Guarded Rebellion (The Baranov Legacy)

25. Lev

25

LEV

W hen I checked on Eva in Kelly’s room, I found them both asleep. Kelly looked pale and delicate, lying on the white sheets of the hospital bed. Eva had only slumped over, her neck at an uncomfortable-looking slant as she dozed from the chair.

While I wouldn’t have minded a chance to admire her as she slept, I refused to make her stay here in that position.

“Hey,” I said gently, so as not to wake Kelly, too. Crouching down, I took Eva’s soft hand. “Wake up, b—” I cleared my throat, catching myself just in time from using an endearment with her. “Eva.” I squeezed her hand lightly.

She flinched, jolting upright with instant panic showing on her face. “Oh.” Breathing easier, she met my gaze before glancing over my shoulder at Kelly sleeping away. “I just dozed…”

I nodded, helping her stand. “It’s been a long night.”

With one more glance at her friend, Eva turned to leave with me. Rurik would remain posted outside Kelly’s door until I gave him further directions elsewhere.

Eva noticed him, too. “Is he staying all night?” she asked me.

“Yes. I thought it would make you feel better about her here.”

She furrowed her brow, awake, but seeming confused. “Thanks.” A few more moments passed before she lifted her blue gaze to me again. “Are you worried that someone might come to bother her again?”

I shook my head. After my talk with Rurik and a couple of other Baranov men I had assisting me, I was most concerned that whatever had been done to Kelly was an action to reach Eva.

“No. Someone drugged her to make her ill and weak, but not to kill her. The doctor who stopped to speak with me said she would feel unlike herself for several days but there would be no lasting effects from the drugs that he confirmed were in her blood tox tests.”

Eva relaxed at that, but she was so tired on the walk to the car and the drive back to the apartment that I couldn’t be certain how she was processing this news. We rode the elevator up to our floor, and I braced myself to catch her and carry her the rest of the way with how she was swaying and closing her eyes slowly, over and over.

“Did the doctor say if she was…?”

I shook my head. “She was not raped. Not according to that rape kit.”

Her shoulders sank even more, visibly going slack with relief. “Good.”

“Come on. You’re going to fall asleep standing up,” I told her as we got off the elevator. I saw her to her room, but as soon as I left her there to go to the bathroom, she fell asleep. From the looks of it, she was run so ragged that she literally dropped and slept right where she was.

I pulled her shoes off and eased her coat off before pulling the blankets up to cover her. It killed me to walk away from her when all that sounded fair and right was to stay and hold her, but I couldn’t take her exhaustion for granted.

Having sex with her again was a repeat of a mistake I couldn’t afford. If the Boss learned that I’d compromised his virgin niece before she could be engaged, I would be out of a job, cast out from the family.

But also, since having sex with her again, I couldn’t stop this conviction that it wasn’t enough. Not yet. Maybe not ever, but where Eva was concerned, I wanted to go at this one day at a time. For whatever I could get with her, I would meet her in the middle.

The next morning, she was busy in the living room with earbuds in as she seemed to watch and listen to a lecture that had been shared. I didn’t bother her, letting her do her work while I caught up with calls from the men on campus and back home with the Boss. With Irina’s attack, Eva’s almost rape, and now whatever had been done to Kelly, things were moving faster. Too many puzzle pieces were in motion, and I couldn’t go idle now.

All day, she remained in the apartment, studying, going through notes and research, and typing up a report or two.

“I’ve got a couple of big exams coming up,” she explained when I passed through the room.

“Does that mean you won’t need to go to campus?”

She shook her head. “Not without Kelly. I would rather stay in and finish all this stuff until she’s allowed to leave the health clinic.”

Huh. That was different. Her calm attitude was a vast change from the last morning-after when we had sex. She’d avoided me that night, and then we had to go to the Baranov mansion to report in with her uncle. Now, she was facing me with a cool, level head. No avoidance. No histrionics. No… clumsy attempts to hide her attraction to me, either.

“Then I’ll head out.”

She raised her brows.

“More follow-up with the Petrov soldiers on campus. I also want to see if I can see any Ilyin presence there.”

She nodded her head slowly. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

I didn’t. But I wanted to. “Someone will be here on guard.”

She huffed lightly. “Of course.” Already, she lowered her gaze to the books on her lap, back at work.

That was surprisingly easy. I had been prepared for a fight.

I didn’t dwell or linger, though, eager not to be idle with her in the apartment after we’d surrendered to each other. The longer I stayed in her presence, without any clear directive or threat to counter here in the building, the more I wanted to have her again. And again.

Seeing her gorgeous face twisted in an expression of utmost pleasure was a hell of an addiction to curb.

