Hammers & Heartstrings (The Riley Siblings #3)

12. Aggie

Chapter Twelve

AGGIE

I step out onto the sidewalk and tip my head back, my eyes sliding closed as I let the rays of the mid-morning sun bathe me in its incredible warmth.

How is this my life?

I went from a broke ass struggling tattoo artist who was basically homeless, to living the fantasy I’ve had since I was a little girl.

Big, beautiful house on a secluded piece of property? Check .

In bed with the man of my dreams every night, waking up to him every morning, our days filled with so much love and laughter, unbridled joy and happiness around every turn? Check .

The sweetest little girl in the entire world depending on me, loving me and letting me love her unconditionally while I help raise her to be strong and smart, sweet and feisty? Check .

A dog who is as loyal as they come, a fierce protector who loves me like I gave birth to him myself. Check .

Friends, though few, who support us and care for us in a way that’s just as close as if we share blood? Check .

My family, who I adore, finally happy and ever growing, building on the foundation laid by our parents who were the perfect model of what a true happily ever after should be? Check .

The hottest, most intense, most incredible sex I could have imagined multiple times a day, every day. Check .

So maybe that last one wasn’t a dream I had when I was a little girl, but it was one that developed later on and I’m crushing it there too. And now, now I’m going to have a baby .

I’m almost seven weeks pregnant with Noah’s baby and while that was something I never thought would happen, it was something I always secretly wanted just the same, and it’s actually happening.

His album release came and went, Blow Back hitting record sales the first two days it was out and despite still worrying over what would happen between us when it dropped, nothing changed. If anything, its release has made things between Noah and I better than they’ve ever been and I’m sure it’s because he can finally walk away from the lifestyle that almost ruined him, the one that chained him down for years and I’m so fucking happy, so ready for the next chapter in the story of us I could cry.

Something I’ve been doing a lot more of lately.

I started to feel a little off almost a month ago, but I didn’t put too much stock into it. I’m emotional by nature and cry easy no matter how much I hate it, but the bouts of out of nowhere tears were accompanied by nausea, breast tenderness and what I thought was bloating to the point of wearing only leggings for weeks. I assumed it was my period because those are all my normal symptoms, but when Aunt Flo never came and the rest only intensified, I decided to make an appointment.

One Noah thinks was just a normal office visit to get refills for my birth control.

Nope.

Especially since there was a whole week prior to having sex with him in the bayou where I forgot to take my pill at least twice, possibly three times, and I guess that was all it took for my best friend to knock me up. Doesn’t help that we haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other since then either. I’m sure all the wild sex we’ve been having was going to be too much for my teeny tiny pills, anyway.

Regardless of when or how it happened, I’m officially, undeniably pregnant and I cannot wait to tell Noah and Clover.

This is her last week of school before summer vacation and again, I was a little worried about what that meant for us, but when Noah finally moved me out of my bedroom into his, started referring to everything as ours and sat Clover down to really explain our relationship to her, my worry disappeared completely.

She is going to be so damn excited about this baby.

Clover was practically beside herself when Noah told her we were in love, told her that I was staying with them forever. She even cried big fat tears of joy, then asked two questions that I had no idea how to answer.

First thing out of her mouth after Noah laid it all out there? My punk asked if she could start calling me mommy before we got married because it was like I’ve been her mommy since she was born, anyway.

We haven’t talked seriously about getting married, but Noah has made a few comments here and there, dropped some hints about my ring being something he had designed well before we accidentally got pretend engaged.

I’m definitely not against marrying my best friend, but I’m not going to be the one to bring it up. If he wants to marry me, Noah can ask properly and not while he’s fucking me senseless, because yeah, he’s growled that at me more times than I can count while he’s been balls deep inside me. No matter how much I love it, that isn’t the way to ask.

As for Clover calling me mommy? We left that up to her. Noah told her it was her choice to do it or not, her decision to make when she felt comfortable and ready, and we didn’t want to influence her one way or the other.

