashed on her face. “It’s okay.”

A growl erupted behind us. “It’s certainly not okay!” Edoardo shouted.

As Andrea and I whirled around to face him, Edoardo sprang from his seat. With a menacing expression, he demanded, “Did I not make myself clear before what would happen if you backed out of this wedding, or would you like to have every single Neretti business go up in smoke?”

“Yes, you did. But I can’t do this. It’s not fair to Andrea or myself.”

“You vigliacco bastardo !”

I held my hands up. “I’ll find a way to make this insult up to you.”

“You’ve made a fool out of me in front of my family and friends. There is no way to make up this insult except through a marital alliance.”

Shaking my head, I replied, “I won’t do it.”

“I didn’t want it to have to be this way, but you’ve forced my hand.”

At that moment, Edoardo reached into his suit pocket. After jerking out a gun, he pointed it at me. Shrieks and screams erupted around us. Guests started emptying the pews and sprinting to the exits.

Leo rushed past me to jerk Andrea behind him. “You’re no man of honor if you came carrying to a wedding,” I spat.

It was an unwritten rule that weapons of any kind were forbidden at weddings and funerals. Not even bodyguards were to carry anything. It was a means to show mutual trust between families.

With a glare, Edoardo countered, “Deep down I knew you were going to try to weasel your way out of this.”

“Are you going to force me at gunpoint to marry your daughter?”

Edoardo gave me a maniacal grin. “You catch on fast.”

“Father, no,” Drea pleaded.

“I won’t marry her. Not when I love someone else.” My gaze sought out Callum’s who was shielding Caterina. “There’s no one else in the world for me but Maeve.”

“Dammit, Rafe, not this bullshit again,” Callum growled.

“I mean it with all my heart and soul. She is the sun in my dark world. I can’t imagine a life where she isn’t by my side.”

Tears welled in Caterina’s eyes while Callum remained stony-faced. “Will you give me consent to ask for her hand?” I asked.

Callum threw up his hands. “She left you. She disappeared from all of us because of you. ”

With a shake of my head, I replied, “She left because we couldn’t be together. You’d made that abundantly clear to her.” I then glowered at Edoardo. “And because you bombed the club and killed her dog.”

He shrugged apathetically. “I had to get your attention.”

With a disgusted growl, I turned my attention back to Callum. “I’ll find her. I’ll search the ends of the world until I find her.”

“This is insanity,” Callum grunted, but his expression had begun to soften.

“It’s true love,” Caterina replied beside him.

“ENOUGH!” Edoardo blared. He then cocked the gun at my head. “You will marry Andrea as promised. We will join our families together as promised. I will not be made a weak fool.”

He then jerked his hand to train the gun on the priest. “Get on with it.”

“For the last time, I’m not marrying her,” I pronounced.

When I turned to leave the altar, a pop went off and then piercing pain ripped through my shoulder. Drea screamed behind Leo while shouts and cries went up among the remaining crowd.

In a stupor, I brought my hand to my shoulder. As I felt the throbbing agony, a metallic smell entered my nose as a sticky wetness coated my fingers. “You fucking shot me?”

A triumphant gleam shone in Edoardo’s eyes. “It barely grazed you.”

Thrusting my blood-stained hand in front of him, I demanded, “Does this look like a graze?”

Edoardo had the nerve to shrug. “I had to do what was necessary for you to take me seriously.”

“Quinn, go check him out,” Callum instructed.

Edoardo warily eyed Quinn as he came out of his pew and up to the altar. “Let’s take off your suit jacket,” Quinn instructed.

Sucking in a harsh breath, I let him help me slide the jacket from my arms. As much as I hated to agree with Edoardo, it truly only felt like a graze. I’d been shot before in the arm and leg, and my current pain level was nothing to that extent.

Quinn surveyed the bloody spot between my bicep and my shoulder. “There’s no exit wound, so it must’ve just grazed you.” He leaned in closer. “Doesn’t look like you’ll need any stitches.”

“Like I said. I wanted to get it through your thick skull that I was serious about not letting you out of here alive if you refuse this marriage,” Edoardo said.

“Then I guess you’re going to kill me because I’m not marrying her!” I shouted while wincing from the pain in my shoulder.

“Rafe no!” Caterina cried.

“So be it,” Edoardo growled as he brought the gun up from his side.

“Stop, wait!” Leo shouted. With his hands up in surrender, he stepped towards Edoardo. “Is it Rafe you want, or will anyone with a Neretti name be good enough?”

I blinked at him in shock. “What the fuck are you saying?”

Ignoring me, Leo continued talking to Eduardo. “There’s a way out of this where the two of you can both get what you want.”

Edoardo narrowed his eyes at Leandro. “You’re suggesting someone take Rafe’s place.”

“I am.”

