Her Christmas Wish (The Cottages on Ocean Breeze #1)

Chapter Twenty-Three

G ray didn’t sleep. He tossed and turned. Dozed and woke up with a start, heart pounding. Several times. At three, he got up, slipped into sweats and a long-sleeved shirt, grabbed his flip-flops, and tiptoed to the back door.

Making it outside without alerting Morgan.

And then he walked. Up the beach, back down again. Once. Twice.

Scenarios chasing themselves through his mind, bumping into and toppling over each other. Melding. Segueing. Interrupting.

He couldn’t land.

He could be a father already. Done deal. No choice.

Sage’s baby.

Knocking on his door and asking Mr. Dad if he was mad.

Sage telling the child not to bother him.

That wouldn’t affect the kid at all. Being told not to knock on Dad’s door.

Or, more likely, Father. It took more than biology to make a dad.

Semantics. Who the hell cared what he’d be called?

If there was a baby. There might not be. The possibility was valid. Some women tried for years, having sex based on ovulation tests even, and still didn’t get pregnant. An old sitcom favorite came to mind on that one.

The couple had eventually chosen to adopt.

Just as Sage had done.

Sage.

She had to be...what?

Getting what she’s always wanted? To have a child of her own. Conceived with a man she loved?

Had loved?

Did she still love him?

Did he love her?

No point going there. The questions were moot.

He’d reached the far end of Ocean Breeze. Where the road and beach met sharp, rocky cliff. And where, in between the two, sat the dilapidated cottage that he’d inquired about purchasing.

He hadn’t made an offer. The neighbors would all be told at that point. They couldn’t affect the outcome. Just...according to neighborhood bylaws, a notice of pending sale would go out.

As he stood there in the dark, hearing the ocean roaring behind him, his toes rubbing grainy sand against the leather of his flip-flops, he decided.

He was going to make the offer.

He’d talk to Sage first, let her know. And if she grew distressed? Begged him not to buy?

He’d cross that bridge when he came to it. If he did.

The cottage spoke to him in a way no other building ever had. It was like the broken-down thing was calling him home.

And if Sage was pregnant...if he was going to be a father...he had to be close.

To the child.

And to the sea.

He’d get a dog right away. Had to have it trained before the child visited. And, hope to God, the canine would train him, too, in how to be responsible every single day, without growing too resentful when the dog’s needs overrode his own desires or plans.

Of course, there were a lot of wonderful places he could board a canine companion when he had to get away.

Not so with humans.

Walking up to the cottage, he made his first in-person, up close inspection. Stood in the cracked and broken parking spaces. Touched the knob on the front door. Noticed shingles missing from the roof. Saw some rotting wood on one side.

And eventually ended up sitting in the sand, leaning up against what had used to be a sliding glass door, an entryway that had been boarded up.

He’d have to dig out to have a porch.

He wanted a porch.

The place was small. Much smaller than Sage’s or Scott’s cottages. That was partially why it hadn’t sold, the Realtor had told him. The woman had also shared that all cottages had right-of-way for additions. Sitting on almost an acre apiece, there was certainly room for the structure to grow.

He had to tell Sage he planned to make an offer. As soon as possible. He didn’t want to lose the place.

Sage.

Possibly pregnant Sage.

He’d had some hours to come to grips with the idea. She’d had almost a week. Had obviously known, the second she’d climbed off him—or shortly thereafter—that there’d been completely unprotected sex.

And she hadn’t said a word. Protecting him?

Or afraid to tell him?

Sage, afraid? Not when it came to telling someone the truth. Easy or hard, the woman was a rock when it came to delivering provable fact.

Even to a man who’d left her at the altar because he’d been so resistant to impregnating her he’d had to break her heart. And his.

But she’d wait until she knew.

And she’d spend every minute between the possibility and the knowing...distraught.

There were some things a guy’s gut just knew when it came to the woman who’d once been his soulmate.

He’d never actually said the word. She had. But that truth had resonated so deeply within him he’d accepted that it was so.

Sage would rather die than trap him. And because of a few brainless seconds in the sand...she could be forced to do just that.

Ten years after they’d both suffered so much to prevent the imprisonment from ever happening.

Irony at its worst?

Fate’s worst joke on him ever?

An early Thanksgiving nightmare?

Or just something that had happened because he and Sage had made a choice without considering the consequences?

Gray leaned his head back against the house, closing his eyes so he could concentrate more fully on the sound of the waves as he let the questions roll over him.

Figuring he’d have his answers, at least the pertinent ones, soon enough.

The first water rescue class took off to a hearty round of applause at its conclusion. Using Morgan as his demonstrator, Gray had started with giving dogs treats for quickly entering the water at a splash. From there, Sage got a little lost, but noticed that all six residents enrolled in the class were attentive. And participating.

Sitting up on her porch, she made certain that while Leigh watched from the sand, she didn’t approach or interrupt the class.

Gray had said he needed to speak with Sage when class was over. With lead in her stomach, she waited, preparing for the worst.

Knowing that she’d handle it, whatever it was. She’d lost Gray once and survived. Had thrived.

If he planned to sue her for trapping him into an insurmountable situation, she’d offer to settle out of court.

And if she was pregnant...

The thought scared her to death. A single mom of one, that she could do. But two? Tending to Leigh and a newborn? Up all night? Working all day?

Scott would help where he could. And Iris. And Harper and others, too.

She’d be fine...but...would she always be doing it alone? Going to bed alone? Waking alone? Raising children alone? And later, after they were grown, living alone?

Was that the penance she paid for falling in love with the wrong man?

And if she wasn’t pregnant?

