Heir of Stardust and Secrets (Mythic Spark #1)

51. Ashes

Chapter 51

Ashes

A plan crystallized with stark clarity: return to the cave for my weapons, then hasten to the Autumn Court. I’d work out the finer points on the fly. Securing a horse was paramount—I had to be swift to slip beyond Thaddeus’s reach before he noticed my absence. There’s no chance he’d let his precious spark slip through his fingers without a fight.

The smell of fresh hay filled my senses as I approached the stables. Voices sounded, and I hoped they were groomsmen. I looked up at the star-speckled sky, double-checking the time—dawn was at least two hours off. Why were they here so early? Maybe Thaddeus planned on leaving at first light, which didn’t give me much of a head start. Was it stupid to go back to my homeland? It was the obvious choice. Surely, with three of them, at least one would travel north to retrieve me.

Damn it. How did I get myself into this situation?

I shook away the thought; there was no room for hesitation. It would cost me, and it would cost Cassy and Leighton. My heart ached thinking about them, making it hard to breathe—gods, that necklace had worked too well at quelling my emotions .

Straightened and with my shoulders back, I strode into the barn like I owned the place, mirroring the confident swagger I’d been surrounded by lately.

“Mistress?” one of the stable hands asked, surprised as the warm air of his breaths billowed before him. The other jolted up, inclining his head. They couldn’t have been any older than me. Stars, they looked young. I wondered if I still held such youth. I doubted that was possible, surely mine had been cleaved from me by now.

“King Thaddeus would like me to ride immediately. Please prepare Luca for the day’s journey,” I ordered in the most authoritative tone I could muster. I held my breath, hoping it was enough.

They looked at each other with uncertainty, but I held my ground. Stealing a glance at me, the older of the two said, “Yes, mistress. Right away. Will Lord Tarrin be requiring another mount in Luca’s stead, mistress?”

“The king said he’d send updated orders on their requirements later,” I lied, trying to maintain the false sense of authority I’d tenuously created.

Within minutes, the massive, keen-eyed, speckled reddish-brown beauty was led by the younger groom, clopping toward me. Luca chuffed as if he were expecting someone else to be standing there. Thank the Mother he couldn’t talk, or he would have surely exposed me for the fraud I was. Maybe it had been reckless to ask for Luca, but he was the only horse I’d ridden here and trusted.

I looked Luca over. I’d need him prepped for a longer journey than they’d assumed.

“Please add his largest riding sack,” I said, giving no explanation or leaving room for negotiation. If there was anything I’d learned from this damn place, it was that you could get away with a lot more by offering less—the thought left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

They did as ordered, then gave me a hand up onto the massive horse.

I paused, feeling Luca’s bulk underneath, and an unexpected sadness filled me, knowing I’d never return, at least not on my own volition. Stars, this place could have held great happiness for me. It’s funny how things can change in an instant.

Pulling my jacket tight against the crisp morning that felt like autumn, I steadied myself, then turned the reins north.

Luca was a gem of a horse, and our connection was instant and deep. Knowing whose horse he was, I wondered if Tarrin’s protective fondness for me had somehow seeped into the majestic creature that carried me swiftly across the lands.

Bathed in the luminescence of the moons, I gave Luca his head when the trail permitted. He seemed to delight in the freedom, and in those wild, wind-filled, flying moments, I did too. Riding hard felt like the ground itself moved at our behest, as if the destination itself was pulled toward us, and despite his size, Luca’s grace was unparalleled.

As we picked our way through the thicket, the safer choice would have been to dismount, but Luca’s height made my small frame vulnerable. Instead, I ducked down and hugged his massive neck, trusting him to navigate the bramble. And while I wasn’t certain, I could’ve sworn he swelled with pride every time.

At the comfortable pace Thaddeus and I maintained when traveling to the lake, it would take about eight hours to arrive at the cabin. I’d hoped to cut that in half but had to be mindful of Luca. Luckily, he’d rested yesterday and was keeping pace, only dipping his head for water as we crossed the meandering creeks that littered these lands.

Luca reminded me of Tarrin—offering support without complaint or inquiry. And as his hooves sloshed through a creek, the anger and hurt I harbored for Tarrin softened. Taking stock of the vision’s revelations, what happened wasn’t on him—or Nevander, for that matter. This was on Thaddeus, and Thaddeus alone.