A mirthless laugh escaped Edoardo’s lips. “Marrying my daughter to anyone but the capo is an insult.”

“What if it’s the capo’s second in command?” Leandro countered.

I sucked in a harsh breath. “Leo, what the fuck are you doing?”

He flicked his gaze from Edoardo to mine. “I’m trying to find a way for you to be happy.”

“While that’s commendable, what about your happiness?”

“Better the devil you know than the one you don’t, right? I mean, I was always going to have an arranged marriage. At least I know Drea. It’s to go without saying I’d be getting a stunner of a bride who can knock a man on his ass.” When he threw a glance over his shoulder at Drea, she gave him a shy smile.

Edoardo slowly lowered his gun. “ You’re offering to marry Andrea?”

“I am.”

“And you would allow this?” Edoardo asked me.

Would I? The question truly didn’t have an easy answer. I could only imagine what the other families would think of my leadership if I allowed Leo to take my place. I’m sure most would view me as weak to refuse a proper alliance to be controlled by my feelings for a woman.

At the same time, I was ready to weather the storm. Regardless of what it was going to do to my reputation, I couldn’t bear a lifetime without Maeve.

Staring intently at Leo, I said, “As long as he’s okay with it.”

Without a moment of indecision, Leo replied, “I am.”

Turning back to Drea, I asked, “What about you?”

Biting down on her bottom lip, she tore her gaze from me to look at Leo. “Will you have me?” Leo asked her.

For the first time, I realized how differently she looked at Leo than she did me. And in turn, how he looked at her differently than I did. At another time and place I would have to ask him what it all meant.

“Yes, I will,” she replied.

Leo smiled at her before turning back to Edoardo. “So are we good?”

With a scowl, he replied, “I don’t know.”

“You’re getting a Neretti.”

“Andrea has always been intended for a capo. You are the second son.”

Leo glared at Edoardo. “I’m still the fucking second in command. Not to mention I have a fucking law degree from Columbia!” he countered with a snarl.

It was more than apparent there would be no love lost between Leandro and his father-in-law. With a more diplomatic approach, I said, “Edoardo, despite the fact you just shot me and threatened to kill me, you’ll still have the full support of the Neretti empire with Drea’s marriage to Leandro. With my brother-in-laws, the Kavanaughs, and with us, you’ll be adding territory from Boston through New York. Truthfully, you’re getting the same thing with Leandro as you would with me.”

It was then I remembered the fractured nature of my relationship with Callum. Turning my attention to him, I said, “I do have your support, right?”

As Callum clenched his jaw, Caterina stared expectantly at her husband. I took a tentative step towards him on the front pew. “If you don’t do this for me, think of Maeve. She’s suffered enough in this life, hasn’t she? She deserves all the happiness in the world,” I pleaded.

“And I suppose you’re the key to her happiness?” he spat.

“I am,” I replied as Caterina said, “He is.”

Dare leaned over Caterina to smack Callum’s shoulder. “Come on, Callum. Stop being such a stubborn arse. You know he’s what Maeve needs and wants. We haven’t seen her so happy in years.”

“All right,” he finally relented.

“Thank you. I truly mean that.” I nodded at Caruso. “Do we have a deal?”

He pursed his lips. “Fine. But I also want five million dollars”

While I should’ve fought at his outrageous demand, a relieved breath whooshed from my chest, and I fought to keep my knees from buckling. While five million dollars was an enormous sum, it was worth it to divert a war. It would also be worth every penny if it meant I got to be with Maeve.

“Done.”

After shooting me one last look of disgust, Edoardo slid his gun back in his jacket pocket. Nodding his head at the priest, he instructed, “All right. Marry them.”

As I exchanged places with Leandro, I clapped his back. “I’ll never forget this, brother.”

With a wink, he replied, “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let you even if you tried.”

The priest then restarted the service. Some of the people who’d run out with the gunfire came back in. After saying their vows and exchanging rings, Leo became a married man, and Drea Caruso became Drea Neretti just with a different husband.

As soon as the couple walked down the aisle and into the sunshine, I made my way through the crowd to find Kellan. He didn’t appear too surprised to see me hunting him.

When I cocked my brows at him, he replied, “She’s at the Sacred Heart.”

I sucked in a harsh breath. “Where Caterina was?”

He nodded. “I wanted somewhere no one would think to look for her.”

“She’s not…taking vows or something, is she?”

With a roll of his eyes, Kellan replied, “No, it’s nothing like that. She’s volunteering with the mission, doing some online classes, and trying to find herself–those were her words, not mine.”

I clapped his back. “Thank you for telling me. I could’ve gotten Gianni on it, but it would’ve taken time.”

“You’re welcome.” The corners of his lips quirked up. “Now go get on a plane and bring our girl back home.”

“With pleasure.”