She’s called me mommy ever since we had that talk.

The other thing Clover asked? When are we going to give her a baby brother or sister, preferably brother, because then our family would be even.

Again, Noah proved how amazing he is at this whole parenting thing and he explained to my punk that it would happen when the time is right, when God thinks we need our family to grow then he asked her how many brothers and sisters she wanted.

Forty.

Clover wants forty brothers and sisters and I’m pretty sure my ovaries screamed and went into hiding.

I want kids, always have, and being with Clover from day one made me want them even more, but I’m gonna have to tap out around four, I think. I’m not some spring chicken and eventually I’d like to have my body back, preferably before I’m forty.

Needless to say, Clover was thrilled and the three of us have been living in this perfect little blissed out bubble for the last two months. And now I get to tell the two people I love more than anything that our family is growing ahead of schedule.

I hop in my Jeep with a grin on my face, one that hasn’t left it since my doctor walked in with the results of my pregnancy test. I even smiled when they shoved an ultrasound wand up my hoo ha and took the first pictures of our little bean, made the positive test even more real when I saw our baby on the screen in black and white. Then she emailed me the sonogram so I can print them at home to show Noah and punky when she gets out of school.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited in my entire life.

Something I need to get under control so I don’t blow my surprises before we’re all together.

“Noah?” I call out when I walk into the eerily quiet house. “Thor, you home?”

“Up here, kitten.”

My smile grows as I kick off my boots, take the stairs two at a time and start stripping off my clothes. If he’s in our bedroom, then I’m pretty confident Noah and I are about to have some more of that mind blowing sex I can’t seem to get enough of. Apparently, being pregnant makes me hornier than hell, which is crazy in itself because when it comes to Noah, I’ve always had an insatiable sex drive.

Except when I walk into the room, Noah is on the phone, fingers tugging on his hair while he paces.

“That’s fine, I can make it work but...” His gaze swings toward me, the semi-frustrated look morphing into a heated one when he looks at my almost naked body. “It’ll be tight.”

I smile, reach behind me to unclasp my bra and drink in my man. He’s sweaty, shirtless, still in his basketball shorts and sneakers, but my god, Noah Thornbie is utter perfection.

“I have to go,” he grunts into the phone, eyes laser focused on my tits as his hand falls to his crotch where Noah squeezes his dick through the mesh before he drops his shorts. “I’ll call you after lunch.”

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I grin as he hangs up and throws his phone on the bed. “I could have waited.”

He shakes his head, then yanks his shoes and socks off. “And what kind of man would that make me? Ignoring a goddess when she walks in almost naked, that sexy as fuck body on full display.” Noah tsks. “I’d be a fool to pass up the chance to worship at her feet and indulge in her divine beauty.”

I roll my eyes as I hook my thumbs in my panties and lose them, too. “So dramatic.”

“You love it.” Noah is in front of me in two long strides, his fingers ghosting along my skin. “I stink.”

I lean forward with a smirk, sniff him, then lick the sweat from his mammoth chest. “You do.”

Those pale blue eyes are a shade darker and hooded, but he’s grinning like the devil himself. “Shower sex it is.”

Then I’m up in his arms with my legs secure around his waist as Noah carries me to our bathroom, kissing and biting the whole way.

I seriously cannot get enough of this man.

Once the water is perfect, Noah sets me on my feet. “Oh, mighty goddess.” He grins as he kisses his way down my body, gets to his knees, and sucks my incredibly sensitive nipples into his mouth. “Let me worship at your altar.” His tongue circles my belly button, then travels until he’s level with my pussy. “Let me give all the thanks and praise to the goddess of sex, love, and light.” Noah throws one of my legs over his shoulder and growls. “I come bearing offerings of adoring devotion, love that knows no bounds, and a body meant only for your deepest pleasure.”

One swipe of his tongue has my knees buckling, but Noah doesn’t let me fall. No, he grips my thigh and ass firmly, keeping me completely secure while he totally devours my pussy.

Hard pulls on my clit between his lips.