Rurik had another man stationed at the health clinic to watch over Kelly in case anyone tried to bother her there while she recovered. Kelly wasn’t supposed to be included in the umbrella of protection of the family, but it seemed that because Eva had declared her a friend, she had been inserted into our circle. I wasn’t sure that she could ever truly be vetted or vouched for, but so far, I wasn’t planning to dismiss the slim blonde. There was still a very real chance that she could have been an unintentional pawn in something set up to reach Eva.

“I haven’t seen anyone who looks like him,” Marcus reported once I met with him on campus. I didn’t have to use a name for him to know who I was referring to. That guard that I’d assumed to be an Ilyin soldier. He’d acted in defense of Yusuf before I could take him out, but now it was nothing but a big question mark what he had been up to.

He can’t be alive. I killed him.

Maybe he had a twin. Or a doppelganger. Something like that was plausible, but I wasn’t comfortable with someone from the hit on the Ilyin Boss being here on campus where drugs were moving around faster than usual and an influx of rapes were occurring.

With Marcus, I patrolled on campus. For a couple of hours, we searched for signs of the Petrov soldiers. Anyone who could look like someone from the Ilyin group too.

Once he was called to handle something else in the city, though, I made rounds with Rurik. Since he was more versed with how my stake-out and eventual kill had happened on my last assignment, I could talk more in depth with him and get his opinions on the matter. He seemed distracted, though, and a silly thought hit me.

Is he worried about Kelly?

She was nothing more than an accessory to Eva on campus. The blonde wasn’t a Baranov member. She was a stranger at best, despite the familiarity she was gaining by spending time with Eva.

“I just wish we could figure out what or who the target is,” he said before I told him that I would leave and return to Eva at the apartment. We weren’t finding anything here. No sign of our rivals. No rumors to overhear about drugs or rapes.

“You think someone drugged Kelly to get to Eva?”

He shrugged. “That makes the most sense. Eva hasn’t befriended anyone else on campus. If anyone were watching her, they’d see that they’re close.”

I didn’t like the idea of anyone watching my charge. Eva was mine to protect, and I damn well wouldn’t fail her there.

“And obviously, she’d be a target just because she’s the Boss’s niece. Hell, maybe someone wants to interfere with her being eligible for marriage. They could try to claim her, then the Boss would be forced to go along with an unfavorable alliance.”

Too late. I had already claimed her. And I struggled with the idea of giving her up. At all.

Look at this mess I’ve gotten myself into. I let out a deep breath, more eager to see her now. If I would only have this forbidden tryst with her as her temporary bodyguard, then I had to ensure we could enjoy ourselves for as long as possible.

I drove back to the apartment, stuck in my head as I tried to rationalize how we could brace ourselves for when we’d have to step back from this carnal connection we couldn’t deny. That was the one thing that remained unchanged—the lack of any actual future.

But the second I stepped into the apartment, relieving the guard standing in the hallway, I was hit with the scents of a homecooked dinner. I was treated to the sight of her bringing dishes to the table, lit with candles.

“What’s all this?” I rubbed my lower lip to hide the slow and cautious smile that wanted to sneak across my face.

She grinned, shrugging as she faced me in a simple black dress. “Just thought I’d…” Lifting her hand and gesturing at the table she’d set out for me, she implied the obvious.

“Hmm.” I tossed my coat to a chair and approached her, hands behind my back.

“Hungry?” she asked.

I gave her a slow once-over, admiring her demure yet so sexy appearance. Her hair tumbled down, unrestrained and unbound, and I fought back the instant vision of fisting it. Or seeing it splayed on the bed as I pounded into?—

I cleared my throat, trying to clear out the filthy thoughts taking over too. “Famished,” I replied.

“Then come see how I used to while away my idle time at the mansion.”

Before she could take her seat, I beat her there and pulled the chair out for her. “You cooked?”

“Yes. It was a hobby I could do anywhere, I assumed, in case I had to be moved to a safehouse.”

I frowned as I sat, appreciating her sweet gesture to cook for me. It was veritable proof of her changing feelings toward me. She’d come a long way from snarling and pouting at me, arguing with and defying me. This was a clear show of something like affection, and I would never, ever forget the first time a woman made a dinner for me.

“You were never moved to a safehouse. At least as far as I remember.”

She nodded, dishing out food to me. “True. But the possibility is always there. When the cooks were on breaks, I’d experiment in the kitchen. Then it became a hobby.” She smiled, but it didn’t last for long. “I guess it’s another way of trying to live a life I want, doing something instead of sitting around or shopping.”

“Or going to salons?” I teased. “Rurik hated it when he was assigned to Maria with all her trips to the salon.”

She rolled her eyes. “That too.”

“You’re an intellectual,” I praised. “You thrive when you can apply yourself to something.”

That sweet smile returned. “Yes. But I guess I’ll need to wean myself off that sooner or later. I can’t see my husband accommodating my ‘whimsies’, as my father calls them.”

