Forever Mine

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

JAY

PRESENT DAY

“Fuck, baby. Can’t get enough of this ass.”

I bent over Dakota, folding his legs in half. My hand circled his throat, squeezing lightly. Dakota held my wrist, light brown eyes holding me captive. He wasn’t trying to get me to stop though. He was keeping my hand right where it was on his throat.

I slammed back into him, my fingers flexing with the action. Dakota moaned.

“Touch yourself, Kota. I wanna feel you come on my cock.”

Fire burned in Dakota’s eyes. He reached for his dick, and his hand that was currently digging into my side, slid down until he cupped my ass. We watched each other with so much intensity. Every time we had sex, it felt almost spiritual as we came together. There was no such thing as a quick fuck when it came to Kota and me. He took my fuckin’ breath away every time.

Kota used his own pre-cum as lube to jerk himself off. He found the rhythm of my thrusts, the only sounds in the room was the squelching of his hand rapidly moving up and down, the skin-on-skin slaps of my thrusts, and my grunts. I wish I had a whole bunch of sexy talk I could say to Kota, because he should always hear how good he was, but nothing was leaving my lips. I hoped he could tell what I was thinking by the way I was watching him.

Dakota’s fingers slid in between my cheeks, teasing my hole. I sucked in a breath. “Fuck, baby.”

The tip of his finger pushed in, and I bit down on his neck, trying not to lose it. I wasn’t ready for this to be over. Not yet. I was still loose and wet from when Kota had eaten my ass just before I turned the tables and slid my cock inside him. It meant his finger slid in with very little resistance.

I never expected to like bottoming or even having anyone near my ass. Not after my teenage years when I didn’t have a fuckin’ choice. Dakota though—he was just different. He could do whatever he wanted, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

“Jay, I’m coming.”

I groaned, increasing the pace of my thrusts. “Me too. Come for me, Kota.”

Dakota moaned as my pace faltered and I filled him with my release. His load shot between us, coating my stomach.

“Fuck. Damn, baby. Kota.” I was babbling but couldn’t stop, not while Dakota’s hole continued to milk the life outta me. I was seeing fuckin’ stars.

“Jay…fuck.” Dakota seemed as breathless as I felt. Finally, we were both spent. His finger slipped out of my hole, and I collapsed half on him.

Dakota knew exactly what I needed, and before I was even fully on the mattress, his legs and arms were wrapped around me, holding on to me like he was a fuckin’ monkey. I closed my eyes and buried my face into his neck, breathing in his musky, post-sex scent.

It was pathetic, but this was the only way I seemed to avoid the panic that always inevitably came after I had sex. I was used to dealing with it on my own—I usually snuck outta the room before whoever I was with even noticed and just rode out the attack. That shit didn’t work with Kota though, and after the first time, where he sat on the bathroom floor with me and rubbed my back while I puked my guts out, we found a way that worked for us.

“That’s it, babe. You’re good. It’s me. It’s Dakota.”

I let his voice wash over me. I was good. I was safe. Dakota was safe. We both wanted this. Hell, we both loved it.

It made no sense. I didn’t understand why this always fuckin’ happened. It’s not like I was afraid of the sex. I loved fucking, or even being fucked, as long as it was Kota doing it. I craved it. It was why I used to pick up people at Beck’s bar every weekend, or why I’d happily trade a fuck for some painkillers or Xanax. It was an addiction. I needed it. But when it was done, this hollow emptiness overtook me and I fuckin’ lost it. Unless Dakota did this.

We were both a mess. Dakota’s cum was on both of us and would probably get uncomfortable real quick, but I didn’t do anything about it. I ran a hand over the curve of his ass, loving how my release was leaking outta it. I smeared it over his skin, causing him to chuckle.

“Mine,” I muttered under my breath, a reminder to myself more than him.

Dakota kissed the side of my jaw. “Yours, Jay. And you’re mine.”