Languid strokes of his tongue along my dripping wet slit.

The occasional nip of his teeth that has my hips bucking in his face, riding his mouth without abandon as my orgasm courses through my veins.

My fingers dive into his hair, keeping Noah exactly where I need him, where I want him despite the way he knows both without ever having to ask. The man is a god in his own right, one who knows my body better than I do.

“Noah,” I hiss. “Oh my god, baby, I?—”

I practically scream as I come out of nowhere, my orgasm exploding in my veins and ripping through every inch of my body harder than any other before. And just when I think I’m going to collapse from how intense it is, Noah jolts to his feet, hoists me against the wall and slams into me so hard my vision goes white.

“You gonna come for me again, kitten?” He growls against my neck, his teeth sinking into my flesh as his cock pounds my pussy so hard I’m convinced he’s poking my uterus and bouncing our baby around.

I claw at his back and press my feet against his perfect ass. “Yes. Yes, Noah. I’m coming!” I can’t seem to stop coming. My orgasm is still raging through my entire body and when he manages to hook my knees over his elbows while still keeping me against the wall, it hits a high I’ve never experienced before, one that crashes into me like a tidal wave.

“You want me to fuck this pussy until I come? Want me to come so deep inside your perfect body that you’ll feel it in your soul?” His hips are slamming into mine, deep, hard, fast. Perfect.

“Yes. Yes, Noah, please. Fuck my pussy. Fuck my pussy hard, give it to me.”

And he does.

A third wave of bliss renders me almost blind and when I’m positive I’ve entered another level of consciousness, Noah roars out his release in the most beautiful sound that echoes off the bathroom walls and lands right in the middle of my chest.

“Fuck,” he pants against my lips as he kisses me so sweetly I could cry. “Is it even possible for us to keep getting better at that?”

I smile as Noah carefully lowers me to the stone bench and braces himself against the wall. “Dunno.”

God, I love looking at him. Even when he’s a little shaky and showering off his workout, Noah Thornbie is so fucking sexy. “Guess we’ll have to keep having sex in order to find out.”

He flashes me a grin over his shoulder before he dips his head under the water. “Research and all. It’s really the only way to prove my theory.”

“Exactly.” I sigh, totally sated and content. Also, very unable to move. Good thing Noah likes my company, because there is no fucking way I can get out of the shower right now. “Who was on the phone? Is everything okay?”

He nods as he squeezes way too much shampoo into his hand and starts scrubbing his gorgeous hair. “Lenny Whitehead, and everything is great.”

My body tenses immediately at that name, despite knowing Noah is done with him. “Just reviewing record sales?” I ask hopefully. His contract with Bleak December is up, but Lenny has checked in a few times to go over Noah’s royalties and crap, so I’m sure that’s all it is.

But when Noah shakes his head, then peeks at me with one eye as suds run down his face, my stomach drops. “He wants to know when I’ll be ready to hit the studio.”

Suddenly, everything tilts as a wave of nausea slams into me and makes me dry heave a little.

Hit the studio?

His contract is up.

Blow Back met the requirements outlined in it and it gave Noah the ability to walk away from the band without a tour or anything else that life used to demand of him.

“What?” My voice is strained, my eyes immediately welling with tears. “What do you mean, hit the studio? ”

“I told you about that,” Noah grunts as he rinses his hair, then grabs the conditioner.

“About what?”

“About the new terms of my contract. How the last album didn’t count toward the six because it was an online only release.”

“No, you didn’t.”

He nods. “I swear I did, kitten. Lenny severed my ties to the band and anything to do with them except monies from what I worked on because I wanted out. But since I still owe him an album, I have to get back in the studio in a few weeks.” Noah looks at me as he starts washing his body. “Remember? I have total control, get to pick my band, organize a straight edge tour? I’m sure we discussed this.”

I shake my head and try to blink through the way my eyes blur. “We never talked about this. Last I knew, Blow Back was your last album, and you were going to talk to Lenny about getting out of the tour because of Clover.”

