Grumpy Doctor’s Holiday Twins (Forbidden Doctors #17)

15. Melody

15

MELODY

W ith the corner of the parking lot cordoned off for the annual Christmas float for the town parade, there was less parking, but there was more holiday cheer. It was already dark around six p.m., but the lights overhead made for a decent workspace. I pulled my sock hat down over my ears tighter and circled the trailer someone had donated for the base of the float.

Last night was our first night of construction, but I had to miss it to take care of the twins. Dad had plans to play bridge with an old friend and I had no sitter, but Lucas promised to manage things and he did well. The entire base was built up as a platform with stairs and railings on either side. Painted white and covered in fluffy pillow batting, it was already taking shape, though Lucas wasn't here yet to receive praise for the hard work the team did last night.

"They did a lot of work last night," I sighed, a crystalized puff of air emanating from my mouth as I spoke.

Tonya, a nurse who volunteered to help us, stood beside me surveying the craftsmanship. "Yeah, whoever built this must know their way around a hammer and nails. It's pretty sturdy. I'm impressed." She had her arms crossed over her chest shivering, like everyone else out here.

My eyes swept across the parking lot. Without Lucas, we had nothing to do, as he put all the supplies in the back end of his car and kept them, or at least that was what the team told me when I arrived. So we had to wait for him, but we chatted about our ideas while we did so.

When Ethan's flashy car pulled into the lot, I tensed. It had been a few days since we last spoke and it was quite the interaction. That sex showed me how badly he still wanted me, how much chemistry we had. But after hearing his pronouncement—that he would be leaving and we had no shot—I felt more anxious than excited.

My heart was so messed up about the whole situation. I was right for having kept my babies a secret from him. I knew that now, as much as it pained me. True love would never hold him back in this place where there was so much pain and hard feelings. I was doing the right thing by letting him go. I had to remind myself of that as he climbed out of his car and moved toward me, again carrying two drinks.

"Oh, hi, Dr. Sinclair," Tonya said. She waved at him happily and smiled, but she glanced at my face and took a step back. "Uh, I'll let you two talk."

I must've looked frustrated or scared, because she walked away as Ethan approached me and handed me a cocoa. I took it and the heat from the cup seeped through my gloved hands. Ethan wore no gloves, no hat, no scarf. He was entirely unprepared for the cold.

"Hi," he said softly. "I thought you could use a cocoa to warm up. I'm sorry I missed last night. I ended up having to oversee a surgery." He sipped his hot cocoa, and I watched the hot air cloud around him as he spoke. Ethan looked calmer than normal, more at peace. I didn't know whether to attribute that to his feeling settled now that he'd made it clear to me that he was leaving or if there was some other reason.

"That's okay. I missed it too. I had no sitter. It's too cold to bring the twins out like this." I sipped the cocoa and tasted the cinnamon. He had no idea what it meant that he remembered the small details and cared enough to give me things I liked. I appreciated him so much, but I didn't even want to say that. Admitting it out loud would only make it hurt more when he left.

"Well, it's looking good. The base looks really well built. Whoever did that did a good job." For once he had a smile on his face, and it made me feel happier, less tense.

"Yeah, I'm excited to get more done tonight. We have to have it done by Saturday. I can't wait to see the finished product. I love being a part of this stuff." My smile was genuine and not just over the Christmas float. Ethan was calm and didn't seem at all grumpy.

"So, what's on the docket anyway? Lights, obviously, but are we doing the hospital logo or some candy canes?" He coolly put one hand into his pocket, but I could see his fingers growing pink already, and the tip of his nose. His jaw clenched, but not in anger. He was trying to keep himself from shivering.

Native to this town and its frigid winter temps, he still wasn’t prepared. I wanted to lecture him about catching a cold, but just having him here and not bickering was a win. I said nothing about it.

"Oh, I think we're doing Santa's workshop. Someone told me a doctor from ortho was going to play Santa to cut you some slack." I winked at him, and he smiled—a real smile that reached his eyes. It was breathtaking. It reminded me of my Ethan, the one who grew up here and loved the holidays as much as me. I missed it so much.

