Her Christmas Wish (The Cottages on Ocean Breeze #1)

Chapter Twenty-Two

S age’s heart went from pure, undiluted panic to relief so quickly she stumbled as she raced toward the man heading for them.

That it was Gray holding her rescued daughter gave her a further measure of warmth. With wide eyes she reached the two before Scott and Iris, but just barely.

Sand flew as she stopped abruptly, reaching for her daughter. “Are you okay?” she asked the little girl, checking every inch of her for stains, signs of blood, bruising, distress. And then, looking up at Gray, “Where did you find her?”

Then back at Leigh, hugging the little girl tight. “Thank God,” she said, and burst into tears.

“Where’d you find her?” Scott’s voice spoke just beyond Sage.

“Is she okay?” Iris asked right after. As Morgan and Angel circled around them barking.

Sage hung on. Squeezing her eyes shut to stem the flow of emotion welling over. She didn’t want to scare Leigh.

The thought materialized, just as she heard Gray say, “I didn’t find her. She knocked on the door.”

The dogs had quieted.

“Mommy, you’re hurting me!” Leigh’s voice, strong and a bit irritated, accompanied the little girl’s proclamation as she pushed against Sage.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” she quickly responded, putting the child down and looking her over again head to foot as both dogs came forward and did the same. Morgan licked Leigh’s fingers. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

Because if she was...then what...

“I breaked the rules and Mr. Buzzing Bee said I have to take my punishment and him, too, together. I don’t know why him. It’s my rules.” At that, the little girl turned to look at Gray, who’d been talking softly with Iris and Scott, while standing right there, within touching distance of Sage.

“How come you get in trouble? It’s in my rules?” she asked, frowning.

“Because I’m a grown-up and I know your rules, and I didn’t check to make sure you were following them, which makes me in trouble, too.”

As Sage slowly got up to speed, her mind spun in all new directions. Which built different tensions. With a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, she stood and faced Gray. “She broke her rules to visit you?”

Why that was in any way his problem, she had no idea.

“Am I punished now?” Leigh asked, looking up at the two of them.

Scott, who’d stopped talking with Iris and was watching the interchange, stepped forward, looking at Sage, and then Gray, before taking Leigh’s hand. “I think Mommy needs some time to figure that out,” he told the little girl. “Why don’t you come with me and Miss Iris back to your house and wait for her?”

He glanced at Sage at that last bit. She nodded. Fighting through the residual effects of the original trauma, to try to figure out what was going on.

She’d been standing right there, with Leigh playing catch with the dogs, talking to Scott and Iris about an apparent potential buyer for the cottage at the end of the road, and next thing she knew, Leigh was gone.

“Our first water rescue class is tomorrow,” she said, inanely. But not. “They can’t come soon enough as far as I’m concerned. I thought...”

Didn’t matter what she’d thought. She’d failed to watch her child.

“She said she snuck away on purpose,” Gray told her. “She thought I was mad at her because I wasn’t on the beach anymore. Apparently, one of her little friends at school got mad at her today and stayed on the other side of the room and wouldn’t play with her.”

“Sarah, right. I heard about that.”

“She told you?”

“No, her teacher did. Sarah apparently told Leigh that since she only has a mommy she comes from a broken home. Leigh was adamant that her house wasn’t broken and stomped her foot, insisting that Sarah take it back. Sarah didn’t. And Leigh told her she didn’t like her anymore. From what I heard, Leigh later apologized, but Sarah didn’t respond and wouldn’t talk to her.”

Basic kid stuff. All except for the broken home part.

“I once had a kid tell me that the police were going to come and take me away,” Gray told her. “We were about Leigh’s age. He’d heard his mother call Child Services on my behalf. Kids repeat what they hear.” He shrugged, meeting her gaze as he dropped yet another bombshell glimpse into the young life that had shaped the man he’d become. “I heard my grandmother give that woman some words that I’ve never forgotten,” he added with a grin. “Right after Child Services had done their thing and cleared my home and upbringing as clean and loving.”

Watching him, Sage asked softly, “What did she say?” So not the most important topic at hand. But he’d said he’d never forgotten.

“Love matters,” he said back, holding her gaze. And then with one of his nods, grinned again. “Right after she told her that it might behoove her to mind her own business a little more and ours a little less. Her son had just been caught stealing grapes off what he thought was a neighbor’s fenced-in vine. Turned out the neighbor caught him and stopped him from eating them as they were common moonseed, not grapes, and poisonous.”

Love did matter. And sometimes you loved someone enough to know that you weren’t good for them. You took responsibility and walked away.

Sage got his message loud and clear.

Gray’s instincts were pinching him uncomfortably, strongly urging him to retreat back to Scott’s cottage and nurse his beer.

The man his grandmother had raised stood on the beach with a question hanging there, waiting to be asked.

Was she still on birth control?

“I’m sorry Leigh bothered you,” Sage offered before he could force the words past the constrictions in his chest and throat. “As you’ve probably noticed, she pretty much has the run of the beach down here, in terms of neighbors. She thinks everyone is family and therefore fair game. I’ll be giving her a lesson on that one as soon as I get home.”

Gray’s spine straightened. “You don’t trust me with her?”

Maybe he couldn’t blame her, considering his resistance to having a family, but he’d made it quite clear that he was good with kids. Enjoyed them. Just... “Because I didn’t think to make sure someone knew she was with me,” he finished before she had a chance to respond.

“No!” Her response, the irritated drawing together of her brows, spoke more strongly than the one word. “In the first place, I think I just overheard you telling Scott that you thought he or I were just outside...”

He had. And nodded.

