Heart of Christmas (Curiosity Bay #4)

10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

MacGregor

That would explain why she never wanted to see, hear, or speak to me again. This scenario had to qualify as the worst ever. And from poor Audrey’s perspective, it all seemed plausible. There were a lot of creeps out there in the dating world, and finding a pile of cash and no sign of the guy you just slept with would toy with even the most sane and confident of women, which Audrey truly was.

I mixed the pasta with vegetables, slid a heaping serving on both plates, and put a chicken thigh on top of each pile of pasta.

Audrey walked into the kitchen as I held a plate in each hand. She smiled at me and sniffed.

“It smells amazing.”

“Thanks. Hope it tastes good. Where should I put the plates?”

She pointed at the table near the sliding glass door. “We can just slide the Christmas catalogs over and eat there.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Would you like some wine?” she asked.

“Since I’m definitely not heading anywhere tonight, I’d love a glass.”

“Or a bottle,” she hummed. “We’ll do red since we’re having dark meat, and I don’t have to open the fridge again.”

“Great. Anything I can do?”

She grinned at me and shook her head. “You’ve done more than enough, especially considering how cantankerous I was with you.”

“Cantankerous?” I teased. “Weren’t you the woman getting upset with me for calling the vegetables crudités at the wedding?”

She put two glasses down and opened the bottle of wine. “You could have announced the solution for world peace that night, and I still would have found something wrong.”

“And now?”

“I’d at least hear you out.” Audrey winked at me, and I saw the playfulness I’d been drawn to so many years ago.

She poured the red wine into the glasses and brought them over, sitting across from me.

“It was really sweet of you to make dinner in the dark.” She eyed me before twirling linguine around her fork.

I smiled and nodded. “It was lovely of you not to let me freeze to death in my rental car.”

“What can I say?” She chuckled and closed her eyes. “This dinner is fantastic.”

“Only because you didn’t have to make it,” I pointed out.

“Whatever the reason. It’s sensational.” She took another bite, and I did my best to look away.

Audrey always captivated me, and having her sit across from me after all these years of wondering why she’d vanished into thin air was unbelievable.

She might not have told anyone about me, but I told everyone I knew about her. Tyler even knew about her. I’d never mentioned her name, and to think he’d been in love with Mae for so long, he would have known immediately if I had said something as simple as Evans or Curiosity Bay .

It was such a small world. We’d had so many moments when our lives could have intersected again, yet we didn’t.

“You mentioned dating?” I asked, taking a sip of wine.

She snorted, and her hand flew up to her mouth. “Sorry. I’m not usually a snorter.”

I laughed, and she rolled her eyes.

I knew better. She’d snorted several times the first night we met.

Audrey threw her hands in the air. “Geez. I don’t know why the men don’t fall over themselves to be with me. I can snort, be ornery, and even save unsuspecting men from freezing to death.” She grinned and twirled more linguine.

“Audrey, you’re sensational. Had we spent any more time together, I would have spent my days telling you that.” I shrugged, keeping my eyes focused on her. It didn’t matter that she was mostly shadows with only the candles’ flickers to see by. Being with her after all these years felt surreal. “Any guy would have been lucky to go on a date with you.”

“Dating hasn’t exactly been my area of expertise. I try. Oh, I’ve tried, but I’ve never met someone who…” She stopped talking and glanced at her plate.

“Who what?”

Audrey let out a deep sigh. “This will sound so pathetic, and it’s the holidays. I don’t feel like sounding pathetic this time of year.”

My chest tightened as I took her in. She looked so vulnerable, with a teasing expression behind her gaze.

“You could never sound pathetic.”

She twisted her full lips into a playful pout. “I don’t know how much I want to share tonight. It would be nice to wake up with at least a little dignity.”

I chuckled and took a bit of linguine.

“Dating on the island is impossible.” She sat back in her chair, resting her hand on her stomach. “So, I find myself in Seattle quite a lot, and come to find out, it’s pretty much impossible there, too.”

I leaned forward, propping my elbows on the table as my hands steepled together. Her eyes stayed on mine, and I felt that familiar charge run through us as I swallowed down what I truly wanted to say.

“Why do you think that is?” I asked, sounding gruffer than I intended.

She shrugged and stood. “Too high of expectations? I don’t know. There are just no real connections with the guys I’ve met. Want more wine?”

“I’d love some.”

She entered the kitchen, navigated the darkness, and reached for the bottle.

Audrey poured some into my glass and then hers before she took her seat. “What about you?”

“Living in the middle of nowhere hasn’t exactly done wonders for my dating life.” I didn’t want to add that I’d been hung up on her all these years.

It wasn’t that I hadn’t dated. I certainly had, and I realized I couldn’t find anyone who made me feel like Audrey did.

Even when she was giving me hell, I loved every damn second of it.

