Heir of Stardust and Secrets (Mythic Spark #1)

50. Shattered Ignorance

Chapter 50

Shattered Ignorance

A fter resting for two more days, Tarrin and I decided to make our way south, back toward the palace.

About an hour in, I asked, “How long is it going to take us?”

Tarrin stopped and assessed me. “It would take me about a full day if I were on my own, but with the state you’re in, I’d say three. Maybe four,” he amended as he looked more closely at me.

“I’m not that slow,” I groused.

“Ny, you still have extensive injuries. I’m surprised you haven’t asked if we could stop already, if I’m honest. We’ll go at a pace your body can handle. I don’t care if it takes a week, as long as we get there.”

“Fine,” I said, my tone sharper than intended.

He raised a questioning brow.

I sighed. “Sorry. I’m…I’m just exhausted, Tarrin.” If my body weren’t already taxed, I would have cried at the admission—emptiness filled me instead.

“I know,” he soothed and pulled me into his side, making sure to mind my injuries—both knowing I’d been exhausted for much longer than this past week.

Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right.

I repeated the words in my head as I focused on the forest floor just in front of my steps. I’d noticed a while back that I’d somehow gotten off tempo, and my right foot went forward as I thought left , while my left foot went forward as I thought right . Correcting it would take too much effort, so I continued letting the off-kilter chant move me forward.

We were now on our fourth day of traveling, and I’d long since given up thinking beyond basic needs, or talking. I only focused on the chant and my aching feet. I was poorly dressed for the woods, and the bottom of my skirt was tattered by the first nightfall. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been afforded the rest and nourishment required to heal, and my bruises felt like angry welts, but the ache paled in comparison to my blistering feet.

I’d silently cursed my powers for throwing us so far without providing appropriate provisions. Then again, the spark had probably saved my life even though I’d recklessly given her up again, so I figured we were even. Too afraid of what I’d find, I hadn’t dared reach for my powers since the incident.

Right. Left. Right. Left. The hard, uneven, pine-needle-covered surface of the forest gave way to a soft, comfy, almost padded texture that felt like divinity itself beneath my aching soles, and I hoped it would last for a while.

Left. Right. Left. Ri— A gush of air left me as I was forced to halt, avoiding a stilled Tarrin. I lifted my gaze to find him facing me with a stoic expression.

“Why are we stopping?” I asked, my voice weak.

His forehead crinkled, and he let out a small sound, as if sad for me. “Ny, we’re here.”

No, that couldn’t be. I blinked, forcing myself to take in my surroundings through the haze, but it was like trying to see clearly underwater. I focused on what lay just beyond my aching feet. Grass, vibrant and tended. The gardens. The grounds.

We’d made it.

A guttural sob of relief escaped me as my knees buckled, throwing me forward. Tarrin was ready, most likely waiting for me to collapse. He caught me, then shifted my body so he could fully cradle me in his arms.

Nestled in his protective embrace, he walked us forward. Panic hit me as I realized what we were walking toward. Here meant Thaddeus.

I grabbed at Tarrin’s shirt frantically. He halted and looked down at me, startled. “I can’t see him. Please, Tarrin. Not yet.”

“I know,” he said, jaw set, and continued to walk across the familiar grounds.

Someone shouted from a distance, but I couldn’t tell who it was. Tarrin tensed, and I knew Thaddeus had spotted us.

“Nevander and Thaddeus are coming,” Tarrin informed me, his words even. I cowered into him. “You’re okay, Ny. I’ve got you.”

Nevander reached us first, and Tarrin carefully transferred me to his arms. “Take her to her room and get Ava. Nobody else goes in unless I say so.” I couldn’t see the look Nevander gave him, but Tarrin stopped and squared his shoulders. “Take her. Now,” he ordered, and it was the first time I’d ever heard Tarrin wield the commanding voice of Thaddeus’ second.

Nevander’s grip was firm, his body warmer than Tarrin’s had been.

Tarrin strode off, heading for Thaddeus. Nevander kept his pace slow as he carried me toward the palace while attempting to observe what was about to happen. His face taut, he glanced down at me. I must have been a sight, as anger flashed in his eyes, but he blinked it away quickly before focusing again on the scene about to unfold. I did the same.