I closed my eyes, unable to deal with the intensity of his gaze. My breath felt lodged in my throat at the impossibility of his words. It didn’t matter how many times he said it, it never became more believable.

Dakota sighed sadly and kissed me again. I just held on for dear life letting the weight of him on top of me keep me locked in the present.

I burrowed myself closer to Dakota as the haze of sleep started to leave me. Earlier, after I’d managed to let Dakota outta my arms long enough, we both got cleaned up. We had time before we had to go anywhere, so we jumped right back into his bed and his soft, clean sheets. I loved the scent of his sheets, even after we fucked. Probably ’cause they smelled like him.

It was time to get up now, but I didn’t want to separate from him, even if it was for only a few hours.

Dakota’s eyes fluttered open, and he smiled as he saw me, causing little butterflies to erupt in my stomach. His light brown eyes, that always got darker when he was stressed or horny, stared right through me like he could see everything. Fuck, he probably could.

“Are you excited about the move?” he asked randomly. It seemed like it came outta nowhere, but I figured he’d been trying to find a way to bring it up and ended up just blurting it out when he couldn’t think of a good time.

I grunted and shrugged my shoulder. “I guess? Like, it’ll be nice to have my own place…well, my own place with Beck and Riley anyway, but it’s also kinda strange. I’m gonna have my own room. I’ve never had my own room. Fuck, this will be the first time I’ve had a bed since I was four. It feels weird.”

Dakota kissed my lips lightly, his expression soft. “I can only imagine what that’s like, but you deserve it, baby. You’re allowed to have good things.”

Yeah, that was something I was still struggling with. I didn’t get to have nice things. I was a fuckin’ deadbeat street kid. I didn’t deserve shit like this.

It was crazy how much things had changed in the last year. Since I was little, it had just been me, my best friend Beckett, and his kid-brother, well step-brother, Riley just trying to survive. Sure, I had my ma, but most of the time, she was too lost in the bottle to remember she even had a fuckin’ kid. As we got older, not much changed. We still had shitty parents we were responsible for keeping alive and we did whatever we could to get by.

Then things started to change. Beck and Riley fell in love, my mom died, and I met Dakota. Suddenly, I wasn’t just the third wheel to Beck and Riley. I had someone. Someone who cared about me. Someone who would put me first. Someone I could trust and lean on. Someone I loved, even if I hadn’t been able to say the words yet. It was fuckin’ wild, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

Then things got even stranger when Riley realized he had a dad out there that actually gave a shit about him, and next thing we knew, we were moving into a two-bedroom apartment, with more security than a busted-up lock, and no bloodstains on the carpet. What was even life?

I held Dakota tighter, like he would somehow slip away if I wasn’t squeezing the life outta him. Every time he was out of my sight—shit, every time I closed my eyes—I was sure it would be the last time I’d see him. Someone as good and pure as Dakota deserved so much more than I could ever give him, and I was just biding my time till he realized it.

Dakota’s alarm went off. It was his reminder that he needed to get up and get ready for his weekly family dinner. Seriously. I was dating a man that went to his parents’ house every week for a family dinner. Everyone went—his siblings, their kids, even some aunts and uncles sometimes. I’d never even heard of such a thing outside of movies before. I didn’t think families like that existed, but Dakota was proof that they did.

Reluctantly, I let Dakota go so he could get dressed. Immediately my heart started hammering in my chest. He hadn’t even left yet, and I was already melting down. There was something wrong with me.

As usual, Dakota could see right through me and climbed back into his bed. “I won’t be gone long. You can stay here, you know? You don’t have to leave the apartment every time I do. I trust you.”

I shivered. Did he know what those words did to me? How much they meant to me? I smiled and shrugged. “It’s all good. I agreed to pick up an extra shift anyway. Gotta save all the money I can before the move.”

“Yeah, okay. But you don’t need to keep making excuses to leave. I like you being here.”

