Grumpy Doctor’s Holiday Twins (Forbidden Doctors #17)

4. Ethan

4

ETHAN

M om's tree was already up, decorated with cream ribbon and gold tinsel. Miniature teddy bears hugged cream and gold ornaments and hung against a backdrop of all white lights that mirrored the great room in my parents' house with its drab beige carpet and tan furniture. It was only one of the at least ten trees she would erect and decorate this year.

I hung my coat on the coat tree in the entryway and left my hat and scarf there too. It'd been years since I came home for the holidays, years that passed by with such swiftness that I almost felt like Christmas never came. Superfluous traditions like decorating trees and hanging stockings didn't apply to the poverty-stricken, third-world regions I'd been serving for the past four years. My family was wealthy, but this felt like waste at times.

"Oh, honey," Mom purred. She walked up to me as I turned toward the hall to find Dad, and she patted both cheeks. "I'm so glad you squeezed in time this week. That short visit last week just wasn't enough."

They invited me to stay, even said they'd clear the guest room for my things, but I couldn't even begin to think about that. My father was one of the most prominent real estate investors in town and everyone knew his name. He owned half the buildings in Mistletoe Springs and made a point to make sure everyone knew it. I was once the golden boy of this town, and when I opted to chase a degree in medicine instead of following Dad's footsteps, the spotlight got brighter on me.

Now I just wanted to fade into the background and pretend I wasn't attached to all this wealth and its trappings. Money had its place and I had a lot of it, but it was nothing but a tool to make things happen. I just preferred to make people healthy with mine and not cushion the pockets I sat on to make myself more comfortable.

Besides, staying with my parents would also mean being dragged to every single town tradition which I loathed. Christmas pageants and parades were good for the town, but they were toxic for me, triggering all the anger I had saved up and stewed on for years. "Yeah, it was a nice visit, but I'm here." Mom and Dad had come to my room at the only hotel in Mistletoe Springs where I'd booked a room for three weeks.

We had a brief visit after which Mom insisted I come for dinner, and since they knew where I was staying, I was obligated. And after that chat with John at work yesterday, I knew I would have to extend my hotel reservation by at least a few more weeks. "Are Rick and Luke coming?" I asked, making small talk. My younger brothers lived too far away for just a family dinner on a weeknight, but Mom loved talking about them, and it gave her something else to nitpick besides me.

I listened to her ramble about their busy schedules and holiday plans. She went on about Rick's twins and his wife's new promotion, and by the time she rounded the curve and headed down the straightaway toward the finish line of lecturing me about my love life, I found Dad seated at the table. The dining room was decorated too, but not for Christmas yet. Mom had a nature's cornucopia with fruits and veggies tumbling out of it as a centerpiece and a small turkey sitting next to that.

"Look, Dear, Ethan is here." Mom shuffled off to get dinner and serve it, and I sank into a chair next to Dad, who admittedly wasn't nearly as bad as Mom.

"Hey," I grumped, sick of the festivity already, and I'd only passed one Christmas tree. My parents’ holiday party was the talk of the town. Anyone who was anyone attended it, and I knew if I was in town, they'd expect me to attend too. Rick and Luke would bring their families and I'd be the only single Sinclair man, which by itself would draw attention. I knew when Mom came back and sat down that it would be the topic of discussion.

"So, how is the hospital faring? It's been a while since you worked with John." Dad sat back and crossed his hands together, resting them on his belt buckle. He was aging. I could see the faint remnant of his black hair in places, but he was mostly silver now. I figured one day, my dark waves would vanish too, but I hoped it would be a while before that happened.

"Uh, well, working for John is pretty normal. Nothing too special happening. I'm not making any departmental or policy changes. I'm just overseeing things to make sure people get paid and patients get taken care of while he searches for a new head." I unbuttoned the top button of my shirt and loosened my tie. "It's not anything special."

Downplaying my importance at New Hope was the only way to convince my parents that the real treasure lay in taking the position at Doctors Without Borders. Not only was it a more prestigious position, but the travel was what I craved. People in first-world countries had access to the best medical care, and the people I served at DWB didn't. I was able to make lasting change, which was more important to me than just making money.

"Well, I'm sure you're doing a fine job." He looked up as Mom walked back in carrying a tray of food. She organized the dishes on the table and set the tray to the side, then sat down. I wondered where their housekeeper was. She typically served them, but maybe they gave her the night off.

"There we go, now we can just enjoy our meal." Mom shook out her cloth napkin and draped it over her lap and served herself some food. Dad and I followed suit, and I filled my plate with roast and mashed potatoes, corn, and a dinner roll. The food made my mouth water and I dug right in.