“Shit.” Another grunt. “Sorry kitten, I meant to tell you weeks ago. I didn’t have much of a choice, but this is going to be huge. I’m doing a solo album for Gateway, final say in everything, creative license to make whatever music I want, however I want with whoever I want. And since I owe him a tour, I’ll hit the road when I schedule it. I was thinking next summer when Clover is out of school so she can come with. A sober crew and heightened security means you both can come with me. No booze, no drugs, no groupies. We’d have our own private bus, just the three of us, Jax and Vin will run everything. It’ll be amazing and when it’s over, I’ll be able to walk away, no questions asked.”

Oh my god, I think I’m going to be sick.

I thought he was already done with this, already able to walk away. I thought we could finally have the life I’ve always wanted, the life we’ve talked about ever since Noah told me he’s always been in love with me.

An album is one thing, I could probably live with that, deal with the parties and promo since it would be so different from being part of a band, but a tour? Noah can’t seriously be na?ve enough to think it’ll be substance free, not with the way most roadies and members of the crew party just as hard as the rockstars they work for.

And it’s just plain stupid to think there won’t be groupies. Noah Thorn isn’t just a guitar god, he’s a sex symbol and before that, my best friend had to practically beat girls off of him with a stick. Sex and drugs go hand in hand with rock ‘n roll, so to think a tour wouldn’t have any of that is ridiculous.

Not to mention next summer we’ll have a baby to worry about. I’m due at the beginning of March. Our baby will be a few months old and while I know it isn’t impossible to travel with an infant, touring with an infant and an almost five-year-old might be pretty tricky. And I sure as fuck don’t want our kids exposed to what happens when a rockstar goes on the road. Noah can’t stop everything, no matter what he believes.

“I’m so damn excited, kitten,” he says with a smile. “I’ve never been able to do anything like this before, and I can’t fucking wait. It’s going to be a lot of work, but having you by my side, it won’t even feel like it. Maybe you can come to the label with me when I start interviewing the crew. You have a wicked ability to read people, and that will definitely come in handy.”

Fuck .

Noah is excited about this.

So excited and hopeful, almost giddy over the opportunity.

And I’m a fucking disaster on the verge of puking because the future I was planning is slipping through my fingers.

But I give him a forced smile and slowly get to my feet. “Sure. Sounds great, Thor.”

“It will be. It’s going to be epic, Aggs, and with you holding my hand every step of the way, I know this is going to be the best version of Noah Thornbie yet.”

He turns to wash his face just as a tear slips down my cheek. I have no idea what I’m going to do. I want to support my best friend; support the man I’ve loved my entire life. I want to keep planning our future, but I want one that doesn’t involve the biggest roadblock we’ve ever faced, the one that took my best friend from me all those years ago.

The problem is, I can’t see myself walking away.

I’ve never been able to do that and now that I know how Noah feels about me, how he’s always felt about me, now that the little girl I love more than anything in the world calls me mommy and we’re about to make her a big sister… walking away from either of them is more impossible than ever.

But it isn’t just my heart I have to protect anymore. I have to protect Clover’s and this new baby, even if it means protecting them from their father. It’s not that I think Noah is going to walk into the studio and start immediately shooting up again, he’s so much stronger than he thinks he is and he’s made his recovery a top priority, but even the strongest of men can fall when temptation is in their face day in and day out. I’d like to believe we can do this, that Noah is in a place to be able to make all this happen without falling back into the lifestyle, but there’s still a tiny part of me that’s scared.

Scared this was all too good to be true and I’ll lose my best friend, my soulmate, and the father of my children all over again.

“I’m going to go get dressed.” My voice is still strained as I step out of the shower. “Then we…” My phone starts blaring Mother by Danzig down the hall.

Great .

That’s all I need.

One conversation with Linda Riley and I will fall apart and confess everything so fast she’ll be on a plane to Louisiana in no time.

