Hammers & Heartstrings (The Riley Siblings #3)

5. Aggie

Chapter Five

AGGIE

B ackpack. Check .

Healthy snack. Check .

Water bottle with the dancing unicorn filled with spring water. Check .

Raincoat, matching boots and umbrella. Check .

My punk sitting at the island eating her breakfast so we aren’t late for my first day of taking her to school. Not so much .

“Punky?” I yell as I set her omelet on the counter. “Clover? You coming down, baby?”

“No!”

And I sigh, long and loud to no one.

Noah warned me that she’s been a little resistant in the mornings, explained that she’s the classroom helper because the other parents keep talking shit within range of Clover’s supersonic hearing. It breaks my heart for both of them that people can be so cruel, especially when a child is involved.

Part of me understands.

Noah’s history, his problems and personal struggles were publicized for years, especially the last few before he got sober because he was a complete disaster but to think everyone is so blind that they can’t see how wonderful he is, see the amazing and devoted dad he’s become is just fucking sad.

Noah isn’t that man anymore and hasn’t been for almost five years now. He’s the boy I fell in love with when we were kids, the man I’ve fallen more in love with as I’ve watched him change and grow, grab his new lease on life by the horns and make it his bitch. Anyone with eyeballs can see how incredible Noah is, they just have to take the blinders off first.

And unfortunately, my punk is reaping what her father sowed, no matter how unfair or unkind it is to either of them.

“Clover, sweetheart.” I take the grand staircase to her bedroom, the original wood floor creaking and groaning occasionally as I go. “Punky, what’s?—”

“I don’t want to go to school!” She stomps away from the door she was about to slam, crosses her arms against her chest and stares down at her cute little bare toes.

Another long sigh as I walk in and drop to my knees in front of her. “How come, baby?”

“The other kids’ mommies are mean.”

My heart tightens, fucking pinches in my chest. “What do they do that’s mean?”

Clover lifts her head and pins me with those stormy blue eyes. “They says mean things about daddy.” Her lip quivers and shit, if she cries there’s a very real possibility I will keep her home from school and demand Noah hires a private tutor. “And the other kids says I dress weird and that’s whys I don’t have a mommy like them.”

“What?” That’s news to me. Noah didn’t say anything about the other kids teasing her or bullying her. “Does daddy know they say that?”

She shakes her head, “No.”

“Does Miss Leslie know?”

Another shake of her head.

“Clover, baby, if the other kids are being mean to you, then you need to tell an adult. It’s not okay for them to treat you like that.”

“I know.” Now her lip is quivering more and one big fat tear slides down her cheek. “I tells them my mommy went to heaven when I was a baby but they’re still meanie heads.”

They’re little assholes, that’s what they are.

“Did my mommy... did my mommy go to heaven because she didn’t want to be my mommy?”

“Oh Clover, baby, no.” I grab the little girl that I love with my whole, currently breaking heart, and hug her tight. “No baby. You know why your mommy had to go to heaven.”

She squeezes my neck. “Because she was sicks.”

“Yes. Your mommy was very sick and she went to heaven because it was very hard for her to get better, not because she didn’t want to be your mommy.” She doesn’t need to know anything else about her bio-mom, nothing at all until she’s at least forty and even then, I don’t want her to know all the details. “And just because you don’t have a mommy here like the other kids doesn’t mean you’re any different from them. You have a family that loves you so very much, just like they do.”

Clover lets go of my neck and smiles at me as she wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “Like Daddy.”

“Yes.” I wipe away her tears and smile. “Daddy loves you so so much.”

“And Uncle Jax and Uncle Vin.”

“Of course.”

“And Uncle Knoxy and Uncle Blakey and Grandma Linda.”

I smile wider as she mentions my family that is absolutely her family. “Yes, ma’am.”

“And Tanky.”

“Definitely.” Tank who is currently lying on the foot of her bed because he’s been sleeping in her room since I moved in across the hall on Friday.