"So, Ethan, who will you be bringing to dinner this year?" Her nosy question came just as instantly as I figured it would. She never let me forget that I was the only one of her sons still unmarried. She considered it a blight on her family name that I was single and in my thirties. All of her siblings were married before they were thirty, and both Rick and Luke were wed before they left college. I just hadn't found the one.

"Mom, I'm not dating anyone here in Mistletoe." I left that open because if she pressured me, I had an excuse about a long-distance love—which secretly had no name besides philanthropy. But she didn't have to know that.

"Well, you can't come to the party stag." She scooped up a bite of food on her spoon and scowled at me as she waved it in the air and continued, "You'll be the only single man there. What if you get caught under the mistletoe?"

"Alone?" I chuckled. Dad's head was down as he shoveled food into his mouth and looked like he was ignoring the nagging session. Maybe he'd grown as annoyed with it as I had. Even when I was in Syria, she was on the phone to me, asking who I was dating.

"You know what I mean." Mom put the spoonful of food into her mouth, and the respite from the nagging was peaceful. I ate a few bites and thought about the reason I wasn't dating anyone. The real reason…

Melody Winters probably had no idea how badly she'd crushed my heart and bruised my ego. I had told her for months that our fling was private, that John would be angry. We worked together too, which made it off-limits. And she said she understood, but there was always the undercurrent of discontent with her. She wanted more, and I dragged my feet getting to that point.

When I decided I was going to make the announcement to John over Christmas that year and ask her to go to HR with me before New Year’s to make it real, I didn't even tell her. It was supposed to be my Christmas present to her. Of course, I had other things too, a beautiful promise ring for her to wear as a symbol of my love and a few other less important gifts, but I planned the entire thing for weeks.

She made the decision on December eighteenth that she was leaving, but I didn't know until the night before, and it was John who told me. Whatever magic I thought I had with her was entirely one-sided, or it seemed that way. And now I didn’t think I'd ever find a woman I could trust again. I had a few dates but couldn't even bring myself to get to third base with a woman now.

Christmas wasn’t even the same. I found myself hating mistletoe, where Melody and I shared our only public kiss—a chaste peck on the cheek during the staff Christmas party one week before she left. And I hated the songs and singing because we organized the hospital carolers that year too. Everything about the holidays made me angry and reminded me of how much I was hurt.

"So, maybe I’ll set you up? Susan's granddaughter is in town. She broke it off with her fiancé a few months back, and I'm sure she'd love to see you." Mom's meddling was frustrating me.

"No, Mom. I don't want to date Tiffany Holsworthy." The woman was two years older than me and not at all my type. She'd already been married and divorced, and now it sounded like she left another man. Maybe he ran from her.

"Well, you can't go alone," Mom said in a condescending tone.

"I'll be right back. I need to use the bathroom." I set my fork on my plate and stood up. I didn't wait to be excused because I wasn’t a child anymore, and my mother seemed to forget that.

I had spent the past four years of my life trying to put as much distance between me and this town as I could. I didn't want to think about dating or family gatherings. Or even family in general. I loved my brothers and my parents, but this town had a way of sucking you in and trying to mutate you into a Christmas elf, and my mother had a way of making me feel inadequate for being single. The combination was aggravating, to say the least.

Locking myself in the bathroom, I splashed water on my face and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I had to remember it wasn't my mother I was upset with. It was Melody and my broken heart. But even in that, it wasn't her fault. I had spent a lot of time thinking about how I'd feel if my mother had cancer and needed me to take her out of state for medical care. Whether I would have been in any state emotionally to worry about what other people thought of me.

The only way I'd been able to navigate all the hurt was to accept that Melody really did believe I was just a fling, that I couldn't date her openly because of John. And that when she left with her mother, the trauma of a cancer diagnosis and watching Deborah go through chemo were too much for her to bear. Melody cut ties because she had to in order to survive it all.

Otherwise, my heart would have been a stewing cauldron of hate and anger and I couldn't do that to her. I loved her, even if I couldn't admit that to her.

I shut the water off and dried my face and decided I had only one choice. My parents' party was on Christmas Eve, early in the day. I'd tell them I would be there with a date and not give specifics, then in the interest of preserving my dignity, I'd call Mom a few minutes before the party pretend to be sick.

It was the only way to get out of the thing, and I felt guilty doing it. But it was my life now. I'd get on that plane and fly away, and my patients in the future would be better for it.