Grumpy Doctor’s Holiday Twins (Forbidden Doctors #17)

3. Melody

3

MELODY

T he more items I pulled out of boxes and found a permanent home for, the better I felt. Moving just before the holidays was about as stressful as it could be. There was so much pressure to decorate your home or apartment, and I just didn't have the energy to do it all right now. Thankfully, Dad was here helping with the twins or just unpacking my boxes would have been too overwhelming.

"Oh, watch Pop's buttons, honey." Dad hoisted Holly onto his lap in his wheelchair. She was smaller than Noel by several pounds and a few inches. she always had been, and it made it easier for him to play with her. Noel was heftier, and I had to lift him up when he wanted to sit with Dad.

"Pop buttons!" Holly cheered and touched the joystick on the armrest of his motorized chair. He had the panel switched off to avoid having any accidents, but he gently chided her and taught her not to play with them, anyway.

I smiled at the caring interaction, wondering how he was with John and me when we were little. I had such few memories of early childhood. My memories started around the age of ten when I remembered John and Ethan becoming friends. They did everything together, but I only had a few girls to hang out with, not anyone so close as my brother and his best friend.

The thought soured my mood slightly. I numbly collected a stack of cookbooks out of a box and found a drawer for them to call home as I remembered my interaction with Ethan at the hospital. He didn't seem pleased to see me there, and I was paralyzed when I saw him. All those feelings of love and heartbreak promised to drown me all over again.

"Ask Mommy, buddy," I heard, and I turned to see Noel trying to give Dad his sippy cup.

"Oh, here, buddy. Come see Momma." I reached for him, and he raced to my arms with his cup in hand. His face was smudged with chocolate from the pudding Dad fed them both as a snack while I unpacked the dishes. I grabbed a rag and wiped it clean as I balanced him on one hip.

"Juice," he babbled, and I struggled to refill the cup with one hand free, but I managed. It was exhausting at times, caring for the two of them and a disabled parent. But it was easier now that I wasn't also playing taxi to shuffle Dad back and forth from home to hospital and trying to help make medical decisions for Mom. I missed her, but she was at peace now, and I could focus on moving forward.

"Here you are, Noel." I kissed his cheek and gave him the sippy cup, and he ran off to play the instant his feet hit the ground.

Remembering the stress of being sole caretaker for twins and two ailing parents made this all seem so easy now. I took a breath of relief and smiled at how far I'd already come and how little there seemed left to do. I had four boxes in the living room and then just the twins’ cribs to assemble, which John promised to help with since Dad couldn’t get down on the floor anymore.

"She seems sleepy again. Are you sure it's normal for toddlers her age to have three naps a day? Noel only has one." Dad looked up at me as he cradled Holly and she rubbed her eyes. She did seem tired again, which wasn't completely out of character for her. The pediatrician in Chicago wasn't concerned. He said boys always grow faster than girls and to expect Noel to be heavier and taller than Holly until middle school at least.

"She's fine, Dad. Maybe she's just getting ready to go through a growth spurt." I walked over to them and picked her up. She laid her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my neck. "You nap a few times a day too. Is that normal?" I joked, and he scowled his grumpy old man scowl.

"I'm just saying, maybe she's coming down with something." He always rode me about their health and caring for them properly, as if an RN couldn't easily discern symptoms of a cold or flu.

"Go have a nap or something," I told him playfully, but I collapsed onto the couch to cuddle my baby girl for a while. I needed a break and she seemed to want to be held.

Dad turned his wheelchair on and maneuvered around the coffee table and labyrinth of toys the kids had left lying on the ground and stopped by Noel who was taking books off the bookshelf I'd only put there an hour ago. He tousled Noel's hair and looked back up at me.

"You think you'll end up running into the twins' father now that we're back here?" That was a question I hadn't expected from him, though it wasn't completely out of the blue. He had questioned me a few times whether I'd want them to meet their father if the opportunity arose for that to happen, but that was a few months ago when we first discussed the potential for the move home. I couldn't fully afford it on my own, and since Dad was involved, John offered to pay some of the expenses, like the moving truck that cost a lot of money, to have my things shipped back to Mistletoe Springs.

"Dad, you know it was a one-night stand." The lie felt more hurtful than ever, but only because I had wanted so much more with Ethan than just a fling, which was clearly all I was to him. He tried calling to track me down, but I knew if I told him, he would give up his dream job for me. And not only that, but he’d also have to give up his job here at New Hope too, because I had to be in Chicago with Mom. Dad couldn’t care for her. He didn't even have a driver's license to shuttle them back and forth to her appointments. With John strapped to his job as dean of medicine, it made sense for me to care for them. Besides, I wanted to be with them. I wanted to soak up every last second because I knew her time was short.

"Yes, but I'm sure you'd recognize him if?—"

"Dad, please." I told them it was a one-night stand to avoid the reaction John would have if he learned it was Ethan. John would insist that I tell Ethan because it was the right thing, but John didn't understand Ethan's heart or his passion for the work he'd be doing overseas. I could have gone with Ethan, and that would have made things different too, but I couldn’t leave Mom. "I don't want to talk about it."