She wouldn’t be growing a child inside her, giving birth or tending to a second newborn. Life would continue just as it had done before Gray’s advent on the scene. She’d been happy. The happiest she could ever imagine being.

Before she’d fallen in love with the man all over again.

Sitting up straight, Sage stared only at Leigh. Refusing to allow her gaze to stray, for even a second, to the far too handsome vet on his haunches, spreading his gentleness all over as he taught lifesaving measures.

She had not fallen in love with Gray all over again.

She wouldn’t be that brainless. Wouldn’t make such a self-destructive choice.

Hell, she’d just really met the man the day before. When he’d shown his true self to her.

And...had fallen in love with him more deeply. More intensely, for understanding the man more deeply.

She couldn’t do it. Couldn’t trap him in a situation that would ruin his life. He’d fought too hard to get out of circumstances that had controlled him.

Scott approached the group five minutes before the class was due to end. Or rather, approached Leigh, took her hand and led her down closer to the group. Let her play with the dogs as they came up off the wet sand—a place she was forbidden to go unless one of her adults was holding her hand—and then, as the small crowd dissipated, he took Leigh’s hand again, as Leigh’s head turned up toward his.

Sage saw her daughter nod. Saw her brother look up her way and wave.

Leaving her only non-churlish option to wave back. Which she did.

She stood up, seeing the man she’d purposely been not looking at heading her way.

She’d expected to have Leigh close by, inside watching the movie she already had cued up and ready, while she and Gray had a glass of sweet tea on the porch.

He’d say what he had to say.

He’d leave.

And she and Leigh would head into town for some shopping.

She’d had it all planned. Was off her mark, even thinking about being alone at her house with Grayson Bartholomew.

The possible father of her possible child?

When he hadn’t known, she’d been able to keep herself contained. But with someone else clued in...

How could something that wasn’t even real yet, might never be real, suddenly seem more real?

She was standing in the sand, as though guarding the entrance to her porch, when he approached. “You arranged to have Scott take Leigh?” she asked.

“I did.” He didn’t even attempt to prevaricate a little bit. Which tightened the knot in her stomach. The man meant business.

In a manner that had to be out of earshot of children.

“Did you ever have a dog growing up?” she blurted out. Hating that she kept losing her tongue around him like some frilly thing that didn’t know better. Leigh wore frills. Sage hadn’t since her mother died.

She was avoiding the coming confrontation. He’d know it.

How humiliating.

“No.”

“Did you want one?” Leigh wanted one. But seemed happy to settle for having nearly a dozen of them wandering in and out of her days.

“Yes. And before you ask, we couldn’t afford it.” His words were somewhat short, but not with a mean bend. More like impatient to move on to his meeting agenda.

She didn’t invite him to the porch. Or offer the tea she’d been prepared to serve.

“I won’t keep you,” he said, and she nodded, grateful that it would be quick. The beheading of whatever dreams she might have been secretly harboring.

“I wanted you to be the first to know I’ve found a place. I intend to make an offer later today.”

What? Sage’s mouth dropped open. That was it? He’d been looking at homes since before his had closed. Had planned to purchase, and then move after the GB Animal Clinics case went to court...

“Um, good!” she said, catching up to him. “Great! Where is it?”

Please, God, overlooking the ocean. Gray’s one stipulation, whenever they’d talked about where they might live, had been that he have an ocean view.

“It’s right here, Sage. On Ocean Breeze.”

Right there?

He thought he was going to move in with her?

Had he lost his mind?

She wasn’t saying no. Or even trying to shake her head. Mouth hanging open again, she just stared at him.

Then, closing it, studied him. And eventually asked, “You’re serious?”

He nodded. That short series of bobs. Looking her right in the eye. As though he could climb inside her and make certain she understood him.

But...he couldn’t just move in with her. They weren’t together.

She didn’t even know yet...

And something else hit her. Iris telling her and Scott that she’d heard that someone had expressed interest in the dilapidated place at the end of the road. No formal offer had been made, but she knew.

“It’s you,” she said aloud, wide-eyed.

“It’s been me since I walked up. You just figuring that out?”

“No, it’s you who expressed interest in the cottage at the end of the road. You’re going to buy it?” She couldn’t keep the excitement out of her voice. Couldn’t stop happiness from flowing through and out of her.

His grin came slowly. “I take it you don’t have a problem with it, then? With us being permanent neighbors?”

Permanent neighbors. Not lovers.

Or parents.

Neighbors.

Something else struck then. She’d heard about interest in the cottage before she’d told Gray that she could be pregnant.

And had heard that the potential buyer had inquired about the place several days before.

Their sex on the beach, her possible pregnancy, hadn’t changed anything as far as his wanting to live close was concerned.

At least not yet. He might change his mind, run for a cliff house someplace, if she found out she was pregnant.

And he might not. Maybe, living down the road, without full responsibility, or the ability to affect the life inside a home, would be enough to keep him around.

Her smile was a bit tremulous, but she got it out there. “No, of course not,” she said, both hands clasped at her lips. “I have no problem with us being permanent neighbors.”

No problem that she’d put on him, at any rate.

She was in love with the man. Possibly carrying his child.

Felt a little like she’d just been given a little Thanksgiving miracle. Something extra to be thankful for that year.

She might be a fool to want him around, even just as a neighbor, but the truth was, if that was where he wanted to be, she wanted him there.

Neither of them mentioned the very real danger inherent in having Gray living so close permanently. That at some point, they could find themselves in a situation similar to the previous Saturday night.

They both knew it was there, though.

And that afternoon, when she went shopping, she slid a new item into her cart.

A box of condoms.

Just in case she wasn’t pregnant.