Tarrin didn’t slow his long gait as he approached Thaddeus. Without a hint of what he was about to do, Tarrin decked the king squarely in the jaw, stopping him dead in his tracks. I jolted in surprise, and Nevander’s grip tightened on me as he tensed. Tarrin threw another blow, and it struck true, Thaddeus still stunned from the first hit.

Nevander paused as we came up next to them.

“Get her inside. Now,” Tarrin barked, breathing heavily and readying himself for the next blow.

Nevander did as ordered, and as we walked away, an all-out brawl broke out between the two men. We turned to go up the stairs, and Nevander’s body blocked my view of what happened next.

Ava met us at the threshold, gasping when she saw me. “By the stars!” Her glare was hard. Anger visibly bubbled within her, and she directed every bit of it at Nevander as she said, “What have the lot of you done to the poor girl this time?”

Without allowing him to answer, she pivoted in the opposite direction, and with seething rage, her footsteps echoed down the long corridor.

“In here,” Ava barked, and I could already smell the aroma of citrus in the air. “Place her in the bath.”

Nevander halted as if unsure if I should be deposited into a filled tub fully clothed. Ava narrowed her eyes at him, and he relented, gently releasing me into the water. The warm, citrusy embrace enveloped me. I sank deep and tilted my head back, letting the water carry my burdens.

“Out,” Ava ordered. “And don’t you dare let anyone in that door, you hear me?”

Ava’s body relaxed from holding a lifetime’s worth of fury to pure, loving kindness as she beheld me. It was the look I’d imagine a loving mother would give their child when they were injured or sick.

“Oh, you poor thing, Nyleeria. Here, child, let’s get you out of those clothes.”

Ava cut me out of my garments, gasping when she saw the dark-purple welts hidden beneath. Apparently, they hadn’t gotten any better over the past few days. I’d become accustomed to the omnipresent pain and hadn’t reacted as she’d gently maneuvered me to remove the sodden clothing from my body.

I sucked in a sharp breath and kicked out as she attempted to remove my bloodied sandals.

“I’m sorry, child, but I have to get these off. Stars, the wounds are deep. How long did you walk on them for?”

“Four days.”

Her features pinched together in disapproval, but she remained silent as she focused on the task at hand.

I gripped the sides of the tub, tears prickling my eyes as she peeled the straps away.

“I know,” she said. “Almost done.”

My screech filled the room, and the opposite leg kicked out as the last strap came away. Ava winced as if feeling the pain herself.

“All done. You did great,” she said, releasing my foot back into the water.

Ava had changed the water twice now and was finally washing my hair. I relaxed into her touch, focusing on the floral scent of the soap and the gentle fingers massaging my scalp.

“You can’t be in here,” Ava tsked at someone standing at the threshold.

I tensed, opening my eyes, then calmed when I heard Tarrin’s voice. “I need to see her.” He approached the tub and looked down at me. Luckily, I was fully covered in bubbles. I suspected Ava wouldn’t have allowed him anywhere near me if that weren’t the case.

He didn’t say a word, just stared into my eyes. His lip was split open, and he was sure to have a black eye by the same time tomorrow, but he looked okay. Thank the stars for that.

“Can you get me something for the pain?” I asked him. “I can’t… I can’t feel this anymore.”

His affliction deepened as he continued to take me in, and Ava looked between the two of us as if trying to understand what had happened .

After a few long moments, Tarrin nodded, then turned and walked away.

Shortly after, Tarrin returned and offered me a glass. I looked up at him, remembering the canteen I’d accepted from the king, and how it had cost me a week of my life.

“It’s just for pain,” he said, as if reading my mind. “But you will be groggy.”

I drank every drop, not registering the taste.

Warmth crawled through me as a welcome tingling sensation took the place of the pain. I let out a deep, reprieved sigh. My eyes grew heavy from the numbness that swept through me, and I lazily blinked up at him, smiling. He retrieved the glass, and his sad eyes met mine before he retreated.

“Lord Tarrin,” Ava called after him. Lord? How did I not know this sooner?

He reentered the bathroom. “Tarrin is fine, Ava.”

“Lord Tarrin,” she said, clearly ignoring his request, “you’ve drugged her. I’m not going to be able to lift her out of the tub on my own.”

“Oh… sorry.”

She waved off his apology. “I doubt she would have been much help anyway, but I do require your assistance.”