Whether I was numb from shock or had simply reached my threshold, I couldn't tell. But toward Thaddeus, there was nothing but a hollow emptiness, like a sieve too worn to retain anything at all .

Perhaps the bar I was forced to bend to was lowered one too many times, finally snapping me in two.

Rounding the familiar corner a few hours after dawn, my breath hitched, and I pulled up hard on Luca, stopping us dead in our tracks. He reared slightly and whinnied at the abrupt command.

I loosened the reins, heeling him gently forward.

A wayward tear slipped from its confines as we approached the rubble and ash where there’d once been a tiny two-bedroom cabin. Staring at the undiscernible mound, I wondered if the dilapidated building had gone ablaze on its own, or if this too was Thaddeus’ handiwork.

The symbolism wasn’t lost on me as I stared at the remnants of where I’d grown up. My life had just been set aflame, and I questioned if I’d be able to salvage any part of it, or if it would be reduced to rubble and ashes, forgotten and abandoned like the heap before me.

Oh gods. Mrs. E!

A primal bolt of terror crashed through me, and in an instant, we were galloping toward her estate, away from the dank wetness of charred wood.

I’d never spoken of Mrs. E while I was at the palace, but they’d known about my family well before I’d met them. What if they knew about her and how dear she was to me? And with what happened to my parents…

I kicked harder, urging Luca to run like the wind.

My heart pounded in my chest, and with each powerful push of Luca’s legs beneath me, my mind raced with images that illustrated my greatest fears of what I would find.

Luca and I arrived at the back of Mrs. E’s estate, which appeared to be untouched. That tiny fragment of relief was quickly chased away as the panic doubled back when I didn’t see her .

The soft, verdant ground churned under Luca’s powerful hooves as we approached the front of the house. An undignified sound escaped me from the overwhelming reassurance I felt as I caught sight of Mrs. E, hunched over tending her garden—something I’d witnessed a thousand times before.

She twisted toward the barreling horse, her eyes wide with fear. They widened further as she met my gaze. Luca slowed, but I didn’t wait for him to stop as I carelessly dismounted and made for her at an all-out sprint. One moment, I was sliding off Luca, and the next, Mrs. E’s tiny frame was in my arms, fresh earth and a hint of flowers tickling my senses.

I wept uncontrollably in her arms, and she in mine, as we held each other tight, both incapable of letting go.

She pulled away first, her hands wiping my tears as she looked up at me. The love and concern in her eyes spurred another fit of sobs, and she wrapped me in her arms.

When I’d settled, she released me, tracing each one of my features with her eyes as if incapable of believing I was truly there.

“You’re okay.” Disbelief was thick in her words as she looked at me as if I were a ghost.

“Yes,” I said, knowing she meant alive , not okay .

“I thought…” Her voice cracked, wrapping her arms around me.

It was my time to pull away and take her in. “I’m sorry I didn’t write,” I said, pushing through my grief and sadness as tears welled again. “I couldn’t risk it.”

How had I known back then to protect her, to keep this precious woman a secret? The word grateful fell short of what I felt toward whatever part of me that had never quite trusted them with all my truths.

“Where have you been?” she asked, wiping my cheeks free of the never-ending dampness. There was such genuine concern and love in her words, which felt foreign to my ears—now used to the falsehoods whispered to me in the king’s court .

Damn it. I couldn’t stay here. They’d surely begun searching for me—or, rather, their precious spark.

I gathered her delicate, soiled hands in mine. “Mrs. E, I don’t have much time. I wish more than anything that I could tell you everything, but I can’t.” My words were quick, bordering on frantic. A sense of urgency had settled in my marrow, and staying idle chaffed. “They’re going to come looking for me. Please, please,” I pled, shaking her hands firmly with each word, “I need you to leave. It’s not safe for you here.”

“Nyleeria,” she said with fondness that didn’t match the situation. Releasing my grip, she gave me a sad smile and caressed my cheek with her fingers. “I’m an old woman. Besides, I have nowhere to go.”

“Eithan,” I blurted. “Eithan and his family will take you in. I know where he is, and I know you can afford the passage. Please. Please, Mrs. E.” Tears of desperation escaped me as I begged, unable to endure the thought of her becoming their next victim.