“Please. You’re like the complete package.” She flashed a coy grin. “I’m sure all you have to do is show up at one of those cowboy bars, and then all the women flock to you.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “Cowboy bars?”

“Or whatever they have in Wyoming.”

I didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds as she took a sip of wine. “Maybe I can convince you to come out one day and meet Jasper.”

She nearly spat out her wine as her eyes widened. Audrey set her glass down and stared at me.

“Did I say something completely crazy?” I asked wryly.

“Not crazy. Just unlikely.” She pressed her lips together and stared at her wine glass.

“Even after finding out the truth?” I laughed, holding up my wine glass. “That I’m not a scoundrel, just an idiot?”

Her eyes found mine, and she nodded. “I want to believe it’s as simple as that.”

“The idiot part or…?”

She laughed.

“Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” I asked, feeling a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Even the truth didn’t change Audrey’s mind.

She straightened in her chair and kept her gaze locked on mine. The force behind her gaze would have weakened my knees had I been standing.

“MacGregor, I don’t think my heart can take that risk again. I know what happened to me after only one night together. Logically, it makes no sense. No one should feel hooked from one night, even if it’s nine hours straight and a physical attraction that is…” She didn’t bother finishing her sentence. “I don’t think I could handle it. Plain and simple. You’re too much for me.”

A sharp pain ran through my chest. Her words knifed me with such a striking blow that I had to catch my breath.

I let out a gust of air from my lips as if a fastball had landed in my gut.

“What is it that those other men can’t give you, Audrey?” I licked my lips, waiting for her reply.

She looked thoughtful for a few seconds, staring at the fireplace before bringing her gaze to me.

“Another glass of wine, and I might tell you.” She winked at me, and my entire body rose to the challenge.

“Deal.” I stood quickly, and she laughed as I walked through the dark kitchen. There wasn’t much left in this bottle, but I brought it over and poured the last few drops into her glass.

“You changed my life,” I said, sitting down.

“Now or then?”

I smiled and nodded. “Both, but I was referring to back then. You set the bar pretty damn high.”

Her brows raised coyly. “From one night?”

My knee bobbed up and down as I watched her take another sip of wine. “You know that was no ordinary night. It takes a million dates to go as deep as we went, and I still haven’t found that connection again.”

She looked surprised. “Not once?”

I shook my head. “Not even close.”

The fireplace needed tending, so I walked over, bent down, and shifted the logs before placing another one on top.

“It’s starting to get chilly when you’re not standing near the fireplace.” I glanced over at her, happily drinking her wine.

“It is. I think I might bring my wine and sit on the couch.”

“Good plan.” I grinned, watching her wander to the family room and sit at the end closest to the fireplace.

Everything Audrey did captivated me. It had always been that way. She had this way about her that pulled me in and made me want to know every thought that floated through her mind. There was no doubt that I’d been caught off guard by the intensity of those feelings so many years ago, but what was even more startling was how they never diminished.

“No one has ever made me feel as heard as you did,” she said, looking at me.

When my eyes met hers, I saw a lot of emotion behind them. I could see her struggling with all those years of disappointment and disgust for me merging with something unexpected.

I didn’t know if being so close to the holidays hurt or helped my chances. The holidays were always filled with nostalgia and reminiscing. Maybe that was the only thing binding us together tonight. She was able to skate over all the pain and anguish I’d caused because it was Christmas.

“Why did that make you go so quiet?” she asked softly.

I smiled and shook my head. “Just like before. You could read my mind.”

“Tell me,” she pressed.

“I was just wondering if feeling this connected with you again is merely because you’re in a more forgiving mood because Christmas is coming.”

She laughed, and the melodious sound filled the room. “You think I’m more inclined to forgive you because Santa is coming later this month?”

I chuckled, taking a seat across from her. “It occurred to me.”

“I never expected to have you sitting here in my family room. Never, ever. Yet, here you are.”

“Is it so bad?”

She flashed a wry grin. “Could be worse.

“It’s funny how things have worked out, though. Don’t you think?”

“Possibly.”

“First, your sister gets married to one of my good friends, who just so happens to invite me to the wedding. I figure things out pretty quickly when I see the last name of who he’s marrying. I come out to support him and make amends with you. I get stuck on the island in a freak snowstorm.”

“Then I take pity on the poor guy who broke my heart so many years ago.” The wry grin slipped off her face. “And here we are.”

“I’m sorry I broke your heart.”

“The weird thing is that I would do it all over again.” She pulled up the blanket around her. “I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted in a relationship.” Audrey took another sip of wine.

“Which was?” I prompted.

“I wanted what we shared that night. I wanted to feel that again.”

“Have you?” My breath caught in my throat as her eyes connected with mine. “Have you felt it since that night together?”

Audrey slowly shook her head. “No. I’ve never felt it since.”