Her Texas Cowboy Protector (The Winchester Cowboys #3)

Chapter Thirteen

Landon took a sip of his cold beer as he relaxed in a chair on his front porch. It was a chilly night in late January, but he’d been unable to stand it inside his cabin. The sky was clear, and he enjoyed looking up at the stars.

Ever since Natalie had bought her gun and started her self-defense classes, they’d been texting regularly. It was nice, but his heart ached desperately to see her, to hold her in his arms.

Sighing, he took another swallow of beer. He wouldn’t rush her. She needed to heal in her own time. He knew that, but it didn’t make his longing for her any easier to bear.

His text tone sounded, and his pulse picked up. It was Natalie:

Do you think you might be able to come see me, Landon? Maybe we could go out for dinner this weekend or something. I’ve decided to go back to work, part-time for starters, on Monday. Man am I nervous about that.

Heart pounding, he sent:

Of course I can. Shall we do Friday or Saturday?

She texted:

How about Friday? It’s less crowded then.

He sent back:

Friday it is. I’ll pick you up at six-thirty. And, Natalie, I’m so happy!

She texted:

Me too!

He shot his fist into the air and yelled at the top of his lungs. He called his mom a few seconds later. “You’ll never guess what just happened!”

His mom laughed. “I can tell by how excited you are that this must be about Natalie.”

“She wants to go out on Friday, Mom. Isn’t that great?”

“Oh, honey, that’s wonderful. I’m so glad that she’s feeling better. And I’m thrilled for you, son.” Then she covered the phone with her hand and called out, “Ken, Landon’s going out with Natalie Friday night!”

Landon chuckled. He didn’t blame his mom for being excited. Both of his parents had been worried about him—and worried about Natalie too.

A moment later, his dad got on the phone. “Son, congratulations. This is great news.”

“Thanks, Dad. I’m over the moon right now.”

“I’m sure you are. When you see Natalie, be sure you tell her how happy your mom and I are that she’s feeling better.”

“I sure will. See you tomorrow.”

He stared out into the shadows across the pasture. The night was so quiet. It was one of the things he loved most about living on the ranch. The cattle were usually silent at night. And at this time of year, there were no noisy insects. He sighed, feeling truly happy for the first time in so long.

He’d always planned on building his own house on the ranch, and now felt like the right time to do it. He’d saved up a sizeable amount for a down payment on a mortgage. He looked around now with that in mind. The land around the cabin was flat, and there were few trees, so none would have to be cut down. That was a huge bonus in his book. Yeah, this was a perfect place to build. The old cabin could be torn down to make room for his new house.

He called his dad back and told him what he was thinking. “Don’t you think this is a perfect spot? We could tear this old cabin down, couldn’t we?”

“Son, there’s something you may want to consider before you go off on this idea of building your own place. Why don’t you talk to Beau? We had an interesting conversation the last time he was here. He doesn’t think he’ll ever come back to live here at the ranch. He said that Cat is always going to need to live in a big city. She’ll want to use public transportation or something like it to get around. And he wants to live near her. And you know that all of Dakota’s family lives in San Antonio. It seems like you could buy Beau’s house from him, don’t you think? It’d sure be a good deal all around.”

Surprised, Landon said, “That’s actually not a bad idea. And I really like Beau’s house. I wanted to build a four-bedroom home, so his would be perfect. Thanks, Dad. I’ll give him a call.”

He finished the last swallow of his beer and moved back into the house. As he took off his coat, he decided to go ahead and call Beau. He sat on the couch and pulled up his brother’s number.

Beau answered. “Hey, little brother. It’s about time you called.”

Landon laughed. “How’s the family?”

Beau filled him in on how Cat and Johnathan and the baby were doing, and then Landon heard Dakota say, “Tell that little brother of yours to come see us when he gets better.”

Landon grinned. “Tell that pretty wife of yours that I will.”

“What can I do for you, Landon? I know you called for something, little brother.”

Landon laughed again. “You know me pretty well. Hey, I was talking to Dad a little while ago about building my own house here on the ranch, and he suggested that I talk to you about buying yours. What do you think?”

“Are you serious?”

“I sure am. I like your house, and it has the right number of bedrooms.”

“Oh, man, Landon, that’s an answer to my prayers. I’d love to get out from under that payment. I’ll give you a great deal. Let me call the bank tomorrow, okay? I put a big chunk of money down on the house, and the land was free, of course. Also, I have a friend at the title office who can do the paperwork for us, so we won’t need to use a realtor.”