"I'd make a better Grinch, I hear," he said, chuckling, and I agreed. His behavior over the past few weeks would have been the best audition for the town's Christmas pageant if they were doing the Grinch. He'd definitely have been cast in that role.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." We didn't make eye contact, but I felt him grow a little tense. It didn't roll over to his words, though.

He asked, "How many folks do we have tonight and where are our supplies? I'd love to get started. The more we move, the warmer we stay." His eyes searched the area where only two nurses stood huddled by the float talking quietly. More folks might come out later, but for now it was the four of us waiting for Lucas.

"Well, Dr. Hart has the supplies, but he should be here soon. Then we'll have five total, unless you can draft a few more volunteers by forcible conscription." My joke went over like a lead balloon as headlights swept past us and I saw the storm in Ethan's eyes. He was still jealous, but it didn't make sense. He was leaving. Why would he be jealous of Lucas?

The headlights were from Lucas's car, which parked right next to the float. He climbed out with a massive smile and walked right toward me and Ethan, waving a receipt in hand.

"I did it!" he exclaimed, and his joy felt infectious. His puffer coat and fuzzy scarf were complemented by mittens and a matching sock hat with a large, puffy ball dangling on each side of his head. "I got the reindeer." Lucas looked so happy, I couldn't take the wind out of his sails with any hint of discouragement, though I was a bit wary of his choice of reindeer.

"You did what?" Ethan asked, and his tone was immediately Grinch-like again.

I winced as Lucas lowered his hand and handed me the receipt signed by the people at Hardy's Reindeer Ranch. It was genuine. Lucas had paid for two reindeer to be delivered and handled next weekend for the parade.

"Oh, Melody didn't tell you?" Lucas glanced at me, then turned back to Ethan whose face was contorted into a deep scowl. "We're doing Santa's workshop. I thought the reindeer were perfect."

Again, I winced as he brought me into this. I didn't really think he'd go to the expense of renting the livestock for the float, though I never outright denied him the permission to do so. Reindeer were expensive and actually a bit impractical. They'd be a showstopper for sure, but I could see the look of disapproval on Ethan's face.

"What did I say about this? Reindeer are a health hazard. Feces on the float? Who's going to clean that up and make sure germs don't spread? And what about if they get spooked or agitated? They'd put my staff in harm's way." If it were lighter out, I was certain I'd see that Ethan's face was beet red and not due to chills. He was livid.

"Ethan, Lucas was just?—"

"Lucas defied my orders." Ethan reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. When he passed me a credit card with haste, I took it, but I wasn’t sure why. Anything I needed, John would pay for. It was the hospital's responsibility, not Ethan's. I looked down at it feeling sad that the amazing man Ethan could be had been swallowed up by jealousy and anger yet again.

"Use that and fix this," he barked, then he stomped off and I watched him walk away. He got into his car and peeled out, squealing tires. The nurses behind me and Lucas started talking in hushed whispers and my shoulders sagged.

"Wow, that was a bit over the top," Lucas said, and I didn't even stop to tell him how I felt. That he shouldn't insult the man who was so hurt by my past actions, he couldn’t see straight right now.

"Yeah…" I mumbled.

"Sinclair has a heart of ice or something. What's his deal?"

I wanted to snap at him for being so harsh because the Dr. Hart I knew had only been sweet and loving. Except, I knew he was right. I actually agreed with him. The difference was that I knew Ethan wasn't doing it on purpose. His back and forth, the yo-yo of his wanting me but pushing me away, was evidence of the pain he was going through. Only a Christmas miracle could fix that, and I was fresh out of those.

"Let's just focus on the float." I turned toward the blank canvas created by the team last night as I slid Ethan's card into my pocket. I'd return it later on when I felt like he'd calmed down, but not until I had calmed down.

"Say, when this is all over, do you want to grab dinner? Not a date," Lucas quickly explained himself, "just a celebratory dinner for finishing the float."

My head hung for a second while I thought it over. Ethan himself said he was leaving. There was no reason for me to hold out hope that he'd change his mind and stay, or that he'd change at all. He was happier away from here, and Lucas was a decent guy. Even if nothing ever developed between us, he was a good friend.

"Sure… but first, the float." I focused my attention on the task at hand, pushing away what just happened.

One day at a time. I just had to get through Christmas.