She closed her eyes for a brief moment, the sun catching the beauty of the soft wrinkles etched into her snow-white skin. Her hazel eyes caught mine, and she let out a low sigh. “Okay, Nyleeria, okay,” she said in a whisper.

“Oh gods, thank you. Thank you,” I rasped, and I pulled her close.

I stepped away and grabbed Luca, who was lazily grazing in the tall grass.

“Luca,” I said gently as we approached. “This is Mrs. E, my favorite person on Lumnara.” Luca chuffed as if understanding her importance to me.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Luca,” she said, then reached into a deep pocket of her apron and slipped an apple from it, offering it to him. His ears perked forward, and his tail swished with long, exaggerated movements as he accepted the offering.

“He’s the most stunning creature,” Mrs. E said with deep reverence.

“He is. ”

“And much too large for you, Nyleeria,” she chided.

“Believe me, I know.”

I tied Luca up by the back patio, where he happily munched on Mrs. E’s roses.

“Luca!” I scalded him, and he gave me a huff.

“It’s fine,” Mrs. E said with a quiet sadness. Right, it didn’t matter if he ate her roses or not; she was leaving.

Guilt heavy and sharp settled over me, and my lip quivered as I faced her. I knew my voice would betray me, but I forced the words out anyway. “I am truly, deeply, sorry for all of this.”

“Oh, darling, you’ve done nothing wrong.” It was true. And her knowing as much was evidence of the love and understanding we had for each other, although it did little to assuage that burning guilt.

She squeezed my hand in reassurance and turned to go back into the house. Following her, I paused at the door, bending over to take off my boots.

“Don’t mind that now, darling,” she said.

Damn it, I kept forgetting. These things no longer mattered—she was leaving. And for the first time since we’d met, I stepped into her home wearing footwear and loathed the finality and change it instilled, wishing more than anything to feel the soles of my feet against the warm, rich mahogany flooring one more time.

“You’re not coming with me, are you?” she asked as she hunched over the sink to wash her hands.

“No.”

“And I don’t suppose there’s anything I could say to change your mind?”

“No. I’m sorry. It would defeat the purpose of you leaving.”

She dried her hands with a plush hand towel, then pulled the apron over her head, placing it on the peg out of habit. I winced, knowing it would stay there, abandoned. Facing me, she said, “This has something to do with your parents’ deaths and the twins missing, doesn’t it? ”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

“Is there nothing we can do, or offer, to whomever is after you to make them stop, Nyleeria?”

“No. I’m the only thing they want.”

Her brows furrowed, and I spoke before she could press further. “Please, Mrs. E. Don’t ask me to tell you more. I need you to trust me on this.”

“Oh, my sweet child, I do trust you. Truly, I do. But the sadness in your eyes, and the weight pressing you down… I’d do anything to free you from whatever it is you’ve found yourself shackled to.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “I promise that knowing you’re safe will help beyond measure.”

She held my gaze, and her jaw tightened in an expression I’d never seen before. Was it resolve, or was she hiding her true emotions from me? If I were in her shoes, would I be so quick to abandon my life—the home I’d shared with a loving husband until his dying day? The one I’d undoubtedly thought would witness my last breath. I’m not sure I would. Then again, I hadn’t been raised healthy and whole—perhaps her depth of trust was born from the stability and love she’d received throughout her life.

“Okay, then,” she said lightly, as if we were preparing to go to the market. “Let’s get that sack of Luca’s filled with supplies, and I’ll start readying to leave after.”

“Thank you,” I said and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

As Mrs. E packed, I borrowed a sun hat and clothing from her. I’d have to make my way into the village proper to negotiate for her safe passage, and I couldn’t afford eyewitness accounts of my presence when Thaddeus came looking. Unfortunately, I’d have to walk—Luca was too conspicuous.

At least there was one thing in our favor—timing. The ship would be docked at the harbor and readying to sail first thing tomorrow morning. A chill crept through me as I realized it would be the same ship and time that Eithan had left. Stars, how I hoped Mrs. E would find him without trouble.

As the port was about a day’s ride away by carriage, I’d have to make sure Mrs. E had a spot on the one that left today. I looked toward the sun, and even though it was still early, the day was fleeting. Each second that passed diminished the possibility that she’d make it in time.

