Haven Bound

24. Chelsea

24

Chelsea

At some point during Austin’s confession, I’d gotten lost in the pain and disgust that laced his words. My heart ached with every word. I realize that leaving me seven years ago was his attempt at keeping me safe. He either didn’t want to drag me into that lifestyle with him or he thought I couldn’t handle the darkness that it would entail. What he didn’t know was how dark and tortured my life had already been. He didn’t see that he was my light source and that I would’ve gone anywhere with him by my side.

The shadows that clouded his eyes and weighed heavy on his shoulders became more evident with each piece of his story. His quick breaths, the inability to focus, and the way his voice had softened with each word were all indicators that his mind was somewhere else. Without giving it a second thought, I was pulling him into a hug with my arms around his neck, letting my body settle against his.

I remember reading once that being hugged can have a calming effect. As silly as it sounds, hugs can reduce stress and lower your heart rate, which then lessens the feeling of anxiety. In the same way that the extra pressure from a weighted blanket or pillow helps me to feel calm and grounded, I hoped that hugging Austin would help ground him too .

I've never been the type to crave any kind of physical contact. It's most certainly not one of my so-called love languages. However, I wasn’t prepared for the way it would feel to be back in his arms like this, to inhale his citrus and sandalwood scent and feel like I’m finally home.

“Chelsea,” he rasps. His large hands trail down my back and settle on my hips as he gently pulls free from the embrace. His eyes have taken on the color of a storming sea, and I so desperately want to get lost in the waves. “I’m not a good person. I’ve ki—”

I reach up and press my fingers to his lips to quiet him. “You save people, Austin.” His eyes fall shut, his breath shuddering as my words settle within him. “I can’t even imagine how many lives you’ve saved over the past seven years or how many more you will save in the years to come. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the best person, Austin.”

His lips are crashing against mine like waves against the shore before I can utter another word. His hands grip my waist tightly as he pulls my body against his. I can feel the hard evidence of his arousal pressing against the zipper of his jeans. I’ve never been as frustrated by layers of clothing as I am right now.

I slide one hand up the back of his neck and rake my fingernails over his scalp, tugging on his hair and gripping the front of his shirt with the other hand as though he’ll disappear if I don’t hang on to him. A deep groan rumbles from his chest as he moves a hand to my neck, his thumb caressing my jaw as his fingers brush against the wet strands of my hair. He tilts my head and swipes his tongue across the seam of my lips, requesting access.

Feeling his tongue glide against mine sends a fire blazing through my veins, and I can't stop the whimper that escapes me. The groan he released a moment ago has me wanting to find out what other sounds I can cause. I’ve never wanted anything as desperately as I want him. Raking my nails over his scalp once more, I give a gentle tug to the hair at the back of his head before trailing my hands down his back until they rest at his belt.

“Fuck, Sunflower,” He rasps as he slides his hand from my waist down to my ass, gripping it and pulling me impossibly closer. “I’ve been dreaming of what it would be like to kiss you again for years. You have no idea how many nights I spent wishing you were next to me.”

My mind is suddenly filled with visions of Austin laying in bed alone at night, stroking himself while memories and fantasies of me flood his mind.

“Did you…” I can feel my cheeks heating at the words that I fail to speak.

“Did I… what?” A knowing smirk pulls at his lips. Like he knows exactly what I want to ask but he refuses to answer without me first voicing the question.

My gaze falls to his lips as I slowly drag my teeth over my bottom lip.

Just say the words, Chelsea.

“How many times have you… gotten off while thinking of me?” I ask, looking back up to meet his eyes once the words are spoken.

I watch as he drags his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes darkening as he leans in and says, “Over the years as we’ve been apart, every single time that I gave in to that desire, it was to thoughts of you.” His deep voice sends a pulsing heat to my core. My hands tighten at his waist.

“Sometimes,” he continues, his hand at the back of my neck, grabbing my hair into his fist and tugging my head back in a gentle pull. “I’d imagine you naked and on your knees in front of me, your mouthwatering curves on display as you sucked me deep into your throat.”

