Grumpy Doctor’s Holiday Twins (Forbidden Doctors #17)

2. Ethan

2

ETHAN

M y mouth felt like the Sahara in summer with no cloud cover. My tongue clung to the roof of my mouth as I fumbled my way around my desk and across the long, narrow room to where Mindy stood next to my former flame whom I hadn't seen in a few years. Melody was just as beautiful and breathtaking as I remembered her. The form-fitting skirt suit she wore looked good under the light suit jacket, hugging her thick curves the way my hand used to hug them.

I probably looked foolish, fumbling for words as I thrust my hand out in her direction for an awkward handshake. She didn't speak either, but our eyes never stopped talking, screaming out questions like, " Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? " and " Why didn't you return any of my calls or texts? "

Her hand was warm in mine, reminding me of how cold my heart had become toward this time of year. Cold hands, cold heart. That was what my Grandma Owens used to tell me. I was icy cold now, with a distaste for everything this time of the year had to offer. And this town, for that matter.

"Dr. Sinclair," she said softly as Mindy kept yammering on about the department. She seemed to not even notice the awkward exchange happening right in front of her.

Melody pulled her hand away, and I licked my lips and stared at her. She hadn't changed a bit, maybe aged a little. Her eyes held a sadness about them, something only deep grief could add to an expression. The melancholy way she smiled captivated me too, bittersweet and yet compassionate.

"Mel," I breathed, so quietly I knew she couldn’t have heard, but she read my lips and her cheeks tinged pink.

"So, basically, you have to decorate the entire department by the end of Thanksgiving week. Trees, wreaths, snowmen, you name it. And then you’re in charge of having the float done by the tenth, I think?" Mindy's face screwed up in confusion and she shrugged. "I'll make sure both of you get the details."

I could still remember the feeling of her skin on mine, the way she'd kiss me and laugh softly. The warmth of her next to me in bed and how we'd talk for hours, well into the wee hours of the morning when we should have been resting. All gone the minute she rushed out of town.

John told me where she went, how their mother was sick and needed treatment. Melody was too crushed by the weight of the diagnosis to even communicate that, or that was what I was left to assume since she never spoke to me again. Regardless, she clearly didn’t take our relationship seriously enough to feel I deserved an explanation, and it destroyed me because I was ready to tell the world about us and maybe even propose.

"So, yeah… Oh, and you will be in charge of the toy drive too. Oh, Dr. Sinclair, I can get you fitted for a Santa costume and maybe you can play the big guy?—"

"What?" I asked, snapping back to reality. I tore my eyes away from Melody and looked Mindy in the eye. There was no way I was going to dress up like a dozen other buffoons in a red suit with a white beard and let kids sit on my lap and be peed on. I was a pediatrician, not an actor.

"You get to play Santa. Dr. Winters didn’t tell you?" She looked confused and continued. "The head of pediatrics always plays Santa for the kids."

This was where I drew the line. Seeing Melody in the flesh was stimulating in so many ways. My dick was swelling because of how incredibly gorgeous she was and how much I had missed feeling her body against mine, but my heart was ruined. The wreckage of a love lost to time and betrayal during what was supposed to be the most magical time of year had turned me off from all the ridiculous trappings of tradition.

"No." I chuckled to avoid showing how angry I was. "I'll hire someone. I'm only interim director." I walked back toward my desk to sit down as Mindy audibly protested, but I knew even the temporary authority I had trumped hers. I held up a hand to silence her and asked, "Is that all?"

Mindy's shoulders drooped, but it was Melody's sad expression that caught my eye. "No, I guess not," Mindy conceded, then promptly turned and took Mel by the arm and led her out.

When the door clicked shut, I let my body finally feel the effects of all the hormones surging through me. I was giddy with desire for Melody and deeply hurt and upset that she was here. She was as shocked to see me as I was to see her, though, so my gut told me John didn't even tell her where I was.

I was supposed to be in Namibia right now, repairing cleft palates and treating tuberculosis, not babysitting a department at New Hope Hospital in my hometown of Mistletoe Springs. I wasn't supposed to see her, and I wasn't supposed to be bombarded by "Christmas spirit".

I closed my eyes and laid my head back on the chair's headrest. Melody had taken my heart by surprise four years ago, but I was shy, too scared of John to really commit. John and I were best friends, and I knew how protective he was over her. I knew it would strain, if not destroy, our friendship, and I was a coward. I could have told him everything the minute Melody took off. I could have been there for her too.

But her reaction, the way she never said a word to me, ghosted me and vanished… To me, that was unforgivable. I didn't know why I wasn't even worth a text message when we had connected so deeply.

Someone knocked on the door again, and I almost shouted for them to go away, but when it opened and John's smiling face appeared, I sobered myself and sat straighter.

"Hey, Ethan." He waltzed in, leaving the door open, and sat across from me.

I felt strangely tense now. Thinking of Melody was a thing of the past. I'd moved on from it, and this awkward pressure in my chest hadn't happened in years. We had even spoken about her a few times when I asked what she was up to. I knew when their mother passed. I attended the funeral but never spoke to Mel. And when she never moved home afterward, I just assumed she was done with life here.

"Any new prospects?" I asked him, more eager than ever for him to find someone to fill this position so I could get out of town. If he did it before Thanksgiving, I could have my orientation done and be in Papua New Guinea on a boat by mid-December. As it was, if he took too long, it would be me leaving on Christmas day to train in Europe and go to Africa.

John scrubbed a hand across his face and sighed. "No one wants to move this far out of the city or commute. The bigger health systems have swallowed up all the good doctors and offered them much higher pay than I can. I'm looking and I have a few good candidates, but it's not promising." I could see the frustration on his face and decided not to make it worse by adding mine to it.

"Yeah, that sounds awful. But I'm sure you'll be able to entice someone." I drummed my fingers on the desk in front of me and pursed my lips. I hoped to avoid most of the holiday festivities by leaving town sooner rather than later, but that wasn’t looking likely. And anywhere there were festivities, Melody was sure to be present. She was just as Christmas-obsessed as the rest of the town. That used to be one of the qualities I loved most about her.

"It's taking longer than I thought, but I promise I'm searching." John had been acting dean of medicine for a few years now, and he was very good at his job, so to see him so frustrated by the staffing crisis was disheartening.

Meanwhile, I had already interviewed twice for my dream job, chief of pediatrics for Doctors Without Borders. If they offered me the position now, I'd have to turn it down based solely on a promise I made to a friend who trusted me with his life. I'd never let John down, but it would mean putting off my dream if he didn't start acting faster.

"Need me to handle any interviews?" I asked, trying to provide a solution, but he grimaced and shook his head.

"Sorry, but no go. The board won't have it. I have to do them myself and the board has to help." He stood and slapped the fronts of his knees. "Oh, and Mel's back. If you see her, be nice. She's struggling to get into the spirit this year with Mom being gone. It's her first Christmas back in Mistletoe, and I wanted her to feel at home and welcome."

I nodded at him, but I gritted my teeth. Making her feel "at home" would be hard for me since I was anything but happy.

John left my office, but I sat stewing on his words and my position. He couldn't find someone to take this job fast enough because I wanted out before my demons came out to play and broke Melody's heart the way she broke mine. She didn’t deserve it. No one did.