“And in the second, my God, Gray! You’re a renowned veterinarian. So much so that even when social media is trying to cancel you, you’ve got investors lining up to support your new start. You can’t be that good with animals and not be good with kids. Beyond that, Leigh likes you, and she might be only four, but she’s a pretty good judge of character.”

He looked at her then. Waited.

“And my brother and I are good judges of character, too,” she added, somewhat sheepishly, while Gray’s mood took an upward soar.

“Then, please, let Leigh know that she is welcome to visit me anytime, with your knowledge and permission, of course, and I will be delighted to be counted as one of her friends.”

A friend. Not a parent.

That he could handle.

With honest anticipation. Sage’s little girl was a hoot. “She’s a captivating conversationalist,” he said, because thinking of Leigh’s way of looking at the world made him smile.

And he needed all the smiles he could get.

Sage nodded, thanked him profusely for keeping Leigh safe and turned, as though to go. Gray called her back. “Hey, hold on a sec.”

Turning, she raised her brow, but wasn’t going anywhere.

“I just want to make sure we’re ready for the morning,” he told her. “You’ve got all the paperwork ready?” The excuse was cheap. See-through. The group was meeting at her back porch, where they’d sign necessary forms, and then the rest of the morning was all on him. Sage wouldn’t even be there.

She didn’t have a dog.

“Yes, everything is filled out. Just awaiting signatures.”

He knew that. She’d mentioned the fact that afternoon.

She turned to go again.

“Don’t be too hard on her,” he blurted next. “I really should have checked that someone knew she was there.”

“Did you really tell her that you’d take your punishments together?”

“I did. When I told her that she had to own up to her mistake and serve her time without argument.”

Sage’s face softened, and she smiled. “I’m probably going to let her go with a stern warning on this one,” she said. “So here’s yours. If ever there comes a time when she’s too much for you, or pestering you, I want your word that you’ll let me know.”

“That sounds more like a question than a warning.”

“I mean it, Gray.”

He got the warning loud and clear that time. In look and tone.

“It’s not going to happen. But if it ever did, I would absolutely let you know.”

She nodded. Watched him a second longer and turned to head back up the beach.

“Are you on birth control?” The question shot out. Hit her in the back.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, finding it hard to breathe, Gray waited.

Sage froze.

Was tempted to just start walking again. Go home. Pretend she hadn’t heard Gray’s parting blast.

Something in his tone played back to her. A kind of emotional desperation. Reminding her of their conversation in her office that afternoon.

Wasn’t such a shock. She’d been replaying it in her mind, over and over, ever since. Figured that damned conversation was why she hadn’t noticed Leigh missing until the little girl had had time to get to Scott’s, knock on the door and have a conversation with Gray...

That afternoon...he’d mentioned having a father who didn’t care enough to see if there’d been consequences for his actions.

Gray wouldn’t be that guy. But if she chose to keep something from him...

That would be on her, and he’d be free...

Sometimes loving meant being responsible enough to know that you weren’t good for someone and walking away. Her inability to take the morning-after pill...that wasn’t on him. She’d made the choice.

She’d have to cut all ties with Gray. At least for a while.

She had no right to make another person’s choices for them. Period. Just as he hadn’t when he’d chosen to walk away rather than be honest with her about his aversion to being a father. The causes. The reasoning. The conditioning that had built inside him over a period of years.

And maybe a whole lot of misplaced guilt, too. Feeling resentful sometimes, even as an adult, was normal. And for a teenager, all alone caring for an incapacitated grandmother...tenfold.

Thoughts flew as she stood there, looking at sand, seeing nothing. Maybe, if she didn’t move, he’d just slip away, and they could pretend his question had never happened.

Sage slowly turned. Looked at him.

And knew he already had his answer.

Her initial response...her hesitation...was enough information.

“Are you...”

What, pregnant? She held his gaze. Felt a need to defend herself. With no opposition coming at her.

“It’s too soon to tell.”

He nodded. That series of short bobs that covered up so much. And continued to hold her gaze. As though they could somehow both disappear from the situation. Or it would disappear. All of it. The past.

Those seconds on the beach.

The huge question hanging there without an available response.

“But you could be.”

She nodded.

“How likely?” She used to be super irregular. He’d known that once. Had been attentive to certain plans, and wonderfully kind and attentive when she had bad cramps.

The memories washed over her.

And the truth came out. “I’ve regulated over the years as I aged. Like clockwork.”

“And?”

“Timing is right for me to have been ovulating.” There. He could blast her all to hell. Accuse her of trapping him.

She’d clearly been the aggressor. She couldn’t blame him for being suspicious of her motives. What a hell of a get back, right? He breaks your heart, ruins your life plan, humiliates you with a cancellation two days before the wedding—and ten years later you trap him by forcing him to be a part of the reason he’d walked away.

Sage hugged her arms. But didn’t turn away again. She was a lawyer. She had his argument already worked out for him. Would take it with her head held high.

Tell him she hadn’t planned a second of it. Would never have trapped him. And leave him to believe what he might.

Better that he think her duplicitous and walk away than that he stick around and feel trapped.

Gray’s lips pursed. He’d been standing there nodding, his gaze blank. Eventually, those piercing brown eyes seemed to focus on her again.

“When are you due?”

That was it? He was going to take it on the chin, like he had everything else in his life? Keep it inside, and then, when he got to the point of suffocating, take off again?

“Next week.” He’d probably already figured that. A woman’s cycle wasn’t all that much of a mystery.

“Okay, well, keep me posted.”

Hands still in his pockets, Gray turned and headed slowly back down the beach.

Sage watched him. Tears in her eyes.

Wanting to call him back.

But didn’t.

There was nothing she could say to make things better.