His other hand moves along the waistband of my shorts, teasing just beneath the fabric. “Sometimes, I’d imagine you straddling my hips as you rode my cock.”

He kisses the area just below my ear and then slowly begins to trail his lips along my jaw. He moves his hands to mine, guiding them beneath the fabric of his t-shirt. A shiver runs down my spine at the feeling of his skin beneath my fingertips.

Taking a small step back, our eyes lock on each other for a moment. The desire coursing between us intensifies.

I need this.

I need him.

Holding his gaze, I sit down on the edge of the bed and scoot back, giving him room to follow me.

Austin slowly begins to unbutton his maroon dress shirt, flicking the buttons open one by one. His storm-filled blue eyes remain locked on mine. He pulls his arms free and lets the shirt drop to the ground at his feet. Seeing his bare chest in front of me, I take a moment to admire his body and the light dusting of dark hair that runs across his chest and from just below his navel to beneath the waistband of his black pants.

He leans forward and braces his hands on the bed, still standing at the edge of it as his gaze rakes over my body. Despite the heat pooling between my legs, I can’t help but squirm beneath his gaze.

He’s standing there looking like some kind of god, and I find myself feeling suddenly vulnerable. Grabbing at the shirt that I’m wearing, I pull the fabric away from my stomach, hoping my body won’t be as on display if he can’t see the way the material fits against my belly.

The last person that I was intimate with was Jason, and he always made it a point to make some hurtful comment about my body. I can’t recall a single time that I was ever fully naked in front of him, always opting to keep my shirt on during sex like it would provide a layer of protection against his damaging words.

But Austin isn’t Jason.

And he certainly isn’t looking at me like he hates my body.

He’s looking at me like he wants to devour me.

“Don’t do that.” His voice releases in a throaty growl as he slowly crawls onto the bed towards me. “Don’t you fucking dare hide your body from me,” he says, slowly trailing gentle kisses up my legs, starting from my ankles and working his way up until he reaches the inside of my thighs.

I’ve never been as turned on as I am right now, and he hasn’t even properly touched me yet. We’ve never seen each other without clothing, not like this. Before, whenever we kissed or touched, it was always beneath the layers of our clothes. Or we were so rushed that we didn’t have time to truly explore one another. We didn’t get much time alone, and even though we took advantage of every chance we had, there was always the fear of being caught.

There was always something holding him back.

Now I know what that something was, and it’s no longer a factor.

Austin sits back on his heels, his hands landing on my thighs while his deep blue eyes lock on mine. My heart is beating insanely fast, and I can’t stand to just lie here beneath him when I should be touching him instead.

Sitting up, I reach for him and wrap my hand around the back of his neck like I had before, pulling him towards me until our lips press together. Needing more of him, I nip at his lower lip and pull him over me. I move to lie flat on my back, allowing his hips to wedge between my legs.

Even with the layers of fabric between us, I can still feel him, hard and thick, resting between my thighs. I don’t have it in me to be embarrassed by the lust-filled whimper that falls from my lips at the feeling of his hips grinding down against me.

I want him to touch me.

I need him to touch me.

He’s supporting himself on his forearms on either side of my shoulders as he gazes down at me. “Please let me see you, Sunflower,” he rasps as he shifts his body to lay beside me, his hand landing on my hip and pulling me until I’m on my side facing him. His fingers begin to trace along the waistband of my shorts. “You’re wearing far too much clothing for me to worship you the way you deserve.”

I nod and tug my bottom lip between my teeth as his fingers curl beneath the waistband and pull the shorts from my legs. He tosses them to the ground before his hand lands back on my hip. His fingers return to tracing along my skin, dipping beneath the waistband of my black cotton underwear, his eyes meeting mine. “Please tell me that I can touch you, baby. I’ve waited so long to feel your body beneath mine. I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

Two different answers are caught on the tip of my tongue. Instead of giving the one fueled by insecurity a chance to escape, I lay my hand against his chest and gradually graze my fingertips over the small patch of hair and down over the taut muscles of his abdomen. I trail them along his belt buckle and the sleek edge of his black pants that are still covering his strong legs.