“Sounds great, Beau. I’m really getting excited about this.”

“You and me both, man.”

Landon’s pulse was racing when he disconnected the call. This could all work out perfectly—for Beau and for him.

He went in and took a long, hot shower. Everything had turned around so quickly.

When he got into bed, he said a prayer of thankfulness, his heart so full he couldn’t quit smiling. Friday couldn’t come soon enough.

Friday evening, Natalie glanced around the restaurant at the other diners. She’d been thrilled when Landon had told her that he’d made reservations at Perla’s Seafood and Oyster Bar. She was drinking the sparkling rosé wine, and Landon had a glass of the sparkling white. Her meal of scallops a la plancha was fabulous. “How’s your ahi tuna?” she asked.

“Delicious. I love coming here. How’s your dinner?”

“Heavenly.” She’d wondered if it would be hard to see him again, but it wasn’t. He was so kind, so gentle and sweet. How could she have forgotten that?

“How are your mom and dad?” he asked.

“They’re fine. A little overprotective.” Her heart thumped hard as she remembered why. “But I understand.”

“I can see that,” he said. “They love you, and what happened would have terrified them.”

“Yeah, I know it did.” She took another bite, keeping her eyes on her plate. Would he let it go? God, she hoped so.

“You don’t have to talk about how you’re feeling, Natalie. You have your therapist for that.”

A pent-up gasp exploded from her, and her hand flew to her mouth. She hadn’t even been aware that she’d been holding her breath.

He reached across the table and clasped her hand. “It’s okay.” He held her gaze, his eyes warm and kind. “I’m here for you in any way you need me to be. Just relax and enjoy your dinner.”

She forced herself to smile. He was right. She should just relax. She squeezed his fingers. “Thanks.”

He let her go and took a bite of his fish. “I’m so sick and tired of not being able to work. I went to my doc this week, and he said I needed to take it easy for another two weeks! I mean, seriously? I’m going crazy with all this lazing around! I help Mom with stuff I can do around the house, but I’m bored out of my mind.”

She grimaced. It was easy to forget that he’d gone through something terrible too. He just seemed so normal. Was he tormented by regret or guilt? Did he have terrible nightmares too?”

“How’s your head feeling? Does it still hurt?”

“I still get dizzy if I overdo it. But it doesn’t pound anymore.”

She nodded. “Will you ever be good as new? What’s your prognosis?” God, please let him be okay. He loved his ranch work so much.

“I should come out of this just fine if I keep up my end of the deal and take it easy and I’m doing that.”

“That’s good.” She looked down at her plate. She needed to pray more for him. She’d been so caught up in her own healing that she hadn’t paid enough attention to his. What kind of person did that make her? She bit her lip and blinked back tears.

She suddenly felt overstimulated, overwhelmed with emotion. She couldn’t eat another bite. She set her fork across her plate and nudged it away from her.

Landon’s eyebrows rose. “Finished already?”

She nodded, trying to keep her expression pleasant. She wanted to go home. Needed the quiet.

He seemed to sense her mood and signaled their waitress, asking for their bill. In no time at all, they were in his truck and heading for her apartment.

He reached for her hand. “It’s okay, Natalie.”

God, he was so patient with her. She squeezed his fingers, fighting back tears.

When he pulled up to her complex, he walked her to her door.

Before she could say anything, he took her hands. “I’m so glad you called, Natalie.” He cupped her face in his hand. “Take good care of yourself. You know where I am. Just call me if you need me.” Then he turned and walked away. No pressure. No drama.

Her knees buckled as tension flooded from her. She grabbed the doorknob behind her for support. A moment later, she opened the door and went inside, but the relief she expected to feel didn’t come. Instead, she felt sad. Miserable and lonely. She glanced back at the door. She was lonely for the sweet cowboy who knew her so well.

Landon drove out of the apartment complex and headed toward the highway, his gut in turmoil. He’d hoped that Natalie would be further along in her healing, but that obviously wasn’t the case. He swallowed past a lump in his throat and blinked back tears.

Something had come over her at dinner, but he had no idea what it was. All he could do now was give her space. She needed more time to heal.

Twenty minutes later, he stared ahead at the white glare the headlights made on the narrow two-lane highway. On this mostly deserted stretch of road, deer were frequent visitors, and he had to be careful not to hit one.