Clover grins wider and cups my cheeks. “And my Gigi.”

“Damn straight.” She giggles as I kiss her nose. “Your Gigi probably loves you more than you’ll ever know, punky.”

“I loves you most, Gigi.” Then she sighs. “I wish you were my mommy.”

My heart cracks right down the middle as tears burn my nose and throat.

What the hell am I supposed to say to that? Me too, kiddo? You should have been mine because I’ve been in love with your daddy since we were a little older than you? I love you like you are mine and would make that happen in a heartbeat if I thought it was possible? Jesus, this kid sure knows how to hit me where it hurts.

“I might not be your mommy and didn’t grow you in my belly like she did, but I love you so much, Clover, and I will always be here for you. You will always be my punky, no matter what.”

“Promise?”

I nod and hold out my pinky finger. “Promise.”

Clover hooks her small finger with mine, gives it a tug, then giggles when we lean in to seal it with a kiss to our knuckles and bump foreheads.

“You’re gonna walk me inside the school today, right Gigi?”

I nod. “You bet. Hurry and get dressed, though, so you can eat before we leave. Only a half hour before we have to hit the road.”

“Okay.” Her smile is blinding as she spins on her heel and darts into her closet.

Fuck .

That was fucking intense for seven thirty in the morning.

I exit her room just as Noah walks out of his, the asshat freshly showered, smelling like heaven and looking like sin.

“She getting dressed?” He looks to the door as I pull it closed. “Didn’t give you any problems?”

I shake my head, then nod, then shrug.

“Kitten...”

“You’re home for a little while, right? Don’t have to leave for the studio yet?”

Noah lifts a skeptical brow. “No... just finished my workout. Was supposed to meet the band at eight but it got pushed back. What’s going on?”

I blow out a breath as we walk downstairs. “Nothing to get your panties in a wad over, but we need to talk.”

He stops on the bottom step and pins me with those pale blue eyes the exact same way his daughter did. “Aggie, what the fuck is going on?”

“Not now,” I whisper as Clover’s door opens. “I’ll tell you about it when I get back.”

“Great,” he huffs. “I was definitely hoping to spend the next forty-five minutes anxiety ridden.”

I pull a face as Clover comes bounding down the stairs. “It’s fine.”

“Morning, Daddy!” She shouts as she jumps onto his back. “Gigi made ommylets.”

“Morning peanut.” He swings her around, plants a kiss on her face, then props her on his hip as we head into the kitchen. “Ommylets, you say?” Noah eyes the spread on the island. “ Oh , and Texas toast with fancy jam.”

“Yep!” Clover wiggles out of his hold then hops up on a stool. “And she told me she’s gonna makes chicken pramerjan for dinner.”

I snort as he takes a seat and starts shoveling food into his mouth, pouring Noah a cup of coffee then picking at my own breakfast I don’t feel like eating.

That conversation really fucked me up.

“You don’t work tonight?”

“No.” Don’t need to tell him Halee cut my hours for some mysterious reason. Most likely because I told Ash I was moving in with Noah, I’m sure that pissed her off. “I have a few errands to run while punk’s at school, then we’re hitting the grocery store to get what we need for chicken pramerjan .”

Noah chuckles. “Sounds good to me.” His eyes flick to mine. “You’re using my card, right?”

“Yes.” I roll my eyes. “I’m not looking to start another fight over that crap.”

While I’m living in Noah’s house, I’m not allowed to pay for anything that can be perceived as useful to all three of us. He won’t let me pay utilities or rent, won’t let me buy groceries if I’m using them to cook for all of us, but I did make it clear that I’m going to cook because he can’t for shit, and if I need something that’s only for me, it comes out of my pocket. Gas, clothes, toiletries, stuff for Tank. Those are my expenses, and I won’t let him tell me otherwise.