I dipped my chin, unable to hold her eye contact with that comment.

I would. I would let you do whatever the fuck you want. Study. Read. Be a teacher. I’d heard her tell Kelly that she wanted such a career. Cook. Bake. Ride my dick. Any and all of the above.

“Any news on campus?” she asked when the quiet lasted for several minutes too long.

“No. Not really.”

“Hmm. Well, hopefully, Kelly will remember a little more of how she was drugged and that can provide some clues to your investigation.”

“Rurik said she’s doing all right.”

She gave me a mischievous smile. “I kind of wonder if he’s got a little crush developing there.”

“Rurik and Kelly?” I huffed a laugh. “He’s committed to the family. To the Boss. He’s not in any mood to settle down.”

She sobered, sipping her water. “Neither am I,” she muttered.

I let that slide, realizing she’d said it so softly that she probably didn’t intend for me to hear it.

We finished eating in companionable silence, but when we took the dishes to the kitchen and washed them together, our conversation continued on to other topics. We discussed things about the family, loosely, then we bickered and teased each other about trivial things we’d noticed as roommates the last couple of months.

A steady innuendo lingered at the surface, but we simply spent the evening together as… friends. And it was more than anything I ever could’ve wished for. In a small way, just being with her was the balm I needed for my soul after the crushing isolation I suffered during my stake out and stalking experience with Yusuf.

After, though, she changed the mood by asking me one thing.

“Will you spend the night with me?” She stared me straight in the eye as she stalled near her door.

“You want me to sleep with you?” I asked.

She shook her head but stopped and nodded instead. “Just… be with me.”

“That’s different.” I followed her into her room, amazed that she could be opening up to me like this. Without any games, without any tricks. Just me and her, getting along.

“I’m enjoying your company,” she confessed casually as she sat on her bed, then moved to lie back against the pillows. The many pillows.

“What is this?” I joked as I joined her, fighting a yawn after the long day of patrolling.

“Tired?” She laughed lightly as I removed more pillows from the massive pile.

“I haven’t slept well in a long time,” I said. “Not since my last assignment for the family. I didn’t sleep on that job, either, and I haven’t had a chance to enjoy the comfort of my bed.”

“Sorry.”

“But this…” I closed my eyes as I situated another pillow behind my head. “Oh, fuck. This is it.”

She laughed, leaning against my side. I kept my eyes closed to savor the bliss of comfort, and I blindly lifted my arm so she could snuggle flush to my side. “Oh, this is it. ‘

“What?”

“This pillow.”

She snorted. “It’s just a pillow. A stuffed shape to rest on.”

“No. No, no, no. Never tell a man who’s had to sleep on the forest floor that a pillow is just a stuffed shape.” I hugged her closer and inhaled her sweet scent, spicier from the seasoned steak stir fry she’d cooked for us.

“You haven’t been sleeping well because you haven’t had your preferred pillows?”

“Uh-huh.” My heart hammered faster as she laid her hand on my chest and stroked circles. Our shirts stayed as layers between my skin and hers, but it felt damned good.

“I never would’ve figured you to have such a specific requirement like that.” She sighed, cozying closer. “Are all your jobs that rough?”

“No. Not all of them.” This one is perfect. The best.

“Hmm.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to let you have this pillow back,” I quipped.

“Keep it,” she said around light laughter.

“I will.”

“Do you think you could keep… me? Keep this, whatever this is that we’re doing?”

“For good?” I asked.

“I doubt that.”

“Me too.” I opened my eyes and found her staring up at me. “Are you afraid to meet your uncle’s expectations?”

She lowered her gaze, letting her lids hood her eyes. “No. But I’m not looking forward to it now that I know what it’s like to be yours.”

“You're not,” I reminded her gently. I cupped her face and kissed the top of her head. She relaxed against me, tucking her cheek on my chest as I stroked her hair back.

“What do you want?” she asked sleepily. “What’s your future?”

“To have a family,” I replied. “This family—the Baranovs. Oleg took me in as an orphan, and I will prove my worth to him so he’ll never change his mind about that decision.”

“You had a life like Kelly? Going through the system and foster families?”

“No.” I was smart enough to run away and never go through that hell. “I was on the streets.”

She continued with the light circles on my chest, and under her sweet, comforting touch, I opened up and talked. And talked. About my past. About my determination to be a good soldier. I assumed I’d put her to sleep, just talking, but she piped up too, talking about a fantasy future she’d never have. To be a teacher. To wait before having kids. To travel or have a chance to take classes on preparing dishes of different cuisines.

Lying together, sleepy and secure, we talked well into the night, painting visions of what we desired, which somehow filled my cold heart more than the gritty physical rush of having sex with her.

As I drifted to sleep, I challenged myself to give up the ridiculous thoughts of love that danced in my mind.

She’s not yours.

She’s supposed to be just a job.