All of his enthusiasm had vanished after one look at Natalie’s drawn face when she’d pushed her plate back. She’d pulled away from him in an instant. A sense of helplessness overwhelmed him as he focused on the dark, lonely road ahead. Even the prospect of owning his own home felt empty now. What was he going to do by himself with three empty bedrooms? His dinner sat in his stomach like a leaden ball. His head ached, and he felt the pain right down to his soul.

His heart hurt, and he raised his hand to it. For the first time, he felt that Natalie might never really be whole again. Eyes open, he prayed: God, please ease Natalie’s heart. Take away her fear. Calm her memories and stop her bad dreams. Bring her back to me, if that’s what’s right. I love you, God. Amen.

Days later, Natalie leaned back on the couch in her therapist’s office. She’d just finished telling Dianne about her disastrous date with Landon where she’d had to leave half-way through dinner.

“So you feel that you’ve been too self-centered since your kidnapping? Is that what I’m hearing?” Dianne asked.

Natalie nodded. “I’ve never really thought about what Landon went through. He was hurt badly! He tried to protect us all and he killed three men. I’ve been so upset and worried about myself that I’ve barely considered that he must have been traumatized too. How selfish is that?” Her throat closed, and she struggled to take a breath.

“Natalie, it’s okay that you’ve been focused on your own recovery. From what you’ve told me, Landon has a close, loving family to help him through his ordeal. You don’t need to spend your emotional energy worrying about him right now. It seems obvious from his conversation with you that he understands.”

She paused for a moment. “Don’t forget that you reached out to Rachel twice, so you were thinking of someone other than yourself. You spoke to her father shortly after you got home and found out that she was hospitalized for her emotional trauma for what turned out to be more than a month. During your second call, Rachel told you that you two couldn’t be friends anymore. That you reminded her of what happened, and she couldn’t take that.”

Natalie grimaced at that painful memory. “Yeah, even though we were best friends, I understood why she felt that way.”

Dianne nodded. After a moment, she asked, “Tell me, why do you think you missed Landon as soon as he left you after your date? What was that all about?”

She took a long, trembling breath. Was she going to cry now too? Hell. She said, “I sat down after he left, overwhelmed with so many emotions. I couldn’t really think. I’m not sure how long I sat there, but I was stiff and sore when I finally stood up. I knew then that I love him. He’s good and kind, tender and loving, and he understands me better than anyone I’ve ever known. He’s like my soulmate. I remembered how happy he used to make me. How much fun we had when we were together. Something happened when I realized that. I grew warm inside, like the sun was shining on me. And I just knew.”

Dianne nodded. “Are you going to do anything about it?”

She sighed. “I’ve been thinking about that. I still have nightmares sometimes. Terrible ones.” She bit her lip. “And I still get upset if a man crowds me on the sidewalk.”

Dianne nodded again. “That’s understandable. Do you feel like you’ve improved in the past months?”

“Oh, definitely. I’m not afraid to go to sleep, and I don’t dread leaving the house.”

Dianne smiled. “I agree. You’re much better since we first started seeing each other. And I expect you to keep improving. So, I ask again. Are you going to do anything about loving Landon?”

She clenched her hands together. “I should call him.”

“Natalie, there are no ‘shoulds’ in this. There’s only what you want to do. What feels right to you.”

But what felt right? She stared at her clenched hands. Was she ready to open herself up? Could she do that?

“There’s no rush, Natalie. Remember that,” Dianne said.

She remembered how understanding Landon had been at their dinner date. The gentle way he’d cupped her cheek at her door. She could try. No, she would try. “I’m going to call him. And I’ll go see him. It’s my turn, after all.”

Dianne nodded. “Do you think you’ll make a plan about what to say or just play it by ear?”

Damn, she hadn’t thought that far.

“What do you suggest?”

“That’s up to you, Natalie. Whatever makes you feel comfortable. Just think about it. There’s no rush with this. You’ll know when you’re ready to move forward. It could be tomorrow, or it could be weeks or months down the road.” She smiled, then said, “Now, tell me how your job’s going.”

As Natalie drove home after her appointment, contacting Landon was all she could think about. She’d do it. She didn’t want to wait.

When she walked through her door thirty minutes later, she tossed her purse in a chair and poured herself a glass of wine. Without letting herself think about it, she brought up his contact. When he answered on the first ring, she said, “Landon? It’s me.”