Noah claims he’s being intense about money because he has too much and wants me to save for my own place, but I know it also comes from a place of guilt. I might have forgiven him for everything that’s happened between us over the years, I know most of it happened when he wasn’t himself, but Noah hasn’t. I’m not really sure he’ll ever forgive himself, to be honest, but he needs to. There’s nothing left to forgive in my eyes, nothing left to prove. He’s the same Noah who’s been my best friend for almost thirty years and that is the best gift he could give anyone. And it’s why I won’t take anything more from him than what he forces me to take, money included.

“Alright, punk.” I put our dishes in the sink and make it a point to give Noah a look that says leave those until I get back. “Give Daddy a kiss and suit up. It’s raining cats and dogs out there.”

Twenty minutes later, we’re walking into Clover’s classroom hand in hand.

“Have a great day, punky.” I kiss her forehead and push her hair out of her eyes. “Don’t let anyone bring you down. You’re a rockstar, you’ve got this.”

“Okay!” she squeals as she practically puts me in a headlock. “I loves you, Gigi!”

“Love you too, baby. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

I’m about six feet down the hall when an unfamiliar female voice catches my ear.

“Excuse me, but are you Mr. Thornbie’s new nanny?”

I clench my teeth and slowly turn to face a skinny brunette so full of collagen she might explode. Even without the disapproving tone, I can tell she’s a bitch, which means this must be Bobby’s mom.

My brow lifts but I don’t speak, I just wait to see what she has to say first.

She closes the gap between us and lowers her voice. “Just a word of advice, a friendly chat between us girls .” It’s barely eight o’clock and this idiot already stinks of booze. “If you want to keep your job working for that so-called rockstar , I’d recommend staying out of his bed. Once you spread your legs for him, Mr. Thornbie will toss you aside like yesterday’s news.”

She looks like the type who’d press charges if I lost my shit and punched her in the hall of a private school. Definitely would cause a scene, probably try to sue me and Noah despite having money shooting out of her ass. Plus, I don’t want to make more issues for Clover.

“Is that so?” I cross my arms against my chest and push down the urge to rearrange her face.

Bobby’s mom nods. “I’ve seen it at least a dozen times since that poor little girl started attending Brimmly. He goes through nannies like Kleenex.” Then she leans a little closer. “And when he gets rid of them, he sends the gay goon squad to drop off and pickup his daughter. That can’t be good for her psyche, watching her dad use and discard women, then send the gays to do what he should be doing.” She tsks. “Such a terrible role model for a developing mind.”

I cannot go to prison for homicide.

Clover needs me.

Noah needs me.

My brothers would kill me.

My mother would have a stroke.

No, I absolutely cannot murder this woman, no matter how much I want to. It won’t do anything but make me feel better.

And that’s enough for me to still consider it.

At least knocking her out or something.

“Sounds like you know everything about them.”

Bobby’s mom nods, the idiot. “I’ve googled him. Even thought about having my sweet boy put in another class so we didn’t have to affiliate with them.”

I narrow my eyes. Sweet boy, my ass.

It’s not his fault, though. Clearly, he’s been taught how to be an asshole from a young age.

“I just wanted you to have the heads up.” She smiles, all satisfied with herself. “As the new nanny?—”

“I’m not.”

She frowns. “You’re not?”

“Nope.” I pop the P and widen my stance. “I’m not the nanny.”

“I didn’t think Mr. Thornbie had any family?”

“Find that in your Google search too, did ya?”

She nods. “I’m almost positive he has no one, that’s why he’s been hiring nannies and passing his daughter off on the gays.”

“He has me.”

Bobby’s mom straightens her spine, a little worry creeping into her glassy eyes. “And who are you , exactly?”

Welp, looks like I’m taking a page from Noah’s playbook. “I’m the girlfriend.”

“ Girlfriend ?” she gasps. “But I’ve never seen you before, you must have just started seeing him. I can’t imagine you’d be okay with your boyfriend sleeping his way through the hired help.”