I faced westward toward the village and began jogging.

After an hour and having paid far too much, I’d finally secured passage for Mrs. E to the port and on the boat.

As I entered the house, two medium-size suitcases sat by the front door. I relieved myself of the sun hat and extra clothing I’d borrowed, then knelt, untying my laces. Ready to heel off my boots, I halted, the sight of the luggage jolting me out of the habit. Clenching my jaw, I relaced the boots and walked through the long hallway to the back. The echoing of my steps sounded foreign to my ears as the last vestiges of my old life slipped away.

Mrs. E was at the back of the house, feeding Luca another apple. “You’ll spoil him,” I said.

His huff and her glare told me to butt out. I raised my hands in defeat, and they turned back to the juicy goodness she held out for him.

“The carriage will be here shortly,” I said. “Are you ready?”

She wiped her hand clean and looked longingly across the expanse of her estate, the mountain peaks crisp and clear in the background. Stars, I’d miss this place. Stepping up to her, I rested a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” I asked softly.

Her opposite hand crossed over, and she rested her delicate fingers over mine. Mrs. E took in a deep breath, floating our hands higher as her shoulders rose from the movement.

“I’d be lying if I said I won’t miss this place.” She twisted to face me, dropping our hands. “But it’s been deeply lonely without you and Eithan. I’m saddened and scared for you, Nyleeria. It must be a terrible thing that haunts you to refuse to come with me, to be reunited with Eithan, even if he’s married. Perhaps his family can become mine; I’ve always loved children.” Her eyes held a wistfulness, the kind that held both hope and fear.

“I wish that for you too,” I said, and sent a prayer to the stars for it to come true. Stars, to be able to join her, to leave this all behind, to see Eithan again. The ache at considering such a choice filled my chest with a heaviness that felt like a vice.

“And I for you, Nyleeria. May the gods look over you, may the Mother bless you, and may the stars guide you, child.” Her eyes filled, pooling over, and as we embraced, I couldn’t help but think her prayer would fall on deaf ears.

Luca pressed at Mrs. E’s side, nudging to get her attention, and most likely to request more sweets. We chuckled, eventually giving in to his prodding. His big eyes held an innocence that had been well practiced. I rolled my eyes, but Mrs. E pressed a hand to him.

“The suitcases at the front door,” I said, “is that all you’re taking?”

She continued to stroke his muzzle, Luca inclining his head toward her. “There’s very little in life that can’t be replaced, Nyleeria.” A lesson she’d learned, no doubt, from the loss of her late husband and, I supposed, more recently, me.

“Can you write a note to Eithan for me?” I asked.

She turned from Luca and knit her brows in question.

“They know my penmanship,” I explained. She gave me a grave look but made for the door.

Pen poised, she said, “What shall I write?”

E,

I hope this note finds you well in your strange new land. That life has waned as we prayed and as the stars had planned.

E, I need your help. Please take care of Mrs. E.

With love,

N

“That’s it?” she said, pen still poised.

“Yes. He’ll know it’s from me. I can’t risk saying more—for either of you. ”

We stepped through the doors and back onto the patio, then paused, taking a moment to be in each other’s company, possibly for the last time. No, if I were being honest with myself, this would be the last time I’d ever see the tiny woman who stood to my right. The one who loved me fiercely. Who’d taught me more with her kindness than with book. The one I owed everything to.

She was another loss I’d have to endure.

“You should go, Nyleeria.”

My voice choked, I said, “I can wait for the carriage to arrive.”

“No. You’ve already lingered too long.” She turned and faced me. “Thank you for coming back, for protecting me.”

“Thank you for loving me,” I choked out as unending tears ran down my cheeks.

“Having you in my life, loving you and being loved by you has been one of my greatest pleasures. Thank you for being you , Nyleeria.”

There was nothing more either of us could say, so we just held each other for a long moment, letting that final connection convey truths words could never express.

She released me and gently steered me toward Luca.

I mounted him from the steps and pulled away. Pausing, I etched every detail in my mind, sent out one last prayer for her, and lifted my hand in a final goodbye.

Tears blurred my vision as I shifted the reins to my right, and we made our way to retrieve my weapons.