“Chelsea…” he rasps as I begin to undo the leather belt around his waist, sliding the end free from the buckle.

I lean in to close the space between us, pressing my lips to his. He groans and gives in to the kiss as he grinds his hips against mine, his arm moving to wrap around my lower back, pulling me closer.

“Touch me,” I whisper against his lips, unbuttoning his dress pants and carefully working the zipper down. His rigid length is threatening to break free from his dark gray boxer briefs. I run my hand over him, my fingertips grazing over the tip of his cock through the fabric barrier.

Austin’s suddenly gripping my hips and guiding me down onto my back. I can feel his erection pressing against my thigh, but all I can focus on in this moment is his fingers trailing down to my core. A deep growl escapes him when his fingers trace over the damp fabric.

“Fuck, baby you’re already so wet for me.”

Words are impossible to form right now, so I press my hips down to grind against his hand. “Please, Austin,” I say breathlessly. He slides off the side of the bed. I whimper, worried that he’s suddenly changed his mind about me.

That worry quickly vanishes as I watch him pull out his phone and set it on the nightstand beside the bed. He slides the black fitted dress pants off his hips, his eyes trailing over my body. The boxer briefs he’s wearing are hugging his strong thighs perfectly while his long, thick cock strains against the fabric.

Besides finding me on the shower floor in the middle of a panic attack, Austin’s never seen me completely bare and exposed to him. I want to be vulnerable with him. I want to show him all of me, but there’s a dark voice inside of my head telling me that, if I do, he won’t like what he sees, and I know that I couldn’t possibly survive losing him again.

Austin walks around to the foot of the bed and slowly crawls back over me. His body lowers to the bed as he kisses and nips at the inside of my thighs, his hands moving up to my hips so that his fingers can curl beneath the waistband of my underwear. He looks up at me, requesting permission with his gaze. I give a nod of approval, and he slowly begins to pull the fabric down over my thick thighs before tossing them over his shoulder.

I can feel my face heating, a blush coating my chest and cheeks as he hums his approval of my pussy on display for him. I don’t know if he has any expectations, but I’m not shaved bare.

“You’re fucking gorgeous, Sunflower. Can I taste you?” His words cause a rush of liquid heat between my thighs. Reaching for him, I run my fingers through his dark brown hair, my nails scraping over his scalp as I nod. I release a heavy breath at the first contact of his tongue against my clit, my entire body shuddering from the sensation.

I can’t believe this is finally happening. I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to take this step with Austin. Now that we’re here, there’s still a part of me that’s worried that when I finally take off this t-shirt, my last bit of armor, he won’t like what he sees.

He doesn’t give me much time to dwell on my thoughts .

His tongue circles my clit before swiping down to my entrance and back up. A groan rumbles from his chest as he slowly begins to slide two long fingers inside of me. I could so easily be embarrassed by the sound of just how wet I am that follows the pumping of his fingers. But the groans and growls escaping him tell me that he’s enjoying this just as much as I am.

“Austin,” I moan when his fingers curl inside of me, pressing against that spot that has my toes curling and my orgasm rushing to the surface. His tongue continues to circle and flick at my clit, the feeling almost too much for me to withstand. With my fingers still buried in his tousled hair, I make a fist and tug while raising my hips to grind against his mouth.

“Fuck yeah. Give it to me, baby,” he growls, my back arching as his words send me over the edge. Stars burst behind my eyes, a pleasure like I’ve never known before coursing through me and causing my body to tremble beneath him. He’s holding one of my thighs down as he licks up my release, his tongue dipping into my core and then moving up to swirl around my overly sensitive clit before he climbs up the bed to lay beside me.

Austin pulls me into his arms, my body still trembling with aftershocks of euphoria as he slides a hand to the back of my neck and guides my lips to his in a tender kiss.