I grit my teeth. “If he was, then yes, I’d have a huge problem with it, but I know for a fact that isn’t the case.”

“What do you mean? I’ve seen all the women that have come through here, there’s no?—”

“Look, Bobby’s mom , no offense, but you don’t know one goddamn thing about Noah, his daughter or their life.”

Her eyes go saucer wide before they narrow. “And I suppose you do?”

I nod. “Damn right I do. Noah and I have been friends since we were kids, I know him and his business better than anyone else.”

“But you said you were the girlfriend.” She thinks she caught me, but I’m a damn good actress. I can own this shit and feed it to her with a shovel.

“I am. Noah and I have been friends for almost thirty years, but we’ve been more than that since Clover was born, so the next time you want to run your mouth about either one of them, just remember you don’t know shit.” I take one step forward as she takes a step back. “A friendly word of advice between us girls , keep your nose out of other people’s business, especially when you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Noah isn’t some man whore who uses his daughter to sleep with women. He’s been faithful to me for four years and the only reason we’ve had to hire nannies for Clover is because we both have demanding schedules, but that changes starting today. Moving forward, there will no longer be a need for a nanny because Noah and I are engaged, we live together, and we will be taking care of our daughter without involving anyone else in our business.” Oops . That escalated quickly. “Noah is my man. Clover is my baby girl, and that is all you need to know.” Maybe not . “One more thing, actually.”

Bobby’s mom looks horrified, and I am fucking thrilled about that.

“If I ever hear you refer to our family, hear you refer to Clover’s uncles as the gays again, I will sue your ass for defamation of character, slander and being an overall judgmental bigot so fast it’ll make your head spin.” I plaster on a fake smile. “Stay the fuck away from me and my family, Bobby’s mom . Maybe you should spend more time teaching your son how to be a good person instead of sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. See you in the pickup line.”

Then I swagger my satisfied self out of that school and drive home in a blind rage.

“That fucking bitch!” I scream as I slam the front door, kick my combat boots across the foyer and throw my wallet because I’m mad as hell.

Noah comes flying down the hall, barely skids to a stop in front of me with a guitar in one hand raised over his head like a battle ax, wire cutters in the other like a shank.

“What the fuck, Aggie?”

I ignore him and look for something else to throw.

Oh my god, I am so fucking pissed.

Noah searches the foyer, the sitting room, the library. “I thought there was a fucking intruder or some shit.”

“We are pulling Clover out of that hellhole immediately!” I screech and stomp my way toward the kitchen. “That is no fucking place for someone as perfect and special and beautiful as Clover Creek to try to get an education, not with spiteful, nosy, drunk bigots lurking around!” Since there is no liquor in the house and I refuse to indulge in anything while I’m staying with Noah, I grab the brownies we baked last night and shove one into my mouth.

“What the hell happened?” He leans his acoustic against the island and takes a seat. “I haven’t seen you this mad since I took a piss in your can of paint thinner.”

I snort.

You’d think he was referring to something that happened before he was sober, but he’s not. Noah peed in my can of paint thinner two months ago because we were stuck in traffic while taking Clover to the zoo. I drove my car, for some strange reason, and since my best friend has the bladder of a woman who has given birth no less than fifty times, he couldn’t hold it and I told him to grab a can from the back. I meant soda can, but Noah just grabbed the first one he encountered.

And I had no idea he pissed in my paint thinner until I was working on a piece for Knox, one I had to throw away immediately once I realized what I was using.

I pick up another brownie. “I’m more mad dan dat.” Bad manners be damned, Noah has seen far worse than me yelling with a mouthful of brownie. “I mad as helsh tangs to dat tupi cut Obby ma.”

“While I understood everything you just said…” Noah smirks his stupid, sexy smirk. “Start from the beginning and wait until you’re done chewing. I love listening to you rant when you’re pissed.”