I turned away and climbed off the bed, needing space. Fuck, I was a mess. Dakota didn’t get it. There was no way he could. But I couldn’t stay at his apartment when he was gone. It would be too real that way. Way too hard to get over him when he left me.

But I was Jay Parks. I didn’t get hung up on my feelings. I let shit go with a smile and a joke.

“Baby, talk to me.”

Dakota stood in front of me, cupping both my cheeks and lowering my head so we were eye level. I might’ve had nearly seven inches of height on him, but it never felt like that when we were together. He was like Riley that way. Height meant nothing.

I forced another grin. “Nothin’ to talk about. I’m fine. Go on and get dressed. Your ma always sends the best leftovers. I don’t want her to get mad at me for makin’ you late and decide not to send them. What did you say she was cookin’ today?”

Dakota wasn’t buying it for one minute. “You know, if you came you wouldn’t have to eat reheated leftovers. My parents would love to meet you.”

I wrenched away from his hold before I puked all over him. It wasn’t the first time he mentioned me coming with him to one of these dinners, but that was even worse than staying at his apartment on my own. He swore his family wouldn’t judge me, that they would love me, but it was impossible. They’d take one look at me and know I wasn’t good for their son and then Dakota would realize it too.

“Maybe. One day.” I tried to act like I didn’t notice how Dakota’s face fell. Fuck, I was an asshole. “I’m sorry, Kota. I’m tryin’.”

“I know you are. Jay, it’s okay, it’s no rush. But I swear I’d never put you in a position where you’d be uncomfortable. My family would love you.”

I snorted and walked to the other side of the room to find my clothes. I needed to get the fuck outta here. I was all over the place.

“Yeah, I’m sure every parent wants their kid with the tatted-up, drug-dealing, practically homeless street kid. I’m a fuckin’ catch.” I tried to say it in a joking tone, but no one was buying it.

“Jay, you’re so much more than that. Besides, I told you my parents won’t care about any of that. They’ll only care about how you treat me and what you’re doing now. I know I told you my dad grew up on the streets, right? He used to run with the Irish mob back in the day. They get it.”

“Look, can we not talk about this right now? I gotta get to work, and you gotta get to their house. I promise I’ll try. I’m just—fuck, just not yet, okay?”

Dakota sighed, resigned. It sucked how I made his face fall and his shoulders slump like that. I hated hurting him, but that was all I ever fucking did.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Just know my mom only has so much patience. She is honoring our wishes now to give you some space, but that will only last a little longer before she shows up at my place because she ‘happened to be in the neighborhood.’”

I glared at Dakota, but he looked completely fuckin’ serious. “For real? She’d do that?”

“Oh, without a doubt.” Dakota shrugged unbothered. “I’ll hold her off as long as possible, but baby? It’s time you start to come to terms with the fact that this is the real deal, and I’m not going anywhere.” He grabbed his underwear and gave me a quick kiss. He went to step back but my fingers curled into his reddish brown hair, keeping him inplace. I was hot and cold, but I couldn’t let him go yet.

I deepened the kiss, melting into him. He always tasted so good. Even after a twelve-hour shift at the hospital, he tasted minty and sweet, and I couldn’t get enough. I back-walked Dakota, never breaking the kiss until his back was pushed against the wall.

“Fuck, darlin’. I just can’t get enough of you. I don’t know how I’ll be able to let you go.”

Dakota’s expression was fierce as his eyes met mine. “You never have to, Jay. I’m not going anywhere.”

Swallowing down the emotion, I looked away. He said that now, but this wouldn’t last. It was way too good to be true. I wouldn’t let myself think about it, not now. I kissed him one last time, savoring every bit of him until Dakota Kelly was imprinted on every part of my body.

Before I could second-guess myself, I grabbed my shirt off the floor and left his room. I didn’t waste any time putting on my shoes and just picked them up before leaving. I heard Dakota call my name, but I ignored him as I ran out of there before I lost it.