Hello Quarterback (Hello #8)

52. Mia

52

MIA

I held my head high and kept my expression even as I walked away from Ford. As I walked away from the man I truly loved with all my heart.

Because underneath it all... I loved myself more.

I loved myself more than to allow myself to be someone's doormat, a first choice when things were going well but an inconvenience when things were going badly. I loved myself too much to accept anything less than the best.

Even if it meant I had to be alone.

I held it together until I got into the back seat of the car and Zeke took me away from the stadium. I closed the privacy screen between us. And there, alone in the back seat, I let myself cry. I took off the blazer that had once been a sign that I was his and tossed it onto the seat beside me. Now it was just a reminder that this was all for show.

When the car stopped, I sniffed back tears and braced myself to go home alone.

But when I entered my condo, I saw my best friend waiting for me. She got up from the couch and came to hug me, and I let myself fall apart in her arms.

“I didn't know you were going to be here,” I said.

She brushed my tears away from my cheeks with her thumbs and said, “Ford thought you might need a friend.”

His name, his thoughtfulness, her presence... it brought me to tears again. I held on to her, saying, “I think you might be my soul mate. Maybe I'm not meant to be with a man.”

She giggled as she brushed back my hair. “Don't tell Gage that.”

I stepped away from her, taking some deep breaths and wiping at my eyes. “I’ve been through heartbreak before, but I don’t want to do it again.” My heart felt so heavy in my chest, knowing what was to come. Sleepless nights. Checking my phone to see if he’d messaged me, only to find nothing new. Watching him at games and knowing I would never have him again. Not in the way I wanted.

Farrah said, “I know. It’s going to be hard, but we’ll get through this together.” She squeezed my hand. “I have frosting and wine on the coffee table, and there's ice cream in the freezer. What would you like?”

“All of it,” I said.

“You start a movie,” she said. “Your pick.”

“Something gory,” I replied. Something to show some of the emotional bloodshed I felt inside.

She chuckled at my half-hearted joke. “Is there anything else?”

I smiled, for half a second, grateful that even if I'd lost Ford, I still had my best friend. I made myself a promise never to lie to her again—she deserved nothing less than my full honesty.

For the next couple hours, we watched a movie I can hardly remember and ate far too much sugar. I didn't check my phone until she stepped into the other room to tell her kids goodnight. And when I did, I saw new messages from Ford on the screen.

Ford: I really am sorry. Please forgive me.

Ford: I do love you.

Ford: I know you deserve better.

I replied with two words.

Mia: I do.

But just because you forgive someone, and just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they still need to have access to hurt you again.

I woke up with my alarm the next morning, both Farrah and I lying in my massive bed.

“Ughhh,” she groaned. “It’s so early.”

I silenced my alarm and said, “Stay and sleep in. You deserve it.”

She mumbled a thanks, and within seconds, she was softly snoring again.

If my chest didn’t ache and my eyes didn’t sting from so many tears, I might have chuckled. Instead, I got up from the bed and went to my dresser, putting on my yoga clothes. Then I went downstairs, where my driver was already waiting to take me to my private hot yoga class.

An hour later, exhausted and sweating like a glass of lemonade in summertime, I came back to my condo. Farrah was still sleeping as I got ready for the day.

I knew I should have been on top of the world; officially acquiring Andersen Avenue was a major accomplishment. There would be press conferences throughout the week and dozens of interviews to talk about the acquisition. But I couldn’t get away from the sinking feeling in my heart like it might not be enough. Like I wanted more out of my life than only business.

When I arrived at my office, Vanover was waiting with a cup of coffee. I took it from him and stopped in my tracks. There was a fresh flower delivery at my desk.

“Have these removed,” I told Vanover.

He studied me for a moment, hesitating, then smoothed his dark wavy hair. “Well, the thing is...” Then he picked an invisible piece of lint from his lapel.

“What?” I asked.

“I would love to, Mia, but it would signal something to the rest of the company. You've had these flowers in here since you and Ford got together. And if it gets out, then he’ll be?—”

I let out a sigh. “Fine, but order me another bouquet to go with it. Something green.”

“I will,” he said. He studied me for a moment, seeing far too much, and before he could make any astute observations, I asserted, “I'm fine.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“I’m fine,” I reassured him. Even though I wasn't. But I would be. I hoped.

I turned and went to my desk, hearing Vanover mutter, “Oh shit.”

I turned back to him to see what on earth he was talking about.

Several people were coming out of the elevators with more sunflower and lavender arrangements, and something that looked suspiciously like a box of chocolates.

Vanover said, “I think this is a double delivery. A fresh bouquet was sent earlier this morning.”

The lead delivery person stepped forward and said, “Ford Madigan told us to send this.”

I swore under my breath. I needed to get back to work. “Put the flowers on the reception desk,” I said.

The other delivery people carrying the flowers did as I asked, but the man with the box of chocolates and a card in a white envelope came to me. “These are for you.”

I had half a mind to throw the card in the trash, but the same curiosity that killed the cat had me opening the flap and reading the card inside.

Congratulations on the acquisition. I'm so proud of you. You amaze me every day. -Ford Madigan

My eyes stung with moisture, and I blinked it back quickly, handing the card and the chocolates to Vanover.

“What would you like to do with these?” he murmured.

“You can have them,” I said softly, trying to keep it together. Trying to remind myself I said goodbye to Ford for a reason.

I went back to my office to prepare for the meeting with the Andersen sisters. We had less than half an hour before they would be here, along with press to record them signing the agreement.

The flowers seemed to stare at me until I went to the conference room to meet them, a dozen photographers watching by.

I signed for the company, and then while Leticia was signing, asked Andrina, “How does it feel?”

She smiled back at me and said, “It's amazing to see what women can do when they get their hands on more money.”

I grinned at her, feeling truly happy for the first time today. The three of us women had done an incredible thing, and so many people were going to benefit from it.

I couldn't let whatever was going on with Ford overshadow this.

So when I posed for the photos, my smile was real.