Tarrin hesitated, but as I blinked up at him, straining to keep my eyes open, he leaned down and pulled my naked body from the water. I tried to help but was blissfully limp.

Water splashed everywhere, soaking into his clothes and pooling on the tiled floor. His eyes held mine as he walked past the threshold of the lavatory, then gently deposited me on the bed. He pulled the covers over me, tucking me in, and the pillow hadn’t had the chance to soak up the water from my dripping-wet hair before I succumbed to the forces dragging me into the realm of dreams.

My sleep was fitful, if not fevered. Images accosted me like some sort of dam had burst. Some were clips of the horrors I’d witnessed, while others illustrated my mind finally putting together a pivotal piece of information—but fully understanding it was just out of reach.

One of the more intense dreams woke me up, and I could have sworn red sparks filled the room, but it was difficult to discern dreams from reality. I tried to stay in the land of the living to see if they were real, but exhaustion pulled me under.

Child of everything. Child of nothing , the familiar voice whispered to me, coaxing me from sleep. It’s time. It’s time. Daughter of all. Daughter of none. The voice now echoed, like more than one presence had called to me.

As if in a lucid dream, my body obeyed the whispered summons. Some segments of the journey were clear, while others were instantly forgotten, but each step took me closer to the palace room that’d witnessed generational power—the one where I’d destroyed the obelisk stone that had been brought there to protect me.

It’s time. It’s time , the voices chanted, getting quicker, louder, as I approached the doors.

As I stood in the center of the room, it felt both empty and full; the presence calling out to me filling every inch of the space.

“Why am I here?” I asked, the words echoing as if the room were a canyon.

You know why you’re here, child of stardust. Child of void . Open your eyes and see—see the truth. Some secrets have been told, but more have been withheld. You have the key, child of doors, child of locks, child of everything, child of nothing.

As if a veil had been lifted at the word key , I understood what the voice was telling me to do.

I’d learned something pivotal when Thaddeus had forced my powers to show him the map.

I held up my palms to the ceiling and called for the spark. I didn’t force her to show me what I wanted, like Thaddeus had—no, that wouldn’t work. Greater powers had already decided what I needed to learn. As I leaned into the part of me that knew what to do, the air around me stilled as if whatever whispered in my ears was holding their breath, waiting to see what would happen.

A heartbeat later, I was thrown into the scene as if I were there.

I recognized it instantly. Nevander carried me, while Tarrin readied for the blow that hit Thaddeus square on. I saw myself then. Frail. Broken. Injured. I could have wept for the pain I knew she held but hadn’t begun to feel.

The scene played out, and within seconds, Nevander disappeared with me through the doorway, following Ava.

“You son of a bitch,” Tarrin’s voice raged toward Thaddeus. Anger, hurt, and exhaustion ravaged his face as he threw everything he had into the next blow, not caring about his footing. His movements were reckless, and Tarrin’s blind fury would get him into trouble if he didn’t calm down.

The unbridled swing connected with Thaddeus’ block, both men now panting.

“You tried to kill me,” Tarrin yelled, throwing quick jabs toward Thaddeus’ ribs—one to accompany each word.

Thaddeus could have used a spell but didn’t; instead, he defended himself and took what Tarrin threw at him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing. It was too much power. I’m sorry,” Thaddeus pled.

Tarrin wasn’t interested in an apology. There were no words that could break through until his anger was spent. Thaddeus realized it too. He dodged Tarrin’s right hook and connected with his left—the movement was so swift, I didn’t fault Tarrin for not seeing it. I flinched at the sound, now knowing where his black eye had come from.

Blow for blow, they continued on for longer than Tarrin should’ve been able to muster. We hadn’t slept or eaten properly in almost a week.

The fighting got sloppy until both men were spent, merely hugging each other in what looked like a stalemate. I’d somehow missed how Tarrin got a bloody lip. It could have been the elbow he’d taken from Thaddeus, but I wasn’t at the right angle to see.

Thaddeus looked a little better than Tarrin, but not by much. Tarrin mustered the energy to push Thaddeus back.

“You should have told her,” Tarrin yelled, an arm outstretched as he pointed a finger at Thaddeus in accusation.

“You told her?” Shock and something like fear shot through Thaddeus.

“Not about that. I’m bound, and you fucken know it,” Tarrin spat.