It stops ringing, the fancy new iPhone Noah surprised me with when I broke mine beyond repair, but just when I start toweling off, it rings again.

Danzig two more times then The Best Day of My Life by the American Authors, which is—you guessed it—Blake’s ringtone.

The songs rotate for a minute before Blake keeps calling my phone and Ma starts calling Noah’s.

I run into the bedroom as he jumps out of the shower. “Answer it.” He looks as panicked as I feel. “Just grab mine.”

“Mom?” I basically sob as I barely swipe the screen. The last time they called me like this was when Da died.

“Your brother was in an accident.” She blurts through her tears.

“What?”

Ma sniffles and tries to calm down. “Knox and Hazel were in an accident.”

Tears stream down my face as the phone slips from my fingers, but Noah catches it and puts it on speaker. “Linda, it’s Noah. What’s going on, Ma?”

“Knox was in an accident. He and Hazel were out on the boat, and it apparently crashed. She called me on the way to the hospital, but we got cut off. I have no idea how bad it is or what’s going on, but you need to come home, Aggie.”

I’m way ahead of her.

I rush to the closet and pull on the first thing I can find, which happens to be Noah’s sweatpants and t-shirt, then run out and start throwing shit into my backpack.

“I’ll get her on a red eye,” Noah says as he swipes his screen. “Don’t worry about anything, Ma. I’ve got our girl taken care of and she’ll be to you in no time.”

“Thank you,” she cries. “I’m so scared, Aggie.”

My chest squeezes. Me too . For all the fucking reasons now.

“He’ll be okay, Ma. You know Knoxy. It’s probably not as bad as it sounds. Plus, he’s tough as shit, so he’ll be fine.” I hope. “I’m getting ready now and I’ll be out the door as soon as I can.”

Noah helps me pack more than just socks because I’m a mess and that’s what I kept stuffing into my bag. “I’ll text you her flight info. Clover’s last day of school is tomorrow. I’ll see if I can get us on a plane after that.”

“Okay.” Ma sobs. “Thank you, Noah.”

Jeez, she must be a wreck if she’s not arguing with him over making an emergency trip to Florida.

“Is Blake with you?” Which is a stupid question. Of course he isn’t, not yet. He may have a short flight from Georgia, but I doubt my brother can fucking teleport now. God.

“He’s on his way. He said he was going to call you from the airport.”

“He did. I missed him, though.” Noah hands me my bag after he puts my charger and wallet in it, then pulls me to him for a grounding hug. “When is he supposed to get there?”

Ma sniffles hard a couple times. “Should get in around the same time you do.”

“Good,” Noah grunts. “Orlando, right?”

“Yes.”

“If you talk to him before I do, have him wait for Aggie. I’ll rent a car and have it ready for them.”

I squeeze my best friend hard, so fucking grateful for him.

“You need anything at all, Ma, do not hesitate to call me. Got it?”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” she cries harder. “Be safe. Kiss my granddaughter for me. I love you all.”

“We love you too,” he says before Ma hangs up. “It’s okay, kitten. Knox is going to be fine.”

“I know,” I cry into his chest. I know my big brother is going to be fine, but I might not be.

Maybe this is what I needed to put things into perspective. A quick trip away from Noah to figure out how to go about things moving forward. I don’t know what the fuck to do, but I have to figure it out. Too much is riding on my decisions.

Noah takes my chin between his fingers and presses a kiss to my lips. “I’ve got you, kitten. Everything is going to be okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.” And I mean that. Mean it with my whole heart. “I should go.”

He nods, smooths my flyway’s back then slides my glasses on. “I’ll text you all the info you’ll need. Call me when you land. Clover and I will be right behind you, okay?”

“Okay.” I bite my lip so I don’t start sobbing. “Tell her I’m sorry I didn’t pick her up. And tell her I love her so much.”

Noah kisses me again. “I will, baby. We’ll FaceTime when you’re settled tonight.”

I hug him one more time, kiss him again and fight the urge to lose my shit because this feels like more than talk to you later. This feels like goodbye .