I scowl around another mouthful, almost choke, then rush to the fridge for some of the organic whole milk he buys for Clover because I’m not drinking his skim shit.

“You good, kitten?” He chuckles as my eyes water. “Don’t need to get a paramedic in here or anything?”

“Bobby’s mom is a royal bitchtits,” I cough out as I slam the carton on the island. “And Bobby is a little turd!”

Noah frowns, but waits for further explanation.

“Did you know the kids are making fun of Clover for the way she dresses? Telling her she’s weird, and that’s why she doesn’t have a mom?”

Oh, that was so stupid.

My best friend shoots up from the stool so fast it falls over and he’s lumbering toward the front of the house almost as fast. Which is why I’m forced to take drastic measures. If I don’t, papa bear is going on a rampage, and it will be all my fault.

I launch myself over the counter, do some crazy ninja kick thing that I’m sure Knox would be proud of, and slam into Noah’s back. I’ve almost got him in a sleeper hold, but he’s so goddamn big and burly that I’m barely slowing him down. I wiggle and adjust, wrap my legs around his waist, and tighten my grip around his neck.

“Noah!”

“Where the fuck are my keys?” He growls and keeps on searching the counters, the junk drawer, his desk in the library. “Fuck it. I’ll just walk.”

“You don’t have shoes on!”

“Don’t care.” Noah grunts as he dumps the candy dish by the front door. “Where the hell is my wallet?” He opens the door, still wearing me like a backpack, but pauses. “I’m walking down there, kitten. Now’s your chance to hop off if you need to.”

I cling to him tighter. “You’re not even wearing socks!”

“So?”

“It’s raining!”

“Last chance, Aggie.”

Guess there’s only one thing left for me to do.

With what little strength I have left—I am super out of shape, and this is exhausting—I keep my right arm locked around his neck, try not to choke him out, then use my left hand to start pinching the back of his arm.

“Hey!” Noah screeches. “What the fuck, Aggs?!”

“You gonna go back inside?”

“No. I’m gonna go down to that school and rip into every motherfucker down there.”

I pinch him again, pinch hard in the little bit of meat I can grab from his triceps, then do it repeatedly.

“Jesus! Aggie, stop!”

“You gonna go inside?”

“Stop!”

“Not until you promise to go inside the house and listen to me!”

Noah is spinning in circles, trying to reach behind him and pull me off his back while I keep pinching the shit out of his arm. I’m gonna be dizzy as fuck, but I don’t care because he needs to hear me out.

“Fine!” He grunts. “Fine, you win!”

A few minutes later we’re back at the island, Noah pouting on a stool while he rubs his arm, me shoving more brownie into my mouth. We’re having a super intense stare down, lasers practically shooting out of our eyes, but I’m not gonna let him do anything without hearing the entire story first.

“You goo?” I mumble around chocolatey goodness.

Noah gives me a curt nod.

Jerk .

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about this morning. Clover was upset over what she heard those stuck-up PTA moms talking about, but she also told me that the other kids are giving her a hard time about how she dresses and...” I shrug, deciding not to tell him Clover also said she wishes I was her mom. “We talked a little, and I made sure she knew it was important to tell adults when kids are bullying her. Then I reiterated that it doesn’t matter who her family is, as long as she knows she’s loved.”

“Which she does,” he grunts.

I nod in agreement. “She does, and she never questioned it, but kids are mean and since their parents are worse, I think you’re going to have to be prepared for more than just shit talking about you.” I chew my lip and try not to get super pissed again. “Not that I’m trying to tell you how to parent, you are an amazing dad, Noah, and I know you’ve got this, but between what Clover said and what I ran into?—”

“Bobby’s mom, apparently.”

Okay, I’m getting super mad again. “That bitch thinks she knows everything about you. She had the nerve to stop me and share a friendly piece of advice under the assumption I was the nanny .”

Noah grins like the shithead he is. “How’d that go?”