“I wasn’t sure if the binding would still work now that we’re separated.” Thaddeus’ words were calm. Too calm. He thought for a moment, then added, “She knows about the connection, then.” It wasn’t a question, but Tarrin nodded in confirmation anyway. “But not about her parents? Her brother and sister?”

The world spun around me, and I thought I’d lose my footing.

No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no. This couldn’t be happening.

“You should have never done it, Thaddeus. There was no need to have the mercenaries slaughter her parents like that. Or kidnap the twins. You could have just asked her, told her. She would have helped. She’s made of something else. She could have handled it.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and if it were possible to hyperventilate in a vision, I would have.

My mind slipped to the day I’d met Thaddeus. What had I missed? How had I not seen this?

But they had told me that the fae had murdered my family and kidnapped my siblings. I ran through every conversation. No—they hadn’t. In fact, when I’d suggested Amos was behind it, they’d reacted as if they didn’t believe me. And, of course, they didn’t…because they already knew the truth. They’d never once lied to me about my siblings, but they had never told the truth either. No wonder we’d always put off searching for them. Never went after them. Why he had me focus on wielding my powers. To serve him. What he needed .

I’ll do anything to protect my people, even if it makes me a monster. Thaddeus’ admission echoed in my mind. How had I been so stupid? So blind?

Thaddeus’ words pulled me back into the vision. “You don’t think I know that?” he spat. “You don’t think I regret it when she’s asleep in my arms? Every time she gives me that look, the one that makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world? When she moans my name and draws pleasure from me. Of course you fucken do. Until a few days ago, you felt it all too. I wasn’t planning on falling in love with her. She was never part of the plan, and now, with Wymond sniffing around… What the fuck was I supposed to do, Tarrin? I sure as hell can’t tell her now.”

“She might understand. You made the bargain with Wymond to protect her, keep her alive. She’ll forgive you for that.”

“Don’t be naive, Tarrin. You know better. I had the twins in stasis long before Wymond came along. You think she’ll forgive me for that? For having her parents killed? I had to enchant that damn necklace of hers just to keep her grief at bay, to get her to eat, to stop her from asking so many damned questions, to keep her from prying for details about her brother and sister.” I reached for the necklace, but it wasn’t around my neck. Either Ava hadn’t put it back on me, or it wasn’t present in this vision.

So, the necklace was the reason for all of it. Why page after page I’d burned through those two days were filled with guilt and shame at my lack of grief, of me not pushing harder to find Cassy and Leighton.

“So, now what? We just keep lying to her?”

“We’ve technically never lied to Nyleeria,” Thaddeus said, his voice calm.

“Don’t get pedantic with me.” I had to agree with Tarrin on this one; the technicality didn’t change a thing.

“I had thought about releasing the twins. They’d be none the wiser, but when we got back from the Summer Court and Wymond paid me a visit…” Anguish crossed Thaddeus’ features. “He knows sh e has the spark. It was her or them. You know this, Tarrin. I thought I’d be able to wield Nyleeria’s powers and get us out of this fucken mes?—”

“You’re never tapping into those powers again, you hear me?”

I waited for Thaddeus to push back, but he stayed silent.

Tarrin opened his mouth, but the vision faded, and I was back in the octagonal training room.

What will you do with the truth, child of everything, child of nothing?

I didn’t allow myself to feel what I’d just learned. Couldn’t afford to.

Three things were certain: One, I had to get out of there. Two, I needed to return to the cave to get my weapons. Three, nothing and no one could stop me from saving what remained of my family.

I looked down to find the pendant dangling from my neck as always. I ripped it off and let the chain fall to the ground. Holding the diamond in my fist, I sent every rage-filled thought and raw power its way. I opened my hand and tilted it, watching as the fine pink dust poured off the side of my palm and fluttered down to the ground, slowly covering the delicate chain. Instantly, the leaden cloak of grief nestled itself back on my shoulders.

I thought through what I needed to get to the Autumn Court, where Wymond was holding Cassy and Leighton. When I was done making my mental list, my powers stirred in a way I’d never felt before, and a rucksack appeared on the ground. A wave of urgency hit me, and I didn’t bother to check its contents, trusting that whatever I needed was in there. Atop was a set of riding gear similar to what I’d worn my first day here. Changing quickly, I sheathed my dagger and slid the rucksack on.

I didn’t look back as I quietly closed the veranda doors behind me.