My complaining tone must have communicated to him how I really felt because he backed off and paid attention to Noel instead of me. I knew the traditional route was to have both parents together in a relationship and loving their children. But this generation did things differently, and Ethan would only resent me for tying him down. He had such big dreams for his life and his career, and who was I to stand in his way? Yes, the twins deserved to have a father in their life, but lots of women stay single until they meet the right man. I just didn't have the emotional energy to go on a date right now. I'd find a man someday, and until then, John and Dad were great male role models for the twins, and Ethan was free to chase every dream without the baggage of a family to tether him to one city.

When the doorbell rang, I was forced to lay Holly down on the sofa and cover her up to get it. I knew it was John because he told me he was coming about this time, so there was no surprise when I swung the door open and he smiled at me, dangling some mistletoe over my head.

"Pucker up!" He grinned and leaned in and pecked me on the cheek, and I threw my arms around him and squeezed. We'd only seen each other briefly for about thirty seconds since I got into town, and I missed him. He held a pizza box out as I attacked him and reached toward the empty dining room table near the door to set it on.

"Oh, God, John. It feels like I haven't seen you since last Christmas." I buried my face in his neck and almost started crying. Family was so important to me and to him, and we both hated that I had to move away. I knew his heart was fuller just having us in the same city, and I wished his job weren’t so demanding.

"Baby sis, I'm so happy you're back." He spun me around and set me down, and I shut the door.

Dad scooted over to us in his chair, and John offered him a firm handshake while Noel stood in the corner of the room looking shy. He stood among his pile of books with his sippy cup and to me, it looked like he was fearful. He'd only visited with John a few times a year, but to a toddler, every meeting was like the first time unless new people became a fixture in my life.

"Noel, would you want to say hi to Uncle John?" I asked, and I held my hand out in his direction, but he shook his head and backed up and sat down by the wall.

"It's okay. He'll get used to seeing me around." John clapped his hands together and rubbed them. "It's cold out there. How about we dig in and eat some pizza before I put the beds together?"

I nodded and sighed. "Coming right up. The tool kit is in one of those boxes and the crib parts are in the twins' room. But you're right. We should eat."

I pulled Noel's high chair away from the wall and then moved toward him, and John went to the cupboards and pulled out plates and napkins. We worked seamlessly, as if our little family hadn't even skipped a beat in the nearly four years we'd been apart. Dad even helped set the table, though he couldn’t quite reach everything, and we sat down for a meal while Holly slumbered on the couch.

I cut a slice of pizza up for Noel as John helped himself to a slice and put one on Dad's plate. "So, how was orientation? Did Mindy treat you right? You saw you'll be working with Ethan, right? How'd that go?"

The topic was inevitable, but I played it cool. "I think I'll get along fine with the staff who report to me. Everyone seemed pleased to meet me, and Mindy was awesome." I skirted the topic of Ethan because just thinking about him stirred the emotion buried in my heart. I didn't want John to see the flickers of regret and longing in my eyes as we discussed his best friend.

"That's really good. I know you'll make a great charge nurse. I'm so glad you're back. I bet Ethan is relieved to have someone he knows to partner with him on all the holiday tasks. He hasn't been himself in a few years." John took a big bite of pizza and chewed, and Dad glanced at me nervously and then down at his plate as he had his own bite of food. I didn't understand why, but it unnerved me.

"Yeah?" I said, curious to know what made Ethan be "not himself" for a while. But I wasn't going to pry. Anything could have happened in the past four years with Ethan. According to conversations I'd had with John over the years, Ethan had been on every continent and in more than thirty countries.

"Yeah, but I'm sure it's because he just wants to be out on the road. He promised me to stay until Christmas, so I'm on a deadline." John talked with his mouth full of food, and I rolled my eyes.

"Say it, don't spray it," I joked, and he chuckled and covered his mouth. When he was done chewing, he continued.

"My point is, I think he could use a little holiday cheer while he's in town, but if I try to push it on him, he'll just get annoyed with me. Since you're doing all the holiday stuff as a team, maybe you could remind him of how great Mistletoe is."

There was no way I could get Ethan into the holiday spirit without getting my heart all messed up again. Ethan had probably written me off a long time ago when I ghosted him, but it was the only way. I was only going to anchor him here at home, and he wanted so badly to travel. I burned that bridge between us when I left without explanation, and I didn't think there was any way to fix it. Not even the magic of Christmas could restore it.

But I said, "Yeah, no problem. I'll see what I can do." John smiled graciously as I agreed to help him cheer his friend up, but I had the sinking suspicion that Ethan's sour behavior might have nothing to do with lacking Christmas spirit so much as it did seeing me and being hurt by my past actions. If that was the case, no amount of "cheering" would help him. I was the problem.