Ignoring him to a degree, I take a deep breath. “That gossip hungry whore said since I was the new nanny, it would do me good to keep my legs closed because you run through them like tissues. She just assumes because you’re a rockstar you are a total slut and use Clover to get women in your bed!” Yep, super pissed. “Then she went on about how terrible you are as a role model, not just because you have a rough past or parade an endless stream of naked groupies in front of your daughter, but also because Jax and Vin are two men in love!” I crush the brownie in my hand to dust. “She kept calling them the gays ! That witch attacked my family, to my face, Noah! She implied my beautiful, perfect baby girl has something wrong with her, made horrible comments about my friends because they love each other instead of stuck-up cunts like her and she personally attacked my... my... you !”

My chest is fucking heaving right now and I’m seeing red. I have half a mind to drive down to the school, break into the office and find her address so I can beat the shit out of her like I should have. I can’t remember the last time someone got under my skin like this, but I sure as fuck won’t forget it this time.

“We’re engaged now, by the way!” I shout at Noah, who is currently staring at me with a devious smile and a heat I haven’t seen in years. “And the next time I see Bobby’s mom, I’m going to punch her right in the snatch because that is probably the only part of her body that is still real! Oh my god, I am so fucking?—”

“Wait, what now?” He blinks, that smile still firmly in place.

I nod again. “I told that asshole we’re engaged! When she started questioning who I was to you and Clover, I first said I was your girlfriend because that’s what you said on Friday to keep those cocksuckers in your band at bay, but she kept going. She said nasty things, things that are so far from the truth, they’re practically urban legends and then she questioned your parenting, slammed Jax and Vin, and made it sound like Clover was a victim in some sick and twisted sideshow. I just fucking snapped, so I told her we had been friends for almost thirty years, together the last four, then upped the ante by throwing in that Clover won’t ever need a nanny again because I moved in, and we’re engaged!”

Which, in hindsight, was really fucking stupid.

I totally set myself up for a web of lies I’ll surely get so caught up in I start to believe them myself, and when Noah’s album drops and he doesn’t need me anymore, well, we all know how it’ll go.

Noah, still with the shit eating grin, slides off his stool and slowly starts toward the hall.

“Where are you going?!”

“Gotta find my wallet and keys.”

“Aren’t you mad?! Why aren’t you mad? You should be even more pissed than I am, and I’m a little concerned about the crazy look on your face and lack of lecture about my extreme foot in mouth!”

No response.

But I can hear him walk around upstairs, hear Noah go into his bedroom before I hear him walk out and when he comes back into the kitchen, he’s wearing shoes, twirling his keys and still fucking smiling.

“I’m going to smack that grin right off your face!”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Get your boots.”

“Why?” I stuff more brownie into my mouth, the last brownie, which means I need to add those ingredients to my grocery list so I don’t get a guilt trip from my favorite three-and-a-half-year-old later.

“You have errands to run, right?”

“Yesh.”

“Well, so do I.”

I frown. “Wha habo da udio?”

“I texted Grady and told him I wasn’t coming in.”

I swallow hard, forcing the brownie down with a heaping helping of regret over eating all of them. “Why?”

“Because I have some shit to handle at my daughter’s school.” Noah goes back toward the hall. “And I have to buy an engagement ring for my fiancé .”

I watch his sexier than it should be back until he disappears.

Shit .

I am such a fucking idiot.

I already knew moving in was going to wreak havoc on my tattered heart, but I did it anyway and now... fuck, now I made everything so much worse by throwing around titles that require us to play a part the duration of my time here. A part that can’t be anything more, titles that will never be mine.

And that definitely means when Noah is done playing house and finds a new nanny for Clover before he goes on tour for the last time, he’ll move on and I’ll move out, move far away and lick my wounds, then try to get over the only boy I’ve ever truly loved.

Because moving away from Noah Thornbie is the only way I can attempt to get over him.

Too bad I’ve already tried that. I know first-hand it doesn’t work.